Now with a full-ish belly, we are once again wandering the endless halls of this place. There seems to be barely any variation in the architecture we pass and I’m starting to get a little bored. How big even is this place? I just cannot see how these ponies can navigate their way around somewhere like this. It’s especially boring because there’s no windows to look out of. At least it seems ventilated well enough, neither too hot nor too cold, not that I see any vents or feel any breeze. I guess it could have something to do with these massive corridors and cold marble they’ve used.
After passing through countless hallways and down at least another two floors, I finally get a whiff of fresh air. I can see sunlight streaming through a set of open doors, directly ahead of us. I pick up my pace, invigorated by the promise of something to break the endless monotony. And then I stumble, falling flat on the floor. My wing covers lift off my back, then crumple against the base of my neck. I wasn’t even going that fast, yet I still managed to trip over my hooves. I suppose this is a new body, but I was walking so well…
“Jonathan! Are you alright?”
Snow Blossom comes rushing up to me. The guards standing either side of the exit door also step forwards. Luckily, there were no other ponies in the area to see me fall, or my wings uncovered. As expected, neither the guards, nor Snow Blossom make any comment on them, although I do notice one of the guards sneaking a quick, curious glance that way.
“Don’t worry Snow, I’m fine.”
I make to stand, but Snow beats me to it with her unicorn pony magic, lifting me quickly to my now-slightly-sore feet. I make no comment, mildly annoyed at the act. Of course, there is still the matter of my wings. Twisting my head to face my back, I contemplate how best to cover them. The blanket is suddenly illuminated in that familiar faint green aura and pulls them into position. I glance over at Snow Blossom who is now smiling nervously at me. I allow myself a small smile in return.
“Thank you, Snow Blossom.”
Keen to put that incident behind us, I turn back to the waiting exit and resume my walking, albeit at a slower pace. The door guards quickly return to their posts and salute us as we pass. The guard trailing us comes up closer, taking up position beside me. Stepping out into the warm sunlight, I take in our new location. Unfortunately, it appears that we’re still above ground level, but the outdoor walkway is still a nice break from the maze-like interior of the building we just left.
I veer over to the edge of the path and stop to peer over the wall. I am once again met with a spectacular view from the sky to the horizon. Looking down, we are much closer to the courtyard grounds, maybe about one floor above ground level. The space below appears to be some kind of training ground. Several large dirt patches are spread out across the field, separated by hedge walls; each one for a different activity. I can see crates holding different practice equipment scattered around. In one patch, I can even see some guards doing guard training with wooden swords; I’m impressed with how well they can manipulate them with their mouths.
Beyond the running track, the land becomes quite open, with patches of flowers and the occasional statue; and beyond that, the ground falls away to reveal the open sky. In the distance, I can just make out the form of a little town on the border of a darkened forest. Turning my head slightly, I notice a glimmer of light coming from that town. There’s something large and reflective down there, but the glare it gives off is too bright to see past.
I slowly make my way along, observing the pony guards practicing their guard stuff. Soon, the path bends sharply left and I get a new view to marvel at. From here, I can see a large wall and gatehouse, which is currently locked with a portcullis. And beyond that, is the rest of the city: a mismatch of strange buildings, arches, towers and bridges. So does this mean that I’m in the castle? I guess that explains all the guards. But… isn’t this also where the two big alicorns live? Well, no point trying to escape now, they likely already know I’m here and there is no way I would get past the guards. I don’t really have anywhere else to go regardless and I doubt this land’s rulers would let a random alicorn roam free unchecked. Still, I’d rather not hang around here any longer than I have to.
But now, my attention is brought back by the new set of stairs. And yes, I know that I’ve gone down quite a few stairs already on my way here, but these ones are different. You see, the stairs inside were quite wide and shallow, barely a problem for me. But these stairs, they are steep and narrow!
