• Member Since 2nd Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

shadowmane1


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When Princess Luna is visited by her own dark subconscious, can she defeat her mind and vanquish Nightmare Moon forever? Inner conflict reigns in this story of self loathing and jealousy.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 2 )

So, some thoughts... I hate to sound overcritical. Trust me, I mean well :raritywink:
There were several grammar errors and whatnot. I understand, English is a hard language to master. :)
Also, like most viewers of your story, I am a brony. ;) So, not everything has to be explained to the reader. ("Like all dragons, Spike had what seemed to be an insatiable appetite for gemstones.")
On that note, in general, you don't leave much to the imagination. The narrator explains everything, sometimes even repeating himself.
Otherwise, I like the premise of the story.
If you'd like more of a review, or specific examples, just let me know and I'll pm it to you :twilightsmile:

1542200 thanks for the critique, would you mind helping me with the grammar?

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