• Member Since 21st Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 26th, 2014

Little Lollipop

What's this? A girl who likes ponies?

Little Lollipop Joined 21st Jan, 2012 · Offline

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Comments ( 4 )
OldSchoolCatholic
OldSchoolCatholic #1 · Jul 29th, 2014 · · ·
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Well, this is a first.

Dash The Stampede
Dash The Stampede #3 · Jul 29th, 2014 · · ·
Reply

Liked for the title, but can't slog through the fic. Not my taste, but I had to comment.:rainbowlaugh:
~Dash The Stampede

Pizzema Forte
Pizzema Forte #4 · Jul 29th, 2014 · · ·
Reply

In the description:

In fact, he'd rather hire a woman for sex.

I feel like you should change that. Simply saying "He'd rather hire a woman for sex" feels a bit off. It feels like you're going to make a comparison. I would try saying something like; In fact, he'd rather hire a woman for sex than deal with the stress of commitment. I'm not trying to be picky, it just felt really weird the first time I read it.

To my surprise, I actually liked the story. I feel like it doesn't deserve the like/dislike ratio it has, and you certainly have a lot of potential. Keep it up! :twilightsmile:

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