Ch05: - Talks in the Gardens
I take in a deep breath of the fresh mountain air as we make our way outside. Snow Blossom walks beside me while that guard trails behind. We turn off the main path and onto a cobblestone one. The little pebbles are much cleaner than I would have expected, since we are in a garden, with lots of dirt and soil around. I wonder if they have ponies going around cleaning the garden paths.
Up ahead, the path winds in through a gap between two tall flower patches. I’ve never seen flowers this big before, except maybe sunflowers, but these are different. Thick vines curl up around a wooden trestle, extending to just above eye-level. The flowers are yellow like sunflowers, but not the same shape. They have bigger petals which curl inwards to form a kind of giant flower bud. The smell from them is interesting too. I can’t quite say whether it’s good or bad, but it certainly is… unique.
We soon find ourselves in a sort of enclosed space, the cobbled path spreading out into a circle, surrounded by tall bushes and flowers. In the center is a bench, sat facing towards a much lower flowerbed of more normal-looking flowers. We both go closer to inspect them. I’m pleasantly surprised to see a much more recognisable selection of flowers. In the front, there are a few daisies. A bit larger than the tiny ones I know, but I’m pretty sure that there were big ones on earth too. Behind them and to the left are a range of yellow flowers. A few of them I don’t recognise, but I do recognise the tall buttercup plants.
Turning my head to look to my right, I see… Wait, is Snow Blossom eating something?
"Hey Jonathan, you should try these rambolia, they’re really nice you know."
Don’t tell me she’s eating the garden flowers…
“Are you sure you’re meant to be eating those?”
“There’s no rules against it here. As long as you don’t eat an entire display, anypony’s free to have a taste. And as the Princesses’ guest, I’m sure she’ll be happy for you to try some too.”
“Umm, no thanks Snow.”
“Really, they taste great”
She pulls another crimson bud off the plant and waves it in front of my muzzle. I sniff it, it smells nice, but not like the kind of thing you should actually eat.
“I can see you like the smell Jonathan. Come on, just a little nibble?”
I give in and nip a small piece of the petal. Snow looks a little disappointed at my hesitance. And as before, I find I don’t like the taste. I try to hide a grimase at the flavour and proceed to swallow the small sample.
When I don’t take the rest of the flower, Snow looks a little confused, but then she floats it over and finishes it herself.
“Say Jonathan, is it true that you can’t do magic?”
“No, I suppose I can’t.”
After a moment’s silence, I ask my own question.
“When Doctor Sage found out I couldn’t do magic, he said something about it being impossible for a unicorn to not learn basic magic. What’s that about?”
“Unfortunately, I don’t really know the specifics of that… it’s something you would probably need to ask princess Celestia. She’s actually a part-time magic teacher so I’m sure she’ll be able to explain it in more detail. But back to the question at hoof, I personally have never heard of a unicorn who couldn’t do magic… Excluding the younger foals of course, but most get a basic grasp of it at quite the young age. I suppose it’s not so much that they can’t not learn it, but that all unicorns and horned species have an innate connection to their magic.
Whereas you, when Doctor Sage asked you to lift that weight, your horn showed absolutely no signs of use; not a spark, not even a flicker. I could see that you were concentrating, but for your horn to show no reaction is concerning… How long have you not been able to use magic for?”
Of course, when a pony has a horn, they’re expected to be able to use it… I guess I should have realised that. I suppose I’ll need to look into pony magic eventually… I can’t have every pony going around worrying about my lack of magic. But since they know now, no use trying hiding it, at least not here.
“Well, to be honest, that would be my first time attempting to use this horn.”
And Snow gasps, not that surprising considering how magic-centric these ponies are.
“Have you never had a unicorn around to teach you magic? Surely there must be unicorns back in your home land… Earth, was it? You’re a pony yourself after all.”
“I’ve read about unicorns in mythology books, nothing mentioning them casting magic with their horns though, although they were still listed as magical creatures.”
