We Don't Have Time for a Slow Burn Romance!

by RunicTreetops

The Part Where They Live Happily Ever After

"Hey, Nonny?"

"Y-yeah?"

"You can let go of me now."

You open your eyes. There isn't much light around you anymore. In fact, it seems rather dark. The scent of paper and dust fills your nostrils as you look down at Moondancer, who you are still clutching tightly to your chest. You promptly let go of her and stand back up.

"Sorry."

"No no, you're fine. Just... another time." Your marefriend blushes and looks away from you before excitedly gasping. "We're back!"

"We are?"

Your eyes slowly adjust to the new level of visibility. Sure enough, you seem to be surrounded by the disorganized mess that is Moondancer's living room, broken shelf and all. The manga that you had been sucked into lies dormant at your feet, and you take a nervous step back. You know that it supposedly only works once per person/pony, but you don't want to risk it.

"Looks like reaching the end of the manga let us out. To my knowledge, it isn't supposed to be that jarring or terrifying, though."

You let out a deep breath, relishing in the fact that you're back home one way or another.

"Either way, we made it out. Mission accomplished, I'd say."

"Not yet, Nonny! We still have to make it to the Princess Procession!"

"Right! What time is it?!"

Moondancer uses her magic to move a stack of books near a wall, revealing a clock hanging on said wall behind them.

"We've only got five minutes!"

"Let's move!"

Without hesitation, you book it out of Moondancer's humble abode. Moondancer looks around in confusion for a moment, but she quickly starts following your lead as you head down the street and begin to weave through a number of alleyways.

"I didn't know you were this well-informed about the layout of Canterlot!"

"I wasn't until I started getting ready for the procession! I wanted to find a route that avoided all of the crowds!"

"Why, for instances like this?!"

"No, because I wanted to make sure you were as comfortable as possible!"

"Nonny, if we weren't sprinting for our lives right now, I'd probably swoon."

"Aw, thanks!"

The two of you finally emerge onto a street that is full of ponies. However, that crowd is about fifty feet away from you. There is a clear roadblock between you and them, that roadblock being a massive white stage that has been set up in the middle of the street. Upon that stage, Princess Celestia stands perfectly still, almost like a statue, in a ridiculous pose. Meanwhile, you watch as Princess Cadance flies onto the stage as well, striking an equally silly pose right next to her. Seeing as the two of you are behind the stage, you get a good look at the rest of the procession. Twilight and Luna are rapidly approaching, and once all four princesses are posing on stage, that will be the signal for you and Moondancer to play your part. Mess it up, and who knows what might happen? Luna could send you to the moon! Celestia could send you to the sun! Cadance could... you don't know, make the two of you break up or something? But worst of all would be Twilight. Messing up here could be the end of everything you hold dear. Your very relationship with Moondancer might hang in the balance. Because if you upset Twilight... she'll tease you about it.

Oh, the horror!

"Alright Nonny, I'm gonna be honest: I'm not entirely sure what it is we have to do! I didn't have time to review my book on the subject because of the manga, and we've been so focused on getting out that I never thought to ask!"

You look over at the procession. Luna is flying up onto the stage now. You have mere seconds before Twilight lands on the stage as well. From seemingly nowhere, you produce two baseball bats and toss one to Moondancer, who catches it with her magic.

"You've got Cadance duty!"

"I've... WHAT?!"

"Just follow my lead! Rainbow Dash and Applejack will be doing the same thing from the front! It's time to make up for your loss at the beach earlier!"

"What are you talking about?!"

You see Twilight take her position on the stage. With that, all four princesses are lined up in ridiculous poses, each standing eerily still. The upbeat, dramatic music reaches a climax. You look to Moondancer and nod before running up to the stage from behind. Moondancer gasps and follows you. You slow your pace just enough to ensure that you and Moondancer are moving at the same speed. Looking ahead, you can see Dash and AJ doing the same from the front, the crowd having dispersed just enough to allow them to get through.

Finally, all four of you reach the stage at the same time. As you do so, you leap into the air, and a nervous Moondancer follows suit. The music suddenly cuts out, and you focus on your target. After raising the bat above you and winding up, you bring it crashing back down onto Twilight's head before you reach the ground. A terrified Moondancer winces as she does the same to Cadance. Meanwhile, Applejack smashes her bat into Celestia, while Rainbow Dash makes contact with Luna. You all hit the ground in unison. All four of your baseball bats broke upon impact with the alicorns' heads, and to the shock of the crowd, none of them even flinched. You take a knee to bow before the princesses, and Moondancer does the same upon seeing you do so along with AJ and Dash. After a moment, the four princesses finally break their stupid stances and take a collective bow, causing all of Canterlot to erupt into a collective roar of cheers. From the ground, Moondancer looks at you with confusion. All you can do is smile back at her and shrug.

You made it.

---

You collapse onto Moondancer's sofa, and she unabashedly throws herself on top of you. Both of you close your eyes and allow your bodies to go limp. After everything you experienced today, you're more exhausted than you've ever been before. You both let out a sigh of relief as you relish the feeling of your stresses finally melting away.

"What was that all about anyway, Nonny?" Her voice is a quiet, almost pouty mumble. It's the cutest darn thing you've ever heard.

"I don't understand it at all, to be honest. Ancient Equestrian traditions are super weird. I guess it's supposed to be a display of power or something?"

"Ugh. I hate public events."

"I know you do, Moonie. Still, you've been living in Canterlot your whole life. I'm amazed you didn't know what the finale of the procession was."

"I've never been."

"Never?"

"My parents always had to work during it, so I was left to study on my own instead. Then, when I was an adult, I chose to study on my own instead."

