The Conversion Bureau: For Truth, For Treasure, and For Escape.

by Erac

The Invasion, and The Adventure Begins.

“This night just keeps gettin better and better. Ya know?” Benny shot as the van peeled out of the parking lot, “I’ve got the devil himself wanting to kill me. Isn’t that great?!”

“Actually, I’d be more worried about that Marshal. He looks like a man of means.” Bert replied simply, his rage having died down soon after taking the wheel.

“Yeah, but. . . did you see the way everyone jumped on me, that was weird. They normally wait until they get all sides of the story,” Benny began,

“Have you not thought it may hav somethin to do wit the Sheriff clawin his way out of the groun to come and kill you personally?” Bruce rolled his eyes.

“Allright. Another thing, how come you saved my ass back there, saved both are ass’s?” Benny shot Bruce a look,

“Simple, I nee a little help, you nee a way out. We’re goin to partner up, and we’re all going to walk away very rich indee.” He smiled,

“Oh gawd, this again. How many times I gotta tell ya. Scavenging the city is suicide.” Bert face palmed before grasping the wheel to quickly take a turn down an alley, Van barely scrapping its side along the wall. “Think they're following us?”

“To tell the truth I think they have bigger problems with the Sheriff. They're not coming after us.” Benny filled in.

“Ehmm, yes. as I was sayin, there are several places in tha ruin tha I believe will more than make up for the effort of searching them for the treasures they hol.” Bruce smiled.

“All Right, we’ll let you out at one. I have to talk to some people to clear my name, for christs sake. They actually believed that fucking ghost whatsit!” Benny said idly wiping away splattered booze from his face and clothes the best he could.

“I don’t believe you fully understan, We are talking about a lot of money here!” Bruce yelled.

“Inside voice, use it!” Vince snarled clutching his ears, Bruce let out a small sigh.

“I’m really grateful for you saving me back there, really. Least we can do for ya, we’ll even wait with the van running if it won’t take too long.” Benny said shooting the Cajun a smile.

“Ugh, listen. I need help in gettin this stuff. I’m willin to split it evenly ‘IF’ you help me.”

“Listen, I promise this won’t be that big a problem. plus, I have transportation arranged for us.”Bruce grinned.

“All right, there you go again with the ‘US’ thing. See I’m very grateful, but we’re not doing it not no way no-.” Benny paused as he was interrupted by Bert.

“We’ll do it,” he said matter of factly. The van lurched as Bert swerved to avoid a few odd scarecrows that we’re staggering about in the road, Vince let loose a torrent of curses, as he lost his balance and fell on various tools piled around them.

“Why not in boxes. make easier to find, and not hurt us!” Vince growled.

“Yeah, I know I really should do something about that.” Benny sighed. “All Right, so why do you wanna help him Bert? I know it’s not because you trust him.”

“I’m sick of trying to claw out a livin. I want my piece of the pie. It’s out in those ruins, and I say we get what we deserve.” Bert said matter of factly.

“Tha is the spirit!” Bruce grinned wide.

“You're all insane as I am handsome!” Benny shot. eyeing the odd looks they gave him. “. . .Thats. that’s really crazy.”

“Yep uhm.” Bert started again. “Think of it Benny, it won’t be that bad, and if things get rough we can always just drop what we’re carrying and get outta dodge.”

“But Bert. You know what they say lives out there in that, that place. . . People go there but they never come back, the ones who do. . . they ain’t right.” Benny paled at the thought.

“Well, those people weren’t us. Let’s go and get our fortune!” Bert hollerd growing ever more excited at the thought.

“Hey, good words to put on your tombstone. If you're set on listening to this Cajun Jerk, I say let’s do it then, I’m in if your in!” Benny cheered, It was too late as gold fever had taken Benny.

“Now, this is what I like to hear!” Bruce laughed giddily, clapping his hands together.

“Hue-Mens, stop yelling. not need to in here!” Vince growled. His eyes softened as he set eyes on a pair headphones, he didn’t have anything to listen too, but they helped dull the noise.

