Sniper writes a letter to Princess Celestia

by Rodimus Pony

First published

Sniper sends a letter to the princess... and then receive a job.

Sniper writes a letter to the fictional character, Princess Celestia, after Scout dared him to for teasing him for watching My Little Pony. What Sniper didn't expect was to get a reply from said princess the next morning. Now Sniper has been hired by her as a undercover assassin. What will he do when he gets to Equestria. Will he even accept the job. Let find out, shall we?

Cover art made by ZeFrenchM on Deviantart

Team Fortress 2 owned by Valve
My Little Pony owned by Hasbro

Sniper writes a letter

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"Victory!"


The battle was over and the RED team took another win from The BLU team. Now the RED mercenaries were relaxing or doing whatever they want with their free time. Sniper have left his sniper nest to head to the lounge room. Just as he reached the lounge, from the sounds of the TV someone was already inside. Whoever it was must be watching something strange. He mostly heard girls voices. Just as Sniper walked into the lounge, He groaned at the sight he saw. There was Scout sitting on the chair facing the TV watching My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic. Sniper couldn't believe this was happening again. This was the fifth time this month one of the other REDs caught Scout watching the little girls show. He slowly walked up behind Scout.

"What are you doing?" Sniper asked. This make the Bostonian jump and scream like a little girl. Scout quickly turned around and glared at his teammate.

"Jeez man, don't sneak up on me like that!" Scout shouted.

Sniper shook his head. "Mate, this is the fifth time one of us caught you watching this show."

"Yeah so?" Scout asked.

"Shouldn't you be watching something your own age... and gender?" Sniper asked.

Scout gave Sniper a look. "Hey. A lot of guys my age watch this show." Scout said.

"That just ain't right." Sniper said.

Scout just stared at his teammates. "How would you know if you never watched the show?" Scout asked.

"I don't need to watch the show to know it is for little girls." Sniper said then chuckled."Which I guess makes you the first girl mercenary of RED team."

Scout didn't like being teased for watching a little show. But being called a little girl is where he draws the line. He had to think of something to get back at Sniper and fast. Then an idea pop up in his head. He turned to Sniper and smirked.

"Tell you what. If that is what you think." Scout said." Then I dare you to write a friendship letter to Princess Celestia."

Sniper frowned."Ain't gonna happen, mate." He said, then turned around to head for the door.

Scout smiled."Oh I get it." He said."You ain't professional enough to do something when someone dares you to."

Sniper stopped in his tracks, turned around and narrow his eyes at his teammate. Now, Sniper is a person with standards. One of them is being polite. But when it comes to saying he wasn't being professional enough. That standard goes out the window. Still he wants to proof to his teammates and his boss (who is always watching) that he is a professional. So he caved.

"You know what? Fine! I'll sent a letter to the stupid princess! Do you want me to give the letter to Pyro so he can sent it to her by fire too?!" Sniper asked.

Scout smiled. "Oh yeah! Do that too."

Sniper groaned as he left lounge towards his bedroom.


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(Sniper's room)


In his room, Sniper sat at his desk with a piece of paper right in front of him and a pencil in his hand. He was ready to proof to Scout would do it. He smirk and began to write.

Dear Princess Celestia

I've learned nothing about friendship this week. In fact, my so called friend 'the Heavy' keep taking all the medkits. He's not even that injured and I'm right there ignited in flames about to become a frikkin cook steak! If anyone should be sent to the moon, it would be him. I must leave now. There a BLU Scout in target range just waiting for one of my bullets to hit their skull.

Your faithful assassin for hire,
RED Sniper

As Sniper finished writing his letter, he put it in an envelope and went to go find Pyro. After what felt like fifteen minutes, he finally found Pyro in one of the halls. Pyro turned around to see Sniper walking up to him.

"Hey. I'm just here to give you this letter so you can set it on fire to send to a princess or something." Sniper said.

He gave the letter to Pyro, then turned around to head back to his bedroom to go to sleep. Pyro just watch Sniper walk away, then looked down at the letter and shrugged. He pulled out a lighter, ignited the flame and aim it at one of the corners of the envelope. What he/she/it didn't expect was when the flame hit it. The whole envelope was engulfed in flames and the embers flew out the nearby window into the night sky. Pyro stared for a moment then shrugged and called it a night.


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(Canterlot, Princess Celestia's bedroom)


It was a crisp cool night in Equestria and Princess Celestia was out on her bedroom balcony looking at her sister's beautiful night sky. Princess Luna really outdid herself this time. Celestia sighed and decided it was time to turn in for the night. She was about to get into bed when a small burst of flames appeared in front of her. When they dissipated, a white envelope came out of it. Celestia was definitely surprised. Spike's flames were green. These were normal orange.

'Maybe Twilight wanted to try to sent a letter through fire magic? Though she usually uses scroll.' Celestia thought.'And it's a little late for a friendship lesson I would think.'

Celestia opened the envelope, pulled out the letter and began to read and she was shocked with what she was reading. It said that she learned nothing about friendship this week, that somepony named 'Heavy' kept taking every medkit even though he isn't hurt and that she was lit on fire! She also say this 'Heavy' should be sent to the moon! She was even more shocked when she read that something called a blue scout was in target range waiting for one of her bullets to hit its skull! Since when did Twilight have a weapon?! What shocked her most of all was that this letter wasn't even from Twilight! It was from somepony that is an assassin for hire named 'Red Sniper'! Celestia put the letter on her bedside table. She didn't know what to think about this.

'Who is Red Sniper and why would he send me a letter like this?' Celestia thought long and hard about the letter she just read. 'Maybe it is a prank? No. He seemed too serious.' She thought some more. On one hoof, the letter said some pretty disturbing things on it. On the other hoof, it also mention learning about friendship and that he was 'for hire'. 'Perhaps hes looking to be my new protege... or a job as private assassin... or both.' Then an idea came to her head and a smile to her face. She magic up a scroll, inkwell and a quill. She began to write.

Dear Red Sniper


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(Red Base, Sniper's room)


Sniper tried to sleep, but the banging on his door kept him from sleeping. He looked at his clock. It was 6 in the morning. He groaned and up to answer the door. He opened it to find Pyro who was giggling and cheerful for some reason.

"Pyro! Do you know what time it is?!" Sniper asked annoyed, but Pyro didn't seem to care as he/she/it happily held out what looks like a scroll to him. he raised an eyebrow to this.

"For me?" Sniper asked.

"Mmhmm." Pyro muffled, then he/she/it skipped down the hall. Sniper chose to ignore that and closed his door. He sat at his desk, unrolled the scroll and began to read.

Dear Red Sniper

I'm glad to that your learning friendship and perhaps 'Heavy' took those medkits to help one of his friends and I'm sorry about you being set on fire. But, I'm afraid I can't send him to the moon. I hope this blue scout was a threat that deserve that bullet. Anyway, in your letter said that you're for hire. Congratulations! You've been hired and are being taking under as my new student.

your new teacher and inployer
Princess Celestia

"Is this some bloody joke?!" Sniper yelled

To Be Continued