Name's Ellery! Feel free to look around!
The Prime Material plane of Phyrenia is one that has known much strife. Between being a dimensional powder keg due to a reckless empire of Magi, being swarmed with monsters and new species from across the multiverse both friend and foe, and being a mess of unsettled lands, ruins, and scattered feudal kingdoms, it has been hard for them to take a breather. It compensates by really having it in for a band of adventurers.
Page generated in 0.151 seconds
Total duration
721 users online
747,742 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
11347241
Get off of my story before I use my occult knowledge and set a Mezuzah upon your house...
This was a good attempt, but I have a few issues with this story as it is. If this is really meant to be a prologue, then it should focus on establishing tone, not so much detail, and yet you rushed through it and dumped way too much information too quickly. Going forward, you should take your time and give things the proper detail to get the audience invested in what you introduce.
11363241
I'm still working the kinks out in my writing. I was trying to explain the backstory of my dnd campaign world, give a quick impression of exactly who the protagonists were without being too longwinded, and also a bit of stalling to make sure I met the word count when actually putting my draft to typing. If I'd just put in what I felt was necessary, it would be NOWHERE near enough. Heck, I decided to split this into 3 chapters to give each part more pacing.
Are you ever going to write a story where the Mane Six roleplay as villains?
11370805
Perhaps...