Chapter 74: NO 'ELP!
A/N: There has been a retcon of exactly two words in the previous modern day chapter, 73. I am now publishing these chapters basically as I write them, a fully serial production, no buffer of backlog. Both so I stop wasting time endlessly editing minute details that don't matter much, and hopefully to train myself to be more proactive with idea-generation. But that also means that I miss some good ideas until it's too late to get it right the first time around.
"WINNERS WINNERS LETTUCE DINNERS!"
In a small room with décor the same as the environment of the game, two colts appeared, standing across from each other with a big, pulsating brain between them. Two plates of lettuce lay upon the brain, accompanied by napkins and silverware, looking quite extremely appetizing to the pony palette if not for the gross mass of meaty walls, ceiling, and furniture.
"Good job Bang," said Mithril, having remembered during that final stretch what this colt once asked to be called. He shrunk his Patronus to normal size and mentally commanded it to hide, which it did. He took off his helmet (there was no longer an illusion of 'Mithril' above it) and dismissed his mundane mane enchantment. "I was wondering if you'd win," said Prince Horizon.
"I have been through middle school," said Big Bang in a bragging tone. "Why'd ya even give me the chance?" He gave a knowing grin. "Or were you just being a clever-stupid little brat?" He took a big bite out of the lettuce, looking completely unbothered by the surrounding setting as he ate.
"Well, no comment about the brat thing, but…" Horizon took a moment in his search for the right way to put it. "I already got the reward Circus promised me by making it to the last five minutes. In those last thirty seconds, I could've won just by flying away. Probably nopony could've caught me, even the other air-buckers and pegasi. So I gave somepony who actually did almost everything right a chance to win. You made it to the home stretch, and I could've been like 'Ha ha! Sucks to be you, I win!', which isn't a truly happy thought. Or I could've been like 'You know what, you made it this far, you came closer than anyone, you did everything right to fool a normal colt my age, so I'll give you a chance.' I still wasn't just letting you win, you did have to beat my last-second gotcha. But it was better than, for example, the 'chance' I gave Soft Spoken, which wasn't really a chance at all."
"Go on." Bang took another bite of lettuce. It was almost like he was grazing it. The silverware was ignored.
"Think of it like… I made it to the end, but me winning at that point would be easy and boring and pointless, so I offered something like a coinflip to the contestant who came closest. Also, Circus did set aside ten minutes for this conversation. One of the whole reasons Circus did all this was to have me get out more, instead of reading alone in my room. So… yeah. Conversation time. Congratulations, by the way."
A pathetic kazoo sound played in the room, and there were two weak sprays of confetti from two unseen openings on the ground, sprays which didn't get very far, reach very high, or contain all that much confetti.
"Oh," said Bang, swallowing. And he was already done? He eats fast. "Well… thanks, I guess." There was another wimpy kazoo sound, and Big Bang looked at the confetti to his right, then left. "But what about…? Wait, time travel, shut-in, right. Quick check, have you ever heard of-" Big Bang took a deep breath, then sternly shouted in a guttural accent, "NO 'ELP!"
Horizon's eyebrows rose. "I have not."
"Yeah, so, there's this dragon in Circus. Uh, adult section, not kids or teens. Calls himself 'Goo'. Keeps his profile private. Doesn't look like any real dragon from outside Circus, so he's probably disguising how he looks. Nopony knows who he actually is. And… you know what Circus challenges are usually like?"
"Not a clue."
Big Bang seemed particularly interested in talking about this, and Horizon wasn't in a mood to stop him yet. Horizon took a bite of lettuce himself and settled in for someone else's monologue, for a change.
"They're like what we did today. Only, less… um… zero sum. Less like a lottery too. WAAAAY more small games to play, chances to win, multiple winners. Lots of different ways to play, you can try to win honestly, win by yourself, win with a group, steal from other players, do all of the above, do none of the above, do a mix of the above like most players end up doing, whatever you want. There's one grand goal to shoot for, but it's usually a goal nobody can do on their own, and a lot of players don't even go for it, they just stick to the side content. And it's one big free-for-all map where you can encounter anypony else who's playing."
Horizon swallowed. "Okay…" Took another bite.