“All Right, fine. you guys win. where do we hit first?!” Benny yelled still ignoring Vince.

“There is a store on the way, I suggest we hit there.” Bruce grinned.

* * *

The winds howled in the bar as another combatant was hurled through a window. Lighting shot from the hands of the man clad in black as he screamed a tormented scream. “HE GOT AWAY!” the Sheriff howled, sparks bursting from his hands, readily lighting the spilled booze and wooden tables. It was a strange sight as they ran. Humans, Ponies, Griffin, and Dog Alike.

“Everyone run, I’ll keep him busy!” Hawk yelled out, The Sheriff simply grinned as Hawk came out shooting,

“I’ll give it to ya, thinkin you're all brave and tough. then somethin comes along that ya just can’t kill, then what? You turn into cowards while someone with guts steps up to do your job!” The Sheriff barely flinched as Hawks bullets struck his torso and head, “Sorry there cowpoke, them lil Ol’ iron bullets O yers ain’t gonna cut it for me.”

“They don’t have to!” Hawk laughed before sending a chair towards him with a kick, one with a special surprise stuck underneath its seat. Hawk rushed away, making sure to scoop up one of the injured ponies before leaping through one of the smashed windows.

* * *

“What the hell is that thing,?! Nothings worked on it!” Buster yelled as he set down two unfortunate ponies who had gotten caught in the crossfire.

“I’ve never seen anything like that, till now anyways.” Hawk said, before setting another man down on the ground. The group was startled as the ground shook, and the windows of the nearby buildings rattled, before the bar let out a horrifying groan of warping snapping timber. They all shared a odd look as they saw several HLF members, and Diamond Dogs come pouring out with unconscious patrons. There was a strange tension in the air as the HLF began to set injured men and pony alike on the ground.

“Hey, what gives, thought you pricks hated ponies.” Mikey coughed, hacking from swallowing too much smoke.

“Listen, no one should burn to death. I don’t give two shits about’em really, but no one dies if I can help it.” The bearded man said, soot streaking his vest. “Name’s Jasper Co-Leader of the local HLF.”

The ground shook as the front of the bar exploded in a ball of fire. “Ha, see how he handles a little C-4.” Hawk grinned, “All right, now we pick through the rubble make sure he’s dead, and set out and catch the little mass murderer.”

“So. . . you’re just kinda winging this whole, monster hunter thing, huh?” Buster eyed Hawk.

“Yep pretty much.” Hawk sighed.

* * *

“Wonder why no one’s looted here before. I mean it’s got loads of goodies.” Bert remarked as he pushed the cart through the aisle.”

“Yeah, don’t make a lick of sense.” Benny said as he picked through old clothes and such “Heh, Hey Bert, Think this will fit ya?” Benny grinned as he tossed Bert the Leather Jacket. “Put it on, It’s cool outside.”

“Ugh, This is not what I had in mind when I said scavenging.” Bruce sighed, as he picked throgh various odds and ends. Kicking a bag of moldy feed, he jumped as mice scurried about. “Egad, RODENTS. How, grotesque. . .” Bruce sneered.

“Ha, ya lily livered pansy. You’re wantin to go diggin through that city, and you're not even willin to get a bit dirty. Well ain’t you a dandy.” Bert chuckled as he put on the leather jacket, taking a bit of extra time to fit the leather gloves tightly.

* * *

“ALLRIGHT! Terry, Mikey you two come with me, we're gonna take our employers to the new station. Donny, Pixel try and do some damage control allright!” Buster yelled

“Hey, what do we do for weapons?” Randy said, eyeing a few of the HLF members who seemed to be in various states of agitation.

“Stop bullshitting, we all know you have bang sticks, ball bats, and explosives in your van.” Buster raged. “Hey, Jasper! Where do you think your going? We need all the help we can get.”

“We are going back to the compound and are going to lock that place down tight. The treaty is still on, any ponies that can get there in ten minutes are welcome to stay under our protection.” Jasper spat.