Snow’s eyes widen and she gasps again.
“No unicorns?! But what about pegasi? Surely you must have pegasi?”
“I’ve read about those too, ponies with wings.”
Poor Snow looks like she’s having a panic attack. Is that because where I come from doesn’t have those ponies or because I’m saying they only exist in mythology?
“But pegasi control the weather! How can you control the weather without unicorns or pegasi? Do you have–”
I cut her off.
“We don’t, the weather controls itself. But we have developed equipment which can predict it to a degree of accuracy and we collect water to use in case it decides not to rain.
“So you’re saying that your homeland has only earth ponies? Or do you not have ponies at all.. but how–”
“Yes, we have ponies. I guess they’re similar to your earth ponies in a way, no horns or wings. The place is called Earth after all.”
“Oh…”
She pauses a moment before continuing.
“But earlier, you called yourself a pegacorn. Does that mean you have alicorns– or pegacorns?”
“We don’t, not even in mythology, but people have come up with their own ideas for what the combination of a unicorn or a pegasus might be like. Pegacorn is one of those names used, mixing pega- from pegasus and -corn from unicorn.”
Snow still looks a little sad. I think it’s time we stop discussing this. I stand up.
“Come on Snow, I want to see more of these gardens, you coming?”
Upon hearing this, she perks up again.
“Of course, I can’t wait to show you the statues! Maybe I can teach you some of our own pony history!”
We both stand up and make our way to the opposite side of the circle where a small arch leads the way through into the next section.
Turning my head back, I notice that I cannot see our guard anymore. I wonder where he went off to?
“Ahem– sorry ponies but the royal gardens are closed to visitors until further notice. I have been instructed to escort all ponies away from the castle. Princess’s orders.”
A unicorn guard had come round the corner while I wasn’t looking and now stands in our path. I think I can guess what this is about… and checking my wing covers, they’re still perfectly hidden.
I glance over at Snow and give a mischievous smile. She seems confused, but only for a moment as she is quick to catch on.
“Oh of course, lead the way. Although I must ask, what might this be about?” she asks.
“That’s confidential information.”
He starts walking back the way we came and we follow behind. Snow comes up to his side and then suddenly asks in a conspiratorial tone, “this wouldn’t have anything to do with, say… those rumours of an alicorn colt would it?”
The guard stops suddenly, rounding on both of us.
“Who told you that! I’m afraid I’ll need to take you in for questioning… and are you wearing bedsheets?”
His shout quickly turning to one of confusion. Snow speaks up.
“Oh, this here is Jonathan, I’ve been assigned to look after him until later this evening…”
“What’s your name miss?”
“Snow Blossom, sir.”
She turns to show her cutie mark to the guard. This sparks some recognition.
“Oh… umm… my apologies miss Snow Blossom. Princess Celestia said you would be on duty… with the… alicorn… colt…”
He glances back over to my bedsheets.
“You wouldn’t happen to be that alicorn colt the princess mentioned would you?”
He doesn’t wait for an answer, and instead goes ahead and pulls off my covers with his magic, revealing my wings.
“My deepest and most sincere apologies… You think you could maybe… promise not to tell anypony of this mix up?”
Snow Blossom laughs.
“Oh don’t worry, we were just having a little fun. Nopony need ever know.”
At that point, the guard who had been trailing up until a short time ago finally reappears from around the bushes. His eyes widen slightly when he sees the unicorn guard with us.
The unicorn guard speaks up.
“Patroller Soft Wing... Where have you been? You were meant to be watching over these two.”
“Umm, I’m really sorry commander. I just got a little distracted by the gardens and maybe might have lost them.”
“And I found them right here, right by the entrance. I almost apprehended them because I didn’t recognise them myself. This is your job, patroller. I really need you to step up your game…”
The commander sounds tired. I wonder how long this has been going on between these two.