"Hah. Yeah, that sounds like you. Would you consider going now?"

Moondancer removes her glasses and gently places them on a nearby coffee table (that is, of course, covered in books) before burying her face into your neck.

"Nope."

"Not even just as a spectator?"

"Well... I suppose if you were with me, it might not be so bad."

"Hmhm, I'm so flattered."

"Oh, shut up."

She squeezes you tightly, which gets a chuckle out of you. You wrap your arms around her and gently scritch the back of her head, causing her ears to go all floppy. It's adorable.

"So, what do you want to do now that we've got everything taken care of?"

"Nonny, I just want to take a nap right now. So, uh, don't move. I'm comfy."

"Haha! Your wish is my command."

"...When we wake up, can we get something to eat, too? I miss eating food that's actually real."

"Sure. What are you feeling?"

"Some oranges, at least."

"You've been thinking about that ever since we got under the kotatsu, haven't you?"

"Maybe."

Moondancer's words have been becoming gradually more quiet as your conversation has gone on. You open your mouth to speak again, but you stop yourself when you hear a gentle snore leave her mouth. Smiling to yourself, you simply lay back, hold your marefriend tight, and allow yourself to slowly succumb to the sweet temptation of sleep.

Because now, you have all the time in the world.

---

Inside Canterlot Castle, Princess Cadance and Princess Twilight Sparkle rub their poor, aching heads.

"Hey, Twilight?"

"Y-yeah? What is it?"

"Next year... just let me pick the bat-bearers, okay?"

Twilight winces as Celestia places an ice pack on her head while Luna does the same for Cadance. Meanwhile, the sisters are doing their best to ignore the throbbing pain in their own heads.

"Good idea. I'll just tell Anon and Moondancer to read some manga instead or something. I'm sure they'd like that."

And as the four aching princesses agree to a new course of action for next year, the Princess Procession officially comes to a close.

Author's Note:

And that's it! I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing it!

As always, I appreciate any and all feedback!

Comments

[Real Solaris]

That finale was so out of left field and I’m all for it

[Moonlight Tome]

"Good idea. I'll just tell Anon and Moondancer to read some manga instead or something. I'm sure they'd like that."

HA!

[Born-From-Black-Lightnin]

11701273
Thanks

[RavenDash2006]

That. Was. Amazing! I loved it.

[Caladis]

Princess Piñata.

[Glutbier]

Wer hat sich diese Tradition ausgedacht! HA HA

[Solon75]

11701512
I couldn't agree more. It was a finale I was not expecting, that's for sure. I especially loved the ending.

[Solon75]

At last, the adventure comes to an end.

This was such a great read. I have to admit that the ending made me smile despite it not being what I was expecting to happen.

Mess it up, and who knows what might happen? Luna could send you to the moon! Celestia could send you to the sun! Cadance could... you don't know, make the two of you break up or something? But worst of all would be Twilight. Messing up here could be the end of everything you hold dear. Your very relationship with Moondancer might hang in the balance. Because if you upset Twilight... she'll tease you about it.

Looks like Anon is a bit like Twilight when it comes to overreacting during stressful moments.

"Good idea. I'll just tell Anon and Moondancer to read some manga instead or something. I'm sure they'd like that."

If only you knew Twilight. If only you knew.

[emerald_shine]

SEQUEL!!!!!!!

[Aiwhisper]

11708075
Fair, dripping wet fur might look better or something.

[Wishesshecouldwritegood]

11707931
Sorry if this is a double post. I sent my original post in school with its trash Wi-Fi and I can’t find the reply, so I’m assuming it didn’t go through or there was some error. I have watched some Pokémon, and I’ve watched reactions to Studio Ghibli, but I don’t see them as anime compared to what people do nowadays like Naruto, Demonslayer and a ton of others I don’t know.

[DraquineWarrior]

11708079
You've seen em with wet manes, right?

[Hamburgertime]

It would be hilarious if the three Princesses hit by ponies didnt get hurt, but Anon just straight up vaporizes Cadances head like the watermelon.

Just me?

[joElecTeen]

Check it out

[Troyjan]

I personally don't enjoy any Human in Equestria stories, as I feel it simply breaks the immersion and established lore of the fictional fantasy setting. For this reason, I seldom read any of the Anon stories I come across. Whenever I do decide to read stories that include Anon, I like to just imagine Anon not as person, but as a generic earth pony stallion with green and black hair, and that usually works. But even then, I still don't like stories featuring Anon for other reasons. Stories where Anon simply gets horny, bothers the main characters, or just complains about how weird life in Equestria is, can be funny for a short while but gets boring quickly. Additionally, any of the stories that involve Anon's romantic interactions with other mares, whether it be romance or comedic, feel unenjoyable or even sloppy. In such stories, the character that Anon would fill never seems to alter much from its presumed traits from its caricature, or ever seem to develop at all. And stories that even humor the silly idea that Anon and one of the alicorn princesses would be a couple, are usually the worst about this.

However, this story, along with the story that this one is a prequel of titled "Look I Have Extremely High Standards", are distinct exceptions in my opinion. For the first time, I actually enjoyed reading about the generic caricature that is Anon. While this version of Anon doesn't develop much as character in either of these stories, tiny bits of his existing character are revealed throughout his developing relationship with Moondancer. Anon's and Moondancer's casually romantic relationship felt natural. I could genuinely understand these characters having chemistry for each other in their given circumstances. Even despite barely knowing anything about manga or other forms of Japanese media, it was still fun imagining Anon and Moondancer understand and bypass the manifestation of the several story telling tropes that they encountered. Perhaps this just happens to be first well written Anon fanfic that happens to match my tastes in short stories, but this is the first one that I really enjoyed reading.