“Listen, shits gone haywires. or is about to go that way, we need guns and man power, and the PER in this town aren’t really militaristic. Besides I don’t think they’d help us anyway.” Buster screamed at the grimacing man.

“No, I think we’ve given enough help for one night.” Jasper spat back.

“Look how much it took to kill that vampire ghost guy, thing. We need help!” Buster shot back resisting the urge to hit the smug looking man.

“No thank you, last team up everyone nearly wound up killing one another, we’ll secure our turf and stay out of your way.” Jasper said turning to walk away.

“Fine, Hey Hawk, Megan, Zorro. you guys mind riding with us back to what's going to be our new HQ?” Buster turned to the cowboy.

“Not really, seems you’ve got things covered, we’ll stay for assistance and to watch, but we plan on leaving soon.” Hawk apologized.

“Well, ain’t that great. Hell we’d get bette-!” Randy stopped as he and the rest of the group felt the air change around them once again, with a near overburdening electric charge that made their hair stand on end. “What now!” Randy was answered by an odd light fog, in the distance they could see silhouettes of things broken and twisted shambling towards them, and they caught a bit of the ‘laughter’ horrid and bloodthirsty, in the air.

“Shit. . . wanna rethink that cowboy?” Buster called out to the man in the duster.

“All right, but let’s just hurry to this place. I’m just hoping that this is gonna be a short job.” Hawk sighed.

* * *

The van rocked as it barreled through another group of straw men. The whole town was waking up, and sporadic gunfire could be heard all around in the distance.

“Ya know, this was supposed to be a nice simple hiring of some mercs to police the region, you know make my life just a little bit easier, but as always it never goes smooth. Why the hell does it never go smooth?” Hawk muttered to himself,

“Holy shit look at’dat sombitch go!” Mikey whooped, Megan cringed as she saw the scene infront of her. A unicorn running about with it’s tail ablaze.

“Mikey, cool it. we’re gonna load up with weapons and try and get them to the others.” Buster said.

“Others, how many Exterminators are there?” Zorro said as he tried to steady himself on one of the boxes in back.

“Wow, you guys didn’t know. There’s like thirty one of us. I mean, not all of them are human but still.” Mickey grinned, everyone held on tightly as Mickey swerved once again to plow through a group of shambling dead, and also to run a pegasi and baby dragon off of the sidewalk. “I LOVE MY JOB!” Mickey grinned with a manic gleam in his eyes.

“. . . That whole psychotic thing was true, wasn’t it?” Megan whispered to Hawk.

“Yeah, I think so.” Hawk muttered. The van lurched to and fro as they speed around turns, and they hit what they hoped were just speed bumps.

“Yeah, you get used to this type of stuff in this town,” Buster grinned shooting the trio of pros a look from up in the passenger seat. “Won’t take long to get there, I’m betting you’ll just love Vera dearest there. Zorro was it?”

“Yes it was. You are sure your not escapees from the local mental ward. . . correct?” Zorro coughed.

“Sorry, just love it when something big happens. We’re more calm when st-.” Buster stopped as Mikey and Terry cried out in unison.

“Holy shit, take a look at that!” Hawk and Megan leaned forward for a better look out the front windshield. They watched with various amounts of unease as they saw a zombie being smashed against a wall by a truck, wrapped in a panicked unicorns magical grasp. “I didn’t know them damned guys could throw shit like that!” Terry said awestruck.

“Heh, we actually know a unicorn that's taken down an ursa minor with hers.” Zorro chuckled. The van skidded to a halt outside of a large seemingly abandoned old building.

“Welp, here we are, the old police HQ before the collapse.” Buster said making a grand gesture with his arms as he stepped outside towards the old building, with cracking brick walls overgrown with vines and moss. “Come on with me. Mikey, Terry go around to the side, the floor is finished on that side. I’m gonna take our guests to meet Vera.”

“Oh, why do I have the feeling this night is only going to get better for us?” Hawk grumbled as he and his team followed one of the head Exterminators.

