Just your average really picky reader...
Thousands of years ago before Discord's imprisonment, a dark mage of unknown origins was brought into the fold of Equestrians growing government. Now, Princess Luna calls for the aid of Princess Cadence in hope to return the mage to the side of harmony.
Problem is... He's kind of a jackass
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Smells like a good story so far!
My only question, is why Luna chose Cadance? The Mane 6 are more than qualified methinks. I'm not saying Cadance isn't. But the girls do have a good track record of reforming ponies.
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The answer to that lies in what Luna knows about Dusk that everypony else does not.
School of Unrelenting Force? I swear I read that somewhere already.
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The school of thought dedicated to applying all of what you are capable to solve any given problem, large or small. I believe there's a reference to the idea in A Beginners Guide to Heroism
Which is a super cool story you should totally read
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I failed to run word search properly through that fic and its sequel to find the mention of it before, I thought that my mind playing tricks on me. It is nice to see to one of my favourite fancics being referenced.
Looking forward too see this story unfold.
Will you have events presented is similiar order like shadestyle did? Ie. past and present mixed together? I wouldn't mind if you did. Just asking after I couldn't help myself but check your bookshelf after mention of guide to heroism.
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I honestly don't have a plan for how the story is going to develop (As I tend to just write what I feel the characters would do) I might do that, it sounds like a cool worldbuilding opportunity, but for the moment, I want to focus on Dusk's and Cadance's developing interactions.
You don't say?
Two chapters in one day? Nice.
He/she shift parts are confusing.
Still wondering who Dusk is, you ought make him slip bits of his personalia more often from his mask. Nuh "he is unreadable" argument will get stale fast and dropping one large life story bomb at once will be boring. There is middle ground there and you would be wasting opportunity to have Cadence piece out mc's history through the span of multiple chapters otherwise.
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I'm glad you think so on all fronts. Immortals are hard to write, because they tend to be equally complex and simple.
'Dusk' is playing a game, and playing for keeps. Cadance has her work cut out for her if she wants to stop him with friendship.
What a scheming bastard he is, to play sentences.
A reference it might be. Groundbreaking magic, a dark spell that regrows lost tissue and will save and improve lives of thousands, the properties of it do not seem to be unique.
Like he will ever answer her question and not go around it.
Dusk teaches Cadence a lesson only to apply it to her the next second without her fully calling out him. Will Cadence ever stop being played? Dusk can't be alays omnipotent and make no mistakes.
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Dusk actually employs the unique skill of 'covering your ass'
Several mistakes have been made. Dusk is always just quick on the uptake to fix them or make them seem intentional. I'm sure you can pick out some of those moments
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What I really meant to say was lost in my mind during conversion of thoughts into sentences. Oops.
Dusk makes mistakes and faces them all head on, I see no problem with that. The problem in my eyes is his intensity? He is constant, always going somewhere. He never wanders aimlessly, gets tired or lost. That is the picture of him I get from this story so far. For a ex-mortal with millenium long milage on his psyche who even is a practitioner of beforementioned school of thought one still would expect Shade to take 1 step back after taking, 3, 7 or 17 steps forward in his path for once.
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Can't stop won't stop
Great chapter as always! Keep it up!
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Awww, thanks for making my day :D
Absolutely enjoying the hell out of this fic. The humor between the characters is hilarious, and the story keeps me dialed in. Looking forward to the next chapter!
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Glad you're enjoying :D