• Published 28th Mar 2021
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Harry Potter and the Prancing of Ponies - The Guy Who Writes



Dumbledore doesn't reverse the trap he laid on the Mirror in time. The Mirror traps Harry and Voldemort outside of Time... and inside the MLP universe. MLPxHPMoR Crossover.

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Rehabilitation 10.6: Property Rights vs. Property Reichs

Author's Note:

The final chapter of broccoli. There will be a highly bitter pill to swallow some chapters later, and then it's full steam ahead on the plot from there out.

"You know…" said Riddle in a thoughtful voice after her declaration had hung in the air for a time. "Hearing you speak… saying nothing about whether I agree… it almost reminds me of Merlin."

"Merlin?" echoed Luna. "What is that?"

"The greatest wizard of all time. That history records," Riddle addended.

There may have been even greater Atlanteans… or there may not have been, for their society left behind but one known artifact.

Merlin passed down his wisdom, his Halls, his Line, and his Interdict, all of which remain to this day. And unlike the Atlanteans working on the Mirror, Merlin did his work alone, and his legacies are elegantly simple and idiot-proof.

"What did he do?" asked Luna.

Riddle could have answered that in many ways, but since they were talking about free will anyway…

"He wished for witches and wizards who were being pushed about by the whims of fate to at least know the stories of their prophetic enslavements. Thus he erected the Hall of Prophecy, which recorded all seer speech within our country's borders. A gift to their free will, he called it, even as he hated Time for repudiating free will in such a blatant fashion."

He paused to gauge Luna's reaction, but she was simply listening patiently. "That sounds impressive," she offered when she noticed his pause. "Very impressive, and very considerate to his fellow wizards. But in point of fact, I know a being who once did something similar for Equestria. Has 'Merlin' done anything else on that scale?"

"He did something even greater," Riddle said reverently. "Despite everything he believed, Merlin imposed an Interdict – a restriction on the very nature of magic itself, and thus a restriction on the free wills of all future wizards: that the knowledge of powerful magics may only be transferred by word of mouth, from one living mind to another. In order to impose it, Merlin sacrificed his life, his magic, and possibly even his remaining Time, but some scholars joke that he croaked of sheer hypocrisy. Today it is widely recognized that the world would have ended at least thrice over if not for his Interdict, so it is widely theorized that a prophecy told Merlin of the world's destruction, and in the end, Merlin violated his most sacredly held values to save it. Although it was not too egregious a violation. It is widely agreed that any other wizard in his place would have forbidden a wider range of actions, to the detriment of everyone. Your remarks on how morality should restrict free will as little as possible are similar to that particular aspect of the legend. If not for Merlin's healthy respect for free will, we would all be worse off. Wizards are still free to pass down their powerful knowledge to their apprentices, just not stupidly."

"I can see why he was the greatest wizard of all time," Luna said. "If only his second favorite concept was universality," she sighed wistfully.

Riddle's eyebrows rose in surprise. "It was, actually. The Interdict of Merlin applies universally, to all wizards, all magic, and all Time. He sought to understand as many universal truths as possible. His favourite artifact was a Mirror that treats everyone with the same universal ruleset. He made a hobby of mathematics and hard logic. If you could simplify his philosophy to two concepts, they would be universality and free will. He once described the Unbreakable Vow as the single darkest ritual in existence, especially when imposed upon those who do not consent."

"I think you have sold me on him." Luna smiled a wide and genuine smile. "Based on what you have told me, he might just be my favorite human wizard. No offense."

"None taken," Riddle shrugged. "He's my favourite too."

Even more than Slytherin, for Riddle proved Salazar's folly by slaying his beast, among other things, while Merlin's wisdom has yet to be proven wrong. The only point against Merlin, in Riddle's eyes, is the suicide, but even that can be viewed in the light of Mr. Potter's suggestion on how wizards on their deathbeds should bind Unbreakable Vows to leave an inheritance for their children. Merlin was old anyway, and not immortal. That he left a legacy of unmatchable value with his inevitable death was a sensible act, under the circumstances.

"Have wizards inherited Merlin's morals?" Luna asked. "Do they also consider the Vow unspeakably dark?"

