A frustrated writer who just wants people to like their stories.
The battle was over. Battered, bruised, and bleeding, Celestia felt pain all over her body. However, there was no pain that could compare to the one that she felt inside. She wanted her sister back and it felt like a stab at her soul knowing that she could never see her again.
Feeling the pain and knowing that they could do something to help, the Elements of Harmony provide Celestia an opportunity to spend time with her sister one last time.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This was a decent start to your story. Your prose is good from a mechanical perspective. My biggest complaint would probably be the pacing of it. You pack a lot of stuff into just 1300 words, stuff that should really have taken its time. You're dealing with a lot of heavy emotions here, but it doesn't feel like you give them enough time to simmer. Also, your cliffhanger feels a little bit lackluster. I don't know where you were imagining this story going, but making the hook a little more exciting would have been an improvement.