Harry Potter and the Prancing of Ponies

by The Guy Who Writes

Chapter 40: A Fair Exchange of Favours

The nobles were off to bed, and much of the food gone, by the time Luna and her fool arrived at dinner.

"Have things been mended?" Celestia asked her sister, consciously ignoring the gray pony by her side.

"Yes," answered Luna, though her attention seemed elsewhere. Distant. And not on the new spell Celestia had just learned and was currently maintaining either.

"You still seem unsettled," Celestia observed.

"I am recovering from shock," her sister replied. "It shall pass."

Her sister had been put into a state of shock? Celestia's gaze narrowed at the only plausible suspect.

"Not a negative shock, I think," said Riddle Tome. His gaze was on her Patronus, though it had briefly flicked to Silver, whose hair was perfectly normal at the moment.

"It was not," her sister confirmed her fool's words. "Just a surprising one."

"I would ask if you two had just turned out to be long-lost cousins," said Silver Wing, the only other pony at the table. "If I didn't already know better. Is your work always like this?"

"No," said Celestia, her sister, and her fool all at once, as two of those three ponies sat down to dine.

"You taught her your spell?" Riddle Tome asked his student as he took out his standard packets of brown powder.

"Yup. Didn't even need any dark creatures to do it. Did you know that Princess Celestia arranged for ponies to question their beliefs about the afterlife centuries ago, and now most ponies don't believe in one?"

"Tia, what?" her sister asked, head snapping to face her.

Riddle stared as well, raising an eyebrow. This was, perhaps, the first time he ever seemed impressed by her. Celestia did not know how to feel about it.

She nodded slowly. She had not explained in-depth earlier, but now that her sister was here...

"It came to a head when a certain occupation became prominent in Equestria," she began. "The occupation of afterlife medium. I... well, at first I thought it provided a level of comfort to believe that a loved one could speak to you, even if it was not true." Her expression darkened, and her Patronus wavered. "A particularly nasty and greedy pony disabused me of that notion. I decided that I did not want desperate ponies wasting their last bits to hear a charlatan's lies."

"And the solution was to rid your subjects of wishful thinking about death?" Riddle Tome asked curiously.

"Not right away," she answered. "First I went after the individual tricksters. But that drove them underground. I tried other things as well, but I eventually realized the source of the problem lied in an emotionally exploitable belief system. And I did not rid them of it, I simply let it be known that I did not believe it myself. That was more than enough, in the timespan of centuries."

"Is the belief in the afterlife relative to the spell you are casting?" Riddle asked her.

"I... do not know." She turned to face the one who had taught her. "You asked me beforehand, then mentioned it afterwards. Is it relevant?"

"It might be," Silver shrugged. "Would you like to learn how to use it to send messages?"

"Hm... I think I can guess." She turned to face the manifestation of her happy thoughts and, desiring to spread the good news, told it, "Please ask Twilight if she likes the new spell her young ward has just taught me."

Her Patronus left, seeming to fly away even as it vanished.

"Standard practice is to instruct it to wait until the target is alone or not doing anything important, especially if it's a private message," Silver pointed out. "Wouldn't want to interrupt spell research. But I don't think Twilight had that on tonight's schedule."

"There are standard practices to a spell you invented?" Celestia asked.

"Whoever said I invented it?" Silver asked innocently.

"You did."

"Did I? Were those my exact words?"

Celestia paused. She didn't remember his exact words. This colt and his mentor will be the death of her. Death by nitpicking.

"That is how you contacted my fool?" her sister asked the young alicorn.

"Yup."

"Could you teach me to cast it as well?"

"So long as it's just the two of us in the room. Or three, I guess. Mr. Tome already knows I'm an alicorn. But nopony else can watch whenever I teach it."

"We shall have privacy in my court."

"How does that work? I thought courts were filled with nobles."

"Mine is not."

The sound of Twilight Sparkle's voice shrieking in surprise filled the room when her Patronus reappeared. "Princess Celestia!" she shouted. "Huh? What? Where are you, princess? Is this a new spell?"

