A Tail of Two Ponies

by Lilyheart

Chapter Thirteen: The Mare in the Chair

🎂

When I was a kid, our church had an eccentric guest priest for a month. Eccentric priests are a dime a dozen; but what made him unusual was his viscerally heavy homilies; a fire and brimstone kind of teaching that would be more at home with some hyper Calvinist or Puritan Church. In one homily, to demonstrate his idea of what Hell was like, he began rhythmically pounding on the podium. And then he began moaning in imitation of what he thought the suffering sounded like.

A woman stood up and proclaimed him a false prophet and a heretic. In the middle of the homily. The priest seemed quite amused and invited the woman to continue speaking, but the ushers quickly forced her out of the sanctuary. Oddly, we never heard of that priest again. I heard that he was relocated to some monastery in the middle of nowhere Canada.

But that moment when she interrupted the priest, the world sort of spun for a moment. It was as though the doors had finally opened, or a missing piece revealed that the puzzle wasn’t what you thought it was at all.

Like something gone terribly wrong; what once seemed innocuous, now revealed as sinister. The gears in my brain ran in overdrive; desperately trying to figure out what had happened to produce this result.

Before I could solve the mystery of the Mare sitting where Twilight ought to be, I found myself engulfed in a giant puff of smoke. And when it cleared, a new figure joined us.

“Behold, the Grrrreat and Powerful Trrrrixie! What can the Great and Powerful magician do for you?”

Trixie stood atop the Cutie Map, her starry cape waving dramatically behind her.

“Trixie!” said the Mare.

“What?” said Trixie with a tilt of her hat. “If you’re going to put off hanging out with me for important work again, I might as well have some fun.”

The Mare facehoofed. Looking across the Cutie Map at us, sitting in Twilight’s chair, was Starlight Glimmer.

Robin gave a little cough from the smoke, and seemed rather disappointed to see Trixie. “Where’s Twi–YOW!”

If Robin was behind me, I would have tried stuffing his mouth with my hoof. But since he was in front, I jumped towards him and unceremoniously knocked him to the floor.

“Sorry!” I placed my forelegs on his shoulders. Look at me, dang it. Look at me!

“Why did you…” He trailed off when he saw my glare. Finally making eye contact, I shook my head.

I turned to face the Starlight. Her eyes glared at us, a discerning, inspecting frown. I liked Starlight. She was one of the most relatable characters, not just from the show, but perhaps in any fiction I’d ever seen. There was something about her that was positively familiar, which made it seem like she could be the likable co-worker, neighbor, or that one lady you chat with after Mass. But Starlight wasn’t supposed to be there. Not without Twilight. And if Twilight wasn’t here…

I glanced toward Sunset. A similar, slightly curious, but cautious expression was in her eyes.

That moment she went in before us… this was a set up. If we make one wrong move… the three mares flanking us were all, canonically, former villains. Something went wrong in the timeline. And the fact that there sat Starlight, sitting in Twilight’s chair of all things, made that all but certain to me.

Still, Starlight’s mane was parted to the side, as she wore it once she reformed. And her little exchange with Trixie was almost disarming. But she could be pleasant before she reformed. So long as she was content, Starlight was always pleasant. That made her even more dangerous.

Trixie looked back and forth between us, confused. “Is something happening? Did I do something wrong?”

I took a breath. Okay, girl, you got this.

“I’m sorry,” I started. “It’s just, this has all been disorienting for both my friend and I. Which is why we wanted your help, Starlight Glimmer.”

Starlight’s eyes softened. “Well, I’m not sure what I can do, but if it has something to do with a friendship problem, you’ve come to the right place.”

“Well, maybe not that so much as a magical problem,” I said. Think. Think. I can’t say we were turned into ponies, or from another world. For all I know, that would cue in a potentially villainous Starlight that we know something we shouldn’t. And then we’ll find ourselves cutie markless and stuck in a brainwash box. Or placed under a mind control spell. Or have our memories rewritten. Honestly, I might be a little fine with the last option. But Robin on the other hand–

“Can I at least ask about the quills?” he muttered.

“Yes!” Excellent distraction until I can think of a subtle way to get more information. “Actually, Ms. Starlight, if you don’t mind, can you take a look at my friend? He kind of had a run in with some puckwudgies.”

“Sure,” answered Starlight slowly. “But did you think of going to the clinic first?”

“It’s just the first of many problems,” I said.

