Harry Potter and the Prancing of Ponies

by The Guy Who Writes

Rehabilitation 15.2: Sessioning Starlight

"M-my actions are up to me?" asked the pony whose magic was suppressed, who was effectively an open air prisoner.

Luna nodded, removing the magic suppressor with her own levitation magic. "It is your free will. You can stay, or you can leave. You never have to see me again if you do not wish to. Not even in your dreams."

"M-my d-dreams?" asked Starlight. "Ponies who lose their Cutie Marks d-don't have dreams," she said as if by rote, and in a slightly authoritative tone of knowledge that briefly overcame her sniffles.

Luna's eyes widened. "Not even nightmares?"

Starlight shook her head.

"Well," said Luna, now in a slightly frustrated voice. "I wish my Special Talent had informed me of that situation." She sighed. "But the past is passed. And for all that it is a terrible fate, there are plenty of ponies with Cutie Marks who also do not dream. Just ask my fool. And this is distracting from the issue at hoof. Do you, Starlight Glimmer, wish to learn from me, Selena Lullay, in the hopes that you will get your Cutie Mark back sooner than your allotted sentence, or perhaps develop a new one?"

"A new one?" asked Starlight, now sounding confused and doubtful. "That's impossible."

"Not impossible," said Luna. "Just extremely improbable. I've only ever seen it happen once, and I've been alive for… well, you know how long. It was quite the extraordinary pony who achieved it. And I wouldn't count on it happening again if I were you, but it is something that could happen. For all your faults, you are certainly exceptional, Ms. Glimmer."

There was a long pause.

"Do you know how I could do that?" asked Ms. Glimmer eventually, something like hope in her mostly dead voice.

"I could explain it in the abstract," said Luna. "Think of all your talents as the products of your truest, deepest passions. And imagine that your passions like flames. Little ones, big ones, bright bonfires, blazing suns, and everything in between. Can you do that for me, Ms. Glimmer?"

Ms. Glimmer nodded slowly.

"Good. Now, think of reality like a snowstorm crashing against your flames."

Ms. Glimmer frowned, but she listened raptly.

"Most ponies allow their passions to be extinguished over the course of their lives, one little flame at a time. It is only those fiery passions that refuse to go out which eventually develop into special talents. So if you want to develop a new special talent, you must ask yourself if there are any passions of yours that can be kindled, or re-kindled, or started from nothing. Are there any drivers of yours that can weather the storms of reality, no matter what it throws at you? Passions you can hold close to your heart no matter what happens?"

There was a long pause.

"I… don't know," said Ms. Glimmer, sounding dejected.

"Then I think it is safe to say that there are not. At least, not yet. So as I said, you should not count on that path working for you. That is why I recommend the path to redemption, if you are still interested in learning from me."

Ms. Glimmer slowly nodded. "I am, Princess."

"You do not blame me for arranging that your Cutie Mark be taken away?"

Ms. Glimmer shook her head. Luna did not object, so perhaps that answer was honest.

"Do you blame my sister or the court for their ruling?"

Again, a shake of the head.

"You do not blame Ms. Sparkle for taking away your Cutie Mark?"

Head shake. "She's probably the only pony smart enough to figure out the spell."

"Do you blame my fool for hiding it?"

Head shake. "I guess somepony had to," she said, depressed.

"Do you blame the townsponies for speaking out against you? Sugar Belle and Party Favor and Night Glider?"

There was a pause, then a shake of the head.

Luna sighed. "I see that you do blame them."

"I don't!"

"As a former bearer of the Element of Honesty, I can say with certainty that there is a part of you that does."

There was a stretch of silence.

"I will remark," said Luna after the silence lasted a fairly long while, "that my sister has placed you under a restraining order from that village and its inhabitants for the foreseeable future. If you wish to speak with any of them, it will be under supervision, and they have the right to say 'no' to your presence, and you will not be the only one who speaks with them. In short, you will not be given the chance to manipulate them into reducing your sentence. On us, you can try all you wish, as you already have. On them… you defrauded the townsponies from an integral part of their deeply personal property. You took their Cutie Marks from them for an extended period of time, using primarily words and arguments and social pressure. They have suffered enough of your sophistry."

