Harry Potter and the Prancing of Ponies

by The Guy Who Writes

Chapter 76: The Color of the Sky

Later and earlier, in a different Astral Plane.

"You are doing well to notice the impulse in the first place and bravely speak it aloud, Mr. Malfoy," said a voice coming from the viewing window. The window turned to face a carefully balanced man nearby. "Lucius, what is your mind doing with that particular manifestation of human beings becoming skilled in the art of physical grace?"

The man hesitated, then gave a dramatic sigh. "The point is taken, Lord Monroe."

"In this narrow application, I suspect that it is. As a general mindset, I suspect that it isn't. Your suspicion is right that not all muggle sports are so respectable as art forms, but neither are all wizarding sports. You know my opinion on modern Quidditch, after all. Do with that information what you will." Then, speaking in a quite clear and loud voice, "Two more minutes!"

Then, back to Lucius again, "The art of music and the voice is also something muggles have extensively studied and practiced. Like chess, it's one of those areas where wizards no longer see dominance when it comes to the best of the best. Remind me to introduce you to what wealthy muggle aristocrats consider to be good music. I'll curate a selection you might find pleasant."

The memory paused.

"I think you are pushing too hard with Lucius," said Luna's voice.

"…You truly think so?" asked Riddle. "I thought I was being fairly gentle."

Luna's eyebrows were furrowed, the sign of thinking about how to best deliver her wisdom. Then she spoke. "He interprets everything you say as an order. He sees you as his master and himself as your slave. Those mental habits won't go away anytime soon, especially if you are constantly seeming to expect things out of him. All of which is to say that he is not operating under his own free will, which means your words are not having the effect on him that you truly desire. He does not want to like muggles and does not like being forced to act like he does and does not want to change."

"Hm… well, I already knew that, but if my approach is wrong, what's step one to changing him?"

"Step one is NOT regarding him as something that must be 'changed'. First you must understand- actually, wait, why don't you tell me your first impulse? That should make things more obvious. How would you try to 'change' this mindset in Lucius?"

"The direct approach. I would tell him that I and my acquaintances are touring a muggle location at some future date. I would then order him to follow his own free will and not my orders, or what he thinks are my orders, or what he thinks I want him to do, even if I do in fact want him to do it. If the sum of his own free will says to not attend, he is ordered to not attend. If his own free will says to attend, he is ordered to do that. If his own free will says to consult his friends or family before making a decision, he is ordered to consult them. Then, after he makes his decision, I would order him to explain his reasoning, explain the various willful impulses he felt, perhaps have him write them down on paper. I would then point out the ones that I do not think are truly the result of his own free will, but instead my will."

Luna took a deep breath, and sighed. "Yes, that is exactly your style. The style that still needs work, Mr. Taskmaster," she said, using the name that the reserves use. "As a general remark, orders and free will do not go hoof-in-hoof," she reminded him. "On average."

"…Right." How easy it is to forget that sometimes, even after trying to learn it for so long. "What would you do in my position, then?"

"What I would do in your position is I would stop expecting things from him. Presenting him with opportunities is fine, but I would allow him to grasp at them or ignore them absent any expectations on my end. If he grasps at nothing I offer, I would try to find opportunities that are more to his liking. I would expand his horizons in gentle ways that he appreciates at every step along the way. If I were going to order him to do anything, I would order him to learn the Patronus. That spell does help to manifest the positive part of a being's free will, which is what you're trying to accomplish with Lucius in the first place."

The thestral's lips were pressed thin. "I had been hesitant to give any orders at all, even that one. But if, as you say, he is interpreting my words as orders anyway, you're right that I should give that one deliberately. But how would I ensure he actually…? No, that is also obvious. I shall offer his son an extra credit assignment with a reward of a hundred Monroe points if he can successfully manage to teach his father how to cast it. The Patronus is quite exclusively meant to Defend against the Dark Arts," the Defense Professor observed. "And teaching is a means of cementing one's own knowledge. I could do that without recrimination, though the political implications might get tricky if word gets out. But Lucius would know that, and anticipate the fallout without any input on my end." He considered it further. "Better yet, I could simply announce that one hundred points is a standard reward going forward for any student who successfully teaches a fully corporeal Patronus to their reluctant parents. And I could offer the same reward for students who teach the Killing Curse. Mr. Malfoy can then quietly carry out the task and collect the reward at a later date."

"You are digressing and distracting."

"…I am."

Luna nodded. "So just to be clear, your intended path is to say to Lucius that from now on, he might occasionally be ordered to grow in magical power. He might be ordered to attend Circus daily to maintain and refine his fighting abilities. But that is all he is truly ordered to do?"

"On a weekly basis, yes."

"You are morally content with giving those orders?"