Coming up right to the edge, my head reaches far over the sudden drop. It’d be a long fall if I misstepped now. Tentatively, I bring one hoof out and down onto the first step. But I have to bend my other foreleg to do so. I bring my other hoof down. One step down, however-many-more-steps-this-staircase-has-left to go. Shuffling forwards, I begin with the next step. Having to bend my forelegs again while already down one step brings me to a near 45˚ angle.
Whilst considering how next to proceed, Snow Blossom comes trotting down beside me. I glance over to her to see how she can manage it with such ease. Okay, she’s pulling her neck right back. Following suit, I find my center of balance shifting to a more comfortable position.
With a bit more careful manoeuvring, I manage to make my way halfway down the stairs. Snow Blossom is watching me from below, looking a cross between worried and bored. And I’m pretty sure that guard is waiting at the top of the stairs. But then I set my foreleg down onto a loose pebble, causing it to roll out from under me. Luckily, I hadn’t yet put my weight onto it. But the sudden movement still caused me to lose balance and begin to tilt sideways.
I quickly pull the hoof back in to catch myself on the next step, but I overshoot slightly, knocking me forwards. Snow is quick to respond, catching me in her magic, but it’s not strong enough to stop my momentum completely. I still fall down the stairs a little further, banging the front of my left foreleg on the edge of a step before I come to a complete stop.
She sets me down at the bottom of the stairs, clearly a bit tired out from having to catch me. So lifting stuff with pony magic still tires the pony… I guess that does make sense.
Snow throws an annoyed expression towards where I think that guard is still waiting at the top of the stairs, before turning her attention back to me.
“Jonathan, are you okay? That’s the second time you’ve fallen now.”
She glances at my banged leg.
“Don’t worry about me, I’m fine. But what about you? You look a little… tired from that.”
She waves me off with a hoof.
“Just doing my job.”
I just leave it at that and make to step forwards. However, I can’t help but wince when I switch pressure onto my left leg. Unfortunately, Snow sees this and tries to stop me.
“Relax Snow, I’m fine.”
I push onwards regardless.
“But you’re injured!”
“I’m fine, I was just taken by surprise is all, it’s not that bad.”
Snow Blossom looks like she wants to argue, but thinks better of it, deciding instead to keep a close eye on me incase anything else happens.
Now at ground level, we are on a path running alongside the gardens. As much as I want to make a detour over there, it’ll have to wait because Snow leads us back inside via a grand entranceway. I thought the previous hallways were big, but this just throws all that out of the window. Hanging from the high vaulted ceilings are long tapestries. About half of them are in a dark-ish blue and the other in pale yellow. I can see a large staircase right at the end; but we don’t spend long in there, shortly turning off through a side door.
It’s only a short distance from there until we reach a surprisingly normal rectangle door. Snow knocks on the door with her hoof while the guard takes position beside it. The door opens after only a few seconds and Snow steps part-way in to have a brief whispered conversation with the pony inside. She pops her head back out to face me.
“Jonathan, would you mind waiting outside for a minute while I have a quick chat with the doctor?”
“Sure, go ahead.”
She slips the rest of the way inside, the door closing behind her. I rest against the wall so I can shift my weight off from my leg. The guard by the door stays quiet as always, but keeps one eye trained my way.
A couple of minutes later and I’m allowed in, the guard waits outside. The room is completely white tiled, and reminds me of a hospital room. In the middle is a raised platform with a cushioned upper surface. And along one wall is a wide variety of strange copper instruments. There are two ponies in here, Snow Blossom and another who I can only assume is the doctor; although the fact that he is wearing what looks like a doctor’s uniform kinda gives that away. He is a tan coloured unicorn sporting a green mane and tail with blue streaks through.
“Good morning… Jonathan was it? That’s a rather unusual name… You can call me Doctor Sage. I’m here to give you a medical checkup and make sure that you’re all nice and healthy. Please climb up onto that platform over there and we can begin.”
Climbing up is easier said than done. My injured leg gives me a little difficulty and Snow ends up using her magic again to lift me on. Once I’m up however, Sage removes my wings covers and lays them off to the side.
“Alright Jonathan, we’ll start off with a physical body inspection to check for any superficial injuries you may have. Would you mind if I asked you a few questions while I work?”