"Sophistry?" asked Starlight's slightly indignant voice – as indignant as a dead voice could get, which was apparently quite indignant. She was also apparently one of the few ponies who deeply understands what that word means, to the point that she actually took offense. "I wasn't- that wasn't- I-" her voice continued producing useless excuse and denial noises for a while, but she was making eye contact with the former bearer of the Element of Honesty the whole time, and Luna simply stared back with an inquiring eyebrow raised. "I am not a sophist," Starlight eventually said.

"Hm…" said Luna. "You have my regrets. I should not have yet used a word to describe you that you are not yet comfortable accepting. That said, it was my own honest assessment. My sister used the words 'manipulation' and 'exploitation', and I'm not sure how you would take either of those. Out of curiosity, what is the harshest word that you would use to describe your own interactions, relationships, and arguments during your time as a leader?"

"Um…" There was a long pause. "Wrong?"

"How was it wrong?"

A much longer pause. "I lied?"

Luna nodded, as if to herself. "Out of further curiosity, what do you think you did well when running the village?"

And Starlight Glimmer immediately went into a long list of all the things she did well, how meticulously organized and clean she kept the village, how she immediately investigated all disputes in order to resolve them, how she contributed her own magic whenever and wherever she could, especially for large scale infrastructure projects like home-building, not to mention smaller scale endeavors like interior design, exterior design, party organization, town fashion choices, and just about everything else.

Luna held up a hoof, and Starlight stopped speaking, though it took her a few moments to notice. "In summary," said Luna. "You can provide layered and nuanced and complex reasons for why you were in the right, what you did right, what you made right. You are deeply aware of all the ways in which you were right. Correct?"

"…Yes, princess."

"And at least part of the reason you were able to… you had to do all those things in the stead of your villagers is because you had magical access to their Cutie Marks. They could no longer do it for themselves, but you could. Yes?"

"…Yes," she said in a voice so small it was barely audible.

"And yet, when I asked the worst term you would use to describe yourself, you drew a long blank, and then you asked that were 'wrong', which is not very specific, let alone nuanced or complex, let alone a firm conviction. When I asked you to elaborate, you drew a much longer blank, and then asked again that you lied. You didn't state it firmly, you asked. And when I asked about your lying earlier, you could not say why lying is wrong except that it is frowned upon. You are aware what Equestria thinks of you now, correct?"

"Yes," said Starlight, instantly and dejectedly.

"No hesitation in answering that question," Luna said in a sad tone. "You are sensitive to how others perceive you. That is what you care about. You said that lies are frowned upon. You didn't say that lies are a violation of trust, that trust is hard to build and easy to shatter. You didn't say that lies cause ponies to waste hundreds of hours of their lives on counterproductive tasks, like digging a hole because somepony told them there's gold buried deep below. You didn't say that that lies can get ponies killed, if the lie is egregious enough, like by telling an earth pony colt that he can fly, or that you'll catch him if he jumps off a cliff. You didn't say any of that. You simply said that lies are frowned upon. Which tells me that, deep down in your heart of hearts, you are able to convince yourself that lies are fine so long as nopony ever notices or finds out, because they cannot frown upon something that they cannot see."

Starlight's mouth made a few denial/objecting noises, but none of the sentences were completed, many of the individual words weren't completed, and they certainly weren't coherently formed.

Luna raised another hoof, and Starlight's stuttering came to an end. "None of this is how a redeemed pony would behave," Luna explained. "A redeemed pony, when asked what they did wrong, or why it was wrong, would not draw a blank. A redeemed pony would speak of principles, not of perceptions. They would talk about the negative impacts of their past deeds, not the way their past deeds were negatively perceived. They would be able to go into excruciating detail about their wrongdoings, why they were wrong, how they justified the wrongness to themselves, what they have done to address those bad mental habits. They would also quantify the damage they did to others and provide restitution of their own volition, without outside pressure forcing them to do it."