Before Celestia could respond with another comment, the message continued. "Looks like it!" said the voice of the Element of Laughter. "Hi Princesses! Hi Silver! Hi Mr. Meany Pants! How's the new horn?"

Celestia heard a coughing noise to her right, then turned to see Mr. Tome glaring at her spell, his brown drink dribbling from his chin.

"You have a..." she heard Silver's voice begin asking a question, then trail off. "No, I guess that makes sense."

Celestia turned to Mr. Tome as well.

She saw no horn.

She cast an anti-illusion spell on her eyes. She still saw no horn, but she saw that a small circle of fur on his forehead was illusion. She also saw that his glasses produced a highly detailed illusion, affecting his eyes and teeth and the small forehead patch.

That would have been enough... but just to be sure, she cast a magic-perception spell as well. She perceived a spell of unknown magic overlapping the illusion spell, just above it.

She also saw that his entire cloak was highly magical. His entire being was highly magical. Far more than any pony she'd ever seen, besides herself and her sister and Starswirl. Even Cadence was not so powerful. He was on par with Twilight at least. Probably stronger.

"When were you going to tell me?" she asked.

"Whenever you became intelligent enough to imagine the possibility and ask the direct question in the presence of your sister," he answered. "Never, in other words. That pink buffoon is beyond annoying." He turned to face her Patronus. "Tell her I find my new horn marvelous. I have learned all sorts of interesting jinxes and hexes, and I am looking for deserving targets. Thank you for volunteering."

The Patronus did not disappear.

"You think I would let my spell deliver that message?" Celestia asked the fool. She turned to it. "Tell Twilight that it is indeed a new spell, taught to me by her ward."

The ward in question spoke up. "And tell Twilight I'm more than willing to teach it to her later, given certain conditions. Also, ask her if she's currently having a sleepover or something."

Now her Patronus disappeared.

"Thank you for not relaying my message," Mr. Tome said, his tones sounding completely genuinely. "Jinxes work so much better when the target is unsuspecting."

"When did you become an alicorn?" Celestia asked, hoping to annoy him as much as he annoys her.

"An excellent question."

...

"Are you going to answer it?"

"No."

Silver asked, "Can I guess?"

"No."

...

"Not in our current company," Mr. Tome added.

The Patronus returned, along with Twilight's voice. "Yes, we're having a sleepover. Ready girls?"

There was a brief pause, then, "HI PRINCESSES!" shouted six voices. "HI SILVER!" they added, sounding less synchronised the second time.

"I'd love to learn the spell, Silver," Twilight's voice added at the end. "Could you teach Rarity too?"

Celestia looked at Silver, who had made her promise not to speak of the spell with anyone who did not already know it, and to teach it to no one else without his permission.

"Probably not," said Silver. "It's... classified."

"Speaking of classified," Mr. Tome began as the Patronus disappeared once again. "I am about to speak of something sensitive. May I erect a silencing barrier? It must not be overheard, even by the guard."

Shining Armor, currently in attendance by request of Twilight (to guard Silver), stepped forward-

"Stand down, Shining Armour," her sister spoke in the royal Canterlot voice, as she always did when speaking with employees and peers whom she perceived were not her equal. "If our advisor says thou must not hear it, then thou must not hear it."

Shining Armor turned to face-

"She is your princess too," Celestia informed him. "If she gives you an order, you do not question it by asking me for confirmation."

Celestia did not need that barrier coming between her and Luna again. She has had a thousand years to think of her many mistakes, and she would not repeat that one.

The captain of the guard stepped back again, looking shocked (Celestia rarely used that tone with anypony, let alone her protectors) and ashamed. "I... I'm sorry, princess."

"It is my sister who deserves the apology," Celestia informed him. "Not I."

"I'm sorry, Princess Luna."

"Do not forget we can detect honesty, Shining Armor. It is good thou art willing to say the words, but refrain from speaking them again until thou means them as much as thou meant them for our sister."

He did not respond, only bowing his head.

"Better."