“Sure I guess.”
He starts walking around me with his horn lit. I can feel his magic tickling in different areas.
“First off, do you know where you are, Jonathan?”
Yes, in Ponyland. Although why is another matter entirely.
“I overheard some ponies mention the name Canterlot yesterday, I assume that is where we are.”
“Correct, Canterlot Castle to be precise.”
He circles round to my front and begins to inspect my head. His expression remains straight and unreadable.
“You have some slight bruising along the base of your muzzle… Onto the next question, do you know what you are?”
Well, I suppose that these ponies would call me an alicorn… but I think I’ll go with pegacorn.
“I believe that I’m a pegacorn.”
“I’ve not heard that term used before. Teeth all present and healthy… Can you tell me where you are from Jonathan?”
Ahh yes, where I’m from… should I tell them? Eh, why not.
“I’m from a place called Earth.”
“Earth… I don’t think I’ve ever heard of such a place. Are you familiar with the land of Equestria?”
He moves his attention down towards my forelegs.
“I assume that’s where we are now. No, I’m not really familiar with Equestria, although I have heard a little bit about it.”
“Intriguing. Your foreleg looks injured, and it’s quite fresh. When did this happen?”
“On the way here actually, I tripped going down the stairs.”
His horn suddenly brightens for a moment and I feel the pain recede. So these ponies can heal stuff, just like that?
“Your body is clear of any major injuries, I will now cast a scanning spell to check for any infections or disease. You don’t yet have your cutie mark, which is unusual for a pony of your age, but don’t worry, I’m sure you will find your talent soon. The guard report says they found you asleep on a bench in one of the interconnecting alleyways of Canterlot last night while on their evening patrol. I’m curious, what would a pony like you be doing, sleeping on the streets of Canterlot?”
At this statement, I notice Snow Blossom begin to look slightly worried. And what did Sage just mention… a cutie mark? Oh yeah, those symbols the ponies had, I forgot about those. Snow’s looks like a snowdrop with a clear water droplet hanging from it.
“Well, honestly, I only just got here. I’m not really sure of how or why, but I was only going to have a quick nap before deciding on my next move.”
“Your scan results are all clear. So, you say that you just arrived in Canterlot out of nowhere, are you sure this wasn't some kind of botched long distance teleport spell?”
“I guess it could have been that, although I don’t really remember how exactly it happened. My memories feel a little fuzzy around that point.”
And yes they do, I’d not really been trying to remember anything from then; but now that I am, it’s starting to get me worried.
I let out a sudden gasp of surprise as my wings are pulled open, the sudden sensations feel very weird. This would be the first time that my wings have ever been unfolded like this or that I’d ever truly experienced what they felt like. As the doctor’s magic travels along the length of my wings, pulling on feathers, my mind is overloaded with new sensations.
“Your wings are all good, you don’t have many broken or missing feathers, but it doesn’t look like you’ve been preening your wings recently. The muscles are also in good flight condition, but starting showing signs of disuse.”
His horn flashes brighter for a moment.
“Your mana pool is of a sufficient size, slightly larger than the average unicorn, but that is to be expected from an alicorn, which is what you are. However, your mana pathways seem a slight cause for concern.”
He levitates a small metal disc onto the bench in front of me.
“Finally, I just want you to levitate this weight so I can make sure that your horn is operating normally.”
And now they want me to do magic. I look down at the metal disc, then upwards where I can only just see the tip of what could be my horn.
“Jonathan, is something the matter?” Snow asks.
I wouldn’t even know where to begin with magic, it’s not like it ever existed on Earth. I reach up my hoof and knock it against my horn. I don’t feel anything, except a slight pressure around the base of the horn where it merges with my forehead. The ponies in front of me stand silently watching, even Doctor Sage’s impassive expression is starting to break down.
I close my eyes and try to concentrate, but without anything specific to concentrate on, nothing happens. Not that I was really trying that hard anyway. After a few seconds of nothing happening, Sage speaks up.
