St Trineighans School for Fillies

by SamuelK28

An Inspector Calls: Part 1 (Now the end)

Twilight Sparkle was not happy, not happy at all. Right now, she should be snuggled in a blanket with Spike in her deluxe apartment that sat atop one of the spires of Canterlot Castle. Instead, Principal Celestia had sent her on a top-secret mission to inspect Princess Luna’s school after a supposed inside source had tipped Celestia of about some alarming developments, most notably a possible outbreak of lycanthropy.

Now, Twilight had been to Luna’s school once before with Celestia and was well aware it was a little peculiar, so took the fact werewolves were real remarkably well she felt (There had only been several minutes of hyperventilating into a brown paper bag). What had startled her more was the fact her mentor suspected that her sister and co-ruler was involved in many unscrupulous and black-market activities, with the school being the central hub for them all. The problem Celestia had always had though was gathering evidence that she could then confront her sister about, her sister was not only exceptional at clearing her tracks but also centred her operations in a castle in the middle of an impenetrable forest that could only be accessed on hoof. That one Celestia had admitted to Twilight had been her fault although it did at least mean that none of the more dangerous students could escape. Even so, she had expected her sister to help and nurture troubled fillies, not push them further into a life of crime!

Anyway, as Twilight had seen first-hoof, the only time Celestia could get near the school was the annual pre-arranged independent inspection. This gave Luna ample time to ensure anything she did not want her sister to see was covered up until she left and Twilight had to admit looking back on the visit, the pupils did seem to be trying overly hard to impress them. In fact, the overly enthusiastic and somewhat unnerving positivity of the school’s students had been what she found so peculiar about the place but until now she had been unable to unearth that memory. Very peculiar and now that she thought about it, she realised there was actually not much she could remember about the visit at all. Did this suggest her mentor’s wild accusations surrounding her sister might actually hold some truth to them? She might never know, as currently it looked like this fucking forest would be the death of her but only after she murdered the idiotic Pegasus with odd coloured eyes, one a reddish pink, one green with an unnatural black sclera, who had guaranteed her she could successfully traverse the forest and bring her safely to the school.

Unfortunately for Twilight, she hadn’t had much choice. According to Celestia, Luna had ponies everywhere, the last thing they wanted to do was tip her of to the surprise inspection. On top of that, none of the superstitious locals dared step anywhere near the forest if they could help it. Thus, Twilight had been stuck with one Rainbow Reckless Dash, a newbie to the area with less brains than a pigeon and who would say yes to anything if it earnt her a quick bit. The scars and needle marks along with her odd colour eyes and rainbow hair should all have been warning signs that Twilight should have heeded to and inevitably led to an immediate U-turn back to Canterlot. But she hadn’t and now two days on from that fateful first meeting at the break of dawn at the edge of the Everfree forest they were lost in the midst of one of the most dangerous places in Equestria having come face to face with everything from timberwolves to manticores, giant spiders to pony eating plants, and everything else you can think of in-between that would like nothing more than to have pony for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Oh, and if that wasn’t enough, it had started to rain so hard that not even the dense canopy was able to prevent all the rain from reaching them. Their tent had also been torn to pieces by the manticore surprising them the previous night so they didn’t even have that to help try and keep them dry. It had not taken more than a minute after the rain had begun for Twilight to be drenched head to hoof and push her mood to beyond breaking point as dawn neared on the third day.

“Not long now Miss Sparkle, just a little further,” Dash said for the umpteenth time Twilight could remember since they’d started this hopeless quest. “Should be just through these… ah,”

“What now?” Twilight snapped.

“Well, the good news is I found the school,” Dash chuckled nervously.

“And the bad news?” Twilight deadpanned not in the least amused.

“Cockatrices, a whole flock, we’re surrounded.”

“I’ve already sent a scout back to the school. You’ve ten seconds to surrender and tell me who you are and what you are doing here before I instruct them to close in and turn you into garden ornaments,” Scootaloo demanded coldly.

*

The noise in the crowd was deafening as Moon attempted valiantly to make herself heard over the din

“Okay, I hope by now you all know how this goes down but just a quick summary in case. Everypony has one fight a week except the odd one out who has a rest week and operates the commentary booth for us alongside Screwball. The two wrestlers will be sealed in a magical bubble by Vice Principal Glimmer and fight it out until one of you either taps out, is unable to continue fighting or if the fight is timed out. Each fight will last no more than ten minutes and Starlight’s call is final. The only rule is strictly no silver and if possible, try not to rip each other’s limbs of, I would prefer it if the audience kept their lunches in their stomachs, especially as the more bits we make, the greater the prize pool at the end of the year. Magic is permitted to make the fights more interesting and a running table shall be kept to determine positional fights at the end of the year with trophies and bits handed out to the top four fighters. We all clear and ready for a bit of stress relief?” Moon clarified swiftly.