Acknowledged, Riddle thought to himself. From the transcript of the session being produced by a reading-writing quill and parchment, Riddle created a magical copy of Luna's most recently spoken segment and stored it in his robes for later review.

Because as she had spoken that particular description of redemption, Riddle's own mind had not produced a single objection. It sounded like it might be exactly correct, at least on first hearing, although of course he shall examine it closely later to see if careful analysis produces the same feeling of correctness.

And if, from his starting point, only a 'redeemed' pony is capable of casting the Patronus, and all 'redeemed' ponies have the mindset Luna just described, then that is one of the many mindsets he shall strive to adopt as an end goal.

"This is why you have not been forgiven by the townsponies," Luna went on. "You hurt them so deeply, and thus far your awareness of that hurt is 'They don't like me anymore'. It seems as though you only care that your reputation has been stained. And so, until you know their hurt almost as deeply as they know their own hurt, until you can offer something to them in return, something beyond mere words, something that makes up for the pain you caused, you will not be forgiven. And you will not even be allowed to speak with any of them unsupervised. By decree of my sister, as agreed by unanimous vote of the nobles and near-unanimous vote of all Equestrians who were watching your case as it was arbitrated, even taking into account your lawyer's best arguments for a lighter sentence. That's all there is to it, Ms. Glimmer."

Strange, thought Riddle. He knew that, if Luna had said this to himself, about himself, there would have been objections. He would have debated. He would have argued. He would have nitpicked the details until she said something he could fully agree with. Mostly because he himself is quite capable of describing many of his own past mistakes exactly. And he knows that Luna's reaction to that counterargument would basically be 'that's not quite what I meant'.

But when her criticism instead strikes at Starlight Glimmer – a much more blatant example than himself – he finds himself understanding Luna's every word, almost agreeing with her every word. It's why he became so enraptured by Night Court Sessions in the first place. When viewing poignant, cutting, and true critiques leveled at others, his brain could pick and choose which criticisms to accept and apply to himself, at his own pace.

Divorcing yourself from the issue, finding a more blatant example of stupidity than yourself, and being offered a competent point-by-point breakdown of that stupidity, can be such a simple bypass to one's own ego and excuses.

You are supremely competent, he thought to himself, at describing all the reasons for why your clever actions were the smart thing to do, the best move that you saw at the time, the optimal path, the RIGHT thing to do under the circumstances. When you objectively fail in your goals, you are supremely competent at searching for better strategies by criticizing past habits.

And yet, you still are not NEARLY as competent at self-attack as you are at self-defense. For obvious reasons. That is not an ideal state to be in. Mr. Potter pointed out that I could have made Horcruxes for others in order to test my invention. He pointed out the ways I could have easily been killed despite my Horcruxes. He demonstrated I have massive blind spots, and relying on myself to see all of those blind spots is beyond hopeless, given that I still had so much blindness even after ten years of solitude, with nothing better to do than search for my own errors. That is why I am here right now.

He had known all this on a subconscious, and indeed a mostly-conscious level. And in this moment he was more aware of it than ever, having seen the problem so blatantly in Starlight. But all of that didn't feel like a complete thought. It was not a goal, nor a solution. It was not a strategy, nor an idea. It was only a criticism. And his vast experience has led him to conclude time and time again that it is easy to criticize, but endlessly difficult to make true and lasting improvement. It is simple to adopt a lofty ambition, but nigh impossible to achieve it.

"Okay, Princess," said Starlight Glimmer, her voice still dejected, and even deader than before. "What… what can I even do, then?"

"First, you can learn to feel again, you can remember the emotions you have suppressed for so long with false faces. Because there is never much that anypony can do in a single day, even when they are doing the right things. At best, one insight I have provided today might sink in. Once you have more self-knowledge about your emotions, then you can start seeing your own past errors one little mistake at a time. As for end goals, until you can morally criticize your past actions and mean it, to the satisfaction of someone who can cast this," she tilted her head at her Patronus, "you can hardly hope to cast it yourself."