“Can’t you do magic? I- I don’t understand, a foal of your age should be able to use magic just fine… I didn’t even think it possible for a unicorn to not learn basic magic. I’ll have to report this development to the princesses!”
And with that, the Doctor rushed out the door, leaving me and Snow Blossom behind.
“Come on Jonathan. Is there anything you would like to do before dinner with the princesses? Oh yes, I forgot to mention that the princesses wanted to see you this evening. They didn’t want to wake you up this morning, and then Princess Celestia wanted Princess Luna to be present when you finally meet them so it had to be arranged for tonight.”
And there we go, the two most powerful beings in Equestria want to see me, and all because we seem to be of the same species. I wonder what they’re going to do with me, but until then, I’ve been dying to see these gardens.
11339343
Yes, thats exactly what I meant.
The story slowly picks up speed. Let's see if one of the princesses develops a mother complex.
11339432
It can also be a harem of princesses.... if the author is japanese.
11339432
11339445
I hope neither of those happen.
11339452
Luna might.
Celestia I cannot stand to see with a mother complex. She keeps most at a great distance and never noticed Cadenza (who she chose to adopt as a niece) was replaced. She just seems like a poor fit to actually care about anyone that closely.
Hum, not much happening, glad to see he that Johnathon doesn't see a point in keeping his origins even if they don't really prod him very deeply on the matter; at least he is a mostly healthy pony. Still, with four chapter in some actual plot development could help the story then just having him be sting along and have a more meaningful interaction with others. I could say that the ponies are doing everything they can as to not make him worry, I am wondering if they are discreetly monitoring him him at a distance making sure that he doesn't do any suspicious action, in case he is intentionally pretending to be an alicorn, or that he is some kind of manufacture being supposing to pass as a regular natural born pony, or that he knows more then he lets on. I wouldn't be surprised that some nobles or rich pony have tried to manufacture an alicorn with their own foals, as an attempt to get close to the royal line, raise their prestige and influence the princess and probably didn't turn out well. Through they probably already scanned him and did every examination possible while he was asleep, the examination was probably choreographed to try to keep him at ease and have an excuse to ask questions in the least invasive manner they can think of.
Glad to see that Jonathan has the same enemy as every human turned pony... stairs. :)
Seriously though, I'm curious to see if he's going to be put in a gilded cage or not. The most valuable resource the kingdom could possibly acquire just appeared on a random bench. In my brain, I can see no way they'll give him a real choice on what happens to him.
Oh, so Blossom is a court mare. At least one worry aside.
11339509
I always thought it was foolish for any human turned pony to start telling everyone that he is an alien. I think it's even worse when that person is an alicorn. Now you have an unknown entity, here for unknown reasons, in the body of one of the most dangerous and powerful creatures on the planet. While Luna is strait forward, Celestia is careful and a planner. As devious as I consider her to be, there would be absolutely no way in hell, she would allow him to live his life. She will try her best to make him into a tool that she can use, or she will hobble him in some way so she can ensure control. Thats why I would not only try to stay as far away from the sisters as possible, but would also do my best to hide my origins.
I would also be dam careful to never accept any royal title or nobility or knighthood. Nobles and knights are bound by laws to defend the country, which means the crown can force you to do things you may not want to be involved in. There are a lot of legal leashes and traps in those titles that a smart ruler can keep you in line with.
Someone mentioned noble families using you as a pawn....While possible, I don't think thats going to be a big problem. The massive problem is that the Alicorn sisters are sterile. BUT, I don't really think that they are. I think the reason why the sisters never had children is because they aren't genetically compatible enough with ponies. To have foals, they need a male alicorn. I think that if there is going to be a snag, it's this issue that would most likely crop up.
Which would be hysterical if it were actually me being pulled into MLP. The first male alicorn the world had ever seen, and the first chance the sisters have at having foals...And that alicorn is, shamelessly hitting on the male guards. 😎
Monk
"not only was love blind but it must have some severe mental disorders too." -Recteik Shade
11339514
best case he gets sent to twilight and worse case they begin training him to be a assistent to celestia without him wanting it
When a pony doesn’t know how to use magic everypony freaks out the doctor could had helped instead of running away…
Ah yes, the stairs is the number one enemy of all human in Equestria stories because we in a new 4-legged body and it will be difficult to walk down or up. Plus an Alicorn makes it tough with wings.