"Yes, because those orders do align with his true free will. He is appreciative of them immediately after the fact. He wishes I could improve his magical potential more than I currently do. Perhaps I should offer to further his training in the esoteric arts, but only as a reward for learning the Patronus."

"A good thought. But remember the important part: everything else you say to him truly is optional. Emphasize the optional part. Emphasize it in your own mind, not just to Lucius. Be happy if he says 'no' to one of those optional things. Because him saying 'no' is him expressing his free will. And it is an opportunity for you to challenge yourself to come up with a better idea from his perspective. Remember: true empathy. Allow him to expand his own horizons until he volunteers for a muggle vacation day."

Riddle nodded and sighed. "Thirty-five years," he said in a self-cynical voice, "and I still need you to hold my hoof like this."

"You have spent your last thirty-five years in modern Equestria, my good prince," she said in a tone of friendly prodding. "As the young colts like to say, you were learning how to play the game of voluntary relationships on 'easy mode'. And with little historical baggage dragging you down. Thanks to my sister's efforts, which were thanks to my mentor's efforts, ponies are rather good about developing their own free wills in foalhood, and they are good at listening somewhat carefully to their own free wills in adulthood. Had we decided to take up residence in the Crystal Empire like Cadence did, surrounded by a Time-lost pony population of a bygone era, we would have been having this conversation much earlier, I think. Now, was there anything else you wanted to examine before we see if the plane has anything big for you?"

"Yes. One of my past plots is bugging me, and I cannot understand why." He pulled up an image of the Robert(a) Jugson affair. "I feel as though I was mostly in the clear this entire time," Riddle said honestly, without defensiveness. "He initiated the game of competition between Slytherins by trying to assassinate me. I responded as a competent and mature older Slytherin is meant to respond, I think. And yet there is something about this that's bugging me."

"Where are you most bugged?"

"My interactions in the hospital, in my guise of Excelsior."

"Play that full memory."

He did, frowning the while.

Eventually, Luna asked, "Was it necessary for you to call Robert his father's 'daughter' when you knew very well Robert would hate that, and when Excelsior would have no reason to be ignorant about Robert's true sex?"

Riddle's Patronus wavered slightly, then firmed up again. "Ah. I was half-tempted just now to ask if you know what he has called certain others. And that half-temptation has made the issue clear. I think that nails the problem down quite exactly, thank you."

Luna nodded. "At your stage, it is often the vicarious anger which gets you. It's a given that Robert is a massive hypocrite who gladly spews all kinds of cutting venom and dislikes it when venom is successfully spewed back at him is. But he has not called you anything to your face, and if he now does, if he develops a grudge against Excelsior, you must accept a bit of the blame yourself, for drawing first blood. You invited it upon yourself by treating him in a way he did not treat you first."

"To be clear, you are referring exclusively to the mudslinging, not the poison joke punishment?"

"Yes. In the game of Slytherins, you did the mature thing. You responded to his poisoning efforts in kind but not in severity. You did not maim him but you did impose karma. You abided by the goal of teaching a valuable and lasting lesson to refine and sharpen his ambitions. You used a method that was less recklessly stupid, yet no less effective- in fact far more effective than the method he tried against you. Your actions were stellar. Except for the name-calling. In that arena you did not retaliate, you aggressed. You did not react, you provoked. You threw the first stone. In an incredibly minor way, true, and yes others in Slytherin did it first, but you should have left it to them. At worst, give a clinical description of the Poison Joke's humor, say that Poison Joke often makes lingual jabs. Did it, in that case?"

Riddle blinked. "That would have been much more amusing, now that I think about it. I could have said to his father that it gave jugs to his son."

"Mmm-hm," said Luna. "But you didn't see that because you were angry and blind to your anger. That might have emotional implications further down the road if you do not address it. If the reasoning inside your true heart of hearts is that you are justified in aggressing against the enemies of those you care about…"

Riddle gave a grunt of acknowledgement. "I think I can handle my impulses from here. Again, thank you."

"My pleasure," Luna smiled gently. "Any other minor problems before the main event?"

He sighed and shook his head.

"Then let us see what your Astral Plane has for you today."

He activated the automatic ascension function of the Astral Plane, which does not go away even after you ascend.

He watched whatever memory came to the fore. Whatever memory the Astral Plane determined to be the 'next step'. Whatever memory would be most useful in the long run for him to watch right now, according to some unknown combination of Mirror fiat, his own current mood, and probably Time itself.

This time around: another private Horcrux murder. This would make number two-hundred and twenty one. (He is counting, now.) He and Luna watched in silence for a while.

Eventually Luna stood. "Let me know if you need help on anything specific. I must go raise the moon and attend to my duties."