"Okay, so, when those come around, Goo always joins up and takes on the hardest stuff. Things that everypony thinks only teamers can do. But Goo tackles them alone. And a lot of times, ponies come along and see this one dragon taking on this massive task, a boss fight, an obstacle course, a super hard puzzle, whatever. And they just try to help him, you know? See an equine in need, help an equine indeed, and all that. But whenever anyone comes too close to Goo when he's in the middle of something, whenever they look like they're about to help him, you know what he shouts?"
Horizon chewed, swallowed, and said, "NO 'ELP!"
"Hey, you even got the spittle, good job." That had not been intentional, but Bang seemed pretty laid back, even in up-tight company. "But yeah, he tells them to stay back so he can do it on his own."
"And what if someone helps anyway?"
"If somepony helps anyway, it's not like he can stop them. Well, he can't stop them when PvP is banned, which it is for some of the challenges, or in some specific areas of a challenge. And when PvP is allowed, he doesn't stop them unless they attack him first. But anyway, when someone helps him even after he shouted 'NO 'ELP!' at them, he just stubbornly waits for the challenge to reset so he can beat it 'ethically', as he puts it. And when he finally wins 'ethically', he starts flexing and gloating and pretending like there's this big audience watching him and he says 'Ooooooh now that's a strong dragon!' like he's talking in third pony. Even back before nopony was paying attention to him. And of course he's still doing it now."
"I see," said Horizon. "And just how skilled is this 'Goo'?" He took another bite of lettuce, seeing that it was almost half gone.
"Best Circus player there is," Bang answered, sounding renewed in his eagerness to gush about this. "Well, he wasn't at first, but he is now. Even better than Prince Excelsior on average stats. But forget the stats, he's just hilarious to watch. And inspiring, when he beats these crazy-difficult things on his own. There's even an official category for it now: solo, self-found, self-made. No outside devices. No soliciting help from others. Not even any negotiating or bartering for mutual gain with others. You can do PvP if you want, but you can't take anything that other players have, so PvP is all risk, no gain. It's worth a ticket multiplier if you stick to those rules for a whole challenge, and multipliers are not common. And you can tell Goo doesn't care for the attention or the fame or even the tickets, he's having fun win or lose, but also he really cares about actually getting better and overcoming challenges. Oh, and if he ever comes across another player trying to do something difficult on their own, he'd stand nearby, and if he saw somebody else try to help them, he'd say, 'OI! DON'T BE A 'ELPER! 'E DON'T NEED NO 'ELP! And when he's shouting 'NO 'ELP!', it can sound like he's mad, but everything else he does kinda feels like over-the-top acting, so he doesn't come off as mean, just…" Big Bang trailed off, trying to find the right word.
"Eccentric," Horizon offered.
"Yeah, that's it."
"So… what's his opinion on group work? Negative, I take it?" Another bite. Almost done now.
"Not at all. He's not against group work in general. Even when you're as good as he is, there's a lot of stuff that you just can't do on your own, and Circus makes whole areas filled with stuff like that. The big goal of each challenge is usually smack-dab in the middle of a big area that only big teams can tackle, and it's WAAAY harder than anything else. The stuff Goo does alone is, like, the duo/trio/quad stuff, things in the open world away from that big area. Goo will usually find a group for the BIG team-only areas. No complaints about 'elping unless a different group 'elps his group, and only if his entire group agrees they don’t want 'elp. And he's a really good team player. He actually wants the team to win, not just himself, and he makes sure everybody gets their fair share of the spoils, and nobody gets left behind, even if it puts him at risk. And that's way better than a lot of players behave in team challenges, especially dragons. So he doesn't have a thing against teamwork or friendship in general. Just sometimes. Just when… it's not his goal, you know?"
"And…" said Horizon, trying to think, trying to get to the root of all of this. Based on Bang's animated voice and eagerness to talk about 'Goo'… "You've taken this dragon as your role model?" One last bite, and he had cleaned off his plate.
"More than most ponies," said Bang, smiling. "Not more than most dragons. They're OBSESSED with him. But a lot of dragons suck at magic, so they feel they can't reach his power level. And a lot of dragons also have a hard time being team players, even though they know that's the right mindset to have when you're on a team and you're competing with other groups. There's a reason why all-dragon teams never win the team challenges. And Goo never teams up with a full team of dragons either, usually it's him and a bunch of ponies, maybe one other dragon. And like I said, highest win rate. So Goo is like this unreachable messiah guru who's everything good about being a dragon: powerful, independent, self-confident, capable, passionate, assertive, willful, inspiring, honorable, principled. And none of the bad: arrogant, short temper, abrasive personality, can't work with others, doesn't like to slow down and think about problems. You probably know the stereotypes. Heck, you might know the evolutionary biology."