Celestia, whose magic perception spell had never ended, noticed the blur of a ward spring into existence around the four ponies at the table.

"There is the matter of a certain pair of favours," Mr. Tome began now that they were enshrouded in and by silence, "and a certain way in which I have decided they shall be repaid."

Celestia looked to her sister. She saw apprehension in Luna's features. This did not bode well.

"How?" she asked.

"There is a ritual-"

"No," said Celestia at once. "No sacrificial rituals may be performed in Equestria. If you do not know that law, it is time you learned."

"As part of the favour you said you'd grant if I helped your sister leave her room," he said just as sternly, "you will hear out the terms, no matter how much you do not want to. I did not want your message, and yet I received it. You will now listen to mine."

Celestia's Patronus returned at this time, but she hardly paid attention to it. It was wavering wildly, and she ultimately decided to tell it to tell Twilight that they should speak in pony later – a relatively happy thought – then dismiss itself once the message was delivered.

"Speak," said her sister to her fool, a frown on her face.

"As I was saying, there is a ritual called the Unbreakable Vow."

"I have not heard of that ritual," said Celestia.

"Did you not just say that rituals are forbidden within this country's borders?" he asked. "Rules for thee and not for me, I presume?"

"Rituals may not be performed," Celestia said, not dignifying his presumption with denial. "A select few may know about them."

"Whatever you say."

Luna looked about to reply-

"I suspect she speaks true," Riddle cut her off, "but I am not in the mood to be charitable. It is still the case that she is allowed to know of rituals, but others are not. In any case, the Unbreakable Vow was invented beyond this country's borders, so you would not know about it. Its purpose is exactly as the name would suggest."

"Like magical contracts?" Luna asked.

Riddle shook his head. "Magical contracts can be broken with enough effort. Unbreakable Vows are more powerful, as implied by the fact that they are made by ritual magic. They work on a much deeper level than a piece of paper."

"What... are the sacrifices?" Celestia asked, even though she really did not want to ask.

"Three sacrifices are required for the dread act of binding a pony's will for all time," Riddle Tome lectured. "First, the one who makes the Vow must be a pony who could have chosen to abide by the terms, and sacrifices the potential for choice. Mr. Silver has already consented to make this sacrifice, as have I and Ms. Memory."

"Not just consented," Silver spoke up. "I'd prefer to be bound."

"You already know of this?" Celestia asked the young colt, who should be far too young to know about ritual magic... and yet is old enough to make original discoveries in pegasus magic. "And of rituals in general?"

"In depth," Silver nodded. "I learned the fundamental principles of ritual magic outside Equestria, so your laws didn't apply."

She gave a mental sigh.

"Why not just write up a renewable contract instead of performing a ritual?" asked Luna, eyebrows furrowed.

"We already have," Silver answered. "But it won't last forever. The magic isn't quite as strong or permanent as a Vow. And if the contract gets destroyed, there goes the bindings."

The fool nodded. "As he says. Let us get back to the sacrifices. The Vower sacrifices their free will about the Vow's contents. The one who receives the Vow must be one who could have come to trust the vower, but relinquishes that potential for trust. I recommend a random guard be chosen to fulfill that purpose. An intelligent one. Or a lawyer. A Vow's intent is also binding, and ours shall not be simple to comprehend. Whomever you choose must be smart enough to follow complex language clauses as they are spoken."

"Why don't you receive the Vow?" asked Celestia. "If you are going so far as to demand it."

"I will never be capable of receiving a Vow," he explained. "I have no trust to sacrifice." He seemed to pause, and not because Luna had gasped at his words. "Are the sacrifices thus far too 'dark' to abide in your borders?" he asked the country's ruler.

Celestia was frowning heavily. "If the Vower is willing, as he seems to be, I might permit the first. But speak more of the sacrificed trust. If a trusting pony made that sacrifice, would they be able to trust ever again?"

"Yes," said Mr. Tome. "And even if that were not the case, if you are thinking that theory explains my lack of trust, you are mistaken. I have never received a Vow before."

"Then how does it work?" she asked.

