Each story will be complete when published. Each focusing on a different member or members of the Doo/Hooves Family
Chapters (4)
Twogunkid
Joined 12th Nov, 2011 ·
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what is this cristmas you speak of its heath warming eve
A little bit fast, but very good story. Well Done.
it good, but i think the ending was kina rushed
This is really good! I also think the ending was rushed a tad bit.
No sugar coating it, i guess.
Wonderful idea. This could wrok out so well!... but it hasn't. Not yet.
Good stuff: As stated before, AMAZING idea. Love the fact that there's the whole Retired Wonderbolt arc going o, which you hint at. That's what good writers do, leave points of speculation.
And now, the part I personaly hate, but must do; the Bad. First: pacing was WAY off. At times you lingered on a small detail for a whole line, but more commonly you paced it way too fast For example, the end, as well as Sugarcube Corner. Second: You need a pre-reader. Bad. If you don't want one, a word of advice. COMMAS ARE FRIENDS. Ther were way too many sentences that would have been classic, if only one comma was used!
Beyond that, this shall be tracked when i get to my computer. You show much promise and potental, but still need to be refined!
-The Librarian
And forgive spelling errors in my post, using a rather glitchy keyboard... <:D
80966
Thanks for the criticism. I could probably use a pre-reader (hint hint volunteer. You seem to know your stuff.) I'm not sure how to fix my pacing issues. Advice on anything you think should be left out or expanded upon?
this is a very touching story. please continue with it. can't wait.
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! This is really heart warming and touching!
I don't know what to say: THIS IS AWESOME or THIS IS ABSOLUTELYSUPEREXERMEAMAZINGMOSTCOOLESTSTOYEVA!!!!!!
81728
Aw shucks
I really hate it when canon (sister's social) torpedoes fics like this one.
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWw is the only word applicable, well done, I can hardly wait for the next part
That. Is. So. Sweet!
Sweetness overload.. argh.
Error 543, Sweetness overload, would you like to send an error report?
and this story just made my day. keep up the awesome work and can't wait for more!
I found some errors!
1.“But I insisted if she was going to the New Year’s Ball she would need to look her best. So I designed this master piece. “I started with a black velvet base from there I
You should put the last part on a new paragraph.
2.conversation.”
Get rid of that quotation mark.
That is all I found! This is a great story!
100403
Thanks. Fixed, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
D'aaawwww so cute
Good day.
Dawww!!!!!
MOAR!!!
142734
Maybe next Christmas I'll write a sequel fic. If you are good otherwise its coal.
in the words of my grandmother
freinds come and go but family is always there for you
daylight
As SOON as I started reading the doctor's story, I knew this was gonna be a time turner chapter. (BTW THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT) but, in the cover picture, he had his sonic screwdriver tucked behind his ear. Just saying.
also, this story is so cute! :D I love it!
3708085
Yeah I admittedly am not up to full speed on Dr. Who and honestly felt it would break the feel of other chapters. So he got to be Time Turner for this. I leave true doctor writing to the more Whovian Bronies
LOL Who knew, I'm not the only one out there who thinks Dinky and Pip are a good ship. xD
I loved it. The Doo family is the best!