Riddle scoffed. "Everybody reveres Merlin, but nobody holds themselves to his standards. Most wizards are closer to your sister. They, like she, regard the Vow as one of the least dark rituals in existence, to the point where it's legal in every magical country I know about."

"Disappointing," sighed Luna. "If a bit predictable."

"You didn't object when I proposed my own Vow," he pointed out. "Or when I carried it out."

"Because you freely chose to restrict your own free will, as did Sliver and Memory. I suspect the Vow will see much use in helping repentant addicts overcome their addictions. I do not object when a pony willingly restricts his own free will. I would object if others forced the same restriction without prior consent or truly dire need."

"What about criminals?" he asked. "You seem to have little sympathy in restricting their wills. With prison bars if not Vows."

She shrugged. "That has the potential to fall into the 'dire need' category. The moment you deliberately violate the free will of another, you forfeit the right to complain when your free will is violated. On a level commensurate with your initial violation, of course, and done for the purpose of restoring that which you have destroyed or taken, or done for the purpose of preventing future violations. That is the core tenet of universal morality as applied to legal consequences. If it is in the form of property repossession, or imprisonment and rehabilitation for bodily crimes, or even a Vow in the worst cases, I will not shed a tear. Theft, rape, assault, and murder always infringe on the free wills of others, regardless of circumstance, which is why forbidding those four, or variants of them, is the only hard set of moral rules I have."

"How is petty theft a violation of someone's free will?"

Her tone grew rhetorical. "Has anypony ever willed their own property to be stolen from them?"

"I can think of a plot where I did." And muggle insurance fraud works that way too.

"Then it wasn't theft," Luna said simply. "Theft is when you do not want your property to be repossessed – your wand, let us say – and if someone steals it, they have violated your right to freely do what you will with your own property. Property rights are the essence of free will. Modern ponies say 'your property, your choice'. Catchy, isn't it?"

"The 'catchiness' must be lost in translation," he said in deadpan. "And how is property the essence of free will? Shouldn't the core of free will be the concept of choice?"

"Hmm… yes and no. The ability to choose is merely synonymous with free will, two phrases meaning mostly the same thing. Property rights are more like… an entirely different way of looking at the same concept. Free Will is the abstract model, while property rights are real and actionable, like the difference between a painting of an apple and the actual apple."

"Would you mind explaining that?"

Luna spoke like a professor giving a lecture. "Legally speaking, property rights and free will are one and the same," she claimed. "It is the foundation of modern Equestrian ethics, the earliest written laws that still last to this day. Your property, your choice. And it works. Simply look to history, to other countries. Without property rights, you see little prosperity."

Riddle didn't argue the prosperity point. He didn't know Equestrian history in that sense, but he knew human history.

The ancient Romans were the first (known) civilization to enshrine property rights firmly, explicitly, and carefully into law, with close attention to detail. Theirs was the most advanced muggle and magical society of the ancient world, and they left a lasting impact on future lawmakers, their influence still plainly visible in the names of months, planets, spells, and, yes, legal statutes.

Modern societies, muggle and magical, also pay respect to property. Well, some modern societies pay some respect to the concept of property.

The Soviet Union was one of the biggest 'let's try something else' experiments in recent history, and it collapsed. Mao's China didn't fare much better.

As far as he could tell from roaming both "East" and "West" at a time in history when their respective political philosophies were in full-swing, the primary difference between the two was the quality of life, which drastically derailed as 'rights' were disregarded, including but not limited to property rights. Roaming village after village of pale, gaunt muggles whose minds were wracked by constant paranoia had a way of being memorable even to him. Texas never had that problem, nor the boondocks of muggle Britain, while the Soviet Union certainly did. So did Hitler's Germany, if you knew where to look; he had been too young at the time to confirm it personally, but even the most ignorant muggles know that story. Fascism, like socialism, laughed at the concept of individual rights. 'Nothing outside the state', as Mussolini famously said, does not leave room for property ownership in the long run, and... he had to admit those regimes, ultimately, didn't last either.

So he didn't argue against Luna's claim of 'no property rights, no prosperity' on factual grounds. But thinking of communism did remind him of a different sort of counter argument. He considered keeping quiet, since he certainly didn't agree with it, but he overcame his distaste in a desire to see how she would handle it.