The werewolves in front of Moon all looked like they were ready to let out a deafening howl but just about managed to withhold their enthusiasm for now and instead gave her rapid nods of agreement.

“Excellent, then up first…”

The doors to the sports hall slammed open.

“ME AND YOU, NOW!” Blood Moon roared storming into the hall and jabbing a claw in Moon Moon’s direction.

“B-B-Blood Moon, I wasn’t expecting you here,” Moon Moon stammered in response, taken by surprise by the sudden interruption.

“Cut the crap, I know you sent your mum after me in an attempt to force me to join your pathetic little werewolf club,” Blood Moon practically yelled in Moon Moon’s face.

“What? I did nothing of the…”

WHACK

Gasps reverberated around the Sports Hall.

“She didn’t?” Apple Bloom said, disbelieving what her own eyes had just seen.

“She did,” Ruby deadpanned in reply, letting out a deep growl and baring her fangs.

“Easy Rubes,” Moon Moon said in an attempt to calm her friend down. Four fresh claw marks now sported Moon Moon’s left cheek, blood dripping from said cheek onto the sports hall floor below.

“I can see you are upset and so I will forget…”

WHACK

Four more claw marks adorned Moon Moon’s right cheek.

“If you really are their so-called Princess, prove it,” Blood Moon growled before turning and heading to the ring. “FIGHT ME… or would you rather go running crying to your harlot of a mother here?” She jabbed a hoof in Starlight’s direction, the vice principal looking just as shocked as everypony else at that last comment.

Moon Moon closed her eyes and tried desperately to take some deep breaths as the rage that was known to dwell and fester like a gaping wound inside all werewolves started to overwhelm her. It was no use. Her eyes shot open blazing red as her mind went blank and one sole emotion took hold of her, rage.

“Got ya,” Blood Moon muttered under her breath with a sly smirk as the other werewolf hurtled towards her.

*

Dearest Lulu,

Due to some concerning rumours surrounding an outbreak of Lycanthropy at St Trineighans, I have reluctantly decided to send Miss Sparkle here on my behalf to conduct an immediate surprise inspection of the school, as I am within my rights to do so under section 5 subsection 3 of the Equestrian Education Association Guidelines. Please treat my star pupil with respect,

Yours sincerely, Celestia

“Well played sister, well played,” Luna muttered under her breath. She turned to Twilight, screwed up the letter into a ball with her magic and then threw it into the stunned unicorn’s face. “So, why are you really here?”

“E-e-excuse me?” Twilight stammered.

“You heard me. Why are you really here? My sister knows I have full control over beasts of the night such as werewolves and that there would be no pony better capable in the whole of Equestria to deal with a supposed outbreak, not that there is one at the school. I hate to tell you this Miss Sparkle but my sister is sick in the head. She’s been paranoid for centuries that I’m conducting unholy evils at the school when all I’m actually doing is providing underprivileged fillies like Scootaloo here the opportunity to receive a decent education and a better chance at life. So, if you’ve come here to spy Miss Sparkle, you might as well turnaround and head back the way you’ve come, because I can assure you that you’ll find nothing amiss or out of the ordinary here compared to any other school,” Luna finished bluntly.

Of course, that was the exact moment one of the walls of the Sports Hall exploded in a mass of masonry behind Luna.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Luna sighed putting on a seriously fake smile for Twilight, not even bothering to turn around and assess just what act of mayhem was on today’s menu. “I do apologise, Wednesday is Werewolf Wrestling. It’s a new activity I’ve introduced to hopefully help our werewolves release a bit of stress and aggression. This first session must have just got a little out of…”

“IS THAT AN ALICORN!” Twilight screamed, not paying Luna any attention whatsoever and instead pointing towards Moon Moon who was leisurely floating out of the gaping hole in the Sports Hall wall.

“Double fuck,” Luna cursed.

“Yep, a doodle doo. That’s Moon Moon, Luna’s daughter and Princess of all Werewolves,” Screwball explained, seemingly appearing out of nowhere again. “And the werewolf that just crash landed over there is Blood Moon, she’s been a very naughty girl and needs punishing. I’d use a whip myself but Moony prefers the more hooves on approach.”

