• Member Since 2nd Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 16th, 2020

Smudge Proof


A unicorn with occasional delusions of writing.

T
Source

Two changelings wander out of a hive ruled by mayhem after the failed attack on Canterlot... and wonder what to make of the strange new memories they now possess.
Are they the long-lost Apple parents, or are they just a pale image?

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 22 )

I can give this a like.

Ooh! Haven't read it yet, but love that premise! Following. :)

1726707
Thanks! I try to do my best, though I am pretty much a total rookie. :twilightblush:

1726926
*Stands over your shoulder till you get to it.* :pinkiecrazy:

:rainbowhuh: A fascinating concept...

You've got me, good sir - have a fav :twilightsmile:

(Also, just as a friendly bit of advice, you might want to try splitting up your paragraphs a bit more - you're tending towards walls of text in a few places :twilightblush:)

1727101 Heh. Okay. I've read it now, and it's still followed. The way the two changelings reenacted the Apples' "last moments" like that was wonderfully creepy and touching at the same time. Looking forward to seeing their arrival, and the reactions of the rest. :)

Count me amongst the intrigued.

I really like what you did with the slow emergence of individual consciousness--a fresh difference from the rushed (and somewhat unrealistic) "Where'd the hivemind go? I must reconnect with it somehow!"

This is well written, and I'm intrigued as shit, but I am a little confused. While an interesting concept, I'm not sure why these changelings would suddenly believe they are ponies. Nevertheless, I look forward to its continuation.

1727187
Thanks for the advice. It does look better in my text editor, but if I try to format it here it will show a zero word count... I will keep that in mind!

1728097 The next chapter will elaborate on this subject, as well as setting up a parallel story. Wish I wasn't this unslept, I have an urge to write!

1727211 Thank you for the feedback!

1727808 Yeah, I have been trying to avoid overused clich├ęs... I wasn't terribly pleased by the official comic's portrayal of them for a number of reasons, canon or not. and tried to give a new look on the changelings as a species. Next chapter will actually be used to lay out my headcanon about them (while, of course, advancing the plot).

There's a lot of potential here. Just having the characters explore their memories and thoughts would be grounds for a great story but add in possible interactions with the apple family... I'm very much looking forward to seeing how this plays out. I think the sentence with two semi colons in it near the beginning could probably be broken down for easier reading but all grammar/spelling and such seems solid. Another for the fave pile.

1738425 Thank you for the feedback, I will try to reduce my usual walls of texts in the future.

1751073
I am on it, thanks! I just had precious little time lately.

Oh my word - Ember is a LOVELY chapter... so well proofed :rainbowkiss:

1794193
Yes, it is magnificently proofed indeed!

Alright, I like where this is going and I can't wait to see more to where this is going.:twilightsmile:

Ha! Even with Chrysalis (supposedly) dead, she's a manipulator of the highest believable level.

Can hardly wait to see how you connect this to what happened with our two little Changelings...

1794572
Thank you for your words of support and enthusiasm, actually one of my biggest worries was that the puppet herself would not be able to pull the strings of her masters believably! :twilightsmile:

This is a pretty unique idea. I wish there had been more.

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