"Do you consider property to be more valuable than life?" The indignant, accusatory tone that typically accompanied the rhetorical question was not in his voice. He had trouble enough asking it with a straight face. He did at least manage to finish the standard example. "What if I need to steal to save a dying or starving family member?"

"Ah," said Luna, raising a halting hoof. "You will not fool me with trick questions, my fool. Life cannot and should not be divorced from property. Your life is your property. My life is mine. The tangible effects of our labor are also our property, so long as we have not been otherwise contracted, and we have not violated the property of others along the way. When you engage in theft, for whatever reason, you are often stealing past labor, not just property, and appropriation of another's labor against their will is, by definition, slavery. If a griffon spends an hour to catch a fish, and you steal the fish, you have retroactively enslaved that griffon for an hour. If a pony works for ten bits an hour and you steal eighty bits' worth of property from them, you have enslaved them for a day of work. When you deprive somepony of their property, you are also depriving them of the life they spent obtaining that property. You might be depriving them of life itself, depending on what property you take, and how much. A dying family member, as tragic as that is, does not justify the forced servitude of others."

He had never heard it put that way. "Calling theft slavery seems a bit overdramatic, no?"

"No," she said. "It is either true or false. 'Overdramatic' is an insult, not an argument. Either bring a counterargument, or cease being foolish."

Riddle chuckled. "Very well. What about inherited property? You would not be 'enslaving' the work of a pony who inherits property."

"It is less evil to rob the dead than the living, but it is still wrong, my fool. To steal inherited property is to retroactively enslave the ancestor it was inherited from. If a parent passes down the home they built to their foal, you taking it for any reason, even to save a dying family member, would steal years of somepony else's work while also rendering their loved ones homeless."

"What about stealing property that was itself initially stolen?"

"To restore property to its original state is not theft."

"And stolen property that was passed down through generations?" he elaborated. "Or otherwise long separated from the initial moment it was stolen? Doesn't your statute of limitations-" which ponies do have "-interfere with that?"

"If they stole it from you and passed it down to their grandchildren, it is still yours; to take it back is not theft. If their ancestors stole it from your ancestors, the same concept applies, though you must be able to prove it in a court of law, which generally speaking becomes harder to do as time passes- eye witnesses grow forgetful, hard evidence is lost, and trials become longer and more expensive, to the point where the cost of prosecution exceeds the cost of the property itself. It is for this reason- practical necessity, not moral obligation- that the statute of limitations exists."

"And why the exact cut-off date of fifty years?"

"Why is the age of consent eighteen?" Luna countered. "And not, say, seventeen years and three-hundred, sixty-four days, twenty-three hours, and fifty-nine minutes? What difference does one minute make?"

"An excellent question."

She shook her head. "A deliberately annoying question, and not the kind that a good fool would ask. There has to be a cut-off date, and so that date is bound to be arbitrary. When it comes to the statute of limitations, my sister's vast experience in arbitration has led her to choose that date, with exceptions made for cases of significantly hard and undeniable evidence. But we are straying from the issue of property rights. Have I satisfied your questions about inheritance?"

"Not quite. What about excess wealth? Most inheritance is not necessary to survival."

Luna sighed and shook her head. "That does not address anything I have said so far. It is irrelevant to you if someone else's property is not necessary for their survival. Besides, who are you to define what qualifies as 'excess' or 'necessary'? For that matter, who am I?"

"The ruler of a nation," he said. Obviously.

"No," she said firmly. "I am a leader of Equestria, not a ruler."

"You say that as if there's a difference."

One thing that 'socialism' had in common with 'democracy' and 'capitalism' and 'monarchy' and 'fascism' and every other version and style of government was that they were all blatant oligarchies from start to finish. 'Equality' was and shall always be a lie; there will always be those who are better than others, in every field of competence known to man, including statesmanship and resource accumulation and power acquisition. There will always be a small cabal of elites making the important decisions.