Starlight got up from her chair and walked around the Cutie Map. “So, where did the puckwudgies get you?”

Robin grumpily turned around.

Trixie snickered, which brought a glare from Starlight.

“What? He looks like a turkey,” the great pony said with a shrug.

“I know, right?” I answered.

“Or a Hearth’s Warming Tree!” Trixie exclaimed.

“Exactly!” I echoed.

A giggle escaped Starlight’s lips. Trixie and I burst into laughter. I wanted to be serious, but since becoming a pony, holding laughter in had become an impossible task.

“This is not amusing,” Robin grumbled, turning his head to look at us. Sunset merely gave a nervous smile.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Starlight recovered, shaking a foreleg. “Though, with so many quills, you really are better off going to the clinic.”

“Can’t you just use magic and pull them off all at once?” Robin pleaded.

“I could,” answered Glimmer. “But that would also mean I might tear up a bunch of your skin and coat. A nurse would do it more slowly, but safely.”

Robin thought for a moment. “I don’t care. Please, just take them out.”

“Are you sure?” asked Starlight.

“He’s had a really long day,” I interjected.

“It’s still morning,” said Trixie.

“Exactly.” I pretended not to notice Trixie’s perplexion.

“I’m exhausted, and I just want these out,” said Robin. “I don’t care about this body.”

“R–brother…” I said quietly. He gave me a look of disgust. He really was done.

“I mean,” he said. “That I’m okay if it leaves scars. I’ve had them for most of the night and it really hurts. Please.”

You could have just let me pull them out.

“Okay,” Starlight answered in an unsure tone. Her face crumpled into determination, and her horn glowed. Robin was engulfed in a cyan aura, and then floated into the air. And by his expression, clearly he wasn’t very comfortable about it. The quills began to shake. Robin grimaced. In a single swift moment, the rainbow colored needles flew out and fell to the floor. And yet, as Robin was lowered to the floor, he looked less pleased than before. His flank was red, speckled, and his tail looked like it was missing some hair. I might have been tempted to laugh again, but at this point I felt too concerned for him.

“You really should get somepony more specialized to look at that,” said Starlight.

“Thanks. But not right now,” said Robin with a look back to his hindquarters. And then to me, questioning.

“Trixie, right?” I asked, “So, how did you and… how did such a spectacular and grand magician such as yourself meet the guardian of friendship?” Take the bait. Come on, take the bait. Give me more information.

And so Trixie did. She puffed her chest out at the complement, and a marvelous joy came to her eyes. “Well, it certainly was quite the meeting. As I was preparing for my Twice as Great,” she swept her cape around dramatically. “...And Powerful Tour, I found Starlight in a desperate search for a friend. She came to me begging for–”

“It was at a spa,” injected Starlight. I expected her to be slightly annoyed at Trixie. But instead, she was staring at me. Discerning, calculating. “Where did you two meet?”

“We knew each other as k-k-k-foals,” I answered, fairly truthfully. “Why were you so desperate for friends that day?” The game was very nearly up. She knew I was suspicious of her. And the feeling was clearly mutual.

“To impress another friend,” Starlight said while taking a few steps towards me. “What’s a guardian of friendship?”

“Something I made up to trick you into correcting me and revealing more information,” I answered while taking my own steps forward. Even if this Starlight was evil, I liked her. “Who was this friend you were trying to impress?”

Starlight blinked at my answer. Not expecting that answer, were you?

“It was a princess,” she smirked. “She’s retired now. Odd how you seem to know so much about us. Care to explain how?”

Dang. Almost as good as I was at being evasive. Almost. Our muzzles were only a few inches from each other, both our heads held high. Her eyes were a dark blue reminiscent of the ocean. I never noticed that before.

“I know I just asked this,” I heard Trixie say. “But is something happening?”

“I have no idea,” answered Sunset.

“You’re the famous mare in Ponyville’s castle. I pay attention,” I answered.

Robin snorted. Thanks for the back up.

“Which princess?” I asked. “And why did she retire?” Say it. Say the name. What did you do to Twilight Sparkle, Glimmy?

“Celestia. After ruling for a thousand years, I think she deserves a break, don’t you?”

I blinked. “Wait. Celestia?” My mind processed. “Who’s in charge of Equestria now?”

“Twilight, the Princess of Friendship, who’s also my friend.”

Click.

I dropped to the floor and cackled.