I guess he overslept from whatever happened to him. The sisters might likely either teach him magic or sign a teacher for him. Though they’ll be surprise when they learn he can’t read.
11339432
11339445
No, that’s been done before and not sure if the author even wants either of those. Most likely Snow could be the “motherly” figure for the colt since she is notice she has to stay by him because of his difficulties of being a pony.
Really I don’t think either Sister would think of them as their child because he is a teenager and they could say like he is Cadance brother from her village which is far away enough to make it a believable story.
So... a food for thought moment...
(Meaning I am talking to the air and don't expect a response)
What does Celestia and Luna think of him?
Most stories go for the mother [princess] route or harem. Time honored i suppose but I would like to point out two or more possible routes you could go...
Where is Cadence in all this? Mi Amor Cadenza is usually the missing princess unless Sunset or the Sparkle family is involved. She was once (perhaps still is as timeline has not been established) the foal sitter of Twilight Sparkle. She is also a former pegasus and could help him figure out his horn. A lot of possibilities there.
Will Prince Blueblood have a role? Please don't make him a one shot "let's insult the royal twit" thing that so many before have done. The audience are too busy forgiving Rarity to actually think about him. The comics had him far more pleasant in polit company. He is still a male royal. He could try and steal the alicornhood out of jealousy, or try to kill him not wanting another pony over him. He could also try to be an upstanding gentleman that shows our new alicorn how to survive court. Both being male there is a lot of gold here...
You also have Fancy Pants for a legitimate good male role model. A bunch of comic characters (I don't expect them to show up; it's a hit or miss for most authors) that help in the day to day running of Canterlot.
11339538
Is it terrible of me that I hope the second one happens?
I think it'll cause way more drama. It might even drive him to try and run away after he's spent more time with her controlling his life.
That doesn't mean I think the sisters are going to be the bad guys. From their point of view, they probably think it's the best thing for both him and their kingdom.
11339546
In terms of the first point, I likely won't be putting romance in the story, at least not as a key plot point. The story will also likely remain E rated for the foreseeable future.
I will try not to forget the other princesses in the story. Cadence would still be in the Crystal Empire at this point and won't be able to arrive on such short notice, but I do like you idea of her helping with teaching magic.
Prince Blueblood, I have no plans for him as of now, but I likely won't just bring him up once only to throw insults at. A lot of stories have already done that and I don't think I like writing characters who just go around throwing insults. As you mentioned, there are also the comics to consider (although I haven't actually read any of them) but I do think it would be worth me doing a little research into his character from the comics. If I do have any characters throwing insults around at the nobles, it'll probably just be Luna.
Alot of possibilities to go for here. I hope snow is a good caretaker here. She seemed like she was getting bored when she should of been more attentive. Also how big is the kid anyway? Snow either has a small levitation ability or he is bigger than average kids his age??
11339578
He's just a bit smaller than an adult, not a young foal but an almost-adult.
11339578
If he's a teenager he could be almost the same height as a regular pony. You reach full height in your teens.
11339593
Edit: I wish my comment came 30 seconds earlier. :)
11339578
In the ballpark of eight to twelve... i think. It wasn't really stated but implied.
interesting chapter
11339534
I would tangentially agree with you, but when you just wake up at being displaced in a alien world and in a body that doesn't feel your own, common sense is thrown out the people for most people, and be in a panic spree and running on pure adrenaline and instincts for the first few hours especially, there is just no frame of reference on how to act in such a situation for a regular, it's like finding yourself waking in Thailand and that you got gender surgery without your consent(the shock and disorientation would be massive. You'd have to be a total psychopath(in the good clinical sense) to ever hope to steel your nerves long enough to come up with a plan of action on a cover story on how you should behave in an alien world. If he wakes up in the Everfree forest(very popular for HiE apparently), or more rural areas at least they have the chance to freak out in privet and get it all out of their system and could calm down finally to get to grips with the situation long enough, to think over his situation and opt to keep his secrets.