“D-daughter?” Twilight blubbered; her mind barely able to comprehend what Screwball had just told her.

“Triple fuck,” Luna swore yet again as Scootaloo’s forehead hit one of her forehooves. “Thank you, Miss Ball, for enlightening us,” she continued. “But what did I tell you about speaking to strangers?”

“Not to,” Screwball replied with a shrug of her shoulders as a malevolent grin crossed her muzzle. “But it’s more fun if I do.”

Twilight did not like the sound of that and without even thinking twice about it turned and bolted for the deadly forest she had been trying desperately to escape from the past two days. Or she would have if her hooves weren’t now stuck to the ground with a sticky pink substance. Instead, she went tumbling into the pink goop.

“Oh, what’s the rush? I thought you wanted to play?” Screwball said in a sickly-sweet tone, the swirling pools of chaos that made up her eyes locking onto Twilight’s as the lavender mare tried hopelessly to fight her way out of the sticky pink goop.

Gradually Twilight’s struggles ceased as Screwball floated down to her, the lavender filly’s muzzle opening way wider than it naturally should be able to and revealing a set of extremely sharp and deadly teeth. It was just as Screwball reached the ground that her concentration was broken as something hard slammed into the side of her face.

Screwball turned and hissed angrily, like a hungry snake interrupted in the middle of ensnaring its prey, only for something to be shoved into her muzzle.

“Screwball, how many times do I have to tell you not to go more than an hour without any sugar, it makes you cranky,” Scootaloo scolded as Screwball threw her hooves around her friend’s neck and pulled her in for a hug.

“Thanks, Scooty Wooty, I needed that,” Screwball giggled.

“Don’t mention it. As for you,” Scootaloo said, directing her attention towards Twilight; who had now added her own vomit to the pink goop from being subjected to Screwball’s chaos magic.

Scootaloo was just about to proceed in turning Twilight to stone when a much larger hoof rested on her back.

“I’ll handle her,” Luna said stoically. “As you can see Miss Sparkle, it was very unwise of you to come here unannounced. If you and your mentor want the truth, this is not just a school but a psychiatric facility for the most mentally disturbed fillies across Equestria and beyond, as you have just witnessed first hoof. St. Trineighans is as much about rehabilitation as it is about a traditional education with our location chosen to minimise the risk to the surrounding population. If my sister wants control of my school that’s fine but let me warn you Miss Sparkle that what you have here is a school full of monsters, many of which wouldn’t think twice about torturing and killing you. Now, if you do value your life, I suggest you duck. Miss Sweetie Belle has joined the fight.”

Twilight smartly chose to heed the alicorn’s advice as the pre-dawn darkness was shattered by an enormous ball of flame that exploded on a tree behind her and sent flames shooting everywhere that were quickly extinguished by the relentless tirade of rain that had soaked Luna as soon as she’d stepped hoof out of the castle.

“MISS BELLE, WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT PLAYING WITH FIRE NEAR THE FOREST!” Luna bellowed.

All she received in reply was a fireball directed at her head as Sweetie, Ruby and a few others tried to stop a totally loco Moon Moon from tearing Blood Moon into so many pieces that not even a werewolf could recover from the damage.

“Could use a little help if you wouldn’t mind!” Ruby yelled as Moon Moon clamped her jaws on her fore leg. “Blood Moon has made her see AAAAAAAHHHHH!”

Luna winced at the scream that was accompanied by the sound of bone shattering as her daughter’s jaws crushed one of her best friends’ leg. She was just about to get involved when somepony beat her to it. A rainbow blur cannoned into Moon and sent her flying into the distance.

“Woah,” Luna exclaimed turning once more to Twilight. “Did you know she could do that?”

Twilight didn’t reply, her focus entirely on Rainbow Dash, mouth floundering to make anything coherent come out of it.

“I guess not,” Luna deadpanned. “Now, excuse me while I go see to my daughter.”

She turned and gave Scootaloo a brief look which, without a single spoken word, gave the filly a clear message, keep an eye on her. And then her attention was back on her daughter, who was just picking herself out of the rubble of the wall of the castle she had crashed into.

“MOONABELLA ASTRA STARMOON, JUST WHAT IN BLAZES DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!” Luna roared.

Moon stopped in her tracks and her eyes immediately reverted back to cyan. She looked sheepishly in her mother’s direction before rapidly assessing all her possible avenues of escape.

“Uh oh,” Screwball said with a grimace to Scootaloo. “Full name. She’s in a LOT of trouble.”

“Agreed. What I would like to know is just what Blood Moon did to cause such a reaction?” Scootaloo asked Screwball.

