• Published 9th Sep 2012
  • 1,012 Views, 77 Comments

Rainbow Runs - Writer12577



Rainbow Dash is running.

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Chapter One: The Chase

Rainbow was running as fast as she could. Her hooves were drumming the ground, creating a wicked beat that sent chills down her spine and stings of pain through her hooves.


The evening air around her was chilling her to the very core. But running kept her even somewhat warm, making her able to run even faster.


It was already getting dark. The surrounding trees were casting deep and even frightening shades over her while she ran past them, causing some of their remaining leaves drop to the ground. She could swear that she heard the trees curse her.


She would have looked back if she wouldn’t have known that it was there. It was following her, forcing her to flee.


And she fled. She had been running for an eternity and was not sure how much longer she could go. Her lungs were protesting loudly, trying to force her to stop. Her heart was beating like crazy, trying its best to keep her limbs capable of running and blood flowing through her whole body.


Her hooves hurt even more. The coldness of the autumn nights had made the ground harder and it was now drumming against her soft hooves, every step bringing a sharper sting of pain.


Celestia’s sun was setting, casting out an orange glow that was illuminating the deep night sky above her. The last beams of light made their way through the thick leaves of the tall trees, lighting Rainbow’s path, making navigating a bit easier.


All the life of the forest was hiding somewhere. Birds were silent and nothing moved, save for her, the chaser and the occasional branches.


The forest was not far from Ponyville. You could see the biggest buildings like the Town Hall from there, peaking over the tallest of the tall trees. There would be an opening ahead. But no matter how much Rainbow wanted to, she couldn’t just stop there, let her lungs, her heart, her hooves and her mind rest and just look at the incredible sight in front of her.


Her chaser wouldn’t have mercy. She was doomed to run until she would fall to the ground, submit to her fate.


But that time was nowhere near. She’d run for another eternity if she’d have to. She was not going to accept defeat. She’d at least put her chaser through a mighty effort.


She picked up her pace, no matter how hard her whole body protested. The trees swished past her, causing a blurring motion in the corner of her eyes.


She wanted to fly. It’d be so easy to just unfurl her wings and fly away, leaving her chaser to the cold, rough ground. Take over the sky, let the breeze run through her mane, be free. Free of the bounds of earth, sky being the only limit.


But she couldn’t. She took a quick glance at her both sides, just to see that the ropes that were used to tie her wings down were still there, stubbornly preventing her wings from opening.


The knot was tied in a perfect way. Opening it with bare hooves would take hours, and Rainbow didn’t have that much time. A single stop and she’d lose. It would catch her.


She was doomed to run.


And so she ran. The terrain was getting harder. There were roots, rocks and occasional dirt piles that increased the tripping-danger dramatically.


But they did the same for her chaser. It was just as clumsy as she was. It could not see in the dark, nor could it run faster than her.


But Its stamina was close to hers, maybe even better. Eventually it would catch her, unless it’d trip or just get left behind due to an obstacle it could not overcome.


The forest was starting to get foggy. Translucent clouds of thick fog hovered near the ground, giving the path an eerie look that was slowly but surely chipping Rainbow's confidence away, piece by piece.


Rainbow swiftly dodged the sharp branches that were trying to swipe her and the nasty roots that were trying their best to make her trip.


Good thing that she had always been an agile pony. Dodging clouds while flying extremely fast was the perfect way to improve your reflexes and make your movement even more agile.


But her chaser was just as agile, even though it couldn’t fly. Rainbow could hear the heavy hoofsteps coming closer and she knew that it had dodged the obstacles even faster then she had. It was catching her fast.

The opening was ahead. All of a sudden there was a completely blank spot in the middle of the woods. On the edge of the spot was a small cliff where you could see Ponyville in its whole glory.


Rainbow remembered the picnics with her friends. She remembered all the fun they had had while looking at the blazing afternoon sun create a glorious glow behind the city, illuminating the sky with an act greater than anything in the whole world.


