St Trineighans School for Fillies

by SamuelK28

Day 3 Part 3: Drugs are no Joke

“Gah,” Ruby gagged as the group of friends settled down for lunch. “I can still taste that salty monstrosity now. I told you that was salt not sugar,” she grumbled to Moon.

“Well, she might not have made us eat any of it if you hadn’t forced the whole slice into her muzzle with your magic,” Moon retorted.

“Apples!” Scootaloo added to the conversation followed by a loud belch before her eyes closed and she fell silent once more atop Apple Bloom’s back.

“Damn lightweight,” Apple Bloom grumbled as she lowered Scootaloo gently to the floor to sleep off her apple pie hangover whilst she had lunch.

Another benefit for Apple Bloom since arriving at the school had been a bit of variation to her diet and the chance to try new things. Though she thoroughly enjoyed apples, having them for practically every meal for most your life can get a tad boring after a while, not that she’d ever admit it! Tonight’s delicacy for lunch was vegetable curry.

“Oh, like you didn’t want me to do that?” Ruby countered across the table as Apple Bloom sat down. “And that was only after you pushed her to try it. You could have just admitted it was terrible and asked your mum for forgiveness but oh no, little miss rebellious just had to…”

“ENOUGH!” Apple Bloom roared slamming a hoof on the table as she sat down. “I’ve had enough of you two bickering like two old mares. If you shake hooves and laugh the whole thing of right now, I’ll give you both a hand writing those essays in the library later whilst Scootaloo has detention with Rarity. But only if you give my ears a rest, deal?”

Her two friends looked across at her eyes wide.

It was Moon who spoke first. “Wait, you’d do that for me? You hardly even know me.”

Apple Bloom shrugged her shoulders. “Any friend of Ruby’s is a friend of mine.”

“But you’ve hardly known her much longer!” Moon argued.

“Fine, write them yourselves then,” Apple Bloom said testily as she poured a large portion of vegetables in a brownish orange sauce atop a mountain of yellow rice.

Moon stared at Apple Bloom for a moment longer and then turned to Ruby. “Okay, so I’m sorry I can’t tell the difference between sugar and salt, can’t crack an egg open properly to save my life and am totally rubbish at baking because not even once did my damn parents show me how to,” Moon admitted with a tear in her eye. She was about to continue her tirade but Luna’s voice behind her stopped her in her tracks.

“Well, you only had to ask. How about instead of an essay we have a practical lesson. You, me and your two friends because, to tell you the truth, I can’t bake either. I never told you the story of how shortly after you were born, I attempted to bake your mother a cake for her birthday. Gave her the mega trots for a…”

Luna stopped mid-sentence as a deceptively sweet voice whispered in her ear, “I told you what would happen if you ever told any pony that story. Go change into your maid outfit and clean the castle for the next hour.”

“Yes, Vice Principal Glimmer. Whatever you say Vice Principal Glimmer,” Luna responded before disappearing in a puff of dark blue smoke.

Don’t worry, it’ll wear off in fifteen minutes. Alicorn’s unfortunately have a greater resistance to my power. We’ll see you in the Home Economics classroom after classes finished. A mother daughter baking session sounds like a wonderful idea! Starlight said to the fillies via one of her trademark signs. She followed this up by wrapping her forehooves around Moon and giving her daughter a kiss on the top of her head before releasing her and trotting off to have her own lunch.

Moon’s head hit the table. “What have I done?”

“Wait,” Apple Bloom queried through a mouthful of curry. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

Moon reluctantly raised her head. “You don’t understand. I wanted one of my parents to teach me how to bake,” she lamented before slamming her head multiple times on the table. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” she repeated over and over again.

Apple Bloom, totally at a loss, turned to a sniggering Ruby for assistance.

“You see, as you may have guessed Moon’s parents aren’t a couple. They tried to make it work for Moon’s sake but it didn’t work out,” Ruby began.

“Okay,” Apple Bloom replied, “So, I’m guessing that the whole acting nice around each other in public thing is a show and just for the benefit of the school when really, they despise each other’s guts?” Apple Bloom guessed.

“Nowhere close,” Ruby replied. “They are actually really good friends and the perfect team when working together but…” Ruby paused unsure how to finish that sentence.

“But what?” Apple Bloom pressed.