"There is absolutely a difference between leaders and rulers," said Luna. "And if I were to declare what constitutes 'excess' property ownership, that would be the height of vanity, for it is an entirely subjective question. Besides, if I did have that principle, my sister and I would be parting with more funds than anypony else, given our own 'excesses'."

"Not if you exempted yourselves from the law," he observed. Like all kings and queens do. The royal family of muggle Britain is exempt from inheritance tax, among other things, because of course they are.

"Hypocrisy is the death of morality," said the Princess of Equestria. "Once again, you are describing rulership, not leadership."

"The difference being?"

"The difference, my fool, is that leaders do not exempt themselves from the rules. True leadership is done by example, and you cannot show how to follow rules by exempting yourself from them."

"Hm," he grunted noncommittally.

Luna studied his expression. "Did you have any other objections to property rights?"

"A few. I will remark that I am only playing devil's advocate. In general, I'm in agreement with property rights as a useful mode of governance. When the state seizes hoarded wealth, it disincentivizes frugality, productiveness, and the ability to delay gratification, and I have seen that sorry state of affairs first-hoof."

"That is an argument from effect, from consequences, not from morality. While completely true, it is not the reason we do not allow theft in Equestria."

"In that case, how does your system address the personality problems associated with inherited wealth?" Like Chrysalis and Blueblood. "That is a moral issue, no?"

"When wealth leads to arrogance, the blame lies with the parents, as do most personality problems. When you pass down your property to your foals, it is your responsibility to also pass down the values that enabled you to obtain and maintain that property."

As Chrysalis's parents must not have done, Riddle thought. And as Lucius did do. "Do most ponies agree with this?"

"Of course. Spare your guidance, spoil your foal, as the saying goes."

"That's similar to a religious saying I know," he observed. "Spare the rod, spoil the child."

Luna's voice grew chill. "The rod? What, pray tell, is that?"

"In the original metaphor," he said with a dry smile, "it refers to a shepherd's rod."

"Shepherd?"

"One who keeps and raises sheep, for the sake of harvesting their wool, and eventually their meat. The rod was a tool for beating away predators and directing the sheep. As your tone implies, you have already guessed that 'devout' families repeat this phrase as justification... no, as validation and encouragement for violence against the least among them. Most are unaware of the phrase's obvious reference to shepherdry, despite that symbolism's prevalence throughout the base religion."

"And if most humans were aware of that metaphor," said Luna, her voice still chill, "is it the case that shepherds use the rod to beat their own sheep?"

"Probably not," he said with a shrug. "It would make the sheep more agitated in situations where they must be swiftly herded. But I would not know for sure, as I've never raised sheep."

"And how common is that phrase?"

"About as common as can be."

"Then I think I might just declare that sentence to be one of the most harmful misinterpretations of ancient wisdom in all of human history. Sparing guidance spoils foals. Not sparing beatings."

Riddle shrugged again. "Perhaps. Getting back on topic... suppose the parents are indisposed to pass down their wisdom." Like his own had been. "Who bears responsibility for rotten offspring then?"

Luna seemed to want to discuss the rod further, but visibly dropped it. "That would depend on the reason they are gone," she answered, "and the nature of those who filled their roles afterwards. Tragedies do happen, but not in the overwhelming majority of cases. Even in the minority of cases it is often preventable. And in any case, regardless of parenting, when a wealthy heir makes poor decisions with his finances, it is not my right to force them to act otherwise. It is their free will to squander their bits, just as it was their parents' free will to allow that circumstance to arise."

"True," he allowed. "But all this still sounds like you value life over property."

She sighed. "Thus we come full circle to your original question. Once again, I do not consider life more valuable than property. I do not consider it less valuable. 'Tis like asking 'what is more valuable, gold or money?' The two are intertwined, inseparable. Attempts to separate them stem from vanity and result in disaster. That is all there is to it."

"And what does it mean practically? What 'ought' may be drawn from that 'is'?"

Luna smiled. "Practically speaking, life beyond a state of nature cannot exist without property, and in many ways life is property- property which we ought to do our utmost to respect and preserve. Do not murder, do not rape, do not assault, do not steal. Those are the only four instances of moral 'rules' in Equestria, the only instances that justify the use of force to prevent. Outside of consensual duels and such, force may only be used to prevent violations of property rights- especially your right to the property known as 'your body'. Phrased differently, we do our utmost to prevent violations of free will. Do you have any further advocation to do on evil's behalf about Equestrian property and free will?"