For Celestia manipulating a new alicorn as her pawn for her own ends, (she didn't say ruler of the nation for a thousand years without scheming or planning) I wouldn't put it pass her(depending on how she views mortals), thought I think there would be some genuine maternal feeling could bleed in and develop for the alicorn if he is young enough for her to bond and to tutor and take charge of his education. Older, closer to an adult, I would say she would certainly be more ruthless, but still subtle enough to still come off as kind, with hammering home that whatever titles or privilege and luxuries she might give him she could still take it all away in an heart beat and keep him in house arrest for the rest of his life or immortal life if it turned out he is unworkable with or too depraved. Should certainly test the alicorn's moral fiber, integrity and make sure that everything he first knows about he and equestria is through her lenses and favorable to her all the while keeping an approachable image of herself to him. He would probably be married off to appease the nobles but still stay in her periphery. Through I don't think Celestia is that much of master mind control freak(the country would be much more monitored), but still very calculating, but is mixed in with her image of herself as a maternal figure that she is projected, but is at heart still, and that all those controlling behaviors would b to a degree subconscious like most normal people. If the alicorn turns out to be malleable and reliable I think she could trust him fully she could do the same with Cadence and send him as a ruler of another nation or protectorate as a puppet ruler and marry him to a local noble. But what would be most important for Celestia to have from the alicorn is to be ready and willing to follower her directives in a crisis.
For the sterility thing, I wouldn't think it's ancestrally the case( it could very much be) but probably have a very powerful contraception spell on them to avoid getting any unwanted foals and probably had issues with their foals cracking under the intense scrutiny of their mother's or become entitled jerks, or even fall under the influence of corrupt nobles foreign entities and politicians and just didn't wanted to deal with it anymore. For random alicorn that crop up, like Cadence, I think Celestia makes sure to get them as young and possible she makes sure to get to as soon as possible and ingratiate themselves to the alicorn, pay off the parents to to take charge of him(without cutting them off completely), promise the best education and make sure that the alicorn stay grateful for all those he provided them and stomp out any bad habits of temptation they might develop. I think she does genuinely love teaching and takes satisfaction her her students accomplishments and personal growth, and that her controlling tendencies them is derived from that, and isn't any where near as malicious as it could be. I think Twilight is also the product of that same education she usually reserves for(the more positive examples) but we also saw Sunset Shimmer fall from grace, when she was probing too deeply on subjects that Celestia didn't wanted to look into, as the final straw and just banished it for her, so Celestia isn't afraid to cut them off if she deems necessary, but still
As for yourself, I am sure they would have ways around that, that involves R63 spells if they absolutely wanted to have foal or just ask for a donation, from him. But there could the public pressure demanding that they marry somehow which would be harder to navigate. Through I do like the idea that Alicorn's are actually androgynous with could be off putting for most nobles.
11339559
Blueblood is way better in the comics. Even though he only had a few it pictures him much easier to understand he isn't a bad pony just is different plus he is friends with Shining Armor which not many authors have done yet. The whole reason he made Rarity, not like him is that he doesn't like mares that only come to him thinking they would romance him like a book or silly dreams that aren't real. There is a reason why Celestia favors Blue as her favorite nephew.
I don't think you need romance or be a force to write romance if you don't want to. Like there is a story about Celestia adopting a foal who didn't know how to speak or read Equestria. Just pops out of nowhere but yes, he was human I think? forgot... but the author didn't do romance rather just had little hints to give viewers their idea when he grows up would he be with his guard or Nobel's daughter but that was at the very end of the story.
I rather have funny scenes for the colt then a romance story.
Uh oh. The doctor probably thinks he's an abused/neglected child who ran away from home. His reaction seems to suggest that this is like a human child who doesn't know how to use their hands. At this rate everyone will be walking on eggshells around Jonathan.
