When Visits Go Wrong

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Twilight gets a strange letter from the mail… and it’s from Moondancer, apparently she wants to hang out with the rest of our friends! It can’t be too bad…it’s just a… silly invitation, what could go wrong..!
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Stuff I used to make the cover!
Twilight Vector!
https://derpibooru.org/images/2638053?q=canterlot%2C+background+

Background!
https://derpibooru.org/images/1285588?q=amending+fences%2C+vector%2C+sad%2C+twilight+sparkle+

Chapters (2)

A Sudden Invitation · 18th Jan 2023 · 1,082 words
1,082
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Meeting Up With Familar Faces · 23rd Jan 2023 · 1,086 words
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Comments ( 5 )

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Thyrrnatf

Thyrrnatf #1 · Jan 19th, 2023 · 1 · · A Sudden Invitation ·

‘I was wondering if You could hang out with me and the rest of our friends for a few days. We were just gonna go check out a few places and I thought it would be great if you came, we were thinking about going tomorrow… only if you want to, though.’

i mean unless letters got same day delivery from Cantalot to Ponyville then it is very risky hoping that letter will be there with time enough for Twilight to plan and leave the day after she gets the letter, plus Twilight is a Princess so she does have some duties to from time to time have her drop everything for a couple of days with out warning would properly stress Twilight out a little, properly have the meeting be a week out so that Twilight can write back to Moondancer and tell her that she will be coming and so that Twilight can plan a trip to Cantalot.

“If you feel uncomfortable being around her just send a letter saying no, it's your choice.” Spike would add.

with Moondancer asking Twilight to show up the day after she gets the letter, Twilight would have to send a ASAP and hope that it will be there tomorrow or later in the day as it is only 8AM, and with it only being 8AM in the morning Moondancer most have send it yesterday and so tomorrow is today, which is would mean that Twilight is late

but intersting start looking forward to more

Starswirl the Beardless

Starswirl the Beardless #2 · Jan 20th, 2023 · 1 · · A Sudden Invitation ·

This is a cute story so far, and a good effort for a first story, but I do see quite a few problems with it. You have a significant number of mechanical errors (grammar, punctuation, etc) and some awkward phrasing that are very distracting. If you cleaned that stuff up, I think this story would be a lot better.

Cute-Muffins

Cute-Muffins #3 · Jan 21st, 2023 · · · A Sudden Invitation ·

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Nice to know that you like it! if you can, could you point out some of the stuff you mentioned, any points in the story you think I should improve on? so advice would be appreciated!