Endless fields of pastel greens and rolling hills stretch to the horizon in all directions. The blades of grass lightly tickle my hooves as I traverse the land. Tiny flowers of every hue offer their subtles smells, which all blend together to form a sweet orchestra of fragrance. The flatness of the plains, broken only by the occasional tree or rock, is illuminated silver by the light of the full moon above. Little, fluffy clouds drift slowly across the beautiful, starlit sky.
It could almost be described as picturesque. Almost. But something still feels off. I stop walking, settling down instead in the soft grass; who knew grass could be so comfortable? Yet despite all this tranquillity, I still find myself plagued with a sense of unease: a feeling of being watched. And suddenly this place is not so comforting. I feel exposed in this wide open space, with my wings and horn out in the open air. I shiver slightly as a cool breeze ruffles my fur, mane and feathers.
Where even am I? This place feels strange, liminal, dream-like… Dream like… Am I in a dream? Everything seems so surreal, yet so vivid. But if this is a dream, then why does it feel like I’m being watched? It’s like there’s another presence here, watching me. I stand up and call out.
“Hello?”
My voice echoes strangely through the dreamscape. Silence. But then, my ears pick up a new sound. Distant at first, but steadily approaching: the sound of wingbeats. I twist my head, following my ears. I can just barely make out a speck in the distance, but whatever it is blends too well against the dark sky to see clearly.
“We were hoping thou wouldn’t notice us.”
That voice sounds familiar... And then she is close enough to recognise.
“Princess Luna?”
Why, of all ponies, would the lunar princess be in my dream? For some reason, I get the feeling that this isn’t just a simple creation of my subconscious.
“Yes, Jonathan. It is I.”
She touches down softly upon the grassy ground ahead of me, her great wings coming to rest neatly against her sides.
“What are you doing here? In my dream I mean?”
“Jonathan, you already know me as Princess of the Night, do you not?”
“Yes…, but what does that have to do with you being in my dream?”
“Like the night sky, the dream realm also falls within my domain. It is my responsibility to protect mine little ponies through their dreams!”
Cryptic… But also creepy. So she can see into ponies dreams? But what does she mean by ‘protecting ponies through their dreams?’ Maybe she wards off nightmares, or uses dreams to track down criminals? I don’t really know how I should feel about that… But that does not exactly answer what she is doing watching me in my sleep.
“That still doesn’t tell me exactly what you were doing in my dream, Luna. Why are you in my dream?”
She seems a little hesitant to answer, refusing to look me in the eye.
“We were… studying thy dream, Jonathan.”
Studying my dream? Why would she be doing that? Glancing backwards, I am reminded of my current species. Ah, right… It kinda makes sense that the princesses would want to keep an eye on the ‘mysterious new alicorn.’ I guess she’s trying to find out more about me to see if I am a danger. Still, that shouldn’t give her the right to start invading my mind and my privacy behind my back.
“You know Luna, I’m a little bit annoyed at you now. I may not know exactly how things work around here, around Equestria, but that doesn’t make me any less upset that you’ve been spying on my mind without my consent.” I stop for a moment. “How long has this been going on for?”
Luna’s ears are folded back now and she seems even more reluctant to make eye contact.
“Well, we have been attempting to find out… more about you, since… since you arrived.”
Really, she’s been doing this multiple nights already? Doesn’t make it any better. I raise an eyebrow and continue my stare.
“But.. but, this has been our first successful attempt at contact, we couldn’t find your dream the first night, and the second just wasn’t stable enough! I tried stabilising your dreaming with magic the third night, but then you suddenly cut off… We didn’t know what happened! But you seemed fine the next day…”
I hold up a hoof to cut her off. So, she hasn’t successfully invaded my dreams before tonight… And so she’s been trying to stabilise my dreams with magic? Uh, magic again!? Since when did simple dreaming require magic of all things? Magic this and magic that. Much good it’s done me! Waking me up in the… middle… of… the… night…
“So… it was you?!”
“What?”
“It was you who woke me up last night. You who made my horn go all funny!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about?”
I’m angry. I stop. I take a deep, shuddering breath. Just, breathe… There we go, much better…
“Last night, Luna, I was awoken suddenly from my sleep. And what awoke me from my sleep was this… thing… on my head. It was glowing, bright like the sun, burning my eyes out. And it just would… not… stop! I had to get up and go all the way to use the bathroom sink to put it out. And then I had to make my way all the way back to the bed in complete darkness.”
“We… I… had no idea Jonathan.”
