• Member Since 30th Dec, 2020
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

CharmingQuil


Sequels1

Comments ( 12 )

This is slut-shaming.

I could get behind the premise of Cadence, on her own, independently feeling bad that Shining never got to have a wild fun time in college like she did and wanting to get him some side action. I could understand Shining merely being jealous of her level of experience and Cadence responding with suggestions of extra fun. And I could even theoretically understand, given the short description, a scenario where maybe she got drunk and confessed to an actual affair and wants to make THAT up to him.

But the idea that Cadence somehow wronged Shining, not by cheating on him but simply by being sexually active with 'too many guys' well before they dated, is an ugly angle. To have Shining be actively upset and hurt and offended by it and make Cadence feel bad for her past experiences is the kind of red flag that ends relationships. To present that as a fun sexy premise for a story is in bad taste.

I would strongly suggest reworking this prologue into something less steeped in the idea that women being sexually active is shameful.

Unless your angle is specifically to explore that as a concept, I suppose, but I doubt that's what this story is going for.

--CG

11371365
You know i do think this would be an interesting idea actually, especially looking at character development if someone actually works on it more, I think the prologue works out. but I imagine a way to go is to have it where Cadence begins to get jealous of some of the women SHining sleeps with, while attractive, and its just sex. She feels jealous that he's sleeping with so many women.
Maybe SHining realizes he's in the wrong and learns its not a big thing. Then forgives his wife as he thinks about it and grows more, knowing that they are really meant for each other.
What matters more that the two grow from this point, and heck I could see Cadence feeling bad, she did hurt her husband. didn't think it was as important. Though learning it was a big deal as they explore their feelings and just become better for it. plus who knows if they life what they're doing they become swingers.

I'm looking forward to seeing how this story goes and how they grow as people. I give this premise a 3/5 and have to see how it continues before I give it a full rating.

11371365
The premise is just that he didn't do any of that, and I was vague about what she did to leave it open for later. Slut shamming sounds so harsh. This is just the lead up to some wild and kinky fun, not to be taken too seriously.

But it seemed to grab people's attention which is exactly what it was supposed to do.

Comment posted by CarcinoGeneticist deleted Sep 22nd, 2022

The problem is that Shining comes off as a jealous, possessive, and, yes, slut shaming prick. So the reader has no reason to want Shining to have these kinky fun good times. And judging by the title and tags, Cadence's solution to her having sex before she dated him is to let him fuck other people now, which is bonkers.

No idea why people are treating this as affront to their morals. It's a damn porn fic on fimfiction ffs, let the man do as he wishes.

(Also just my opinion, but disliking a fic and killing the motivation of the author because you feel dont agree with a CHARACTER in THEIR story is just an all-round piece of shit thing to do.)

11371723
I feel that. I wrote a foalcon story on a dare and it very well may the most hated story on the site but then people also down voted a normal story i wrote. I don't even think they read it.

This story has a few errors of spelling, missing some capitalization, but it's still a better story than mine. I'm interested to see where this goes

11371723
The reason this story is getting so many downvotes is because it leans far too heavily on telling rather than showing. We're not allowed to see the journey along the way of the story, we're just hit with the highlights of what happened. We don't see Cadance getting wasted and letting loose the tales of her youth, or how it's impacting Shining about each new lover he's finding out about. It's more a synopsis than an actual story.

11373724
I see the first chapter as more of a prologue. It has a decent foundation... maybe not a good one, but decent. I'm still hoping he gets the next chapter out. I really want to see how he envisioned this.

11371365

This is slut-shaming.

And?

So what if it is?

Plenty of folks get shamed every single day for doing something they don't see a problem with, but other people do.

Most recently it's the trend of shaming people for losing weight and accusing them of being fatphobic, even though being fat isn't a healthy lifestyle to begin with.

Or accusing someone of being a "proshipper" because two fictional characters they choose to ship together is somehow considered "problematic" as if it had a real-world impact.

And that doesn't even begin to get into companies like Disney and Amazon trying to shame their own customers for not liking Rings of Power or She-Hulk.

why should sluts be exempt from shaming when everyone else is considered fair game for a variety of reasons?

Shouldn't you change this to complete?

Doesn't seem like the healthiest relationship, but I'm going to reqd the sequels to see, because it seems like they came up with a way to deal with it.

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