“Imagine taking an alicorn and one of Equestria’s strongest unicorns and pitting them against one another. Now imagine the prize is their daughter’s affection,” Ruby attempted to explain.

“Oh buck,” Apple Bloom swore.

“Exactly. Her parents are perfect when working together but when you put them against each other, especially for Moon’s affection, things get a little out of hoof and extremely embarrassing. You should have seen some of the birthday parties we’ve had these past couple of years. And there was this one summer when a leak finally got out about Moon’s parentage. For the whole summer we had assassins attempting to infiltrate the school and murder Moon, although this soon turned into a contest between Starlight and Nightmare Moon to see who could catch and deal with the most assassins, often with Moon here as a spectator,” Ruby went on.

Moon stopped banging her head on the table and shuddered as she turned to face Ruby. “Please, don’t remind me. I still have nightmares about what they did and the fact they used me as an excuse for their actions,” she paused as she turned and enlightened Apple Bloom whilst mocking both her mothers. “Dear, I caught this griffon trying to infiltrate your quarters and do you harm; watch as I pluck her one feather at a time to teach her a lesson. That was only the start. Among the creepiest things from that summer was awaking one afternoon to find a zebra’s skull on my bed, an apparent present from Starlight of a would-be assassin, and watching as Nightmare Moon lowered some poor pony into a pool of acid excruciatingly slowly.” Moon shuddered again. “I still hear her screams to this very day.”

Apple Bloom allowed her mind a moment to slot all the pieces of the jigsaw together. “So, all we need to do is ensure they work together rather than against each other and we’ll be fine? I’m guessing that’ll be easier said than…”

“ROLL UP, ROLL UP,” Miss Dust’s voice suddenly interrupted across the hall. “Place a bet on the first annual Great St Trineighans bakeoff! After classes today. Look at the board to see which teacher is paired with which two first-year students and then choose wisely. Special first five-minute offer, all groups 2/1 on!”

Both Moon’s and Apple Bloom’s heads slammed onto the table.

“How?” Ruby said with a look of complete astonishment turning around to see the makeshift betting station that had once again been set up in the dining hall and reappeared in the blink of an eye.

“Pegasi,” Scootaloo yawned rising from the floor whilst stretching her wings to remove the cramp that settled into them. “Ninety percent of the time we’re extremely lazy, the other ten percent highly motivated and efficient,” she explained. “And when it comes to the chance of earning a few extra bits, nothing motivates Lightning more.”

“Nice to see you are back with the living,” Ruby responded.

“Oh, I’d recovered by the end of Home Ec, just wanted a little longer to sleep off all that pie,” Scootaloo confessed with a yawn

“Wait, so you tricked Apple Bloom into carrying you all the way here when she could have just woken you up?” Ruby queried.

“Well, I didn’t ask her to carry me,” Scootaloo retorted as she moved toward the table. “Any food still left?”

CLANG. Curry, bowl included, now adorned Scootaloo’s head courtesy of an irate Apple Bloom.

“Light as a feather my hoof,” the Earth Pony grumbled before returning to her own plateful of curry as she tried to put the forthcoming baking war to the back of her mind.

Ruby sniggered. “Well, I guess that answers your question.”

“Any chance of some rice?” Scootaloo requested cheekily as she lifted the bowl from her head and licked the sauce and vegetables that now adorned her muzzle.

A moment later a second bowl and a tsunami of rice headed her way.

*

Scootaloo swiped some of the few remaining vegetables from her mane and then turned to Apple Bloom. “So, who have I got?” she asked nonchalantly as she threw the vegetables into her mouth.

“Do you want the good news or the bad news?” Apple Bloom replied, diverting her concentration away from the list for a moment.

Scootaloo shrugged as she finished munching on the remainder of her lunch.

“We’re paired together,” Apple Bloom answered.

“Sweet,” Scootaloo said as she swallowed the vegetables. “We’ll win for sure,” she added confidently. “Which teacher we partnered with, Luna, Fluttershy…”

“Trixie,” Apple Bloom deadpanned.

“Come again?” Scootaloo queried hoping she’d heard that wrong. “I thought you said…”

“Trixie,” Apple Bloom repeated in an equally emotionless voice. “Also, you’re bleeding again. I think it’s going to need stitches,” she added pointing at the deep laceration that now adorned Scootaloo’s forehead just above her right eye.

