• Member Since 26th May, 2023
  • offline last seen Aug 2nd, 2023

cozystar


E

Starlight Glimmer knows what she has to do. A filly stuck in a stone statue for eternity can’t be a just punishment, not when she herself has been redeemed and shown the magic of friendship. Can Starlight Glimmer convince the Council of Friendship to free Cozy Glow?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 31 )

Not bad at all. It could use a quick editorial pass, especially in the preface (marionette), but it flows well. Everyone's in character and the dialogue's on point. Nice little snack, just needs a tiny bit of cleaning up :twilightsmile:

Sorry; but Cozy Glow’s not a victim. She knew exactly what she was doing and knew the basics of friendship enough to be Twilight’s right hoof pony. There’s no excuse for what she did. At least Starlight has plausible deniability in her case and the fact that she was going loopy.

Honestly, I’m glad someone brought this up, because them sending cozy glow to tartarus and the turning her to stone didn’t sit right with me. What makes cozy glow different from sunset shimmer or even starlight glimmer?

Hm... Hmm... Hmmm...

Not half-bad. Two things though. First, please make sure the words you are using are the actual words you intend. I'm talking about that opening paragraph.

She thought forcing ponies into her little town would solve the hole in her heart.

Marionette friends to play with for the rest of time.

These could have been seen on an editing pass, so maybe make sure to go over it one last time before publishing.

Second, make sure the tense you use is consistent. Most authors use past tense. For a decent portion you use present tense, but not for the entire story. While it isn't improper to use present tense, it certainly has more caveats to it than past tense does. Consistency is very important in keeping the quality of your writing, so make sure to commit one way or another.

Other than that, I enjoyed the story! A little rushed at the end, but a great first step!

This could go places. A few spelling errors notwithstanding. It's an interesting set-up for a fic.

Now for the payoff... waiting for more already. :rainbowdetermined2:


11645239
Do you think they could be a... Miraculous Ladybug fan?

Was there ever anything in canon that at least tried to exonerate cozy glow or was she just a sociopath?
StarLight had been hurt and she sought to stop the thing that she shought had hurt her from hurtin others.
That is at least somewhat of an understandable reason for doing what she did to an extent.

Cozy Glow?
Just . . "Me having power is not enough, everybody else should have no power!"

Cozy Glow may have gotten farther, but she’s just a filly! A filly,”

Cozy being a filly just makes her actions worse. What kind of kid has such twisted thoughts, let alone the desire and the will to act upon them?

11645634
I’m pretty sure everyone has twisted thoughts, but you’re right about the latter.

Now if they executed Discord, Novo, Dr Caballeron, and Ahuizotl THAT would be justice. Or even lecture Celestia about how badly she's failed at everything to a point where she turned Luna into Nightmare Moon.

11645947
Excuse me? Novo had every right to cast out the Mane Six after Twilight was caught trying to steal the Pearl of Transformation.

And Ahuitzotl was a guardian. While his methods were extreme, he was still acting to protect the artifacts he was charged with guarding.

Even Caballeron didn't do anything bad enough to deserve "execution". And you seem to be forgetting that Discord was reformed.

11645947
How is Queen Novo a villain?

Very exited for the Starlight's interactions with Cozy. Equestria's most powerful unicorn and Tatarus' youngest prisoner—wonder how they'll get along!

Comment posted by Ellington deleted Jul 22nd, 2023
Comment posted by Ellington deleted Jul 22nd, 2023

11645318
Try telling that to 99.999% of the fandom though. They don't care.

Interesting start. Smart and brave of Starlight to realize how ridiculous, unfair and unnecessarily cruel it was, what they did to that poor filly. I do hope you plan on continuing this. I would be happy to read it.

“We gave her that chance, Starlight Glimmer. She studied at my School of Friendship under all our pedagogy. She had many opportunities to make friends, and she turned her back on all of Equestria instead!”

Starlight had many opportunities to make friends. She had a loving father and a devoted group of ponies, but she instead chose to lie to them. Her being in a school is hardly a reason to deny her a second chance. There's also Discord's betrayal with Tirek.

“If we let her loose, she could destroy us all.”

Like Discord?

11645535
If you mean something like a backstory then no.

It's a good start! I'm excited to see how Starlight could help Cozy Glow

11645239
Thank you! In the future I’m definitely going to be more careful. I got so anxious about posting it I didn’t edit as much as I normally do. Glad you liked it :heart:

11645318
That’s perfectly fair that you see her that way, but in my mind she’s a filly and I think we didn’t get an explanation for what she did because it was so close to the show’s end. She’s still responsible for her actions! But maybe she can be taught better, like Starlight and Discord and the changelings

11645325
I agree! I think it’s cause the show ended so soon after. Glad you enjoyed it

11645410
Thanks for taking the time to give constructive criticism!! I’m glad you still enjoyed the story despite the errors. In the future I’m gonna be more careful, I just got anxious. Thanks for reading!!

11645535
I don’t believe there was anything in the canon (though sending a filly to Tartarus and giving her more bad influences probably did not help), and the show did end shortly after and we never got her backstory like we did for Starlight Glimmer. I think especially since she was a filly it’s interesting to consider why she would have acted that way even if the show didn’t cover it. The show did have the episode where cozy glow purposely failed a test because she wanted the cutie mark crusaders to go to the school. I don’t know why she did that, and not knowing why is a big part of cozy glow’s appeal for me. Good question to ask!

11645634
Thats exactly it though! She’s a filly, what could have made her like that? It’s totally fair that you see her actions as worse because of that, for me though it makes me wonder how she became like that and if she could be helped. I think cozy glow’s such an interesting character, whether you take her as evil or as redeemable

11646693
Cozy Glow is still responsible for her actions, but I think it’s interesting in a show about befriending the villains that it’s never explored why cozy glow does what she does. Maybe she’s just evil! Maybe there’s more to it though. However you interpret it I think it’s fun, I just personally prefer the idea that she can be redeemed and find a family

11650645
In fairness, they din't befriend every villain. Chrysalis, Sombra, Tirek, Flim and Flam, the Sirens...

11651064
Wait, did they ever give sombra and tirek a chance?

11648353
I really hope the others get called out.

A bit short, but I like it so far. I hope you continue this in some way.

11651064
Honestly flim and and flam really got shafted On one hoof I see what they were going for, the conglomerate coming in and putting a local family business out of business but on the other hoof the apples only won bc they had so many other ponies helping them, and it’s not like flim and flam were syster’s either they firmly delivered on the product they promised up until the point where would lose bc of the apples aforementioned excess of pony help (which I wouldn’t technically call cheating but.....) there was no reason why there couldn’t be two cider making places in ponyville, but what do y’all think bc I think they got a pretty raw deal

Far too many people here who don't seem to understand that no matter what the crime is, you do not give a punishment worse than the death penalty to a child. Sure, imprison her for life for all I care. She deserves that much. But the moment you turn a normal pony to stone, You've gone from punishment to torture. That is a punishment that should only be reserved for immortal or near immortal beings.

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