Then he was left alone with his memories.

He took notes as he watched, in a journal that contained notes for all the other private murders. As usual, his Patronus was active, and if it went out he would pause until he managed to recast it.

If he could manage a recast.

Normally he would stop after four (Time Turned) hours. Or he would stop after thirty straight minutes of being unable to re-cast the spell if it went out, at which point he would leave to do something distracting while his hind brain mulled it over.

It had taken a while to get up to an average of four hours. Even recently, there have been times when he had to leave early for being unable to maintain or recast his Patronus.

He often invited other alicorns to watch with him. It's unwise to always or even often do this alone. Without proper purpose when examining the past, without solid grounding in the reality of the present, without good guidance of a healthy vision for the future, dwelling in history can cause one to get lost in it.

The presence of others would change the kinds of memories the ascendency program promoted to attention, but it would also help him stay sane. Only Luna's presence didn't seem to have too much of an effect on what the program promoted to attention, compared to watching in seclusion.

He has even brought a certain intelligent and ever-curious alicorn here on more than a few occasions. The Plane would often show memories of the armies, and in particular General Chaos's training regiments. Seemingly for her benefit, though he often got a few insights out of them himself.

No matter who was here with him, the Astral Plane's Ascendency function had a tendency to repeat the same memory over and over, narrowing in on certain parts, until he came to a certain conclusion, a certain insight. He could never guess what that conclusion was in advance. But that conclusion would often strengthen his Patronus, if only slightly.

As for the Astral Plane function that causes an Alicorn to re-feel the emotions they felt the first time around, he left it up to the ascendency program whether to flip that function's switch to the 'on' position. It usually did.

If he called Luna back and asked her to do so – though he no longer quite needed her to do it anymore – Luna would name each subtle emotion he felt at any given moment. On the rare moments where Luna had not been sufficient, he had invited Thorax. The Changeling King of many years had been able to name those emotions exactly, where even Luna failed.

The memory he's watching right now, this particular memory of murder, seems to be suffused almost entirely by indifference. He did it because he could. He did it because it was useful to have another Horcrux. Because nobody would connect him to the murder. Because the victim was unimportant to his local society or the world. Because the victim was a layabout man in his forties with few acquaintances. No friends, no extended family, and dead parents. (As Legilimency had informed him at the time.)

These are the hardest kinds to deal with, lately. No obvious 'that's schadenfreude, that's annoyance, that's sadism' emotions to point to. It was all extremely subtle. It was almost entirely nothingness that he was feeling, after so many murders relying on that exact mindset.

But some of the negative emotions were there, if he listened carefully enough, and quieted his busy mind so he could pay close attention. The ever so slight rush of sadistic joy that he has the power to do this and get away with it, the ever so slight satisfaction that a blight on society was no longer there, the ever so slight relief and assurance and pleasure that his immortality is stronger.

It was not easy to examine one's emotions with a microscope, nor was it quick, nor was he anywhere close to where Mr. Potter probably thought he was, in terms of redemption.

The plan had not been for Riddle to leave the Time-frozen trap so soon. Not until he could consistently maintain his Patronus in the face of his past. Or if it winked out, not until he could always recast it with less than a minute of downtime.

But here he is anyway, back in the Time-resumed present and nowhere near that strong. It had been a combination of a certain somepony reaching a certain age and wanting to go to a certain place, and Dumbledore deciding that Tom was ready, even if his Patronus was not nearly as strong or steady as perhaps it should be.

On most days, he still uses four Time-twisted hours to work through his past. But Riddle is no longer protected from the present. Even as he reflects, he must start moving forward, now that he finally knows how to walk without leaving the world a worse place after every step. Probably. And if he does misstep, he has ponies and people who can guide him right again.

The final memory he was shown that night was this interaction:

"Professor, I have to ask, when you see something all dark and gloomy, doesn't it ever occur to you to try and improve it somehow? Like, yes, something goes terribly wrong in people's heads that makes them think it's great to torture criminals, but that doesn't mean they're truly evil inside; and maybe if you taught them the right things, showed them what they were doing wrong, you could change -"

He heard the laughing voice of Quirinus Quirrell's voice. "Ah, Mr. Potter, sometimes I do forget how very young you are. Sooner you could change the color of the sky."

The Plane then repeated 'sooner you could change the color of the sky' a few times, to draw his attention to it.

He did not manage to figure out what the ascendency program wanted him to realize before he had to leave early, even after thinking about it for a good thirty minutes in what he had thought were appropriately self-aware and Patronus-happy lines of reasoning.

(At his next session, his ascendency program would simply reveal the answer: A sonic rainboom, performed by himself, watched at a distance by another Time-Turned self.