“Shit and double shit,” Scootaloo swore trying to stem the bleeding with a napkin. “Did you have to throw that second bowl so hard?”

“You asked for rice, you got rice,” Apple Bloom deadpanned in response. “As for teachers, all I can say is that this is not going to end well. Lightning has deliberately paired students up with either other students or teachers they don’t or won’t get on well with to cause conflict. She’s even paired herself with Tempest and Silver!”

“Seriously? Well, I was wondering why she was taking bets on which team would start a food fight between themselves first. I guess that answers another question. So, what are the teams anyway?”

“Team 1: Luna, Dinky and Mjolna. Team 2: Starlight, Moon and Ruby.”

Scootaloo closed her eyes and shook her head. “I’m already not liking where this is going.”

“Us either,” Moon and Ruby chorused, the latter pushing the former along in a wheelchair

Apple Bloom ignored the interruptions and continued, “Team 3: Trixie, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. Team 4: Screwloose, Screwball, Spur. Team 5: Rarity, Sweetie and…” she paused unable to say the last name.

“She didn’t?” Scootaloo pressed already knowing the answer to her own query.

“She did.”

“You’re right, this is certainly not going to end well. Do I even want to hear the final two teams?” Scootaloo said with the look of a dead mare walking. “Surely none of them can get any worse after these five and Limestone’s.”

“Oh, it can. Team 7 is Tree Hugger, Lily and Princess…”

“Well, that doesn’t sound too…” Scootaloo interrupted only for herself to be interrupted by Apple Bloom.

“Team 8: Zecora, Petunia and Little Strongheart. Judges Berry Punch, Limestone and Fluttershy.”

“She didn’t.”

Apple Bloom nodded. “She did.”

Scootaloo groaned. “Somecreature is definitely going to end up in a pie.”

“Agreed,” her three friends concurred in unison.

*

They’d only just made it into the hallway that led to Tree Hugger’s classroom with the rest of the first-years when the door was blown off its hinges into the wall opposite by a torrent of fire.

In an instant Scootaloo was in the door frame.

“See, told you I could do it,” Sweetie giggled atop a beanbag smoking from a pipe with bloodshot eyes.

“Woah, far out,” Tree Hugger replied with equally bloodshot eyes in a beanbag opposite Sweetie.

Before Screwball even spoke, Scootaloo had figured it all out and knew she was dead.

“Hello dear friend, chipper day we’re having today, isn’t it? As we were helping Miss Pie clear up the mess we had made in the Home Economics classroom and had lunch there, we got here a little early and Tree Hugger very kindly offered us some 'herbal relaxation'.”

Scootaloo stared at Screwball’s eyes and shivered at the normality of them.

Screwball threw back her head and guffawed before addressing Scootaloo once more, her eyes now back to their usual swirls of madness. “I’m just messing with you. Damn this is some good stuff. Its affecting even me a little.” She took a deep inhale from a pipe somehow hovering in front of her and blew out a perfect ring of blue smoke.

“Just wait until the hallucinations kick in, poison joke always gives the best,” Tree Hugger commented.

Scootaloo’s eyes went wide. The last thing she or anypony needed was Sweetie burning down the whole school lost in her own mind and unaware of the damage she was causing. Upon seeing the smile growing across the unicorn’s face and the flames tickling at her hooves, she feared that time would come sooner than she liked.

“Oh, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope,” she repeated over and over to herself as she trotted over and, ignoring both the smell and the pain as Sweetie’s hooves singed her fur and burnt the skin underneath, lugged the placid Sweetie onto her back and trotted back the way she came. “Apple Bloom, you’re in charge of Screwball until I get back,” she said as she passed the werewolf.

“Me,” Apple Bloom objected indignantly but Scootaloo was already gone.

“Hey Bloom, want to try some?” Screwball asked in a tempting tone holding out the pipe she was smoking with a hoof.

Apple Bloom knew she shouldn’t, her sister would kill her if she found out, but…

“You know, it wouldn’t hurt to try. As werewolves, I doubt it would have much effect on us anyway?” Ruby whispered into Apple Bloom’s ear.

*

“Hey, Zecora, you in here? I’ve kind of got an emergency. Yowch, will you stop burning me, Sweetie?” Scootaloo said with a grimace, her coat now pockmarked with burns.

