• Member Since 2nd Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen May 25th, 2013

TheBrownUnicorn


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((This story is based in the episode "Party of One"))

So yes, first story I wrote... where should I start?

Oh right, Pinkie seems to be having a bad day. Her friends don't want to party with her, and they're lying at her! She falls into a very big depression. Meanwhile, a new pony in town seems to... well, have just arrived, and he had found that the first pony that talked to him, wanted something, and as the new pony in time, he should do it, just to be nice in the first day with the ponies in town. He arrives at a rather colorful house and finds... a crazy pony.

And like this, it starts a story of some sorts. Where we take on a more crazy-ish clumsy Pinkamena, more than a sadistic, killing, maniac Pinkamena, with just one chapter.

If you want more of this unicorn and Pinkamena, give a comment c:

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 9 )

It's Pretty good, and I love the idea. Fave And Like.:moustache:

i approve this story

.......... I was wondering if this story was gonna continue, glad it did. But I have to point out that this chapter was confusing. The way your telling it from the perspective of characters is (whats the word I want to say) bad. Most of the time I had trouble with whos point of view am I reading since you don't give the audience a better point of view. you keep using I/me and I'm wondering who's me until there is some dialogue that tells me who's perspective I'm reading. any thinking dialogue should be in italics. and you keep changing the point of view so quickly its hard to keep up. please use these suggestions to fix this chapter and to help with the next chapter.
i16.photobucket.com/albums/b6/Shadow0666/MLP/124048__safe_pinkie-pie_image-macro_screencap_caption_reaction-image.png

1466899 Well, I have no actual plans to change how the story is told. I wanted to give that 'Which pony is talking?' kind of feel, which makes you pay attention to try to guess who it is. The perspective changes a lot, yes, I will tell you that this only will happen on Chapter 2, or it's planned to only happen in Chapter 2, since so much characters were in all different places, and, after that chapter, you'll already know which ponies are the main characters (Which remembers me I have to change that). In that Chapter, I've mainly covered what I wanted to cover.

So, in a nutshell, Perspective changes in that Chapter were made for the reader to pay attention, kind of. I'm sorry if you didn't like it.

HOWEVER, I will put thoughts in italics (I mostly just write in a notebook, put it on Word, then put it here), thanks for the suggestion.

YES!! UPDATE!!! :pinkiehappy:

It's a very good fanfic:raritywink:

More plz:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

You should really do more this is a nice story!:pinkiehappy::pinkiesad2::pinkiehappy:

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