If by 'evolutionary biology', Horizon thought as he chewed the last of the fine cuisine, you mean the Mirror selectively turning the original Atlanteans into different species of cartoon animal based on personality. Or perhaps the original Atlanteans self-selected their own species when they first entered the Mirror? And the prideful-independent-powerful Atlanteans chose dragon instead of pony or dog? And then those personalities interbred with mostly only each other for thousands of years. Or maybe the Mirror assigned species at random? And then only the dragons WITH those qualities survived their new environmental circumstances and passed down their genes and personalities to their offspring. As usual with magic, laws of nature such as 'evolutionary biology' need critical re-examining. But that theory explains why most 'dragons' would have similar patterns of cognition to each other, and thus similar 'stereotypical' strengths and weaknesses – qualities which don't just stop at the obvious biological stuff like magic-proof scales and magic breath.
"Eh," said Bang. "And remember that a lot of dragons see Goo that way. I just think about him like any other role model."
Horizon nodded in understanding. "And how good are you in average stats?"
"Top five in my age group. And always looking to improve."
Well, that explains the Occlumency.
"That's… top five among unicorns?"
"No, top five overall."
"I take it you're fifth place?" When a company advertises itself as 'RATED ON THE LIST OF TOP 100 COMPANIES IN OUR FIELD WORLDWIDE!', they usually aren't in the top 10. Or even the top 80.
"Eh, technically I'm fourth. The guys above me started training earlier than me. Private tutors, rich parents, you know the deal. I'm from a good ol' small town smack dab in outer Equestria. Family owns a small business, lots of older siblings, no pressure for me to inherit, lots of free time, so I spend it all here at the Circus."
"Didn't you say you started really early?" He remembered something like that.
"My parents signed me up for dueling kinda early. They didn't tutor me, or buy tutors for me, just dropped me off at the dueling studio once a week because they thought a sport would be good for me."
"Ah."
There was a brief pause.
"So…" said Horizon.
"So…" said Bang. "You gave us all a great challenge. Way cooler than the hide-and-seek-and-tag I was expecting. I don't think there's ever been a challenge like this before. But at the end there… you 'elped me." Bang grinned. "You're a dirty, dirty 'elper. And you're a little brat. You know that?"
At this point, Horizon's matching grin was so strong that he might not have been able to stop it with a will of Occlumency. "So you're saying I should just embrace my inner-winner and always give it my all?"
"Pretty much. We're not foals anymore. Don't need handouts, no sir."
"Well, I might think that way. You might think that way. But I was kind of worried about the watching audience and parents. Even if they were going to get memory-locked. Not everybody understands the wise, wise ways of 'NO 'ELP!' like you and Goo do."
"Most ponies know the best of the best think that way, thanks to Goo," said Bang. "And that's all that matters."
"Five minutes left," said Circus's Royal Canterlot voice. "Keep going, guys, this is great stuff."
Bang seemed to shrink a little. "Well that's not gonna make me self-conscious or anything." He laughed nervously. "I thought this was private."
"Who said it isn't?"
Horizon sighed. "Circus, stop broadcasting the rest, please. Unless we say you can release it later."
"Fine, fine," said Circus's normal voice.
"So when did you figure out it was me?" asked Horizon. "When you saw me?"
Now looking relaxed again, "Nah, I remembered your real name from when we shared profiles. When Canterlot announced that 'Prince Horizon' was responsible for the big Patronus earlier today, I was like, 'Hey, that sounds familiar', so I checked all the profiles I'd ever met, and I was like, 'Woah! Mithril's an Alicorn, that explains how he was so strong!' And then I was like 'Wait! that also means I've met a prince and he's on my acquaintances list!' And there was this moment where I thought I should brag to all my friends, but then Circus reminded me that you shared your private profile with me, and talking about that would be like sharing someone's diary, and Circus stated very clearly that you like your privacy, and now that I know that I should go ahead and do whatever I feel like, so I kept it to myself. And then I had to leave Circus for Silver Wing Remembrance Day. My parents bought us all tickets. I wanted to go 'cause those memories that taught me how to air-buck were really cool , and my parents figured it would be a good family holiday. And then you did that thing in the moment of silence. And I was like 'Holy manure he's Silver Wing too!' Mind. Blown."
