Fluttershy loves animals and she's quite adept at taking care of even dangerous ones. But can she take care of one of the deadliest predators ever known?
It's just an average day at Teufort, when suddenly an unexplainable phenomenon occurs! Legends tell of the nine warriors, who will one day approach Equestria and save it from the powers of evil.
Getting stuck in a world full of talking ponies? That is not the best way celebrate someone's 18th birthday. Follow Nicko as he tries to make sense of the world he's now in and not get killed in the process. Based off of the Burning Crusadr
[strike]k[/strike]ingdom hearts and[strike] ponys.[/strike] [strike]s[/strike]cootaloo with a keyblade. [strike]s[/strike]tars going out in the sky [strike]whats[/strike] not to love?
Should be: Kingdom hearts and ponies. Scootaloo with a keyblade. Stars going out in the sky. What's not to love?
Apart from some minor things, Sweetie Belle's name is Sweetie Belle, not Sweetiebell, and you often forgot to Capatalise the D in Dash (it's still part of Rainbow's name. I won't give you a thumbs down, but until these mistakes improve, don't expect a thumbs up either.
There are also pacing, and transition issues during and when closing chapters. I recommend getting an editor to help fix these and the typos mentioned earlier.
1346003 I didn't say I didn't, but the mistakes make it less entertaining to read. He seems to have fixed quite a few things though, so I shall give him another shot.
Many typos.
For one your description
Should be:
Kingdom hearts and ponies.
Scootaloo with a keyblade.
Stars going out in the sky.
What's not to love?
Apart from some minor things, Sweetie Belle's name is Sweetie Belle, not Sweetiebell, and you often forgot to Capatalise the D in Dash (it's still part of Rainbow's name. I won't give you a thumbs down, but until these mistakes improve, don't expect a thumbs up either.
There are also pacing, and transition issues during and when closing chapters. I recommend getting an editor to help fix these and the typos mentioned earlier.
That or a good re-write is in order.
1336637
Balls to you, I liked it!
1346003 I didn't say I didn't, but the mistakes make it less entertaining to read.
He seems to have fixed quite a few things though, so I shall give him another shot.
Hmmm this story sounds interesting I'll watch you
more chapters please
Dead story?