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The Badfic Bin1,021 stories ·367 members

Blue Moon?

Source

Rainbow Dash meets an unexpected but not unwelcome visitor, but things don't go as planned. Is this what Rainbow Dash wants? Is this a blue moon for her? And how will the visitor be treated? We will see.

Proofread by HylianMadness

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 2 )

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ToonKriticY2K

ToonKriticY2K #1 · Sep 21st, 2012 · · ·

Good day good sir, just dropping by to give ya a little review. COMMENCE!

I don't see why this story got so many dislikes, it's not too bad. Minus the tiny grammatical errors you painted a good picture that was easy to follow and didn't mislead.

Drunk Dashie is best Dashie as they say. You got the attitude for her down just right, the attitude we'd see from her in the TV series. She always struck me as the one who would go straight for the bottle anyway!

For Fluttershy, you caught her personality down to a T though at the end she sort of faltered into a different direction. I'm guessing that's from the potion.

And for Firebolt, maybe you could have given him some more depth to his personality? Is he a player or...? I couldn't really tell.

Overall, goo job on this! The doctor approoves!

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