I'm a brony and a fan-bot (term for transformers fan).
Sniper writes a letter to the fictional character, Princess Celestia, after Scout dared him to for teasing him for watching My Little Pony. What Sniper didn't expect was to get a reply from said princess the next morning. Now Sniper has been hired by her as a undercover assassin. What will he do when he gets to Equestria. Will he even accept the job. Let find out, shall we?
Cover art made by ZeFrenchM on Deviantart
Team Fortress 2 owned by Valve
My Little Pony owned by Hasbro
Page generated in 0.07 seconds
Total duration
1,063 users online
1,492,167 hits today, 2,156,967 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Loved this definitely. Would like to see more.
oh this is going to be a treat. tracking.
10530340
I'm sure you seen the videos on youtube this is base on, had you?
10530368
... there's videos?
He says he doesn't watch the show but knows that Twilight sends letters with fire?
On the same note, it's completely unsurprising to me that the pyro has magical princess mail delivering fire.
10530424
Yeah. Just look up the title of my story on youtube and you'll find them.
10530471
Well, he doesn't watch it. But he overheard parts of it when Scout watches it.
10530507
But he did remember.
10530515
Let just say he remember that part out of a tiny bit of curiosity and it got stuck in his head and leave it at that.
Well I guess it isn’t the weirdest thing I’ve read
10530641
What the weirdest thing you've read?
10530648
You aren’t ready for it.
10530702
now Im curious what is the weirdest thing you read
10531705
No one is ready for it,
10531738
try me
10531744
Search history
10531750
i see
10531751
It is truly frightening, what does corn hub even mean
10531751
Why what’s the weirdest thing you’ve read
10531777
Probably a fanfic. That involved grapes, luna, Eggman, three tosters, and comicly large sperm
This was amusing- would be better if you corrected some grammar mistakes tho.
Tease should be Teased
Call should be Called
There’s a lot more grammar mistakes, and your descriptions could be a lot more lively if you added more commas instead of just dropping periods everywhere. Also, as the saying goes, “show, not tell.” Describe what they did, instead of saying things like
That’s basically just like a sentence saying ‘I am happy’. No detailed descriptions, not intriguing, and with these, it is easy to turn a lot of readers away.
Now, I’m not a great writer, but I do have a bit of experience. Try rewriting the sentence above to some thing like
“The RED merc were in their base, relaxing, enjoying the ceasefire peace. Engie was working on his sentries, dispensers, and other contraptions, as usual. Scout was, because of his addiction, sipping a can of bonk beside the fridge. Heavy, well, predictably, polishing his beloved Sasha to extreme glossiness. You get the idea.”
Yes, it’s noticeably longer, but it’s more descriptive and attractive. It’s also more informative and helps with characterisation, even if you don’t plan on using those characters. Remember, your not only writing a story, you’re also telling it. Write from an observer’s perspective. Imagine that you’re in the story, observing the scene playing out in front of you. Feel free to use the sentence if you plan to rewrite this! Not pushing you to rewrite this, mind you, I just want to help you improve your writing and get more views by giving out some constructive criticism.
Pardon me for my rant. Cya
I like it so far, though I doubt Celestia would be fond of someone that puts bullets in people's skulls, whether they're 'evil' or not. That and the "assassin for hire" thing. Maybe she thinks he can be a bodyguard?
Intriguing and amusing but could use a good proofreading.
Yeah, they've all seen and experienced stranger things. Especially if you consider some of the fan-made animations to be canon.
-
Are Marasmus and Discord the same person? One of the hats was a Unicorn-themed one, and voice lines came along with it.
lmao