The Election
It was November the fifth, and Mitt Romney was sitting at home. He had just got finished watching one of the presidential debates.
"Damn it Obama, make me a sandwitch!" he demanded. Barack replied immidiately
"Im a little busy right now, give me a minute or two."
"I can't take it anymore. I need to be president. Why cant it be tomorrow?" He said, as if Obama ran the country.
"I don't know Mitt, maybe we can just wait a day. It will be soon." He said calmly. He had always loved him, but becoming president brought out his bad side every once in a while.
"Yea, well soon ain't good enough this time." he said rising to his feet. He smacked Barack across the room, sending him flying into a wooden chair, completely shattering it. At that exact moment, Princess Luna dropped whatever it was she was doing and used her magic to hone in on this disturbance. She looked at the viewing globe and saw Mitt, hitting Obama. Luna was all pissed and shit because she's black and he was hitting another black person. Naturally, she assembled the Elements of Harmony by sending a letter to her "nigga," Twilight Sparkle. She showed up about ten minutes later, along with her friends; Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and the useless one. She then spoke to them.
"There's no time to explain, get in the van." she said. They all jumped in the van and Luna used her Kony Swag to open a portal to earth. After they landed, Luna pointed out the house in which Mitt lived. She then said to them,
"Normally I would solve this myself, but I need to fuck bitches and make money. So, you know, do your whatever thing. Good luck." As she drove off, she began to dougie, because she is black, as she opened the portal like a hot knife searing through a stick of butter. The portal closed and they all looked at Applejack who was standing in the back. She didn't mean to lack but she was at the bottom of the pack. The odds began to stack and her luck went a bit off track. She then began to quack as they pushed her through the door. She looked up to see Mitt standing over Barack with a binder full of women in his hand. He was hitting him and it was up to Applejack to stop him. She began quacking at him. Naturally, he stopped hitting Obama and turned his attention to the small horse with duck lungs. He drew close to see if she was okay, giving Barack a few seconds to recover. Mitt bent over the pony to see if she was okay and she kicked him in the chest. Mitt was infuriated.
"Thats it, your turn." He picked up Applequack and suplexed her into his flat screen. She immediately began bleeding. She had to do something, then she remembered.
"QUACK, QUACK, QUACK!" she blurted. The sound echoed through the house and reached Twilights ears.
.
"Thats the signal! Move out!" Twilight yelled. The rest of the group frollicked in. They seen Applequack on the groung in a pool of her own blood. She was still alive, but she would probably never quack again. Rainbow Dash was somewhat rustled, but only because Applejack couldn't do her homework anymore. Fluttershy on the other hand, was just about ready to kill the rich, mormon politician. She began sprinting, gently flapping her wings to give her some more speed. All of the mane six, save Twilight and Applequack, who were either bleeding on the ground or playing a game of solitare, were in awe. Romney saw the incoming threat and acted quickly. He grabbed her at the chest and flipped her in a windmilling motion out the window. Of course, the window was open, so she was fine; that is until Mitt threw his overheated toaster trailing after her. She had a major third degree burn on her side. Mitt quickly looked back at the rest of the Mane 6.
"Two down, one to go." he said, his face asmirk. Before Twilight could comment on his math skills, he bodyslammed her. She was a bit distraught from the attack, but was mostly ok. He then grabbed her from her tail, and began spinning in a circle. Now moving at least 20 miles per hour, Mitt let go, sending her flying into Applequack, stabbing her with her horn. Pinkie pulled out her party cannon and fired it at Mitt. Unfortunately for her, it was only loaded with confetti. Although it had a tremendous amount of efficiency on changelings and other ponies, it wouldn't have much power against a human. Mitt kicked Pinkie into a wall and wheeled the cannon back to where he was. He grabbed Twilight and used her as ammunition. He realized it would be useless to shoot at Pinkie, so he fired at Rainbow Dash, who uses Rarity as a meat shield. Rainbow went flying full force at Romney, who wasn't expecting much. She had to do her worst, and sonic rain-boomed him through his wall. He was hurt but could still fight. He used his weight against the small pony, dragging her down, slowly descending into the pool. Rainbow was soaking wet and couldn't fly. Mitt seized his opportunity and began striking the now much heavier blue pony. He looked up and seen twilight standing with a blood covered horn.
She picked him up and sent him flying through a wooden fence. Twilight pulled him back to her while putting on a pair of brass horseshoes. When she dragged over to him, she began jumping on him, kicking in all the wood chips splinting into his body. Rainbow Dash, Pinkie and Twilight began beating him with Japanise Kenabo clubs, breaking bones with every hit. He began to beg for mercy,
"Please, comrade, stop." Said Romney. They stopped for only a second, allowing themselves to regain full stregnth. Twilight nodded and she had Rainbow Dash sonic rain-puke on his face. Fluttershy then walked up and poured fruit juice across his whole body. It seemed weird at the moment, but then she pulled out a mason jar full of red ants.She broke it on his shoulder and let both glass and ants cover his entire body. At that moment, a mail delivery truck being driven by a small group of blind orphans came crashing through the front door.