Well, so much for trying to avoid ego-trips. He hadn't been expecting it, and he knew it was probably bad for his mental health in some way, but hearing that someone else appreciated his stunt just felt so good.
"So I didn't even think twice after you left and Circus said we could follow, I just went straight through the cloud floor – probably scared the crap out of my parents – and then I got eaten by Circus, and the Challenge Rules were explained, and I was all hyped to be the one to find you. Circus warned us we were basically playing the super-lottery, nopony should expect to win, you need luck, not just skill, but fortune does favor the competent and the driven."
With 'fortune' being those portals at the end, Horizon thought.
Bang continued without pause. The brain between them was pulsating much more quickly than earlier. "I almost felt like Circus was talking directly to me because I was already lucky enough to know all that stuff about you. So I tried to be as competent as I could the entire time. Especially because Circus said this would be the first really big event where our ticket earnings will be entirely based on how we play the game, not whether we win or lose."
"Eh, elaborate, please." It was his first time hearing it.
"Well, Circus said winning wouldn't affect ticket count. If somepony does manage to win, they'll probably have a high ticket count because they were playing the game well, but winning just gets the reward, not extra tickets. So I focused more than usual on how I was playing the game. I kept up with the comms, made sure I didn't get banned, I tried all the ideas, even the bad ones. I even came up with the combo idea on my own and I told everypony about it. Even if it meant a lower chance for me personally to win."
This was also his first time hearing about that- no, wait, Soft Spoken had said 'Bang said you have to do both'. Ah. Now it makes sense.
"Why help them, mister 'NO 'ELP!'?"
"Goo would've done it too. I only got that far because of all the great ideas that came before me, the ideas from other ponies. It was a group effort, so it was only fair to share. I had a head start anyway. I began searching for you sooner than most ponies started their Transfigurations."
"In that case I have another question. If you're fine with lowering your own chances to win by sharing info with the competition, why'd you drive away that one pony who almost spotted me?"
"At that point I didn't feel obliged to help anypony else. I did my share to the group effort, and I was going for the win. Can't see through a misdirection, that's on them. Plenty of liar's games in Circus, so they could've practiced. Lawyerific probably would've seen through it. But in the impossible, perfect world known as 'hindsight'-" he said this as if it was a common saying "-maybe I should've called him over so there could be a two-on-one. I wasn't expecting you to be able to fly like Princess Airess."
"Two and a half minutes," warned Circus.
There was a pause.
Then, Horizon asked, "Hey, Circus, can Big Bang keep his memory? It's not like he'll forget he knows me, and he's an Occlumens, and… well, I guess he'd have to promise not to talk about anything…"
Horizon might need to blind his enemies in a desperate emergency, and rely on them not having a ready-made solution. It probably wasn't anything like the end of the world if it got out, same as the broomstick bones – not that those were known by the game players or watchers – but it was one more advantage he should make token efforts to preserve, even if at this point it's probably blown.
He had little doubt the Unspeakables have invented at least five potential counters by now, untested of course, but Amelia Bones isn't the type of witch to let Britain's perceived enemies get away with a battle tactic more than once, if she can help it, and she was there at the destruction of Azkaban.
So he did not think it would be any more of a problem when he asked, "Could a magical NDA contract at least be an option for the winner, instead of a mandatory memory lock? And then Bang can pick his poison from there?"
A magical paper appeared in front of Big Bang, whose eyes were wide. "Whoa, really?"
"Just make sure you don't get captured and tortured by a dark lord who wants to know how to counter my technique and you're the only one who remembers. Besides me and Madam Chaos." And Hermione, he thought, remembering the one other alicorn he knew about who might have been playing.
Bang no longer looked so eager. "Eh… heh… you're joking, right?"
"Mostly. I'd give it a 0.1% subjective probability of happening. And they'd probably memory-wipe you instead of killing you afterwards if you have an anchor, so if you suddenly find yourself feeling super stressed and terrible for absolutely no reason you can remember, maybe go to a specialist to reverse any memory-wipes. Or check for memory locks, if you CAN check for those."
"Eeeeeehhhhh…" said Bang. He pushed the contract away with a hoof. "You know what, maaaaybe I'll forget it after all."
From the brain upon which the contract rested, a dark-blue bruise grew from the healthy pink folds. An illusion above that welt read 'Worry', and from that welt sprung iron chains of fear – 'fear' was sketched in various fonts on every exposed surface of the iron – that quickly constricted the entire brain.
