As Twilight advances Equestrian magic in great strides she makes a discovery that will shake the very foundations of Equestria itself. Will her discovery lead to Celestias fall or possibly even the failure of Equestria itself. Or will it put Equestria in its rightful place in the universe.
I had a dream about this the other night and just had to write it down. It will not be told via Twilight the entire time so don't get used to it. There are many many characters that have not been introduced yet and this is just the beginning of what I hope will be a long story. Have fun, leave a comment, oh and I'm looking for editors and pre-readers. If anybody is interested shoot me a message.
Note: I tagged this as dark and teen because of chapters that are to (possibly) come. I didn't tag it with human because there ARE NOT any humans. It may seem like it at first but all will be explained soon.
And here I thought this would be a(nother) Dark Souls crossover...
1270748
Is that because of the picture?
1270802 It's a fairly iconic picture for Dark Souls (Knight Artorias), so yes. Aside from that, though, you definitely need to work on formatting (very wall-of-texty) and some punctuation work.
Also, this:
...seems self-contradictory.
It's a good start, though. AUs are probably one of the rarer genres of story around here.
1270810
It probably seems like it because of my grammar. I will admit I'm not the best at grammar. I've never played Dark Souls and I don't remember where I got the picture. Thank you for the info.
I believe you said you needed proof-readers and editors. If you still need one, then I'd be happy to help with both areas. As for the first chapter, good job. Very few punctuation errors, and almost no spelling problems. For a first chapter this is rather impressive. If you decide to take me up on my offer, then send me a PM. Now have this epic emote,
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
1271601
I may take you up on that offer. I'd like at least a few editors but at the same time I don't want too many. I'm going to see where all of this goes before I make any choices but I'll definitely keep your offer in mind since I have none right now.
1271746
Sometimes having multiple editors can make progress go slower. As one editor will change something, and then the next one will change it back. Just sayin. Anyways, just PM me whenever you decide.
Legit.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia.png
I like the chapter, it has a nice flow to it. Could have been a bit more exciting...but what are you gonna do?