As he watched so many colors fly across the horizon, he laughed in comprehension. His plane was pointing out to him that he could, in fact, change the color of the sky.)

Comments

[carlarc]

So I was talking with one of my several friends I've convinced to read HPaPP, and he casually dropped (HUGE potential spoilers) 'the pony who is clearly Voldemort's daughter'. My jaw dropped at that and my WHAT!? was worthy of the Royal Canterlot Voice.

> It had been a combination of a certain somepony reaching a certain age and wanting to go to a certain place, and Dumbledore deciding that Tom was ready, even if his Patronus was not nearly as strong or steady as perhaps it should be.

This is interesting, and adds weight towards his assumption/theory. Oh god did he marry Twilight
I wonder why Dumbledore said 'good enough!' and broke the trap early. It's both very characteristic of him and very much not at all. Kinda funny how the mini-session between L&T was basically him thinking up a better gotcha, with a touch of therapy.

BTW, said friend says that the writing is superb, that this is 'the second most HPMOR thing I've ever read', and that it blows Significant Digits completely out of the water. I agree on most of those points, though I haven't read SigDig because what I know of it turned me away.

[Fireeaters]

I wonder who the person getting older was. Perhaps the exchange student girl is some sort of chosen one

[TheGreatFox]

11770191
11770302
We figured out a bunch of chapters ago that she's Autumn Query, the daughter (adopted or otherwise) of Riddle + Luna, with a Harry-like personality to match and one of the signers of Riddle's secret-keeping contract, all the way back in February: 11517263 11499053 .
And while looking through comments to find that, also came across this: 11617385 . I did miss the obvious answer that Riddle just wasn't able to cast the patronus at will yet, but I did call Autumn Query being of the age to go to Hogwarts being a major reason for Riddle leaving Equestria.

[Fireeaters]

11770335
Just because you think she's riddle's adopted kid, doesn't mean anything's been "figured out". I don't see any evidence towards that

[Booster Spice]

If riddle contemplated the Impossible, and his own contemplation and resaonng of such, then observing various philosophical treatise and mathematical derivations, would that allow him to reconsider the truely impossible by definitions as they are understood, and that which has changed over time and with knowledge?

Had Riddle ever considered The Dark side Of The Sun?

[Fireeaters]

Maybe she's related to one of the mane 6, or something, or a student from the pony school. I don't remember anything in the story pointing to some previous personal relationship with riddle

[carlarc]

11770335
Good job on catching it early then.
On the one hand, Querry being a natural birth from two alicorns would easily explain why she's an alicorn. It would also explain why she didn't actually talk about how natural Alicorns happen to Harry. He would inmediately figure it out and freak out.
On the other, the notion of Tom Riddle having sex with a pony is a spectacularly disturbing thing to consider. It's likely that if it's a natural birth they used some handwave magic for that specific part of the process, though.

[Poparakelis]

As he watched so many colors fly across the horizon, he laughed in comprehension. His plane was pointing out to him that he could, in fact, change the color of the sky.)

I'm smiling

[keybounce]

That Autumn was *raised by* Excelsior is pretty obvious. She has far too much of his training.

Whether she is his daughter -- natural born or adopted -- is something else.

Hmm. A personal prodigy student / training? If she isn't his child, just somepony he has mentored, then who would her parents be?

[carlarc]

Um. It's been a bit. Are you OK, author?

[The Guy Who Writes]

11784996
I'm fine. Just hit an unexpected roadblock with the story.

[carlarc]

Ah, okay, that's good to hear. Take your time. Best a steady and polished plan than a rushed and messy one. Is it anything people here can help with?

A thought: If your mental block persists, write some filler? Make it obvious with author notes if you want. Stuff from the perspective of ponies changed by the trio's revolutions, the perspectives of the Death Eaters that Riddle threw into a redemption camp (especially Bella). That could keep your writing muscle exercised and maybe even end up helping you with your writer's block.

[The Guy Who Writes]

11788200
Filler would only contribute to the problem. My problem is that I'm NOT addressing the important things, I'm getting distracted, I'm constantly avoiding the painful thought of the roadblock. So while I appreciate the desire to offer help, I'm going to continue addressing it like I have been: by unambiguously distracting myself with IRL stuff, engaging in addictions that I recognize as such, then eventually and finally getting sick of doing that, slowly getting out of my relapse. Slowly but surely un-relapsing by starting with NOT AVOIDING THE CRAP ANY LONGER.

Doing filler would be like convincing myself I'm making progress when I'm actually not. Also, you're just saying that b/c you want more story. Also also, I hate it when anime does filler, which is why I only ever read manga these days, or watch anime content that I know for a fact is NOT filler. And I'd rather strongly prefer NOT to produce what I hate.