"Oh, stop being such a worry-wort," said Circus. "Both of you. How about this, I'll keep watch on ya, Big Bang. If something even remotely evil happens to ya, even outside my borders, I'll know right away and ask Daddy Discord to handle it. But no more 'elp after you reach twenty-five. Ya hear, Bangy? If you don't want something bad to happen after that, grow strong enough to not let it happen. Good? Good. That said, those services ain't cheap, so it'll cost ya all the tickets you just earned. Keep yer tickets, play it kinda safe, and forget this awesome challenge, or sign the contract, keep your memories, and get the protection of Chaos!" Circus's voice had deepened and distorted to a dramatic flair for the word 'chaos'. "Thirty seconds, make 'em count!"
Big Bang stared at the contract for twenty seconds.
When Circus started the ten second countdown, Big Bang signed it.
A small needle of 'friendship' gently pierced the blue welt. It quickly deflated and return to healthy pink. The chains fell away from the brain.
"Nice talking with you," said Prince Horizon.
"See ya 'round sometime?" asked Bang.
For a moment, Horizon hesitated to make a commitment. Then he put his helmet on and mundane-ified his mane. "Mithril will see you around."
He disappeared from the room and reappeared in his Astral Plane. (Leaving his helmet to fall to the ground and leaving a blinking unicorn behind. Big Bang had never before seen a teleportation method that left your clothes behind.).
A tempus told Horizon he had one minute.
"Send mail to Circus asking them to clear the room Bang is in," he said aloud.
"Sending… sending… sendi-" said the robotic voice of his Astral Plane's computer. "Received. You have mail!"
He read it.
Pfft. Doesn't even know he's NOT restricted to the default location of where he left the material plane. Some Alicorn. There was a looping image of large, rolling eyes.
Horizon took a moment to huff, was about to put that claim to the test, and then, "You've got mail!"
He was running out of time, but he decided to skim it real quick.
We have an hour of Time to review Astral Plane comparisons of the span when you were memory charmed and/or Confunded, among other things. Interested?
Y/N
-Excelsior
Prince Horizon blinked a few times. It would take up his only remaining spare hour… but hey, that's what spare hours are for. It's not like he's even used his other four for study just yet, so he'll still have an emergency escape. Not that he even needs emergency escapes now that he has access to the Astral Plane anytime, anywhere.
As far as Riddle himself has been able to determine after thirty-five years, there is no means by which an Alicorn can be prevented from retreating to the Astral Plane, other than unconsciousness. And unconsciousness would prevent deliberate Time-Turning too.
Now that Horizon's an Alicorn and he knows about that magical quirk/perk of having an Astral Plane, he can be a lot more liberal with the prospect of using up all his time-turned hours each day, leaving none for emergency escape routes. He doesn't intend to make a habit out of it. There is something to be said about always being ready to go back an hour or two for preparation time during an emergency. But he's no longer going to avoid exhausting his hours fully outside of emergency situations.
Besides, he can always have 2 hours of private study instead of 4, and still keep 2 hours in reserve that way.
"Send mail to Excelsior, Yes."
"Sen- received."
Prince Horizon once again experienced the strange sixth-sense of someone knocking on his door, a door which he didn't even know he had until today.
"Um… enter?"
"No," said a voice into his plane. "You check first. Do not simply allow a random knocker to enter your Astral Plane. You never know who they might be."
"Eh… how do I-? Um. Astral Plane. Show me the knocker."
On his screen appeared what looked to be a live image of Prince Excelsior, who looked to be standing in his own Astral Plane. "Confirm my identity," the pony on the screen ordered, as if speaking to Horizon through the computer.
"Um… what was the password we came up with together for the door in Diagon Alley?" That was a time where literally nobody should have been observing them, given how many insane precautions they set up. Unless someone got the information directly from one of their brains, nobody else should know.
A book floated to the alicorn on the screen. The alicorn consulted the book, then said, "Sword Fish Melon Friend. And you do not need to speak your commands to your Astral Plane aloud. Furthermore, it is far more forgiving than mental articulation."
Horizon mentally commanded his 'door' to swing open like the door from Diagon Alley had swung open when he spoke the password. The glass on his computer screen – a screen which was more than large enough to admit a pony through – lifted upward with a mechanical sound, like a door from Star Wars. Which was not a swing-open movement like had wanted/expected, but it was cooler, and if he had known it was possible, he definitely would have ordered his Astral plane to do that instead.
