• Member Since 31st Oct, 2019
  • offline last seen May 3rd

Golly4Ever


Sequels1

E

Years after the attack on Canterlot and the petrification of Cozy Glow, all hope for her seemed lost until one fateful day when a young, friendly voice called out to her consciousness inside her stone imprisonment. With the help of her new friend, Cozy decides to learn her lesson and give true friendship an honest try.

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 27 )

Sweet. Kind of rushed, but sweet. The plot is decent, the characterization is pretty good. It's sparse, but well developed for what is there. I really enjoyed the concept and I think you could do a lot of fun stuff with it. Looking forward to seeing more. :twilightsmile:

‘ No. ’ It wasn’t in her head. It was coming from outside her head; from the statue itself! She could sense it. It was calling out; not to her, but to anypony who could hear and possibly even answer; anypony who would listen. Astral used her magic to spark a tiny link with the young voice she could telepathically hear crying from within the statue.

‘ No. ’ It wasn’t in her head. It was coming from outside her head; from the statue itself! She could sense it. It was calling out; not to her, but to anypony who could hear and possibly even answer; anypony who would listen. Astral used her magic to spark a tiny link with the young voice she could telepathically hear crying from within the statue.

interesting,a filly capable of using conplex spell and detect Cozy lies despire being a blankflanl,Astral is not what she seems

spending several year in stone,i'm suprise that Cozy not being insane. if i were her,i'm would be talking to myself a long time ago

11087716
Interesting indeed! Astral will get her very own story eventually. I'd say at this point, she's halfway through earning her cutie mark. She's aware of her special talent by now; that it is something special that no other pony around can do. To other unicorns, it may be a complex spell, but for Astral, it's something that she just does, but has yet to gain the ability to fully control it at will without having to concentrate so hard on it, and of course, hasn't realized just how important it will be to her for the rest of her life.

That brings an interesting point, though: Telepathy being a complex spell. I like to view magic use as learnable and trainable spells for most unicorns that are willing to put in the work to learn them; the difficulty varying from pony to pony and how in tune they are with their natural energy and capability to harness and channel it. --That is, unless it happens to be your natural talent. Most ponies would have to learn to teleport efficiently and safely- not to displace living matter in the space they're teleporting to, how to detect magic resistance objects so they don't slam themselves into a wall or worse, become part of one. But if teleportation is your natural talent, you would just know this stuff intuitively. You might not be good at it at first, but the initial steps to pull it off would come naturally (and awkwardly, like magic puberty [teleporting without your clothes, or mane and tail, not maintaining your spatial orientation at the destination site, bringing parts of your previous environment with you, etc]). I can't speak for Pumpkin Cake, though. Maybe unicorn infants come with varying degrees of "wild magic" passed down from their parents, just like their initial immune system, and once it wears off, the infant becomes relatively inert until their own traits begin to develop and take place. Flurryheart is a whole other can of beans, though that I'd rather not explore here.

Thanks for reading! I hope you stick around for the rest of it.

11087718
I like to think that she's very strong-willed and minded. She's not just any normal filly, after all. Though, normal fillies don't normally end up in stone prisons. I didn't explore the idea in this story, but maybe having Discord's chaos magic bestowed upon her, however brief it was, left trace abilities for higher cognitive fortification, thus giving her the ability to remain as sane as she has in the time before Astral showed up.

11087382
Strap in, 'cause we're just getting started! Many adventures (and misadventures!) await Cozy and Astral (though mostly Cozy) once we get through this initial story, setting us up for the long run!

She eventually came to accept the idea that there could be value in genuine friendship beyond manipulative power.

What kind of value specifically? And how did she come to be convinced of this revelation?