“Long story short, she stormed into the hall and started making a scene, accusing Moon Moon of sending her mother to try and force Blood Moon into joining her club. Blood Moon proceeded to try and challenge Moon to a fight by hitting her twice but Moon Moon refused to take the bait. That was until she called Starlight a harlot in front of most of the school.”

Luna had just been about to confront her daughter before she had a chance to flee but stopped in her tracks upon hearing what Screwball had to say. “Wait what? I never did anything of the sort,” she exclaimed. “I think Miss Blood Moon has some explaining to do but first I need to deal with my daughter.”

“I’m here mum,” Moon Moon said with a sniffle.

Having come to her senses at last, it hadn’t taken Moon long to realise that running away and barricading herself in her dormitory would, almost certainly, only make her mum even more mad at her and result in a heftier punishment. Thus, she had decided to simply get the inevitable over with whilst acting as pitiful and sorry as she could to try and minimise said punishment.

“If I turn around and see the puppy dog expression, fuck Miss Snoopy Sparkle over there and my bitch of a sister, I’m locking you in the school dungeon for a week chained upside down to the wall and with nothing but bread and water to eat and drink, if you’re lucky. 3…2…1,” Luna said turning around to face her daughter.

In that moment Moon Moon wondered if fleeing to the Northern Mountains and living the rest of her life in solitude as a hermit might well have been the better option. But then the stern expression on her mum’s face softened as she saw the state of her daughter’s face and Moon finally remembered how to breathe once more.

“Blood Moon really did number on your face, didn’t she? Those are definitely going to leave a mark,” Luna said, unable to mask the motherly concern in her voice.

“You should see what I did to her in retaliation,” Moon Moon replied before she could stop herself.

Luna chuckled, approaching her daughter and lifting Moon’s chin with a hoof. “I heard it was only once your mother’s honour was insulted that you truly flew of the handle?”

Moon Moon’s cheeks started to go red and it wasn’t solely from the blood that stained and still dripped down her face.

“Nice to know family honour means something to you although that still doesn’t excuse your actions. I think an extra anger management class for all werewolves is in order every Magicday from here on out,” Luna stated calmly as she used a royal blue hanky to try and clean her delinquent daughter’s face.

The expression of hope on Moon’s Moon’s face that she might get out of this situation with only a heavy telling off immediately disappeared. “But, but, my subjects are already reluctant to follow me. Forcing them to attend an extra weekend class because I messed up and stupidly let Blood Moon get to me will just make them outright hate me!” Moon practically wailed with despair.

“Precisely, which is why I’m doing exactly that to not only try and prevent a future outburst but show you that your actions can and will likely have significant consequences that you will then have to overcome, especially now that you are a ruler. Take this as the first of many lessons you will learn and challenges you will have to overcome during countless years of service to your subjects, understood?” Luna replied, not wavering in the slightest.

“Yes mum,” Moon Moon responded dejectedly as her mother continued to clean her face.

“Good. My word she really did cut you deep, we’re going to need to get Zecora to apply stitches to these,” Luna said, temporarily distracted before she cleared her throat and continued applying the rest of her daughter’s punishment. “After which, you will then not be going to bed until you’ve helped me fix the mess you’ve made and apologised to both Miss Sparkle over there, who has just arrived having been sent by my sister to do a surprise inspection of the school and assess the lycanthropy outbreak, and Miss Pinch whose leg you just shattered with your teeth,” Luna ended firmly, not allowing their relationship to impair her judgement.

“But, but, wait, who?” Moon said as the gravity of the situation registered in her brain. “Oh fuck.”

“Although I would usually scold you for such language, I think that sums up this situation nicely, especially as prior to five minutes ago, only those in the school knew I not only had a daughter but that she was also an alicorn,” Luna deadpanned looking less than pleased as she finally finished cleaning her daughter’s face, to the best of her ability, and let her go. “So, go ahead, introduce yourself,” she said, pointing in Twilight’s direction.

Moon let out a sigh and for the first time turned and acknowledged the newcomer to the school.

Twilight, who had finally given up trying to escape her prison of pink goop, looked at her expectantly.

“Wait, why is she covered in gum?” Moon exclaimed.

“This is gum, ewwwww,” Twilight replied, desperately trying once more to escape her prison.

“Bubble gum to be precise,” Screwball replied in an uninterested drone whilst laying lazily on a cloud that hovered a few feet of the ground. She proceeded to throw a piece of said gum into her mouth having run out of chocolate to eat.