The thestral alicorn stepped through the large, screenless computer monitor, looking…
"You in another bad mood?"
The dark alicorn's frown became slightly less pronounced. "I am in a thoughtful, introverted, and thus negative mood, yes."
"Do you want to talk about it?" the light alicorn asked, not even realizing he didn't feel afraid to ask the question. It was not at all like the time he first encountered one of this being's 'bad moods'.
The thestral considered the offer to talk. "I would like to give the brief abstract, yes."
Horizon settled in for a brief listen. "Shoot."
The thestral adopted his standard lecturing cadence. "Equestria has a saying that it doesn't matter how smart you are, all addicts are stupid when it comes to their addictions. Especially when you cannot even see the addiction for what it is. Worse still are those who did not remain on what Equestria calls the 'innocent' end of the addiction spectrum. My stupidity, my failings, my choices did not redound only upon me, in those decades of my life. I am in a bad mood because it is rarely pleasant for an addict to be reminded of their worst sins, their lowest points, even after they are in a better place. Less pleasant still to comb through the low points deliberately, carefully, in detail." He sighed. "This is my own final extra hour of the day. I need a good distraction while my mood settles and I've had time to process."
"A distraction like pointing out the mistakes of others instead of yourself?"
The lips of the thestral twitched upward. "Let's begin."
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Wowee, first! Probably not by the time I post this longass comment.
Great chapter, love this Big Bang guy. He's cool. The description of the screen airlock was cool. I choose to believe it played the Doom 1 door open sound.
The puzzle, hmm. What's our deadline? Next Friday? These chapters have been super frequent (much to my exuberant joy)
Hypothesis 1: The Sense of Doom is not quite the magical ID of Tom Riddle that Harry shares with him. Rather, it's either wholly or partly the partial mindset that was imprinted onto Harry. As long as these two minds have it, one via the negative cynicism, another via his Dark Side, the magic will resonate violently.
Hypothesis 2: Tom Riddle excised (all but a remnant of) his cynicism, and thus the shared mindset, through 35 arduous years, clearing the resonance. When he's playing the part of Voldie, the resonance returns by itself, somehow.
If these are true:
Answer N. 1: If his Occlumency personality is Voldemort, the resonance returns because he's just that good at faking personalities (the Master of Masks) that magic itself gets confused.
Answer N. 2: Instead of presenting Voldemort as a fake personality, what causes the resonance is Confounding himself to temporarily become Voldemort in his true mindset. I think this is the most likely answer.
EDIT: Thinking about it, the riddle Draco's trying to solve is 'How can Redeememort cast Crucio while still being good-ish?' Which Riddle and Potter seemingly felt was a trick the latter already knew? I haven't gone back to confirm out of lazy, but that makes Answer 1 more likely - Voldie using his Occlumency mindset to cast Crucio.
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Hm... well, I like both of those theories, but you still haven't given the answer I'm looking for.
I don't want to give a hard deadline; probably next Tuesday at the absolute earliest? It'll be two uploads from now; next chap should be rehab, after that should be modern day, and the answer will be revealed right away in the modern chapter.
Ah, a tricky one. I wouldve liked to try working through at another time, but due to changes in sleeping schedules this last week, foodstuffs and weather, Im too distracted by twinges to be able to focus enough on something outside my usual capabilities.
Just how much of an illision does Voldemort have to have to be Seen as real, by observers, but not local magic, projected from an Astral Plain?
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That's not it either. Remember, the solution is something Draco will be able to see and explain, using hints from that interaction in chapter 72, and also a bit of pre-knowledge from HPMoR that he has personal experience with. If Draco doesn't know about Astral Planes (he doesn't), then that's probably not the answer.
... Did you just put Quin69 into your story?
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Don't know who Quin69 is. Wouldn't be surprised if 'NO 'ELP!' became a meme a while back, and more than one person was using it. But no, anybody who's already familiar with the actual referent will probably be able to confidently declare they KNOW the referent, not ask hesitantly, for reasons that will only be obvious to those who know the referent.