“It’s fine… it’s behind us now… but please Luna… next time you do something like this, please talk to me about it first. And no more casting magic on me behind my back! Please.”
“Very well… we shall leave you in peace. Good night Jonathan.”
“Thank you. And good night, Princess.”
The lunar princess fades out of my view, and out of my dream. I let out a long sigh, allowing myself to collapse back into the comforting grass of the endless plains. I have a lot to think about…
"It is a slow-burn slice-of-life which lacks much serious threat. There is no big villain, and the storyline progresses quite slowly"
Jokes on you in into that kinda of stuff!!
I look forward to more of this story and hope you enjoy writing it!
Dude i like it as well got it saved as follw for a reason it piqued my interests so do what u can my guy im new as well
great chapter
I enjoy the simple slice of life. It’s awesome to see a new chapter and hope you have a amazing new year!
bad princess bad, no cookies for you
i love this, this is the exact thing that irks me about luna
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Well, I'm pretty sure that it's your previous comments on Luna's privacy invasions which drove this chapter to occur. I probably wouldn't have though to make this happen if you hadn't have brought it up.
Well, that was...short. Not really sure what else to say than that. Thanks for the update though!!
Yay some actual character! Maybe he'll grow a back bone in the next chapter to! Or he'll escape the castle to give the story some inspiration since the castle is the least interesting place. Why couldn't you let him rough it in the streets a bit to add something to this rather than have him be immediately picked up by the sisters.
I love this story please keep going can't wait 4 more
I'm still conflicted on the whole idea that because he's [was] human, he will automatically rail against Luna showing up in his dreams. It's kinda her job after all and to further justify her position as a nightmare-buster ('oi, put down the proton pack) because of magic, nightmares have a lot more influence than making people feel bad (eg. Nightmare Moon trying to end the world). As they say, "I'm not in Kansas anymore, Toto." As such, he needs to learn more about himself and the new world around him without pushing away two very wise princesses. Well, they're very
old, er, experienced.Personally, I think I would enjoy having somepony to confide with, not that I'm much of a talker. And lucid dreaming? Are you kidding? I've ALWAYS wanted to try that.
Dear ramdom_player201,
thank you for the new chapter!
I will be waiting for the next one.
Furthermore I wish you a happy new year!
Yours sincerely,
All2101base
I feel kinda bad for ol Luna in this one. She's so used to ponies wanting her to protect their dreams, that she never expected such a reaction from our young alicorn. She quite clearly feels guilt for her actions, when she realizes they were unwanted.
Saying that, it's probably quite an expected reaction for a human to freak out a little, when they find out the all powerful moon is trying to spy on them. I know I would. The only way I'd be fine with it, would be if she told me in advance. Even then, having no control over the dream I have, could still result in some unintended secrets being shared.
Intriguing story, I shall wait to see where this goes.
This story is good
Good Luna cameo.
It has been a month. I am not happy with this chapter. I haven't been happy with it since it was released. That is probably why I've not been motivated to update recently. Before I start on the new chapter, I want to change the current chapter since I feel like Luna was letting herself be told off way too easily. I want to fix that.
Anyway, I've also completed the chapter outline of the next one, and can hopefully start writing it (after rewriting the second-half of this one)
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Personally I believe Luna wasn't told off hard enough, the mind is a sacred place, the culmination of all things that make one themselves. No one has the right to invade someone's privacy like that, and if she were to continue this course of action only unending suffering awaits her and her sister (since she approves of committing this crime).
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It is common for me to be unhappy with a chapter after publishing, but then to read it and realise it not to be bad as I thought. Happens every chapter, mostly from me forgetting precise details. I just don't want Luna to be too 'soft' and not stand up for herself at all. Of course, she will still remain guilty, but I just want to keep everything balanced. Maybe the tension will last longer than just this chapter. I have noticed that I haven't gotten any new dislikes since this chapter was published, and not really any negative comments this time.
Maybe I'll reread it and leave with barely any changes. Its already been out for a month, so I guess major changes wouldn't be good. It depends on how I feel the chapter holds up when I reread it. Then I will proceed onto the new chapter, of which I've got the outline written now.
I would like to see how this story goes. Hopefully there will be more.
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I have recently been in the writing mood, but I had school so never found the time. This weekend, hopefully…
MOAR Please?!?!
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900 words of next chapter written so far. I am aiming for 2k to publish. I hope to have it finished soon.
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Make It So!!!!
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Nightmares are normal. It is how our minds process and work through our troubles. What Luna does is, perhaps, the most horrify thing in all of MLP!
But stepping away of ethics...