"A Vow's receiver sacrifices the potential for trusting that one particular pony on that one particular issue. I am told that those who receive a Vow often have trouble trusting the Vower about other matters after the fact. They sometimes cannot receive more Vows from a pony once they have sacrificed their trust for that pony the first time. But it does not affect their trust for any other ponies. Not in an overt, magical way. The decision to demand a Vow might impact a pony's psychology, but that would only apply if the receiver was the one who initially demanded the Vow. Yours truly is more likely to be affected in this case, and I already trust no one, so it works out in the end. A husband who sacrifices his trust for his wife by forcing her to Vow faithfulness is not the same as a naturally naive pony receiving a Vow from somepony they had never met before that day. We can bypass the consequences of sacrificed trust through the second scenario. If a random guard is ordered by his or her Princess to accept the Vow, and they do it as a matter of duty instead of personal investment in the issue at hand, their trusting nature should not be affected. Even less if it is a stallion who already has experience mistrusting others. Perhaps a pony who regularly interviews lying criminals."

"And if we do not find reassuring your speculation about whom we should choose and why?"

"I do not mind paying bits to the receiver for the inconvenience, but as point of fact, this part of the ritual is the least important. I can recall no stories of serious problems ever coming from sacrificed trust. I only engaged in speculation because my curiosity got the better of me. This is the first time I have ever thought so closely about that aspect of the ritual. The first and third sacrifices are often the ones that inspire hesitancy and consideration, not the second."

Celestia and her sister exchanged a glance. He's been honest so far.

"What is the third sacrifice?" Luna asked.

"The one who seals the ritual, the enforcer, permanently sacrifices a portion of their magic to bind the Vow forever."

"No," said Celestia at once.

"Not even unicorn criminals?" Riddle countered with equal speed. "They could be offered lighter sentences in exchange for losing a portion of their magic."

"So that's-" Silver began, then cut himself off. He and his mentor locked gazes, and something seemed to pass between them.

"Yes," Mr. Tome said. "It is." He turned to face Celestia again. "Less disposable magic would also make it harder for former criminals to engage in future criminal behaviour. A certain near-death experience and its perpetrator come to mind."

"That last part was not honest," her sister observed.

"Fine. It was not a near-death experience for me. It would have been for anypony else. Especially typical non-unicorns. The point stands that a pony who recklessly endangers the life of another pony out of anger by casting a potentially lethal spell should perhaps not have enough magic to engage in that folly again."

"You are doing this for revenge against Blueblood?" Celestia asked, eyes narrowing.

"That would be a wonderful side-benefit," he said with a grin. "But no. I am doing this for the vow itself. For the purpose of the world's safety. Besides, I doubt that idiot would be capable of comprehending the conditions of the Vow. Other recently imprisoned nobles might serve better. Though if you would rather not help criminals receive lighter sentences, simultaneously making Equestria a safer place in the process, the standard practice of Unbreakable Vows is to offer large amounts of financial compensation to the binder. I would not mind paying that either."

"Riddle Tome..." her sister said slowly. "If you are offering to cover all the expenses yourself, what precisely are you proposing we do to repay our favours?"

"Your and your sister's favours shall be repaid thus: in exchange for her demand that I return to this palace as soon as possible and your demand that I do something I would rather not do, you will arrange and allow this Vow to be made as soon as possible. Thrice. One for Mr. Silver, one for Ms. Memory, and one for myself. All of the same content. I will describe the meaning and intent of the Vows when the time comes to bind them. I do not think you will object when you hear it."

There was a stressed pause.

Celestia sat back in her chair, thinking about a thing she would rather not think about. Considering a thing she would rather not consider. There was one last thing she had to ask. "What did you mean when you said this is for the safety of the world?"

The gray pony's student chimed in again. "I've been prophesied to save and/or destroy the world," Silver said, the casual tone not at all matching the dreadful claim that would have produced an equally dreadful silence, if not for his continued speech. "We'd like to make sure it becomes the 'save' part, so the Vow's basic premise is that I'll swear not to engage in stupid behaviour that might destroy the world. Since Mr. Tome and Memory are alicorns, and since they're my friends, they might be involved in the future described by the prophecy. That's why they're taking the same Vow."