“Ew, ew, ew, it’s everywhere,” Twilight wailed, only making things worse by increasing her struggling.

Luna rolled her eyes and turned her attention to Screwball. “Miss Ball, if you’d be so kind.”

“Okey, dokey, lokey. If you’re sure she won’t try and do a runner again,” Screwball responded clapping her forehooves together. The bubblegum immediately disappeared aside a small amount that still resided in Twilight’s mane.

“Sorry about that. Now, introductions…” Luna began only for a dishevelled and rather battered looking Blood Moon to appear out of nowhere and launch herself at Twilight.

Twilight screamed and closed her eyes expecting the worse only to slowly realise it wasn’t forthcoming. She tentatively opened one eye to see the werewolf frozen in mid-air mere millimetres from her flank.

“Seriously, you really thought that was going to work? I could smell you a mile off,” Luna said flatly before turning to Twilight once more. “I’m sorry about that. White Potato here is one of our more troubled students. Apologise to Miss Sparkle this instant for your behaviour young Miss,” she added placing White Potato or Blood Moon as she now preferred to be called into an impenetrable ball of blue magic.

White Potato, aka Blood Moon, having quickly realised she’d been lured into a trap and that there was now no escape from her prison, decided to do the only rebellious things that she could think of in her current predicament. She stuck her tongue out at Luna defiantly, then raised her rear end and mooned the Moon Princess before slumping onto her rump and turning her back on Luna.

“Suit yourself,” Luna said with a shrug of her shoulders. “How many times have you attempted suicide in the past eighteen months by the way? Seven if I’m correct and am I not also correct in saying that one of the main reasons you stopped was because you’re a werewolf and aside from silver or practically impossible levels of bodily damage, death is impossible,” Luna said nonchalantly.

Blood Moon, interest piqued, turned her head and gave Luna her best death glare. She’d heard a similar lecture a number of times before and it always ended with a so-called choice for her. It was never really a choice though, rather obey or suffer a severe punishment.

“I see I have your attention so I will continue. I’ve seen on several occasions you coming back to life and it appears neither pleasant nor painless, so I’m going to ask you again, apologise to Miss Sparkle for your behaviour or I shall cut the oxygen supply from that bubble until you do,” Luna said coldly. “So, what will it be?”

Blood Moon spat in Luna’s direction before reluctantly turning her death glare in Twilight’s direction. “I’m sorry for trying to bite you, it was wrong of me to do so,” she grumbled unhappily, not meaning one word of what she said.

“Excellent, now, as for the rest of your punishment, you shall not only be attending an anger management class alongside your fellow brethren on Magicday from here on out but you’ll also not be going to bed until you’ve helped tidy up the mess you and Moon have created, understood?” Luna said firmly.

Blood Moon turned and locked her one good eye back on Luna. For a moment the two were at an impasse as an awkward silence fell over the field. And then Blood Moon lowered her head in defeat.

“Fine,” she grumbled mutinously.

“Excellent, and one more thing, I’m appointing you my daughter’s Royal Advisor and Confidant,” Luna replied.

“WHAT!” Blood Moon and Moon Moon both exclaimed as one.

“But she hates me!” Moon Moon tried to argue.

“For once I have to agree with her. I absolutely despise her and what she is. Heck, if you hadn’t got it hidden away somewhere under lock and key after my last attempt, I’d have already tried to slip some silver nightshade in her food or drink,” Blood Moon admitted.

“See, she doesn’t even deny…wait what?” Moon Moon began, only for it to dawn on her just what Blood Moon was saying. “You do realise what you just admitted to, don’t you?”

“And you realise that I’ve been transformed into one of the very monsters that killed my entire family. I plan to eradicate the werewolf plague from this world or die trying, I don’t really care which,” Blood Moon openly admitted with a shrug of her shoulders. “Why do you think I’m trying to bite her, for fun?” she said, thrusting a claw in Twilight’s direction. Celestia would have a fit if her prize pupil was turned into a werewolf. The fallout would be astronomical.”

Moon’s jaw dropped and she slowly turned to face her mother. “YOU WANT ME TO HANG OUT WITH A PONY THAT WANTS TO MURDER ME AND MY SUBJECTS!” she screamed. “WHAT IN TARTARUS MUM, ARE YOU INSANE?”

Luna simply stared emotionlessly back at her daughter for a moment before replying calmly, “Why yes, yes, I am but I am also hopeful that overtime you two will be able to overcome your differences and become good friends and if not, it is always wise dear daughter to keep your enemies close. Count that as your second lesson today. So, you can either accept my appointment or, if you’d prefer, I can have the two of you betrothed and married once you turn sixteen. Your choice.”