Until he can morally criticize his past actions to the satisfaction of one who can cast the true Patronus charm (preferably Luna), and mean it, he can hardly hope to cast the true Patronus himself. To get there, gain more self-knowledge about his emotions.

A part of him was tempted to think 'I have supreme self-knowledge as it stands. I know my motivations, and the motivations of others, as competently as any cynic who ever lived.' But that part of him was outweighed by the objective observer who pointed out that he apparently lacks the requisite amount of emotional competence that would allow him to cast the Patronus at will.

So instead of any self-flattering thoughts, there was only one mental impulse in response to Luna's claim:

Understood.

Comments

[keybounce]

And imagine that your passions like flames.

Minor grammar.

This really has the feel of "now my rehabilitation begins, now I have a roadmap to what I need to do".
Good.

[Poparakelis]

That was short, enjoyed it nonetheless.

[mishun]

Luna explained. "A redeemed pony, when asked what they did wrong, or why it was wrong, would not draw a blank. A redeemed pony would speak of principles, not of perceptions. They would talk about the negative impacts of their past deeds, not the way their past deeds were negatively perceived. They would be able to go into excruciating detail about their wrongdoings, why they were wrong, how they justified the wrongness to themselves, what they have done to address those bad mental habits. They would also quantify the damage they did to others and provide restitution of their own volition, without outside pressure forcing them to do it."

So, put simply, says what other guy (especially in position of power) wants to hear. Man, lying well is hard. Fills you with appreciation for folks running long cons

[Fireeaters]

neat

[Booster Spice]

The biggest problem comes from telling someone what theyre doing is wrong, even with explanations, if their understanding to the results of that behaviour is like telling them theyre switching the wrong light on, when not only are they totally blind, but the light is the other side of the building where they never go?

Id use myself as a demonstrativive example, but so many people, that hate the idea of disabilities, really hate what I stand for.

And there goes the warning klaxon about exceeeding limits and I have to apply so much wasted processing trying to force not just my limitations, but theirs also, something vastly more difficult. And then I suffer an allergic reaction, lose the train of thought and Ghandi is happy again.

[Roger44477]

11816484
My root critique there was the absolute disregard for even the most basic common courtesy between artists.
This is the kind of thing you do with permission and an understanding with the other artist, which you very obviously did not have.

My previous comment was for the sake of any future readers, since I had at that point found my own solution of just not reading your comments from past a chapter's upload date. The only ones you harm by undoing the basic effort you already put into addressing it is them, but whatever.

[The Guy Who Writes]

11816546
And the dickishness continues. (1) Multiple readers enjoyed that chapter, and were in tears over it. This story would be worse off without the inclusion, and any fans of this story who had NOT yet seen that video are (I would guess) appreciative of the fact that I introduced them to it, just as many readers have told me they are appreciative of the fact that this story introduced them to HPMoR. (2) This is a fanfiction website, where, among other things, sometimes the entire PREMISE of a story is that the author didn't like a certain aspect of the canon material, or they thought it was worth changing, or they thought it would be interesting to change it / include it, so they wrote a whole story surrounding it. It's rarely the case that a reader's interpretation or extrapolation upon somebody else's story will exactly or even closely align with the original author's vision, or with the feelings of ALL fans of that original vision. Just look at all the blood-and-guts R rated violent MLP fanfiction out there.

Calling what I did with that YT video in the chapter as 'disregarding' the author who made it is like calling any and all fanfiction the result of people 'disregarding' the creator(s) who produced the canon material, unless they pull a Weird Al and ALWAYS get permission to parody first. But basically nobody does that. Another alias of mine is "A Hobbyist", and check out the comments section of THIS video to see my exact opinion on this topic. I have a back and forth with a YT video creator who basically has the same opinion as yours. You might find it, and the final reply comment in the thread thus far, interesting,

[Hidden167]

Ah I just found this a week ago, and I've now caught up. For some reason I thought it was already finished when I began. Thanks for writing this, it's excellent.