Matthew never quite grasped the concept of "credit" very well. This proved even more so when he gets in a bit of money trouble with a few shady characters. After a mishap in his basement using items he bought off of borrowed money that was long overdue, he ends up in Equestria. Will he find that he doesn't want to leave this magical land or will he try and get away as quickly as possible. He knows whats waiting for him if he goes back but does he truly believe he can run away from his problems forever?
This is what I hope to be a very long tale of friendship, trust, intelligence and mustering the courage to face your fears. I truthfully only have a very very general idea of where I want to take this so bear with me and lets see what happens! I guess that's about it. I've never been very good at summaries.
Warning: This may contain increasingly foul language as it progresses and possibly some suggestive themes. I will be updating the content rating as I go but like I said I'm not 100% where this is going.
Props to my editor Laura and in some cases Talster and a close friend of mine not known to this site.
My name is Matthew.
Overall, the story is good. The dialogue seems a bit rushed. The flow of the story seems a little awkward from scene to scene. The only other thing I had an issue with was how exactly he got to Equestria. What kind of device was he building, what was its purpose and how could it have ripped open a portal into Equestria?
542470 I hear your concern and thank you for the feedback. Quite frankly this was just a tad bit rushed
I only worked on it for a few days and JUST got done editing it last night. Like I said I don't know where exactly I'm going with this but I'll work it out and hopefully my later chapters will be better and explain more to you. Thank you so much for the feedback. I'll be sure to keep your comment in mind when I'm writing the next chapter. 
542470 oh and what do you mean when you say the dialogue seems rushed. Do you mean it seems like i rushed with it or as if the characters where rushed in their conversation.
543244
Yes, it seems like the characters were a bit rushed in the converstaion, like they just wanted to say what they had to say as fast as they could.
543253 Ah, I had more dialogue with more detail in it, before I edited it. I took a lot out because I thought that the dialogue was a bit lengthly and that it would bore people, but i guess I just screwed it up more.
This is amazing. I, myself, looking for a job in theoretical physics some time in the future, can easily fit myself in the main character's shoes.
The only thing I mind is how some things are capitalized and some aren't. Grammar is a bit off as well as spelling. Of course, I could fix that if you wanted, is that fine?
544354 I plan to go over each chapter with my private editor on google docs. If you wish to join in I don't think I have any objections. I was never very good with grammar so the more help the better. Plus you'd be playing a crucial role in the development of the story since that's also where She and I go over plot flow and that sort of thing. Shoot me a message and we can discuss it?
i carry the mighty SWORD OF FIRST!
I LOVE IT!!!
I have never seen such awesome writing skills at work, and I see it's been improved!
Congrats for being a hard working writer at work who loves doing what he does!
I WILL WAIT FOR MOAR!!!!!
This whole story feels so rushed. That's what I get for jumping into my first-timer without a plan. I'll do better next time, I promise!
Once this is done of course. I can't just leave it hanging!
"FIRST POST!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!"
* jumps up and hits knee on bottom of table
"FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKK!!!!!"
*recovers and sits back down
"Oh and great story sir. Please continue."
565334 Thanks. Even though this is rushed, and I want to change my Narrative (oh got why did I pick second person), I plan on finishing it. I'm not going to make it as long as I originally planned since it's not going the way I wanted it to, and as I've said I didn't put any planning into it. Next story will be longer, and better.
I hope...
Probably won't have any connections with this one though
565352 No I just told someone else there story is rushed. Your story, I see what your saying but its more summarized than rushed. if it was rushed then the readers would be like:
*wink wink, coughs* Skyrim)
(i amuse myself to much commenting!!!)
*smiling while reading the chapter
*it fades into a frown
"hey..."
"There should be more to this, I WANT MORE. I NEED LONGER CHAPTERS!!!"
*fos roh dah's the coumpter and leaves to terrorize the countryside
(see what i did there
Anyways yeah, don't kick yourself. Your doing fine. If it was better, it would be in the show.
I think its a fine and artistic ending.
Hey you run out of steam or what? I'd like it if you continue but ok then, i guess.
A sequel would be nice, if you'd want to make one please?
So....how did they get rid of the body and explain why the guy was stabbed so many times to people? or did they just fed it to the pets... NO WAIT BETTER YET! made him into pies, and eat him ',..,'