• Member Since 20th Jan, 2021
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PegPony


I like writing stories but I'm also a kinky fetishistic loser, that's all you need to know really.

Comments ( 6 )

Interesting take on buttonceat

Shame she can't get knocked up

Rare to see buttoncest with rape

What the fuck Luna?
"Oh she's definatly going to rape him, I could stop this now, before she goes too far, but... it's late, I'll deal with it tomorrow."

I'm not going to upvote this.

I realize that this is fetishistic fictional literature about cartoon ponies and no one was actually hurt and the author was quite likely just exploring their own sexual fantasy (which there's nothing wrong with that as long as it remains within the realm of fiction).

But please consider this constructive criticism - I don't personally feel like Luna, a pony in a position of power that could have easily summoned some guards before it was too late, would simply shrug her shoulders and say "oh well, there's nothing I can do about it." Aside from saying "I know your going to rape your son, and I've decided not to do any thing about it." There was no reason for luna to even be a part of the story.

And Button Mash, (again I remind myself that this is purely a work of fiction) rape victims don't just feel indifferent, I mean I'm no expert on the topic and I don't pretend to be either, but I'm pretty sure they don't just shrug their shoulders and say "Well i guess this is my life now" maybe they hate it and want it to end, or maybe the secretly enjoy it, like some kind of Stockholm syndrome kinda thing, but the entire world is burning around him and he's like "meh... this is fine."

I don't like sounding like an asshole, and I'm not overly familiar with your work, but I felt like you might benefit as a writer from my thoughts.

11598540
You are completely within your rights to not up vote this story and I am perfectly fine with constructive criticism, you are just offering advice.

You're right. Luna did not need to make an appearance in this story and I got her character completely wrong, it is most likely that she would have intervened rather than shrugged it off.

Also, with Button Mash, you are equally correct. He should have either enjoyed it or explicitly rejected it rather than seeming indifferent about the situation.

I tried to write in a different style and I've paid the price for my experimentation in regards to constructing a cohesive and coherent narrative. You are not an ass hole for pointing that out, in fact, I'd like to say thank you. I will try to do better.

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