11339652
I like how he goes from "You're an alicorn" to "all UNICORNS" as if he can't even conceive the idea of a none unicorn alicorn. would an original earth pony do too much better?
The thing about it being impossible for unicorns to not use magic will be explained better in the next chapter. Doctor Sage probably didn't word it very well.
11339757
guessing its something to do with young ponies learning it on instict when they want something
11339792
Not quite the reason I have in mind... But good guess anyway.
Another great ch thank u
question. Is there a story reason he has appered in equestria or canterlot to be exact or is it a just cause randome thing
11340283
Currently, just random. I have no big plot for this story and most likely will keep it mostly small scale slice-of-life. No massive threat to Equestria arcs currently planned.
Not really. It’s said that alicorns get their cutie mark quite later in life.
11340311
Never heard that before, but it does make sense. In this stories' canon though, Flurry Heart will be the only known natural born alicorn so that information wouldn't be widely known, if at all.
11340325
It’s from the Journal of the two sisters. So Luna and Celestial should know that.
11340402
What exactly is this Journal? Was it something from the show, the comics, or maybe it's own thing? I personally have not heard anything of it and will have to look it up.
11340406
https://mlp.fandom.com/wiki/The_Journal_of_the_Two_Sisters
11340406
I have heard of it. Whether the book is itself cannon is, as always, debatable. What I do find interesting is they place zebra inside the everfree (in the middle of Equestria) which isn't unusual. The comics, i recall, had deerfolk instead (or was that Whitetail Forest?).
Supposedly the kirin are just south of that making 5 confirmed tribes of ponies living in Equestria. It is unknown if batponies are real or if they are just enchanted pegasai. If they are it makes 6 (though some maps place a lot of night themed locations in the upper left corner: bordering Equestria, the Crystal Empire and Yakistan along the Lunar Bay)
11340406
its as canon as the Comic books, but it has some interesting ideas, it was Secondary canon but then Flurry heart happened and made the Journal non-canon to the show.
Finally caught up. Seema promising honestly. So many things they could say but do not. Not too unnatural reactions. Honestly just not bad. Waiting for it to spice up a bit based on the docs reaction.
Johnathan is way too calm and nonchalant, I hope we find out why. Perhaps it has something to do with him messed up memory?
11341059
It's not as odd as you may think. There's a term that I can remember but it refers to situations where you're calm simply because you can't think of anything to do to change things in a way you want.
Oh boy.
Johnny is in for some interesting times.
Keep it up!!!
11341174
If they refuse because they can't?
Earth is a small earth pony village, very old. You may know it as Dirtville because of all the fertile soil.
11341851
That wouldn't be refusing. That's them unable to grant his request.
You need to space out each paragraph. You seem to forget that a lot.
11358703
Currently I use a single return line, do you mean splitting areas of dialog like in your first comment or doubling the return spaces where they are already positioned?
I guess that some of these paragraphs are quite large.
I actually like he doesn’t know how to use magic, though it would have been funnier if he struggled more with walking around on all fours, nevermind getting used to two additional appendages on his back (wings). Thank you for not just making him adept at using them out of the gate! Also I’m glad others don’t like Celestia having a mother complex, as the only hint of this is from Twilights memories… and she’s probably an unreliable source with her unhealthy obsession with her…
11359778
I don't like how a lot of other stories handle magic either. I guess he did get used to walking on four legs fairly quickly, but I aim to make anything that doesn't have something to map with on his original body very difficult to use. Magic is not something that will be learnt quickly in this story, the same goes for flying.
11339578
She means well but she going alicorn worship route and unfortunately that means freaking out if anything happens to him. Like Applejack had to learn how to let go she has to too. Besides minor injuries aren't something to worry about.
After a few seconds of nothing happening, Sage speaks up.
“Can’t you do magic? I- I don’t understand, a foal of your age should be able to use magic just fine… I didn’t even think it possible for a unicorn to not learn basic magic. I’ll have to report this development to the princesses!”
Shouldn't he wait for a response first?