And when the moon rose, the sun lent its stage to the new, beautifully silver occupant and let the moon have its part of the glory.


And the moon cast its silver glow all over the landscape, causing it to bathe in the beams of the night’s only light.


And eventually they’d fall asleep, the moon watching over them, making sure that they were safe from the world that was running non-stop around them, not even thinking of getting any rest.


And when they’d finally wake up to the sight of the sun itself casting out the first beams of light of the new morning, they’d pack their things up and walk back to their beautiful home town, the small, yet oh so brilliant jewel in the middle of the wild and continue the regular day rhythm that controls our life and defies our fate.


Rainbow felt a cold breeze hit her. Her hooves responded to the breeze with yet another sting of pain, causing her to stumble a little.


She looked to her right and saw the town just like she remembered it. The beautiful jewel was as shiny as always.


Rainbow killed the pace. She slowed down, walked over to the cliff and just waited, admiring the sight and accepting her fate.


And the fate came. It had caught her. It was her turn.


“You’re tag!” Pinkie shouted with a merry tune, a slight hint of panting present in her voice.


Pinkie turned around and ran. Rainbow took a one last look at the town, turned around and started chasing Pinkie.

Comments ( 77 )

Okay, let me make clear that this is NOT a big project. I made this only for a single purpose.

I'm trying to improve my descriptive skills (Next chapters of The Fall will need it). The main idea was to write a short story with as much description as possible. And here it is. Done in ~twenty minutes.

So, if in any ways possible, please tell me how I did and how I could improve.

Pretty good. The way RD refers her pursuer as "it" is a nice touch.

Some minor mistakes here and there. For example, "... the sun borrowed its stage ...". Did you mean "lent", as in "lend me your ear"?

Also, " ... a slight hint of panting visible in her voice.": sound isn't normally visible without the use of Windows Media Player or certain hallucinogens.

A proofread is recommended. But good work - it produced some nice mental imagery, and included decent characterization of RD. :rainbowdetermined2:

Lol i thought the story was about a monster from the ever free forest and is chasing Rainbow for some reason, but it was just a game of tag! lol :rainbowlaugh:

1249547

Yeah, you're right. I put this up a way too fast, due to extreme hurry. I usually try my best at proofreading my stories. But anyways, I fixed them for you.

And thank you! That's the thing I was aiming for.

1250777

Well, I did try to keep it as a surprise. And I think I managed to do that all right...

1252605

Indeed.

1254292

Wut?

I'm not the Tag, Rainbow is!

1258026 I SAID TAG, CELESTIA DAMN IT! YOU. ARE. FUCKING. IT!:flutterrage:

1259692

I'm a what now?

Dog tags?

Where?

On a side note:
AWW YEAAAH ARMORED KILL. FINALLY!

1263303 Playing Battlefield? I really prefer flying to ground vehicles.

1264904

>Support
>C4
>Jet

"LET'S DO THIS!"

>Fly.
>See choppa.
"Hey, imma go and kamikaze dat choppa!"
>Fly towards choppa.
>Just before impact, jump out.
*Wait for it*
>Jet still going.
*Wait for it...*
*NOW*

>Parachute
>See the trigger in my hands.
"C4, EXPLODE!"
*Boom*.
>Multikill 5 people.
"AWW YEAAAH!"

1268543 Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. That should have been recorded.

1270136

Too bad I don't have the required equipment. (PS3, I'd need a capture card of some kind.)

1276786

Yeah, things would go great!

1278254 How about a Rake episode? :derpytongue2::pinkiehappy:

1278614

I would love that!

But, Hasbro. Target audience is a bit young. Imagine a 6-years old girl watching an episode where Slendy or Rake appears out of nowhere and tries to catch the ponies.

1278678 Solution: They put it online. If you guess the password, you get to see it. The password: Brony.

1279236

That's a pretty good idea!