Moon Moon’s right eye twitched. “You, you, can’t do that!” she whined.

“Actually, I can. A betrothal requires the consent of the parents or guardians of both foals along with royal authorisation from myself or my sister. As Blood Moon stated, she has no remaining living family making her the responsibility of the country. More specifically, she was signed over to my care by my sister and the head of foal protective services. Thus, if I wanted to…” Luna trailed off with an impish grin.

“Oh mare, she got you good,” Blood Moon quipped from her prison after letting out a snigger of amusement.

“You’re not helping!” Moon Moon snapped, sending a scathing glare Blood Mooon’s way.

“Why should I?” Blood Moon retorted, totally unfazed with a shrug of her shoulders.

“Do you want us to be betrothed?” Moon Moon snapped in reply.

Blood Moon shrugged her shoulders. “Doesn’t bother me as either way it’s almost certain at least one of us won’t make it to their sixteenth birthday anyway. At worst, we’ll have a killer honeymoon.”

Moon Moon’s eyes widened and she stared at Blood Moon, then at her mother and then proceeded to jab a hoof in Blood Moon’s direction.

“Oh, stop being so melodramatic and choose before I do for you, you’re keeping our esteemed guest waiting and we’re all getting soaked and a chill from standing here in the rain,” Luna reprimanded sharply.

Moon Moon took a deep breath and stared up into the rain. Then, she abruptly turned and addressed Blood Moon through gritted teeth. “Congratulations on your appointment as Royal Advisor and Confident, I look forward to working with you.”

Blood Moon smirked. “Cool. As your newly appointed Royal Advisor, I advise you to stab yourself in the heart with a silver sword to remove yourself from this awkward situation.”

Moon Moon slumped to her rump open mouthed in total shock at how brazen this bitch was. This time Moon Moon threw both her forehooves in Blood Moon’s direction as she stared pleadingly at her mother in hope Luna would allow her to reverse the proclamation.

No such luck.

“What did I just tell you about being overdramatic? Don’t make me go through with the betrothal as well,” Luna warned.

Moon Moon, wisely opting not to push her luck any further, chose the only course of rebellious action she had left at her disposal, crossing her forehooves across her chest and have a good sulk.

Luna ignored her daughter’s childish reaction and continued. “Besides, she wouldn’t actually kill you or allow any serious harm to befall you, otherwise she’d spend the next thousand years writhing in agony begging for death at my hoof. Think of her as an extra layer of protection that knows a fate a thousand times worse than death awaits her if she should fail in her added duty to protect you from harm.”

The smirk on Blood Moon’s face fell away in an instant, replaced with a large, extremely nervous gulp as Luna sent an extremely unnerving smile her way that was accompanied by one of her forehooves making a slicing motion across her throat.

Moon Moon meanwhile went from sulking to burying her head in her forehooves, no longer sure just how to react to her overprotective mother’s antics.

“Now that that’s sorted, I do believe we’ve been very rudely ignoring our esteemed guest who has been waiting very patiently for you to introduce yourself,” Luna said in a more casual tone, returning her attention back to Twilight.

“Oh,” Twilight said nervously breaking into the conversation and realising she should have been doing a lot less gawking at the mother daughter squabble and a lot more running for her life. “Don’t mind me, I’m just going to…”

“Hi new friend!” Pinkie exclaimed, materialising through the ground in an explosion of confetti.

“GAH!” Twilight screamed leaping into the air.

Luna felt yet another headache coming along, she’d been having a lot of those recently. Or maybe this time it was simply the spark of flame that had caught her mane from one of Sweetie’s fireballs that had somehow so far avoided being extinguished by the torrential downpour. She swiftly put it out. Either way, this surprise visit and inspection couldn’t have got off to a worse start.

“Sorry, I was distracted helping Rarity calm down Sweetie before she attempted to burn down the rest of the school. Rarity and Starlight are just disbanding the last of the students now. Thankfully, it seems that aside from Ruby’s leg, nopony else was seriously harmed, just very, very wet. We’ve instructed them to head to the dining hall to dry off and get a good meal into them,” Limestone panted, racing over as Sweetie ambled along next to her, no longer on fire and happily sucking on a lollipop. “Pinkie, how many times do I have to repeat myself, wait and I’ll introduce you if it is safe to do so. We have no idea who she is or why she’s here.”

“Thanks Limestone and this is Miss Twilight Sparkle, who has been sent here by my sister to do a surprise inspection of the school and to see what measures have been put in place to curb the lycanthropy outbreak,” Luna deadpanned.