The pegasus patroller wilts under his disappointment.
“I’m really sorry sir, it won’t happen again.”
“It better not do, but I’ll let you off just this once.”
“Really sir?”
The commander nods.
“But just this once. Well, I best be going now, need to keep up my patrol. Have a nice day everypony.”
And then he leaves. Our guard, Soft Wing, is quick to compose himself and stand to attention.
“Well, I think it’s getting close to lunch, everypony want to head down to the cafeteria?” Snow asks.
And actually, I am beginning to feel hungry again.
“Ye, sure, that sounds nice.”
Soft Wing ignores the question, keeping his face straight and impassive as before. But what about Soft Wing? He probably had breakfast early this morning, but surely he won’t go without lunch. I wonder if he’ll swap out with another guard or stay and eat with us…
“Hey Soft Wing! I asked if you wanted to get some lunch at the cafeteria?”
“Umm, sorry Snow, but protocol won’t permit that. You go on ahead.”
And with that, we all begin to make our way back to the castle.
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No mention of humans yet…
I wonder how long he can keep it up.
I don't really know what could happened before he finally meets the princesses. He already got the basic check-up, a tour of the gardens and a few prank on Soft Wing.
Probably explore a little more towards the Library? Probably Snow will learn he doesn’t know how to read yet then heading towards dinner.
I have eaten roses before and it taste pretty good. Looks like they really are trying to make him feel at ease before finally meeting Princess Celestia, all the while gently trying to probe him for information.
I have thought it over and I don't think ponies would essentially automatically associate alicorn or pegacorns as royally unless they are actually given a title or adopted. If there is nothing particularly magically powerful about him, or immortal I think he could be left to become a commoner and live a completely normal life with other ponies, which ponies could readily accept and as long as he doesn't pretend he is royalty he should have trouble with the crown, but I wouldn't be surprised they have a lot of restriction on where they can go from traveling and stuff. Probably would have to sign a document that he refuses any claims to the throne or any title for legal reasons. But if it turns out he has some significant magical properties to him, of the fact that he is unregistered teen foal and the crown have taken an intense sudden interest to him that could bring a lot of unwanted interests from other parties with secret agendas or nations wanting him to experiments and stuff so it could be a really danger to his life and freedom. keeping him around Canterlot and giving him a title of his own could be as much a way to protect him as a leash for him. For the next chapter unless you want to add more plot hooks and mystery I think skipping to meeting Celestia for the mean could be for the best.
The only thing I would want to add is more dialog. Jonathan's and Snow's curiosity seems to have dried up. Will there be any more questions? Will there be a short montage/inner monolog from John about Snow prying more information as he heads to dine with the princesses? Normally this wouldn't be an issue but here the character knows little. What, if anything, we going to assume he learns in the next few hours? This is technically his first day; it's not like we had a two or three day skip in the hospital/medical wing or something....
You do great descriptions but the characters seem apathetic towards each other (part of this can be excused by the master servant dynamic thus far but soon more verbose characters will be present). The best is the one scene wonder that was the doctor. The pair we have feel like a pair of Fluttershies....
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Even if he said it, I don't think anyone short of Celestia (or Lyra, if she is a human fanatic in this world too) would even recognize the word.
The guys kind of acting obtuse. He is intentionally dancing around the issue of not being a pony, without wanting to tell them outright that he isn't a pony. I mean, he is giving hints at every chance that he can get that he isn't a pony, yet refuses to tell anyone. It's a really bizarre situation. Either you want to hide this and do your best to hide it, or you come right out and tell people and then do your best to enforce it.
This guy is all over the place and i'm confused.
Does he want them to know or not?
Monk
I'm surprised Celestia is being this patient, given that it's effectively shutting down the castle for a day. But I suppose there is nothing wrong with letting your advisors evaluate this new oddity first. He's failed the horn test so far. His diet seems suspect, and I'm not sure we've even tried testing his wings yet. I could see some people/guards suspecting changeling, poison joke, escaped nightmare from the dreamscape, transmuted creature/object, flawed mirror pool clone, Discord prank, etc.