“Oh and watch your step, it’s uh. . . missing some features. The trio shot the large ageing building a once over. Moss covered walls and boarded up windows, and more than a few chunks missing from the crumbling brick walls. They could see parts of which had been replaced. With a bit of growing agitation they filled in after the man, and had to catch themselves as to not fall through the multiple missing sections of flooring.

“Yeah, just watch your step through here. We’ve got a pony named Timber making us some nice replacements,” Buster sighed, as he took wide steps over the holes. which would send you plummeting into the basement in short order. If you weren’t careful.

“Yeah, you couldn’t have gotten some plywood to lay over this!” Hawk shot as he nearly fell twice. He paid no mind to the flaking paint in the hall or the mildew stained walls, as they headed along.

“Hey, We’re not from the big city like you folks. Hell we’ve only recently gotten folks moving in just this year. Most of them are Equestrian folks though. Donkeys, cows, sheep, mules, Diamond Dogs, Griffins, and the odd little dragon. Hell this place hasn’t been this alive in years!” Buster said much too loudly, as he marched into a room that at one time must have been an evidence room.

“All right, good Ol tiled flooring, how I missed you.” Megan sighed with relief. She immediately began to cough as the thick scent of cigarettes filled her lungs.

“Hello~.” Vera rasped, half hidden behind the wire screen; by a thick acrid smelling cloud of smoke. “New members for are little. Crew?” She smiled showing yellow stained teeth. “Well, ain’t you handsome there cowboy. Late to the rodeo are we?” She snickered as she ashed her cigarette into her glass of water.

“Yeah, hey could you put a call out for all the guys. Make sure to send team X and F to the gymnasium, and why the hell aren’t the warning sirens going off?” Buster coughed.

“Well. Not everything is in, ‘Tip Top’ shape your highness.” She seethed. pulling a long drag off of her cancer stick before blowing smoke into Busters face.

“Alright, Jeez. Just put out the call you old bitty,” Buster coughed before blowing his nose on to her counter “Oh, and clean that up.” He shot her a grin as she spat at him.

“Hmm, really friendly working relationship I see.” Megan mused.

“Yep, the friendliest.” Zorro coughed, into a handkerchief. Vera spun about in her chair and slid over to a large looking radio, adjusting a few knobs before she rasped into the mic.

*Attention, all Exterminators and all those inclined to lend a hand. All hell's broken loose, and we are calling out all the stops here, If you happen to live next to any Exterminators or see there van’s just parked in their driveway. Feel free to wake them up, be as nasty as possible about it as well. If you fools haven’t noticed yet, the streets are being swarmed by the dead, and we need team Y and team K at city hall now! The rest of you are free to roam about and raise hell. . . That is all!* Vera spun around and propped her head back up on the counter and looked at the group. “That all?”

“That was kind of vague.” Hawk said trying to wave a bit of the smoke away.

“Trust me on this, letting them off their leash is the best way to get them to move fast. They’ll do fine.” Buster assured. “Oh, hey Vera. Mind lending us Churchill. We got kind of a man hunt going on as well.”

“For you, Hmm. . . Go fuck yourself.” She sneered.

“Great working relationship.” Megan whispered to Zorro sarcastically.

“It’s Benny, we’re gonna be hunting down.” Buster glared at the women. With a sigh she started up again.

“I’m not letting Churchill be borrowed by the likes of you. You on the other hand darlin, You I like.” Vera said fluttering her eyes at Hawk who simply coughed nervously. “Oh relax, your not really my type. Just try and bring that bastard back so I can flay his hide myself, what ever he’s gone and done.” With a piercing whistle a large dog emerged from deeper in the room.

“Woah, you don’t see many like him nowadays.” Hawk whistled, setting eyes on the half machine half canine.

“Eh heh, Churchill over here, he’s nearly bullet proof, never gets tired or loses focus, razor sharp teeth he can use to chew through reinforced doors, and loyal to a fault.” Vera smirked.