No further automatic rejoinders came to Riddle's mind, so he considered what he'd heard.

Life is property… no, life is free will… conceivable as property rights…

It was an interesting argument – spoken far better than Riddle himself could have said it because he doesn't speak 'moralizer'. As far as he could tell despite his lack of expertise in the field, she had managed to maintain the moral high ground in the face of an argument that typically strips it away. And she did so without compromising her own principles. She didn't concede a single inch of ground.

He was certain a true moralizer would sink to slimier arguments at this point.

The obvious 'you justified slavery because you called life property' came to mind, but that would have been obnoxious, especially with all the qualifiers she added to prevent such a stupid misinterpretation.

Instead, he decided to give one last counter, not from the communists this time, but from the opposite camp.

"What of taxation?" he asked. "Does that not constitute a violation of property rights? I have heard-" many a moron "-certain human thinkers refer to it as theft, given that it is not a consensual repossession of one's property."

"I would not be surprised if that claim was completely and utterly justified all across the human world," said Luna. "And it would have been justified here in Equestria for the longest time. It is still justified in, say, Griffonia. But my sister has done her diligent best to adjust taxes over the centuries. As the city's acting governor, she taxes only Canterlot citizens, and that money funds the maintenance of public places, services, and the guard. If a pony comes of age and they find Canterlot taxes not to their tastes, they are free to search the country for a tax system they like better. In order to reside in most cities, all adult ponies sign a tax contract along the lines of 'I agree to pay this city's taxes as long as I am its resident.'"

"And if, hypothetically, a pony chooses not to reside in any city, and commutes from the wilderness?" As portkeys might soon start to facilitate.

Luna gave him a knowing look. "Hypothetically, hmm? Well, as I have said, different cities have different tax systems. You could easily circumvent Canterlot taxes that way, as we tax per square foot of city floor space owned. You could evade Manehattan and Crystal Empire taxes that way too, but good luck avoiding the income taxes of Cloudsdale, or the sales taxes of Ponyville."

"Those don't sound like systems in which consensual contracts are signed," Riddle pointed out.

Luna nodded. "By choosing to be employed in Cloudsdale, you are choosing to have your income taxed. By choosing to buy products in Ponyville, you are choosing to have your purchases taxed. By choosing to live in Canterlot, you are choosing to have your property taxed. And of course, we try to make exceptions for those who cannot make such choices. The disabled, for example."

"Are government actors exempt from taxes?"

"No. My sister pays our taxes, for instance," Luna answered easily. "As I said, we are leaders, not rulers. And since the palace and its grounds take up more space than anypony else's property in Canterlot, she also pays the most in taxes."

"And that money is not deposited right back into the royal vaults?" he asked skeptically.

Luna looked scandalized. "Of course not! The city treasury and the royal vaults are two very distinct accounts. Nopony, especially not my sister, may freely withdraw city funds – it pays for set salaries and purposes, and while there is a tax surplus, it is meant for disaster relief. Otherwise it runs at net neutral."

"Supposing a disaster is in need of relieving-" like Discord and the Changelings "-who controls the funds if not your sister?"

"Adjustments to tax usage are voted on by a committee of the largest tax contributors, or their representatives, with votes weighted proportional to their contributions, though my sister does have final veto power as the city's governor and largest taxpayer, and it requires a significant majority to overturn her veto."

"So your sister may only freely use funds from the royal vaults, not the 'city treasury'?"

"Precisely."

Riddle noticed a potential source of hypocrisy... or perhaps privilege would say it better. "Do taxes pay for the palace staff and royal guard? I do not see other citizens with so many personal protectors and servants."

"Most of the royal guards here in the palace are funded privately, not publicly, as is the staff. There are some exceptions. Just as there are some rooms in the palace that are exempt from property taxes, like those devoted to foreign diplomacy. Much of this was voted on long ago. And when it comes to that which must not be publicly known, like those who guard the mirror, and the mirror room itself, my sister makes her decisions as if the public did know about it. She tries to err on the side of caution, which means she tends to pay out of royal pocket."