1280134 Since we will be the only ones to see it, the kiddos can watch the more tame episodes.
Plot (teehee) of the story:
>Dear Princess Celestia, don't go in the woods!
>Dear Twilight, I'll do whatever I damn please. I'm the fucking princess.
>Dear Princess, this is Slenderman. I took them. All of them. I'm coming for you next.
>Dear Rainbow Dash, I recognized your hoof-writing. Fuck you.
>Rainbow gets sent to the moon, where Slenderman comes after her for impersonating him.

1282220

Then, Moon-Nazis.

(What? A good story in the Moon MUST have Moon-Nazis!)

1283681 The moon nazis take Slendy prisoner.

1283692

Rainbow pretty much stalks the Moon-Nazis, trying to learn something about them.

(She got her lessons from Slendy)

1283706 The Rake helps Rainbow free Slendy and they all live happily ever after.

1283709

At the end we see a slow motion clip where Rainbow, Rake and Slendy walk away from the Moon-Nazi base and all of a sudden the base explodes and all of a sudden they all have black sunglasses.

1283732
>Implying that Slendy has eyes to cover
>Implying that Slendy has ears to put the glasses on
He's coming for you for that.

1283747

I blame brains!

And North Koreans.

And Russians.

And Sauli Niinistö.

And Timo Soini.

And that creepy friend of mine who just got a dog and is going to come and visit me next week and show me the dog and try to teach it not attack my bunny.

And the Finnish legal system.

1283766 The American legal system says that I can't threaten death upon all of those.

1283768

Ahem.

"Jokaisessa talossa pitää olla humalisto, ja istuttakoon talonpoika joka vuosi hyviä juuria neljänkymmenen salon varalle, kunnes näitä tulee kaksisataa kokonaiseen taloon. Joka ei sitä tee, vetäköön sakkoa kultakin vuodelta [talarin], ja istuttakoon kuitenkin niinkuin on sanottu, jollei havaita, että humalistoa ei voi siihen istuttaa taikka siinä voimassa pitää."

"Every house has to have a hop garden and shall the farmer plant good roots for forty (I have NO idea what salon means. I don't speak fancy Finnish.) every year till there are two hundred for a whole house. The one that doesn't do so, shall take fine for every year and still plant as said, unless noticed that a hop garden cannot be planted or kept alive there."
- Rakennuskaari, chapter seven, §1.

1283807 Sucks for you, man. Sucks for you...
Surprise slender mod!

SO MUCH CELESTIA DAMNED SENSE!!!!!1283823

1283836 No master. Not at all. I have done much Mormon magnet trolling lately. As well as trolling hacker kids on the x-box. You have taught me well master. :trollestia:

1283841

There is no better feeling to hear the kids scream in terror as you rush around Operation 925 with your loyal ACB-90 and GP-30 dart.

And when compared to your best evil laugh through your headset mic, the day is going to be perfect.

1283848 >Enter spectate mode in MW3
"Hey, Masterkilla, I'm behind you. No no, at your feet. There, see me in the corner? Look down. Under you. No, now I'm behind you. Now I'm in that bush. Go over there. I'm glitched into the rock. Oh look, you got killed. That's unfortunate." :rainbowlaugh::trollestia::rainbowlaugh::trollestia::rainbowlaugh::trollestia::rainbowlaugh::trollestia:

1283855

♫And that's the art of Trolling♫

1283882 I know, right? This guy is the best troll ever. MinnesotaBurns. Best troll

1283886

I'd say that the Internet has to gather the top 10 of trolls into one place. Just to see what happens.

(They form up an alliance and start to plan against us!)

1283891 Celestia help us all... wait...
1. Trollestia 2. MinnesotaBurns
SHIT!

1283895

I'd like to see what happens when those two get into the same lobby...

1283898 Mind-nuke activated. ORANGE MONKEY EAGLE!

1283907Your pleases and thank you's are much appreciated

1283915

Too bad this isn't based on the story.

IT. WAS. BRILLIANT!

1283920 Brilliant! A fuckin' plus, BronyDanceParty. A fuckin' plus.

1283930 Too much yes... He will need to make a Guncakes PMV... NOW!

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