11088654
I'd say companionship, mainly. Especially that born of free will. Cozy's friend wants to come back and "hang out", all on her own. It's the first time Cozy has somepony in her life like this that she didn't have to trick or bribe or blackmail or anything, even with Astral knowing the truth about who Cozy was and the things she did. Having experienced true loneliness in the void of her stone imprisonment, she realized she needs other ponies "on her side" more than she ever thought, not just some form of henchponies or hired hooves to use and be later discarded. This friendship is something to work for and defend. Something more meaningful had now become very important to her. This is her reformation without outright saying it's her reformation.

Does the explanation work? Is it something I should add to the story? It seemed obvious to me, but since I'm the one writing it, I have a much better insight on the nuance of the story than first-time readers.

11088763

Is it something I should add to the story?

Perhaps. It goes to what we were talking about earlier. Modern audiences typically like some explanation in their stories, or at least being given enough dialogue or inner thoughts about a character's decisions, to come to a informed opinion about their motives.

You are welcome to get a second opinion, and I would definitely run any changes you are considering past someone you trust, before you make them. Sometimes people wind up compromising their original vision, based on (technically) sound advice, and the end result is awful. That being said, it is something I would advise considering.

Plus you already have the building blocks to show you can write believable character growth and introspection, so you should be able to translate the basic theme of her arc into a worthwhile dialogue, if only a few lines.

11089247

you should be able to translate the basic theme of her arc into a worthwhile dialogue, if only a few lines.

Well, not through dialogue, but I did do a minimal edit to cover this issue without interrupting what has already been established, written and committed. There's still plenty of opportunity for actual dialogue between the two later if I should need to revisit and reinforce the idea. I put a copy of the edited paragraph below so you don't have to go and find it:

Astral continued to "talk" to Cozy regularly about news, what was going on at school, the differences between good and bad, and just about anything else they could think of. At first, Cozy constantly tried to be her old self and lie and manipulate, but every time she did, Astral called her out on it. Cozy couldn’t hide her true feelings and intentions from Astral, not while frozen in stone at least. She had no choice but to behave and play nice. No longer could she continue down her deceptive path of villainy. Though Astral never threatened to abandon her, the companionship Cozy had with her had become far too important for her to risk losing. Through Astral, Cozy eventually came to accept the idea that there could be value in genuine friendship beyond manipulative power. She was, however, still somewhat reluctant to share her own past, where she came from, and her family. They did talk about her life in Ponyville, though. They shared anecdotes involving Twilight and her various "isms" about the School of Friendship and how not much had changed whenever she started teaching at the School of Magic. " They still call it 'Twilighting?' "

After going over it a few times, I can see where that little bit of information does more to contribute to the story than not having it. If you got the time, let me know what you think.

Thanks!

' I can’t see. I can’t feel. What happened to me? ' asked Astral to herself. The cold was an all consuming empty void of darkness. ' No. This wasn’t supposed to happen .' Astral began to panic. “ Hello?! ” she called out, but there was only silence. ' Get it together, Astral ,' she said to herself. ' Maybe somepony will come along. In a million years. Will I crumble? No. Stay positive. What am I going to do?' "Cozy? Cozy Glow, are you there? Can you hear me? I think I’m in trouble!" 'It’s no use. I can’t use my magic from inside here. I’m stuck, forever .' Even if she did have her magic, deep down, she knew she didn't have anywhere near that kind of range; no pony she knew or ever heard of did.

weird, when Twilight gets stoned by that creature, she said don't remember anything. I guess Twilight say it to hide from her friend or her mind can't take it so it forgets all the experience

11095313

weird, when Twilight gets stoned by that creature, she said don't remember anything.

Not quite... The only thing we do see her say is "Huh? What happened?" shortly after she was revived. The next scene is Fluttershy explaining her own experience with the CMCs and the events of the night. We can assume Twilight was caught by surprise (her statue certainly had that expression) and the process of stoning was nearly instant since she wasn't expecting it and thus didn't try to fight it. Her internal experience might have been closer to that of sleep or a blank dream instead of panic and an urge to return to the real world since she wasn't even aware that anything was wrong in the first place. Saying that presents a side thought: Being stoned could very well be a positive experience under the right conditions; a perpetual lucid sandbox dream of sorts. It would depend on the pony.