Let's examine the puzzle... we know Occlumancy is enough for the Killing Curse (as Harry did it, even while maintaining the Patronus), so it should also be sufficient for the Cruciatus. I don't recall if we've been told that it requires a specific emotional state, but the Killing Curse and Imperius both need one, so that's probably safe to assume. Using a Confundus might work, as it was shown as capable of altering what the Mirror shows you in HPMOR, being an internal force, so it may well also fool other mind-dependent magics. Or maybe he just invented a second-level Crucio, made for teaching, and he doesn't care about them since they have an Anchor anyway so he can cast the AK? Though, even if accurate, that last one feels like it's missing something.
But none of that explains the discrepancy - once the sense of doom, the other time not. While that part could be explained by Circus Voldy just being much further away and only shown on a screen, plus the inherent Harmony magic of Equestria making it weaker... that answer doesn't feel satisfying. And in both cases, the Voldy that was present was not truly malicious, so that's not it either. We just learned about the "alternate reality" spell from Twilight, so maybe the mind patterns were gotten via that? It would count as a clever solution, and a Confundus could likely do it, but there's no way Draco could know of it. Hm.
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The "NO 'ELP!" dragon seems to me like Merlin. Doubt anyone else would be able to exceed Excelsior, and we already know he's the dragon equivalent of an alicorn. His speaking style also matches.
Though, possible counterevidence: Riddle's reaction to seeing him at the memorial was "Finally come out of your cave?", while it seems the "NO 'ELP!" dragon has been around long enough that Riddle would notice.
... or maybe it's just a reference to a few Twitch streamers/their chat, which love using the phrase. Or it's both.
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This song was made for Quin by his chat
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Regarding only your reply to fireeaters, and especially that last sentence, NOW you're getting it. Fully-serial, upload-chapters-right-away, no-buffer-of-backlog means I can no longer perfectly craft chapter dialogue to perfectly match and foreshadow events of 4 chapters down the line. Or even 2. I have to make it fit retroactively.
So here's the bullshit retroactive fit: As we've seen in this most recent chapter, going to Circus isn't quite the same thing as 'getting out of one's cave'. Lots of fun, very educational, very helpful for growth, but it can just as easily be used by solo introverts trying to escape their thoughts for a while, and maybe make a friend along the way, IF you're lucky. And that's not really them getting more than one foot out of their caves.
You basically described Quin's mannerisms, except this one is good at games
Walrus scream and all
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It also wouldn't surprise me if (a) the mannerisms were adopted by multiple people; 'content creation', internet memes, and twitch chat turns 'content creators' into a hivemind that all mimic each other. And (b) the general ethos of no 'elp and its underlying principles is currently being used, implemented, adopted by multiple online personalities. I got it from one of them. I did not get it from 'quin'.
I do not know who quin is. He was not the inspiration for that section. It was someone else.
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"NO 'ELP" superficially reminds me of Let Me Solo Her, of Elden Ring fame.
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Regarding the tolerance for the president bullcrap, well, there were many iterations of himself, who experienced many slightly different iterations of Equestria, something something butterfly affect, and there only ended up being exactly one iteration that decided it was more challenging and fun to take over 'the hard way' now that he knows what mental mistakes to avoid so he doesn't get as annoyed as he did as Monroe. Maybe he murdered Celestia/Luna in complete secrecy, stopped Discord and Chrysalis and later Tirek in a publicly visible way, and the ponies of Equestria insisted he lead them, so he shrugged and arranged a general election so his eternity wouldn't be boring and there would be regular challenges to his reign, but not his life.
Maybe he still does murders in private, maybe his murders are an open secret and nobody's allowed to talk about it and everybody pretends everything is fine. Maybe in that one iteration, Silver arrived and forced him to make the promise, forcing him to go the mostly-non-murder route. Shrugs. Point is, he's complicated enough and versatile enough that he'll come up with different general approaches to the situation based on how the other big powers look when he first gets to Equestria, and how some of the earlier events (like Nightmare Moon) play out. That starting point can probably look a lot different, depending on how friendless Twilight chooses to handle the Nightmare Moon situation. Or IF she approaches it.
At one point I almost decided to have Riddle occasionally be the second-in-command, the most trusted advisor of Discord or Nightmare Moon. But nah. He'd never settle for that in the long run. The long run being almost 6 years at this point.
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Now you're getting it.
Huh, he got better after all
Usually a 1% or less chance would be more acceptable, but this is a magical world with Sombra around.
Though they are semi immortal now.
Should make Nobility extremely nervous, because everyone can become privileged now.