“Ah,” Limestone replied.

“Ah indeed,” Luna replied. “Miss Sparkle, this here is our Home Economics teachers, Miss Limestone Pie and the ghost is her sister Pinkamena.”

“Hello, please call me Pinkie. Only squares, Lulu and my mum call me Pinkamena,” Pinkie giggled floating in front of Twilight, who was no longer paying the ghost any attention, instead staring straight through her at her disfigured sister.

“Why don’t you take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Limestone growled as her one good eye flashed yellow for just a moment.

“Oooh, I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Miss Grumpy Pants bite is just as bad as her bark,” Pinkie whispered into Twilight’s ear that sent a chill down the unicorn’s spine.

“Pinkie, just because I’ve only got one good ear doesn’t mean I can’t hear you,” Limestone growled as sparks started to fly of her hooves.

Luna attempted to intervene. “Miss Sparkle, although you are a guest here and have not encountered our Home Economics teacher before, might I please remind you that it is extremely rude to stare along with the fact that it is not just our students who have difficulty fitting in with normal society.”

Twilight’s cheeks started to take on a rosy hue as she lowered herself to the ground. “Please forgive me Miss, it was extremely rude of me to stare.”

The sparks immediately went out as Limestone stared at Twilight, totally taken aback by the other mare’s actions. “Huh, no need to be so formal egghead but thanks all the same, you’re all right. Also, you might want to brace yourself, Screwloose is coming and she’s not overly keen on strangers.”

“Screw…”

“BARK, BARK, GROWL.”

“GAHHHHH,” Twilight screamed once more as a pale blue pony barrelled into her and pinned her to the ground.

“Quadruple fuck,” Luna groaned, wondering how much alcohol she would need to consume to forget this mess ever happened and if there would be anyway to bribe Miss Sparke not to spill the school’s secrets to Celestia. “Screwball, would you mind calling of your mother please.”

“Sorry,” Screwball giggled, not in the least bit sorry. “She gets overprotective of me around strange adults she doesn’t recognise. It’s okay mum, Twilight’s a friend, for now,” she added with a wicked smile across her face as she pulled out an exact replica of Twilight in squeaky toy form and pressed it to catch her mother’s attention. “How about we leave the grown-ups to discuss the boring stuff and go play fetch.” She pressed the toy once more and then launched it halfway across the open field.

Screwloose, attention hooked, immediately bolted after it in the rain.

“Just be warned Miss Sparkle, one word from Principal Lulu and that squeaky toy becomes you. Have a pleasant day,” Screwball cautioned before finishing with yet another disturbing smile and floating away on her cloud after her mother.

Twilight shuddered as a distant voice with a Canterlot twang echoed across the playing fields.

“Yow, who’s throwing dog toys at me? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH,” Rarity screamed followed by a loud splash.

“Aw, mum found another bitch to play with,” Screwball cooed.

“SCREWBALL, get your mother of me this instant or so help me I’ll have you in detention with Vice Principal Glimmer until the day you graduate,” Rarity roared angrily, now not only sopping wet but covered in mud as well.

Luna, having already had enough for one night in the past half an hour alone, decided to tune out and leave Rarity and Starlight to deal with Screwball and Screwloose.

“Sorry about that,” Luna apologised for the third time to her guest, not even bothering to explain to Twilight this time. She needed a strong drink and fast, there was literally no way this situation could get any worse. “I think it is high time we head inside for dinner, then you two are going to spend at least the next several hours helping me fix up the Sports Hall and whatever else you’ve damaged,” Luna commanded, firing a hoof first in Moon Moon’s direction and then in Blood Moon’s, who was still imprisoned in the magical bubble. She then turned and faced Twilight. “We’ll talk and arrange a schedule over dinner and I’ll have Vice Principal Starlight escort you to your quarters afterwards. I believe you met her on your previous visit if my memory serves me correctly.”

“She’s the mute mare who looks remarkably similar to myself and uses signs to communicate, correct? We had a fascinating discussion regarding the origin of magic. I would love to continue that,” Twilight said enthusiastically, thoughts of being brutally murdered by an insane filly in this lunatic asylum momentarily pushed to the back of her mind.

“Excellent, then you and your guide can bunk with Starlight in her quarters. I must warn you though not to wander around without another teacher to escort you, as I cannot promise your safety if you do and the last thing I need is my sister up my arse because you stupidly got yourself killed snooping around my school. Understood,” Luna finished coldly.

