Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Spike meet up to discuss what appeared after Twilight tried to cast a spell from Star Swirl, but it goes terribly wrong and a red ring appears. She has no idea what it is since nothing seems to be wrong with it no matter how many tests she does on it, it was just a normal ring but red... or could there be a darker meaning to it? Well, don't be too slow to find out.
HUGE Thank you to Rainbow Sparkle1 for bettering this story (I came up with it they made it more better) but still go check them out since they are helping me make this story aswell
Chapters (3)
Ah, shi-
I’m calling it right now based on the too slow from the description, the red ring, and the large amount of arms that came out of the ring…
Sonic.EXE
BTW, not to be rude, but this is incredibly hard to read. There’s barely any paragraph breaks for when different characters are speaking, the punctuation is almost nonexistent, and the cussing for the narration doesn’t feel necessary. Luckily, I can fix all of that! If you want I can help you edit this story and make it more appealing for future readers! What do you say?
11819022
mmmh how soo I do see the cursing thing is not really needed
11819646
I can format the story in my own style, give better grammar, and make it way easier to read. You can still write the story, I’ll just edit and fix a few things in the story and remove some things that may not be necessary. Trust me, more readers will find your story appealing if you have an editor like me to help make the story easier to read.
11821473
Very well then, but how will you be able to do it like copy the story and do it somewhere else or what?
11821954
You can DM me the original version and I'll copy and paste it into a Google doc. Once I finish editing, I'll DM you the finished product. Then you can copy and paste the edited version into the story and post it.
11822351
oh alright, you got Discord right?
Are any of the female Sonic the Hedgehog characters going to play a big role in this story?
So we don't know if Sonic.exe catches them; they instantly die with a permanent death, or every time he wins a game, he kills them and revives them to play another game over and over again. I thought he would get a little creative with the cake trick, something like this.
*pinkie eating the cake*
Sonic.exe: I see you enjoying the cake
Pinkie Pie nods her head in Improvement and does not talk with her mouth full as her friends tell her not to do every time.
Good, excellent, he said; come in has come to his voice. As he continued to speak, you know it's hard to find good ingredients these days, and who would expect a RAINBOW to have so much red in it? But that's what happens if you cheat in my games, he said in a shifting anger specifically discussed in his voice.
Before she can't say anything, there's a loud, head-splitting static noise for Split Second. When it was over, she could taste a sticky, wet gross that tasted like metal. Was it a taste that she remembered from when she was little when she accidentally cut herself it was blood, and it was in her mouth. And the fact he made a deal about Rainbow made Shivers run down her spine. What made it worse that the thing in front of her was now had it all over its gloves and body, and it was just smiling and snickering.
As Sonic.exe laughs demonically and is satisfied with what he got her to eat. He asked her a question in a mocking tone; now you know what it's like to Taste the RAINBOW. I can finally get the COTTON CANDY I ORDERED!!!!!! Attacks and lunches at Pinkie Pie at a speed she couldn't have time to register before she knew it; her life was over.
11831282
well shit... thats a very good idea thanks for the feedback
11830686
its gonna be more of a sunny day so hitch a ride and don't really pip at anything while you're on it so zipp past the izzy plants that will most likey give you a rash
Huh, I wonder who changed this to make it so much better?
Seriously though, feedback for both Roost and me is much appreciated!
11831354
The way you referenced the G5 characters was amazing! Something I never would’ve thought of.
11839128
Hey who can really tell that even after this story is over that's its the last of The Red Ring
11839125
At this point am putting that we both are making this story
11831350
Holy shit. I never even thought about that when I was editing the story. That gave me Cupcakes vibes for a second. Wish I could've added that. I definitely agree with you, that was awesome!