“Oh, what’s that talking ball of flame? You want me to burn everything?” Sweetie replied staring deep into Scootaloo’s eyes with dilated pupils. Her irises had also turned from green to blue.

“Okay, scrap that. I’ve got an emergency and I can’t get her to focus long enough for me to turn her to stone,” Scootaloo said rapidly, the panic in her voice starting to rise as the lump on her back started to get hotter. She had no idea what Sweetie might be capable of in this state.

Zecora’s head suddenly appeared from under one of the infirmary beds. Her eyes widened at the sight of a slowly combusting Sweetie atop Scootaloo, the latter finally having no choice but to drop her friend onto the infirmary floor.

“Yow!” Scootaloo exclaimed swinging her head around to see just how badly burned her back was.

Her eyes went wide. Her back was on fire. Like, actually on fire. And not just a teensy-weensy bit either.

Scootaloo began to scream only for her mouth to be filled with ice cold water.

Zecora lowered the now empty bucket she was holding in her teeth to the floor. “Tree Hugger’s work I presume?”

“Yeah, how’d you guess?” Scootaloo replied, suddenly feeling a little unsteady on her hooves.

“The smoking of Poison Joke not only quadruples the size off a pony’s pupils but also turns their irises blue,” Zecora deadpanned.

“I see,” Scootaloo replied suddenly feeling a little unsteady on her hooves, most likely due to the fact her back had been on fire just moments before and was still steaming.

“Do not worry though; the antidote is a simple one that I know. Bring her to…” Zecora paused mid-sentence.

“What?” Scootaloo queried looking all around, the unsteadiness of her hooves growing every second. “Oh no, where’s she gone? We’ve got to find her before she burns down the school or worse, Rarity finds her and blames me!”

Scootaloo was just about to head for the door when her hooves gave out from underneath her. “Shit,” she grumbled trying to force herself back to her hooves and failing.

“You, my dear, are going nowhere, except here,” Zecora said sternly trotting over and grabbing Scootaloo’s tail in her teeth before dragging and throwing her on an empty bed. “Those burns need time to heal and seal,” the zebra said calmly. “Now, hold on tightly while I apply this ointment, as it may bring about a sting,” she explained in her usually roundabout way.

The final word had barely left Zecora’s lips before the howl ripped through the infirmary.

“Please tell me Miss Bloom or Pinch did not also seek release, as that will certainly destroy our peace. You see, werewolves and Poison Joke is certainly no joke. A feral, rabid beast intent to feast on you and me, is what you shall see,” Zecora said cryptically to Scootaloo.

Scootaloo though had already passed out.

Zecora let out a sigh and began applying the ointment. She was certain it was going to be a busy night.

*

Luna groaned as she rested her head on her desk whilst holding an ice pack atop it with a hoof. Damn how she hated Starlight using her magic on her. She still wore the maid outfit. Maybe she could tease Starlight later with it in retaliation for using her magic on her. Right now, she needed something to get rid of this unrelenting headache.

And, of course, that was the exact moment the security alarm started to blare out.

“What is it this time?” Luna groaned lifting her head off her desk.

As if in answer to her question, a werewolf, frothing at the mouth, came crashing through her office door.

Luna rubbed her temple. “Tree Hugger, how many times do I have to tell you not to let the werewolves try Poison Joke?” she sighed as Apple Bloom shook herself down and returned to her hooves growling ferociously at Luna with cobalt blue eyes. “Sleep,” Luna commanded rising to her hooves.

Apple Bloom immediately fell to the floor snoring softly.

“Good girl. Now you stay there while I try and pinpoint where…” Luna began only to be interrupted by a low growl in the doorway. “Well, that was easier than expected.”

Ruby threw herself at the alicorn of the night.

“Sleep,” Luna commanded for the second time.

One adorable bundle of sleeping fur on the floor became two.

Luna was just bending down to examine something on Apple Bloom’s teeth that had caught her eye when she heard a voice from the doorway.

“Whoa, gnarly Limey, you like, totally took this door out with that kick!”

“You call me that once more and I swear to Faust you’ll be going through the next door,” Limestone growled as Luna looked up at the two latest intruders.

“No need to harsh the vibes, mare. And is that Princess Luna in a maid outfit or am I just tripping hard right now?” Tree Hugger replied.