There are many possible forms of subtle and not-so-subtle ways to evaluate him further. Personally I suggest giving him some paper and crayons, and see what he draws or writes. Will he show what his old home was like? Will the images be of what he wants or fixates on?
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I can't place where on the timeline we are off-hand. If Twilight has retrieved her crown from Sunset, they might know more about humans than he'd expect.
11342701
He might not be sure what he wants to do just yet himself. If I were dropped into a random MLP fanfic, I'd keep my cards close to my chest until I could evaluate the world better. I understand him not outright lying though. One lie is more effective than two, and zero is better than one.
11342724
I believe we are after Tirek. On his way to the doctor(?) he got a glimpse of ponyville and saw a large object that reflected too much light to see what it was. Flimsy evidence (largely because it's a break against cannon by making the castle obey physics) but if the castle did properly refract light it would be an eye hazard for all in its general area.
I wonder if he mentions humans it’ll get bad for him…
Keep it up!!!
11342806
Yes, that was a giant crystal tree thing reflecting the light. But interesting point on the dangerous reflections. I know that there were some irl cases of skyscrapers whose reflections focused the light like magnifying glasses and could melt the metal of cars parked below. That last part is a bit of random trivia not relevant to the story. We could just say that the tree isn't very reflective except on the star thingy at the top?
11342526
I forgot to research what a rose would taste like to a human, I might go back and change that part.
11342701
11342544
I can't say that I personally have much experience with social interaction or conversation so sorry if any of the interactions feel a little dry. Thanks for providing feedback on it, I might reread those section and look at what I can improve on for future chapters.
I like how Jonathan is upfront about being from Earth, and isn't trying to lie and say he's just from some random town in Equestria. That kind of deception tends to backfire pretty quickly.
Looks like this bit should be a quote? It's just kind of there in the middle of the paragraph.
11343008
Oops, thanks for the catch.
Unless something extraordinary happens to delay his meeting, It's probably best to go and meet the princesses sooner rather than later. His escort wouldn't be doing their job if they take forever. :)
The only small thing I can think of that delays the meeting, is that the guard is sent ahead to pass along the strangeness of the new pegacorn's personality. That would probably still be in the same chapter as meeting the Princesses though.
For big things I can think of loads. Maybe he gets kidnapped by changelings before he gets there. That way he never gets chance to see the Princesses. Maybe he accidentally releases Discord, if he isn't already reformed. Anything can happen.
For a second I did think the guard who was escorting them had been replaced with a changeling due to his tardiness, but that was just my dumb brain.
It's still probably best to just go and see the princesses first though.
11343038
What I mean is that the meeting is still a fixed time in the evening and the story is currently up to midday. It's more whether I should timeskip straight to that point with a short recount of the afternoon events or go over the afternoon events as their own chapter before the meeting chapter.
11343039
If he has a few hours to wander around, maybe he could bump into Blueblood? That might be interesting.
I did think of another big thing. Maybe his arrival has coincided with the crystal empire's return. They might use that as an explanation as to why he has only met earth ponies. They might then think he has some link to Sombra.
Just love coming up with random ideas me. :)
Still, I think everyone's eager for the Princesses to make an appearance. I know I'm curious to find out what they are planning.
I vote time skip.
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If you're curious, I did a google and found out that roses are apparently edible and taste like strawberries. I do know humans can eat dandelion leaves as well.
I'm still not eating one, but that's an interesting thing.
You probs don't need to change anything if he doesn't like it because of psychological reasons.
11343054
I'd probably starve since a majority of the pony menu is stuff I would rather not eat; a lot of the typical veggies just taste awful to me making me a meatatarian for the most part. But then this is also magic pony land where things taste "better" according to the fanfics (apples mainly?).