Excuses aside, I imagine everypony's personal experience could range from being similar to quite different. It really depends on who they are mentally and like I said, the conditions of their stoning. I've spent some time considering if I should add the Alternate Universe tag to the story. I'm trying to keep established lore and canon intact, but since this story takes place after the end of the show, but before the final episode, there's still a lot of uncharted territory to explore. Luster Dawn likely hasn't even been born yet. Though it's not described in this story, I don't see Twilight being much taller here than she was before she left Ponyville.

It's a good observation, though. I had actually forgotten about that scene when I originally wrote this one. It could actually hold the power to change the debate over the harshness of Cozy Glow having been petrified in the first place and her experience throughout it (or lack thereof), and with that, also destroy the entire basis of this story! Like many others, I had latched more onto Discord's experience; that he was cognisant throughout it and even somewhat aware of the outside world. But then again, he was also a great magical being even more powerful than any of the realm's alicorns.

Still, I think your point has some value to it and is worth the discussion. Thanks!

Astral hit her forehead repeatedly as she scolded herself "Stupid, stupid, Stupid! Of course, I'm not the only pony with this magical ability. Who else has been listening? What do they want?"

I bet it was Discord.I bet he gonna use this to boost Flurry Heart confident this time :trollestia:

Astral smiled. " I promise. But only if you promise me you will try to be good," she said.

This is a cute moment.

It also puts Cozy's growth at a much more believable rate than what I had originally thought based on earlier chapters.

It will be nice to see where her growth goes from here.

"It's ok, Cozy will help you.

Technically, Cozy Glow does talk in the third person when she's alone, but this still feels like a odd place for her to do it.

11096861
It's probably Sombra, going by the description in earlier chapters.

That poor filly. Good thing that Astral at least sees how what they did to her was so fundamentally wrong.

I wonder how much Twilight knows about Cozy being essentially tortured while in stone. I hope Astral gets her out soon.

I hope that whatever Cozy is planning, is to use against the third party that's been hiding in the shadows.

11134338
I believe I wrote elsewhere that she didn't agree with the stoning in the first place, and later regretted not standing up for her beliefs to Celestia and Luna. But at this point, it's very easy for Twilight to try not to worry herself over it. She was once stone back in season one, episode 17 "Stare Master", but for her, since it was so quick and unexpected, it was but a fleeting moment to her; a peaceful sleep. It would be easy for her to justify herself into incorrectly thinking that's just how it is for everypony.

Yeah, I'm really looking forward to what will happen in the future. The stories between cozy and astral are wonderful.:pinkiesmile:

Overall a very wonderful and engaging story friend :twilightsmile:, but wow is that a bittersweet ending :fluttershysad:
Suffering in that void for longer, I hope she gets freed sometime...

magic of bushindo yay!

equestriato banzi!

come on, the previous chapter is already good. why mess it up with this cookie cutter happy ending?

11297250
Hmm... Maybe I'll write an alternate, non-canon epilogue just for you. Keep it bittersweet, then just bitter, then dark. (Seriously! I got the idea floating around my head, and it now wants out.)

Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment, even though there might be parts you don't exactly agree with. I really do appreciate it.

:P nice bait and switch, genuinely a very interesting story for that alone

Bro how is Astral Bell a blankflank with this telepathy of hers? Is telepathy such a common skill in equestria that no single pony can have it as their Magic Talent?? She needs to have her Cutie Mark by now with how aware she is of her Telepathy!!

11848919
Good question!
"Blank Flank" is really a holdover from the very first iteration of the story where she didn't even have a name. I decided to keep it that way for a little bit of flavor. Her powers are really starting to manifest at this point though, and she is no doubt very close to getting her mark. She'll get her own "coming of age" story eventually, that covers all the time leading up to to this point through to the end of this story.

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