There was another one of those stressed pauses.

"Save and or destroy?" Celestia eventually asked. "It could be either?"

Silver nodded. "It could be both."

"Both?" her sister inquired incredulously. "How could it be both?"

"Destroy the physical planet, save the occupants," Silver explained. "That's probably how it'll turn out in the end. Not that I want to turn out that way. I'll do everything in my power to stop it. But it is prophecy, and my mind thinks that's the most likely outcome in the long run."

"How do you think you could enact destruction on that scale?"

"Not intentionally," Silver answered. "Definitely not intentionally, unless there's a scenario I haven't imagined. It could just be that I watch the world end without saving it."

"Why would you not try to save it?"

"Because it's about to die anyway? And it'd be more merciful than putting it on life preserve? Or maybe just too costly. If you had to choose between the world or its ponies, which would you choose?"

Her mind was forced to take a brief break to think about this. The answer was obvious, but...

"Why do you believe the world will die?"

"Because I intend to live a long time," answered the alicorn. "Do you think the planet will last forever? Certain signs suggest that it won't, at least on the scale of millions of years."

Celestia did not know how to answer that question. She had never thought of that question. In all her centuries, she had never thought to ask about the infinite – the ultimate fate of her country and planet and ponies.

She had decided that she would stop any evils from destroying her country. She had not considered that everything she seeks to protect might eventually end of its own accord.

Death by old age is nearly impossible to prevent. Her repeated failures at encouraging ascendency in the past had convinced her to stop trying to force the exceptions into existence. But to think that death by old age could happen to the planet itself...

She had never thought to take the concept of 'all ponies eventually die, minus a few rare exceptions' and extrapolate it to everything else.

Even if she had thought in those terms, she might not have believed she could stop it, given her own experiences of failure on the smaller scale of individual ponies.

She certainly would not have imagined another pony taking it upon himself to force the exceptional circumstance of infinity upon a world that would otherwise die – to use magic to force life to continue despite nature demanding otherwise.

Now that she has thought if it, she could see how such an ambition, while noble, would come with a great deal of risk.

"On the other hoof," Silver continued, "I might make a stupid mistake that leads to the destruction of the world. Either directly, or in a roundabout way. Teaching spells to ponies who aren't ready for them might just do it, for example. Which is why it's very important to keep the knowledge of how to cast the spell I just taught you a secret. Or something similar to that. If I take this Vow, I won't be allowed to rationalise stupidity on a planetary scale, no matter how good my intentions might be."

Mr. Tome cut in at this point. "The good intentions are part of the problem, Mr. Silver."

The colt sighed. "I know."

Celestia glanced at her sister to confirm that they'd been honest thus far.

She then thought about everything she had learned. She thought about her laws, and why she made them.

She thought about what these two ponies would do if she did enforce them.

She imagined these two ponies leaving, going to their mysterious homeland, a land of less supervision – less safety – to carry out this dangerous and significant bit of magic regardless of her decision.

She thought of trying to stop them from doing that as well.

She thought of the snapped twig.

There was a long, final silence.

"Very well," she forced herself to say. "Shining Armor shall receive the Vow, I think. For Silver and Memory, at least. We may have to spend time searching for your Vow's receiver."

The distrusting, untrustworthy fool nodded acceptance. "Keen Eye from Canterlot University might do. And the enforcer?"

"Might take time," Celestia said uncomfortably.

"Do not dally," Riddle Tome commanded. "This is best done as soon as possible, given the stakes. I returned to what I thought was a dangerous situation in ten minutes. I solved the comparatively minor problem of emotional distress in twenty. Thirty minutes total, to do as you both requested. Keeping in mind that the future of Equestria might be at stake, how long will it take to repay the favours?"

"How long do you think it should take?" his pupil interjected.