Luna is the one and only cause of all problems in the dream realm. Nightmare Moon? It's Luna. The lunar dream creatures corrupted into nightmare creatures? Nightmare Moon's fault; who is Luna. Tantabus? Luna. Gosh! It seems like Luna is a net negative.
So you have this former criminal in charge of the minds/dreams of everyone in Equestria who, I might add, has no oversight at all. Does nothing I just said concern you? This is the same level as letting the government free access to your home with cameras watching you at every moment.
I actually stopped awhile ago. Some guy added this story to a group without your permission (I assume. extremely rude of him if he did) and saw two new chapters.
Let's call it morbid curiosity...
What? No! No. He has had a character before, not a lot but it was there, but this is definitely something new. He has a conviction now, an outlook on life, an ethic even.
Good. He is not overpowered, nor skilled in magic.
It's great (I really like the slow burn). If the chapters were coming in faster it wouldn't feel so painful at going nowhere. It is the sort of stuff you can binge.
Give him a goal, a purpose to his life. It is ironic that he summoned a pink lump on a tree for that is him; connected to something bigger but doesn't interact with it. We hear nothing about his previous life to establish who he is. Trains? "Wow they have them too? Moving on because I don't really care." Foals playing in a park? "Wow, there is so many. I still don't care, I will barely say a word when they interact with me. In fact I might never remember that they were there."
I'm getting mean spirited there...
Trains? "Yeah I remember the trains as they went by my house. So noisy I couldn't hear my myself think. My mother hated it as well; it would wake dad up from his drunken stupor and bad things happen." And then "kids my age?" (Does he even know what foals are? I never cared enough about horses to learn until after MLP; could be accidental character build! His parents owned horses!) "Gosh I never had friends before!". Tell us how he feels about what he is looking at. Imply, or tell, us his values by how he interacts with his surroundings (good job with Luna).
For the first 7-8 chapters he was basically a doll being piloted by anyone or anything. A story doesn't need conflict but it does need an arc; it doesn't even need to be Jonathan's arc all the time either. At best we are prevy to the arcs of Equestria and how they might deal with a sudden male alicorn. That is what makes Jonathan so grating... I have read your one shot (your best story in my opinion), I have read the character of the nameless masses here... 30k words and we barely have a main character while that 2.1k feels like it was written by a different author; the same author that does your secondary characters here. It is hard for me to tell you what to improve as you have already done it 30k words ago, I just don't know why Jonathan misses it all.
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I was unaware Equestrian ponies operate exactly like Earth humans.
So what you're trying to say is things get bad when a near-deity level being goes insane, or corrupt, or taken over by a hostile entity bent on genocide. I'm not exactly sure of the exact terminology since it's somewhat vague on that point although the lore would indicate the last option. Tell me how this would be different if Celestia had the same thing happen to her ("Fire, lots of fire"). What about the other OP being, Discord? Ok, Discord was already insane to start but he's getting better?
Ok, Luna's fault on that one. Going emo and self-injuring is not healthy at all. Millions of Teens can attest to that.
Technicality. She was pardoned by the other apparently unaging near-diety level being ruling Equestria, Celestia. As for oversight, I suppose that would be Celestia as well but considering no one else can browse dreams it's a moot point.
Luna cannot see into my dreams, nor can the current government (yet) so no, I am not concerned. But if you think you have privacy, oh boy, do I have a bridge to sell you...
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I went into this with little to no planning and no idea what I was doing with it.
The shorter one off was actually based off one of my earliest alicorn OCs (who I never actually named, they just had a vague design and had their power stored in an amulet that they mustn't let overcharge.) I'd actually come up with the idea for the one-off quite a while before I wrote it.
This story didn't start off good, because I had no idea what I was doing, and would sometimes just push a chapter out because I was sick of working on it. There's some semblance of an arc forming, but I never really knew who Jonathan actually was; he has absolutely no backstory. I've had plans to completely ditch this story for a while, but chose to continue it. If it's already bad, then it can't get much worse... I'm learning a lot from writing this story and hope to use what I've learnt in my mistakes here to write better stories in the future.
Motivating myself to write is difficult. It's been almost 2 months since this stories' last update and progress is slow. I do have a few better-developed ideas that I think will come out much better than this story did, or will do once I find the motivation to get them off the ground.
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I for one am enjoying this story. As for being planned out? Sometimes the off the cuff inspiration leads to greatness. Just look at: Harry Potter, Sharknado, and Shades of Gray for example. Lol. Nah. The story is good though. Have you tried a free flow near term story board for general direction yet? Or do you just organically wholesale do the writing?