And just like that the thoughts Twilight had just managed to repress were immediately returned to the forefront of her mind. As words once again failed to form in her mouth, she instead simply shook her head up and down in acknowledgement. Just what had her mentor got her into!

“Brilliant, then all that is left to do before we head inside is for my daughter to introduce herself to you. I’m waiting…”

“Can’t a damn Pegasus get any peace, I’ve only just got the early years fed and into their dorms…WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE SPORTS HALL!” Lightning Dust exclaimed appearing on the scene. “And who the hell is…”

“Hi sis.”

Lightning Dust froze mid-air, nearly forgetting to fly as she slowly turned and faced the glistening rainbow pony behind her. Even in spite of her look, there was no way she wouldn’t recognise her own sister.

“I-I-I,” Dust stammered before in a flash Dash sent her cartwheeling out of control into a tree at the edge of the forest.

“Go fuck yourself. That’s for our parents. This is from me,” Dash said solemnly as a beam of magic shot out of her green eye.

Dust sighed, closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable. When all that arrived was a loud explosion that didn’t result in her demise, she tentatively opened them to see her sister pounding on an impenetrable bubble.

“I’ve no idea what the buck is going on right now but you can’t just go around vaporising my subjects,” Moon Moon scolded, breathing heavily from the magical strain before turning and smiling at her mother who did likewise back as Dash continued to slam relentlessly on the bubble.

“That’s my filly,” Luna said proudly.

“It’s no use, I’ve tried,” Blood Moon quipped, moping in her own bubble prison.

Dash wasn’t listening. “Let me at her. Let me at her. She killed them. They are dead because of her. She needs to pay, please just…” and then, finally, she broke and collapsed onto the floor of the bubble sobbing uncontrollably as Lightning rather gingerly pulled herself from the remains of the tree.

“Wait, what?” Lightning enquired, eyes going wide.

Dash just continued sobbing on the floor of the bubble as she slowly returned to her natural form.

“Okay, now even I am at a total loss. Kindly like to explain why your guide just tried to kill one of my teachers?” Luna asked Twilight who looked just as stunned as most the other ponies in the near vicinity. “I guess not. Come on, let’s head to my office. Miss Sparkle, you might want to stand next to me so that Miss Potato doesn’t get any ideas when I release her.”

Even before she had finished the sentence, Twilight was glued to Luna’s side, when, of course, another couple of ponies just had to make an inopportune appearance.

“Like, anyone like to explain what’s going on. Me and Fluttershy were just mellowing out with Manuel here, relaxing, having a bit of nip and then we start to hear loud explosions. Initially we thought it was some bad…”

“Mrs. Tree Hugger,” Luna said through gritted teeth, suddenly remembering it was Wingsday which meant Fluttershy got part of the night of to “relax” with her friend. “This is Miss Sparkle. She has come to do a surprise inspection of the school on behalf of my sister due to the lycanthropy outbreak.”

“Oh, so you want Manuel to eat her then,” Tree Hugger replied, as usual, higher than Cloudsdale and completely misreading the situation.

Fluttershy giggled, also totally off her trolley.

Luna’s forehoof met her forehead wishing for a second that somepony would find that one ancient dark magic tainted sword and chop her head of with it.

Manuel, the extremely large Manticore, licked his extremely large teeth, eyeing Twilight up hungrily as she dived under Luna for protection. The ponynip had given him the munchies.

Twilight gulped nervously, cowering underneath Luna. Why, oh why did Celestia have to send her to this mad-house?

Author's Note:

I hope you enjoyed this final hurrah. I wrote this before realising I needed to do the chapter before for the story to make sense. Even though the second half of the last part only got half done and won't be completed or released, I felt those few who did like this story might enjoy this. Why is Dash so mad at Dust? If you must know, my idea was that Dust was a reckless wild, child, with no concern for safety and as such, constantly causing problems at school because of it and this led to numerous expulsions resulting in the only school left being a private one for the foals of what would be classed as the upper class of Cloudsdale. One huge mess later that resulted in the wrong filly getting seriously hurt and Dust ends up at Luna's school whilst her parents are left with paying off a huge debt because of their daughter. This leads to Dust and Dash's father literally working himself to death and a year later, still under a mountain of debt and having never gotten over her husband's death, their mother commits suicide. The debt then passed onto Dash who did whatever she could to pay it off, including a wide range of questionable experiments.

Comments

[PonyofEntropy]

Alas, we wish thee well.

[sjo3989]

Thanks for the update, sorry to see its the last. I hope to continue reading your stories in the future.