“Will somepony please tell the Great and Powerful Trixie what is happening!”

“More like the Baffled and Clueless Trixie,” said Robin, who looked surprised to have said it.

Trixie spluttered while I continued my cackling.

“Wait, wait, wait.” I rose my hoof into the air. “Let me ask a few more things to confirm this. Who’s the headmare of the School of Friendship?”

“I am,” Starlight answered, clearly losing patience with my lack of forthrightness.

“And the current whereabouts of Queen Chrysalis?”

“Last I heard, collecting cobwebs as a statue,” answered Starlight. “Unless you know something I don’t?”

“We’re in season ten!” I finally exclaimed to Robin. “Sorry for jumping on you, but the moment I saw you,” I motioned to Starlight. “Sitting in Twilight’s chair, I thought maybe we were in some twisted alternate evil timeline or something. How long has it been since Twilight took charge?”

“Only a few moons,” answered Starlight. “Why did you think you were in an alternative timeline?” After Stalright finished the question, her expression of confusion became one of sudden understanding. “Oh. Right. I did that. But, how do you know about it?”

“And how did you know my name, or to even trust me?” Sunset asked, crossing her hooves timidly. “At first I thought it was just because everyone knows about my story, and I didn’t question it because you looked like you really needed help. But, as we were walking, I realized, when you looked at me, it was like you recognized me. You knew who I was immediately.”

“Because we did,” I answered. “R–my brother and I weren’t ponies yesterday morning. And, we weren’t even in this universe. We were more like… M-m-Ro–Brother, what’s the high school called in Equestria Girls?”

“Canterlot High,” he answered.

“Yes! Canterlot High! Yesterday, we were in a universe like that one, and were h-h-h-horse–ugh! We were creatures like that. Suddenly a portal opened up, and boom! We’re both ponies.”

“There’s another portal back to Canterlot High?” exclaimed Sunset, her eyes wide with excitement. “Where is it?”

“We’re not from Canterlot High,” Robin explained before I could. “Our world and the one you went to are different. We aren’t as colorful, or cartoony. And a few other things work differently there. And, there’s no magic there whatsoever at all.”

“Oh…” Sunset muttered. The disappointment on her face and in her voice was blatant.

“Why are you here?” I asked her. “You do live in the Canterlot High world, don’t you?”

She looked away quickly to hide it, but I still saw the tears immediately forming at my question. “No, not anymore,” she answered.

“I… why?” I asked. Guilt stung me. What had caused someone so fierce and confident as her to behave like Fluttershy? To behave like me?

After a quick motion to wipe her face, Sunset turned back to me with sharp glare. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

Now my eyes stung. “I’m sorry.” It was my turn to face away, except that meant facing everypony else in the room. I just met one of my favorite characters of all time, and I hurt her. And it was stupid and I didn’t mean to and obviously she knew that and she didn’t mean to hurt me. But the warm, quiet tears wouldn’t stop anyway.

If it weren’t for Robin, I probably would have just run away.

Author's Note:

Ever think you're being really smart about something but it turns out not so much?

Double special thanks to proofreading duo Raiss and Ashel! Double the proofreading!

Comments

[Raiss Icewind]

And there it is, the grand reveal! But how does that help get Robin home?

Also way to go, Lily, you made you made Sunset AND yourself cry, just really being great friendship material. Curious what Robin is gonna do in this situation tho.

[Lilyheart]

11889037

[Dravkwn]

You nearly had me going for a moment there with Trixie, but I knew you'd be whipping out Glimmer!

[FridayPie]

11889157
That would have suggested Lunaverse, lol

[Lilyheart]

11889157
I wasn't sure how to reply to your earlier comment without spoiling. Trixie almost didn't show up in this chapter, but then I loved the idea of her appearing just to mess with Starlight. Thanks for the comments, Dravkwn! And for your correct guess, you get a cookie!

11889424
Is that the thing the comics did where everything's reversed?

[FridayPie]

11889798
Not sure which one you mean. Where Luna was left ruling, Trixie was her student and Twilight was an odd antagonist?

[Lilyheart]

11889847
I haven't read enough of the comics to know what I mean. But what you're describing sounds about right.

[FridayPie]

11891628
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/RainbowDoubleDashsLunaverse

[Lilyheart]

11892934
Why didn't you tell me you were talking about fanfiction when I said I was talking about a comic? Apparently what I was rambling about is the Reflections universe.