"In that case, how was that pocket filled in the first place? Hoarded wealth from the past?"

Luna shook her head. "My sister and her nobles are widely agreed to be the best dispute resolvers in the Equestria. Which isn't to say she is perfect, but her Day Court is a significant source of income, split among the nobles who help, of course. You have seen the prices to petition yourself. And my sister owns or co-owns a number of ventures across the country. Her school and the university do not seek profit, but the royal enchanters do, not to mention the gold mines. When she pays property tax on the palace, it is with money she has earned. Often in the form of return-on-investment."

"And you?" asked Riddle. "Do you likewise earn income?"

Luna sighed. "I... am afraid I must confess to being a 'useless eater' at the moment. My sister has tried to reassure me that without my proposed principles of property rights and foal protection – policies she diligently adopted as both apology and atonement after my banishment – Equestria would never have seen so much prosperity, and it is only thanks to that growth that the royal coffers are so full in the first place. She has also said that if the long-term benefits of dream-walking and trauma reduction could be measured in bits, it would easily match her own income. To say nothing of beautifying the night sky. But even still, I have grown less and less comfortable accepting her Generosity these last few years. Tia does not feel as though I am exploiting her, but I am beginning to feel that way."

"The fastest way to build resentment between two parties is exploitation..." Riddle said.

He was almost surprised at himself for remembering that piece of Night Court wisdom and completing the pattern so quickly. He'd known it in one direction, that the exploited resent their exploiters, but Luna made him aware of the reverse. After all, people who allow themselves to be exploited are stupid, and doesn't he himself resent stupidity? Thus, doesn't he resent those he exploits?

"Indeed," said Luna. "Which is why I am no longer spending much of her money. I do not wish to ever resent Tia again. Your own salary is the last major expense of mine, and I am trying to think of ways to pay for it myself. And also pay for my portion of the palace's property taxes. It would be simple if Night Court worked as it once did..." Luna sighed again. "But modern times require new ideas, and I think my own Court is best left free. Not that it could fund much of anything if I charged for it. I am still trying to think of a suitable-"

"You may stop paying my salary," he offered.

"I-" said Luna, surprised. "Truly? Why?"

"The aid you are offering to me is commensurate with what I am offering to you." Perhaps more than commensurate, but he wasn't sure just yet. "I have other sources of income. All legal, of course. And it's not like I have many expenses. But we can address that later. For now, I'd like to stay on topic. Do you honestly believe Equestria's various systems of taxation do not meet the technical definition of theft?"

Luna took a long moment to reply, perhaps to organize her thoughts after another derailment. "It... is still not quite where I'd like it to be... but my sister has helped Equestria come a long way nonetheless. For the most part, yes, I would say taxation in Equestria is not theft. It is not perfect, but it is about as explicitly consensual and fair as we can make it; furthermore, there is no corruption, no funds vanishing to unknown purposes, or known but hated purposes, like warmongering, and I expect it will only get better in the future. That is what happens when property rights are truly respected, and I am glad my sister has read up on my many treatises over these centuries. Or perhaps she came to the same conclusions herself. I haven't yet asked Tia how every last one of her perspectives evolved over the years."

"You wrote treatises?"

"On property rights, foal abuse, virtue, and a number of other things."

"Did you think of it all yourself?"

She shook her head. "I had a mentor. Long ago. Long dead by now, I imagine… though I should ask my sister what finally happened to him. It would be nice to visit his final resting place." She had a distant look in her eye. "In fact, I just remembered how he responded to my skepticism about virtue as the only path to happiness, long ago."

Her voice took on a strange, sarcastic, performative cadence. "Become a better person?" she gasped, as if in horror. "Develop virtue? Call out evil when I see it? Oh, no! Please! Oh, stars above, anything but that! Won't someone please give me a path to happiness that doesn't involve deep, difficult change! I'll do anything! Sell my soul, buy your miracle-cure, take shortcuts, commit murder, anything! Just don't say I have to be truly, deeply honest with the beings in my life, I'm begging you!" She was smiling fondly by this point, and Riddle was chuckling.