“Honey pumpkin. Yes that’s right Churchy wurchy, go with the nice cowboy, and mind him for me now won’t ya?” Vera baby talked before leaning in close. “Make sure he tries to bring Benny back alive. I want to be the one to skin him.” She whispered. With a near silent whir of machinery, Churchill maneuvered carefully, and slowly through the small door of the Evidence locker, to take a seat next to his new master.

“Uhm, thanks. I guess.” Hawk said rubbing the back of his neck.

“Just point him at what you want to kill, or take down and tell him to go to it, sic em or whatever. He’ll know what you mean.” Vera smiled. “Oh, and he already has Benny’s scent, That dog hates that boy, so be careful if you don’t want him pulling pieces off of him.”

* * *

“So anyways. I tried to sneak into the lock up so I could get my hands on a real gun. Yeah I know Marie is only good as a hideout gun, small size and all.” Benny said as he dug through the litter of clothes on the floor. “Hey, how much do we need?”

“Not much, six or so changes would be nice.” Bruce drawled in his Cajun accent moving pieces of torn and molded cloth one at a time with his cane. “Ugh, nasty beyon belief. I’ll nee a tetanus shot.”

“Hey, you hear anything?” Bert whispered, The group turned slowly as the sound of scraping could be heard somewhere in the darkness of the store. Slowly a humanoid shape stumbled out, bashed battered and tarnished. A mechanical store worker stood before them.

*Excuse me gentlemen, but the Tractor Supply Co. is currently closed, you’ll have to leave.* It said with a much too upbeat voice.

“Heh, you gonna make us ya tin can?” Benny chuckled. He stopped as he saw its hand begin to glow.

*Absolutely, me and my cohorts are fully prepared to forcefully remove you from the building, Initial scans show no suitable weapons. . . non lethal means of subdual active in *

“Shit, Run or fight?” Benny said shooting Bert a nervous look,

“Can’t be many of them.”

*. . .3. . .*

“I say we trash this tin can then!” Benny laughed,

*. . .2. . .*

“Very well, we mus get our hands dirty sometime, and its nonlethal as an added bonus.” Bruce grinned.

“Vince will smash you against the floor, this is no fight!” Vince growled.

*. . .1. . .* Slowly more figures began to stumble into the light of the lantern.

“Fuck.” Benny shouted as more crackling electricity lit the darkness.

* * *

“Shit, here they come!” Randy yelled, tossing another stick of dynamite into the advancing horde of shambling horrors and scarecrows.

“It’s the rain, there's something wrong with it!” Pixel screamed, firing another bolt of energy, cleaving one corpse in two before ricocheting off and striking another. Smoke seemed to escape their bodies, and flittered away in the wind.

“What’s wrong with it!” Mikey called out, as he brought the bat around hard, to connect with the skull of another abomination. It let out a final shriek as it fell and was no more.

“Its, its magical!” Pixel said jumping back to narrowly avoid being hit by a spinning scythe.

“Is’nt that a good thing for ponies?” Terry said, as he crushed one skull then the other with the bat. A loud explosion rocked the area, as Randys dynamite sent chunks flying through the air.

“OH GOD, IT’S IN MY MANE!” Pixel shrieked as various unpleasant things plastered her hide.

“And here it comes,” Mikey sighed, Before falling flat on the ground.

“GET DOWN!” Charlie yelled,

“NO ONE TOUCHES MY MANE!” Pixel screamed, A nearly continuous laser shot from her horn as she tore through them all, scorching buildings, and melting multiple windows. With a huff she fell to the ground from exhaustion.

“Heh, I love that trick.” Mikey chuckled, pushing himself up, “Looks like you cleared them out. . . Opps spoke too soon!” Mikey leapt to his feet as the torsos crawled and clawed towards them.

Comments

[Cloudhammer]

I'm liking it thus far, Keep it coming

[Da Bunnana King]

Gave that attention whore a like and a track. Attention whores like getting attention.