One colt is happy that he finally obtained his cutie mark. Naturally, he wants to tell all his friends about it. However, his attitude soon begins to worsen as he starts to act more prideful and arrogant over his new mark. With his social life in jeopardy, will three certain fillies teach him some humility and help him come to his senses?
Page generated in 0.06 seconds
Total duration
560 users online
1,210,587 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This is pretty good, I'm giving you six stars for doing a good. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
11367102
Thanks
11367231
You're welcome
I feel like this could have been a pretty good story, but your execution had some serious problems. This story was too fast-paced for everything it was trying to do. You relied on simple, utilitarian prose to move things along quickly, but that just ended up making this read like a children's book in some places. The characterization of your main character feels one-dimensional and lacking in justification, not to mention that fact that he doesn't even have a name. Altogether, this feels like more of an outline for a story than a finished product.
11484380
Not too proud of this one either, tbh. Agree with everything you said. Second chapter was rushed, no name was given to the protagonist, and the writing was all over the place. Didn’t feel like everyone had a purpose.