"There were many a charlatan back in that day," she pointed out. "Guaranteeing happiness with some lie or another. Drug dealers, all of them. Virtue is the only lasting cure to unhappiness… but I am repeating myself."

She cleared her throat. "Free will and property. Your property, your choice. Obviously your property includes your life, your mind, your voice, and your body. This is why I believe you may ignore your 'inner-phoenix'. So long as you are not taking or damaging or deliberately risking another's property in your antics, you should be free to choose what you do with yourself and your effects. That is how free will hinges on property. Which brings me to my final set of questions."

"I'd rather call it a day."

He had more than enough to review already. Morality as a relationship, virtue ethics, emergencies ethics, true apologies, states of nature and his fear of death, the 'black' rule, anger as the 'immune system of the soul', free will = property rights, free will in general…

"You have already given me much to think about."

He's going to write down as much as he can remember as soon as he leaves, and he's going to be extracting the memory as exactly as possible for later review in the Astral Plane. It's not often he is subjected to so much of what he refers to as 'Night Court advice' in a single session.

"You have asked much of me," Luna said. "I would like to ask three quick questions of you and then call it a day. You can answer each in a single word if you wish."

Three more questions… "Fair enough."

"Do you inherently respect the property rights of others?"

"…No," he answered honestly. It's the competent model for governance based on the evidence he's seen, and he can personally bring himself to do it, but it's not an inherent respect in most cases.

"A typical result of growing up in a state of nature," she remarked. "Now, how would you feel if your own important property was permanently removed from your possession by another? The Stone, for instance."

"Annoyed," he answered, again honestly. "Possibly outraged, depending on the property, and if it was merely taken or if it was outright destroyed."

"A typical result of being sapient," she nodded. "Which is why sapience abhors nature – it produces the hypocrisy you have just displayed. You do not inherently respect the property rights of others, and yet you would be outraged if your own property was not respected. Remember that you are not to blame; ponies become hypocrites when they are surrounded by hypocrites growing up, the same as becoming evil. But at the end of the day, and this is my last question: Do you want to be a hypocrite?"

Four years ago, he might have said he tried to avoid it for the sake of logical consistency, but he also might have said that he ultimately didn't care if he was somehow proven a hypocrite, given how little others seem to care about their blatant hypocrisies. Like Dumbledore.

Now…

"No, I do not wish to be a hypocrite." His third and final honest answer.

Now he was at least trying to hold himself to higher standards. In all aspects of mind and body, not just those he found immediately useful.

Dumbledore's hypocrisy had infuriated his younger self, and he didn't even need Luna to point out the obvious inference – that if he allowed hypocrisy to seep into his own actions, he would infuriate himself. He does not quite know how to achieve happiness, but he at least knows that self-loathing, subconscious or otherwise, would get in the way.

Tack one more onto the list for later review: hypocrisy. And on that note...

"Could you give a full definition for that, before I go?"

Not because he didn't know the definition himself, but because he found that asking for definitions from Luna sometimes revealed new information. Later, for instance, Luna would succinctly summarize her stance on anger and rage by defining them: 'Anger is self-defense, rage is destruction of the other'.

As for hypocrisy...

"Hypocrisy is when the content of the message disagrees with the manner in which it is delivered." She took on an angry cadence, in voice and facial features alike. "SHOUTING IS WRONG! YOU DON'T TEAR INTO PONIES! You need to listen!" Her demeanor returned to lecture. "The contents of these moral 'lessons' disagree with their delivery. Shouting is wrong, says the shouting parent. You don't tear into ponies, says the mother tearing into her son. You need to listen, says the father who never does any listening himself. Hypocrisy is the moral equivalent to trying to use language to convince somepony that language itself is meaningless. It is as logically clumsy as it is stupid."

Riddle chuckled, but didn't interrupt, for she didn't seem done just yet.

"It is also hypocrisy when ponies make excuses and exceptions for themselves when they claim their moral rules are universal. The leader/ruler distinction is the quintessential example of the difference between a principled pony and a hypocrite. When a pony's actions are at odds with what they say, when they don't practice what they preach, and in fact do the opposite, that is hypocrisy."

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