Disregarding the orphans, Obama came around the corner with three large Pit Bulls on leashes in one hand, and the political polls in the other.
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1579333 Yes yes.
Um this is just the last chapter edited to change the man beating his wife to Mitt Romney beating Barak Obama I even have proof
. You forgot to change the her into him
1579480
Well, I'll fix that. But until I do, Barack Obama is a woman.
1579269
no bro, I was just referring to the canon smacking of women in the show.
this is amazingness in a can
1580031
Oh, we'll that makes more sense
1582117
make one with spike in it please? That would be so damn funny. XD
1582125
I will think of something for the next chapter. I did the re-edit to poke some fun at politics. Aside from that, upon your request, I will try to incorporate Spike into the next one.
1582150
thanks man.
Liked, favorited, and sent praises of to the Pope.
Yeah
Because this is COMPLETELY for rated T..
Still funny
1656605
Prove me wrong
1568432
Did your parents drop you on your head from the Empire State Building when you were a kid?
How is this canon? Seriously!
1673736 Between season 2&3 bro. It's canon.
1673769
I am so low right now. Seriously! I was enjoying some kickass Gun Barrel, writing a new chapter on one of my stories(check 'em out). Life was great! And then this fic shows up and punches me in the dick.
Here's aforementioned song. Enjoy.
1673773 I don't see how you could possibly dislike this story.
1673798
Meet my friend.
th02.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2011/329/f/2/d_i_y__ogryn_weapons__by_nicklausofkrieg-d4h8vsh.png
1673810 I'll call him Carl. Why don't you tell me why you don't like the story.
1673835
It's Johann, actually. And I'm just jumping on the Dislike Bandwagon while it's still here. Yes, I'm a complete arse midget, but if a story gets that many dislikes, something's wrong and I don't have the mental capacity to endure bad things. I'll just wait for PeaceColt112 to show up someday and tear this fic a new one. Also, his other story is terribly-rated. This dude's a troll, right?
...Right?
1673857 Duh. Of course he's a troll.
1673865
Oooph, that's a relief. Feels like Celestia had been sitting on my shoulders.
...No, Celestia, you're not fat.
1673872 Honestly, how could you expect him to not be a troll? Maybe it's just more obvious to other trolls.
1673945
Makes sense. I do troll sometimes, but I don't really do that often.
Also - Celestia/Human romance. Does that intrigue you?
1673956 Not since that Celestia x Obama clopfic.
1673989
OOH GAD WAT
Seriously, though.
Lieia fell on her back, panting.
“That’s the fifth time already. You’re certainly not running low on stamina.” The alabaster mare chuckled softly, pulling Lieia to her chest, soaking up the warmth from each other’s bodies.
“You’re a hard one to figure, Cel.”
“How so?”
“You never asked, you never even questioned how I came to be interested in you.” Celestia smiled a bit, sitting up, and pulling Lieia up with her in a wing hug.
“All that matters to me is that I know you love me.”
“Celestia, you have been pouring your soul out to me. I have to tell you. I wouldn’t even deserve your attention any other way.” She sat down more comfortably.
“Well, you know about my life. How I lost it all. Joined the Corps. Became an EXO, a ruthless one at that. You were saying the truth when you called me a war-mongering savage. I-“Celestia interrupted then, kissing her softly.
“Lieia, I had no right to say that. You fight for a just cause. You wish to return peace, freedom and justice to your worlds. Those are noble ideals, ones that every warrior worth his word should strive to uphold.”
“That’s like the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me, Celly. Well, to put it simply, you’re my sanctuary of sorts, a place where I can take a break from the war. And, at the risk of sounding too sappy, you’re my everything.” She poked Celestia in the chest softly.
“You always make me feel safe and welcome, Cel. That’s why I love you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Celestia smiled, laying on her back and pulling the woman on top of her.
“It warms my heart to hear you say that, Lieia.”
Does that seem better?
1674021 yes
Princess for a president.
1674051
Give my stories a read, then. Hope ya enjoy them.
1674053 I might, but you have to read at least one of mine first.
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAcoughHAHAHA!!!!!
1674074
Sure thing. I'll do that if you read Price Of Peace. We got a deal?
1674078 Sure.
1674081 *shakes hands*
1674084 I always wear a hand buzzer.
1674098
AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *spaz to the nth power*
Also, be prepared for clop in my fic. It's a half-hearted attempt on my part, though.
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw8494-1351837378691258.gif
That is all.
Oh, and that this story was totally fucking epic, so.... Have a mustache.
I lold
1578368
dl.dropbox.com/u/40732164/tumblr_m5sq9wXWGw1rnl2pl.gif
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