• Member Since 31st Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Final_Draft


Comments ( 10 )

I'm pretty sure the Derpi ID tag for the cover should be 2916866.

11809022
Lol, I'm not sure how I got the wrong number, but it's fixed now, thank you!

Fantastic work, very hot and I enjoyed the characterization of Sweetie and Button. I'd honestly love more in this story, see the reaction of Button, that kind of deal.

Might be worth splitting into chapters. 27,000 words is... intimidating.

11809161
Thank you kindly! There will be more to come, for sure. I just prefer separated stories.


11809246
Thank you for the input! I've always read much longer chapters, so that didn't even occur to me. I'll try to remember spacing the longer entries out a bit more. Out of curiosity, what is a "decent" threshold? 8 to 10 thousand and then new chapter?

11809258
That's the upper end, I'd say. I'd even suggest 5k, if you can find logical break points.

Ehhhh... disappointed. Over 20k word-long story and 90% of it is just Sweetie Belle fucking herself with inner Rarity (who's not even included in tags).

We really can't get a normal SweetieMash clop these days, can't we?

Downvote for misleading tags and wasting my time.

Holy crap, that was probably the greatest "self-bondage gone wrong" story I've ever come across! The previous one you wrote was already really good (I can't fathom how I didn't read it earlier), but this one... *chef's kiss*

While I agree with PiMan that the length might've warranted a multi-chapter approach, this is the only bit of criticism I can think of for this otherwise flawless read.

Beside that, every part of it — Sweetie going out in public wearing hidden bondage under her clothes, the setup for her self-bondage session and her imaginary roleplay with Rarity as she puts more and more restraints on (that gag, OMG...), the realization that something went wrong (I admit I was confused at first when it appeared that nearly three hours had gone by with Sweetie only being denied twice in the interval :unsuresweetie:, then I was delighted when she figured out how her failsafe... failed) and the implications of being left in her predicament for a truly indefinite amount of time, the eventual resolution (I absolutely loved that fakeout when she gets shocked in the ears instead of the horn) and ensuing aftercare, and even her wholesome romantic moments with Button — was nothing short of a treat.

I dearly hope there'll someday be a third installment in which Sweetie will finally ask Button to join in her games, because I'm sure I can't be the only one who'd read the shit out of that.

11809351
Living up to your name, I see.
If you haven't read the previous story (because it has the same "misleading" tags, so really if this story wasn't what you expected, that's on you), you completely missing the point of this one fails to surprise me.
(Also, the reason inner Rarity — who's only "present" during a third of the fic, not "90%" as you say — isn't tagged is because she only exists in Sweetie's mind, duh!)

11810292
It's weird, because I thought I responded to your comment, yet here we are! So I apologize for that! :twilightsheepish:

Thank you so much for the kind words! They help me a lot as far as confidence goes. I also appreciate both forms of criticism; negatives and positives. I agree with PiMan as well about chapter length. It is a sizable chunk to digest, so I will try and keep that in mind for long chapters in the future.

I am planning a third, though obviously I don't know when. I have ideas, I just need to decide/plan on execution. Though I would ask one thing in your opinions; the next chapter being, would it bog down the overall story to have another scenario, or would it be more desirable to get on with the SweetieMash stuff, rather than just another bondage scenario? I ask because that's one of the things I am a bit hung up on and wouldn't mind some input.

Also I'm guessing Mr. Demander here has a reputation for unfair/unreasonable comments... I certain see that from some of the examples I've seen, not to mention the number of downvotes.

11864463
Personally, I wouldn't mind another scenario, but like I previously said, it'd be great if the SweetieMash relationship eventually reaches the stage where Button becomes actively involved with Sweetie's games, so I'm trusting you on whatever pace you choose for that.

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