I also keep wondering about the complete lack of magic aptitude. It makes sense if you recall he, the alicorn, did not exist until a few days ago. Even without any outside help, his own body will start to grow into the wings and horn... badly. The future probably has a small army of therapists for John. It's for his own good. That and there are undoubtedly unsavory characters, both mortal and supernatural, would who take advantage of a nieve/weak alicorn unaware or unable to utilize their fullest potential.
11343088
We don't know if he lacks aptitude or not; we are not to that point by my reading of it. If his horn is like his wings there is probably nothing wrong with the horn. The problem seems to be all mental. Whatever gave him a body gave him a perfectly normal one it just didn't update the conscious mind. His mana lines are not flowing to his horn (probably wings too) because there is no analog and his subconscious doesn't even know they are there. A bit of an oversight (from the perspective of the one to give him the body; not the author).
Until he can get mana to his horn we won't know of his aptitude. Therapist probably can't help him; they might not be able to comprehend the problem. The Royal Sisters will likely be his best bet (or Cadenza).
11342998
After contemplation (and referencing a definition) i can honestly say the conversations are not dry from our end; just short. On their in story perspective the definition can fit but they seem more painfully introverted than dry.
interesting chapter
11343054
And wild rose is not only edible or usable as tea but also is an ancient vit.C suppliment - both blossoms and berries (yes, there are berries). Shoots are edible like alfafa - the young, soft part inside.
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i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/mobile/000/014/033/The_More_You_Know_0-0_screenshot.jpg
Everyone's going to be wondering who ate the Rose's in their gardens soon.
He should call himself the Prince of average. Just your boring playing normal guy. Just like a boring plane average day Joe. Every test that he does he just scores average on everything making the world question how truly special alicorns really are.
Interesting.~
-Rub
11343054
There are plenty of flowers that humans can, and do, eat. Violets are also perfectly edible, as an example. There's also a lot of berries and fruits that start out as flowers.
Well, you could write up a lil something about his lunch experience, including his reactions to others eating and what they eat... maybe learn how they eat. Follow that up with an innocent lil request to see a world map or globe, perhaps brought on by overhearing accents that sound oddly familiar to his Earth... maybe a lil history lesson with Snow, plenty of lil things for Jon to make lil slip ups about where he was from while learning about his new cage...I mean home! yes home...
<looks around hoping the commissar missed that>
i.pinimg.com/736x/f6/5a/1a/f65a1ac39459cae013480f64738ec01d.jpg
<clears throat> I like this map, but there are many.. and a bunch have huge areas that are not explored past 'here there be dragons, Really! And they don't like visitors!'
i.pinimg.com/originals/c5/dd/0d/c5dd0daf895c822d7dccbff398a68028.jpg
Liking it and I hope to see more!
You don't even need to assume that these roses taste bad to a human palate: Jonathan might simply not like them.
Just like how most people claim that beer doesn't taste horrid but I know that they are wrong.
I tried eating flowers before and they give the same feeling as when you first bite into an apple.
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I'd say vast majority of beer is either horrid or at least quite terrible and a lot have awful aftertaste which lingers for a while. But I've found a few brands and mixes where this issue either barely noticeable or not there at all like Kronenbourg 1664 Blanc.
It's a little late to comment this, but I feel that Jonathan is revealing waaay to much. He shouldn't have mentioned the human name even.
Playing dumb and saying "I can't...I can't remember anything?!" Would be a lot better than "Hi I'm Jonathan, I don't know magic, I'm the only pegacorn, we didn't have unicorns or pegasi on earth."
Edit:
He now has to explain why a 15 year old pony that grew up around other ponies doesn't know how to do anything with his forelegs (opening doors, eating, etc...).
Only just now thought about it but the memory loss excuse would work until someone went into his head. It's a lot easier to straight up show memories than just tell someone "Hey man I'm not a pony."
Trollestia approves