"I think your Vow should be bound before the end of my shift," Mr. Tome answered. "Seven hours-"

"Is hardly enough time!" Celestia snapped. "Decisions about permanently sacrificing magic-"

"Could be made in seconds, under the right circumstances-"

"But not these circumstances-"

"How do these circumstances not warrant haste?"

"They clearly have not warranted haste for the months you have been here!"

"I have not had a means to do this for those months! I knew of your laws from the beginning. You would have prevented it. You would not have listened. Not without the circumstances that arose this day forcing your hoof. Say otherwise and let your sister tell me you are lying, or be silent about my lack of haste!"

The two ponies had raised their voices, but not gone so far as to shout. They were both breathing deeply, gazes locked.

"Not to mention my lack of horn," Silver added into the short silence. "And his. I assume it's needed for the ritual?"

"Yes," said Mr. Tome, voice still containing trace amounts of lingering emotion. "It might be possible for pegasi to make Vows with crossed wings, and earth ponies with crossed hooves. Or it might not be. I had been considering we try it that way until December. I knew from the start that horns would work. Though we should still have a small, insignificant Vow be sworn by somepony else as a test, just in case something does go wrong."

"You have not even tested it?!"

"Of course I have," he snapped. "Just not using unicorn horns."

"And you're confident nothing will go wrong if we do use horns?" she asked with extreme skepticism.

"I am," he sneered. "So are you. If you are truly familiar with ritual magic despite your rule, you should have perceived that the sacrifices are perfectly appropriate for the spell's purpose. More so than most rituals, in fact."

She did. That was the horrible part. She could see exactly how the principles fit together, how the sacrifices matched the power drawn from them.

This ritual is... she hates to even think the word, but the ritual is cleaner than all the other rituals she knows about. It wastes nothing. It is perfectly efficient for its purpose.

The purpose of binding a pony's will forever.

What had she just agreed to?

Comments

[Nightsclaw]

Still loving the character interactions in this.

[Booster Spice]

Legalease dance right on the Turing boundary between rigid definition and flexibility. There is always wiggle room, unless the text becomes complex enough to become sentient. As GPT3 is approaching.

[RDDash]

This is not your average swearing on the wand to make the unbreakable vow, I almost got lost at what they are trying to accomplish. (I think I am thinking about wizard's oath)

[The Guy Who Writes]

10937696
The original HPMoR set up these rules for the Unbreakable Vow.

In short, the author did it this way for two reasons: to explain why the Vow wasn't used all over the place in the magical world whenever two parties had trouble trusting each other, and to explain his conception of ritual magic for the HPMoR universe:

1. Rituals require permanent sacrifice.
2. The difference in strength between ordinary spells and rituals is like night and day.
3. In every ritual chant, first you speak the sacrifice, then you speak the use commanded OF the sacrifice.

Those were the basic points, with the Unbreakable Vow used as an example. Chapter 78, I think. Let me check... nope, it's 74.

When it comes to the sacrifices of the Vow, the first and third (free will and magic) speak for themselves. But Yudkowsky never went into much depth for the second sacrifice, the potential for trust, so I thought I'd contribute my best thoughts as to how Yudkowsky envisioned it. I could've been wrong.

[keybounce]

She still saw no horn, but she that a small circle of fur

But she *saw* that

Destroy the physical planet, save the occupants

Silver, are you planning on uploading everyone? What kind of wish fulfillment world would you make ... magical friendship ponies? :-)

[lainverse]

11348559
You don't need to upload everyone to save from destruction of the planet. Just relocate to another planet of natural or artificial origin. And in the long run and I mean a really really REALLY long run there's a possibility of turning into a pure energy beings without a physical body. Such beings wouldn't need a planet in the first place. And with access to magic it might be even possible to prevent heat death of the universe or simple relocate to another one.

[Poparakelis]

The purpose of binding a pony's will forever.

Celestia is far too kind

[Black--Soul]

Celestia paused. She didn't remember his exact words. This colt and his mentor will be the death of her. Death by nitpicking.

Priceless

[Black--Soul]

This chapter reminds me of a chapter content I published in one of my stories and will eventually in all my longer running stories.
Magnificent story!