“Seriously? In what rational world would Princess Luna be wearing a maid…” Limestone began only to stop mid-sentence as she caught sight of the alicorn in said outfit. “Starlight?” she deadpanned.

“Need you even ask?” Luna responded before swiftly changing the topic of conversation. “What I would like to know Tree Hugger is how two werewolves gained access to Poison Joke after I handed you a list of students you must not under any circumstances give drugs to, specifically werewolves, first and second years, and those who are classed as extremely mentally vulnerable.”

On cue, a loud explosion suddenly rocked the castle’s very foundations.

“Not her, too,” Luna groaned walking over and banging her head against a wall.

“Oh, I thought it was a list of names and years you wanted me to try herbal medicines out on, my bad,” Tree Hugger said casually. “I did wonder why the rest refused aside the first years.”

Luna started banging her head against the wall with a little more force.

“Just please tell me that isn’t blood on her teeth. This may be St Trineighans School for incompetent teachers but I most definitely do not wish it to be a school for solely werewolves,” Luna said exasperated, finally finishing pounding a dent in the wall with her head and turning to the earth pony mare. “We’d end up spending half our budget on air freshener alone.”

“Oh, she only bit one fellow student and it wasn’t even that bad. Starlight took her to the infirmary as a precaution, whilst me, Dusty and then Limey went after them after they broke out of the classroom. Well, not really a breakout as the classroom had no door at that point but, woah, I never knew the walls of your office were so colourful.”

Luna’s right eye twitched as she watched Tree Hugger’s eyes fully dilate. Great, just fucking great. She turned instead to Limestone for further answers.

“Hey, what are you looking at me for. All I know is there was a commotion outside my classroom, I peek out and there’s Dust slumped at the end of the corridor about to be ripped to shreds by those two,” Limestone exclaimed pointing at Ruby and Apple Bloom on the floor. “I scared them with a few lightning bolts, followed protocol and ensured my students were safe, then chased them halfway across the school meeting Tree Hugger along the way. They ended up pouncing on us down the hall and I sent Apple Bloom through your door. That’s it.”

“Did Lightning or either of you get bit?” Luna pressed.

“I know I didn’t and I’m pretty sure Tree Hugger didn’t either but Lightning was pretty messed up when I left her,” Limestone replied.

“So, you just left her there in the corridor?”

“Would you rather have a horde of new werewolves to deal with?” Limestone retaliated. “She’s a tough mare, I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

“That I am. Damn, I missed all the fun,” Dust’s voice chuckled behind Limestone before she flew into view above the two other mares in the doorway. “Nothing but a few scrapes and bruises. No way either of those two rapscallions could catch me unawares.”

“That so?” Luna deadpanned examining Dust from head to paw. “Then why’s one of your eyes closed?”

“A cheap shot,” Lightning retorted.

“Your leg?” Luna asked inquisitively.

“Badly wrenched a muscle in my back leg barrelling down the stairs with those two.”

“And the clear bite mark to your left ear? Not to mention the fangs, fur and paws?” Luna quizzed with a devilish smirk.

“Come again?” Lightning replied suddenly looking a lot less confident.

“Sit,” Luna commanded.

Lightning’s wings snapped tight to her side.

“Ah shit,” Limestone swore before the Pegasus fell atop her.

“Congratulations Miss Dust; you’re now a werewolf,” Luna said emotionlessly.

“Wh-what?” Lightning replied untangling herself from Limestone. “B-but I don’t want to be a werewolf!” she exclaimed.

“Well, unless you shoot yourself with a silver bullet, tough. Now, let us get you to the infirmary for a check-up and to find out which of the first-years has also joined my army of furballs, seeing as Tree Hugger is in no fit state to tell me,” Luna said stoically, lifting Lightning, Ruby and Apple Bloom effortlessly with her magic as she did so before departing her office.

Limestone, carrying a now totally spaced-out Tree Hugger on her back, followed as yet another distant explosion rocked the school.

Author's Note:

Two nights girls, two nights and you've already blown up a teachers office, gone to war with your year mates, nearly drowned, caused a howl, inspired the first St Trineighans bake off and got ridiculously high.

So who's the new werewolf? I'm pretty certain who it shall be but am open for suggestions for the next day or so to tell me otherwise.

Edited 19/05/2022