Shamrock Wilder, a black coat pegasus moves to ponyville from a small town in the Crystal Mountains. While here she makes new and amazing friends and possibly a love interest, but all is not as it seems when a book leads Shamrock to an ancient evil that threatens to destroy everything she loves. Will Shamrock defeat the evil or will Equestria crumble?
Who is PC and why didn't they defeat the Evil One when they had the chance? Find out in my first story.
A/N: Hey Bronies and Pegsisters. This is my first story, and I've put a lot of thought into this. Hopefully it's good enough for most critics' tastes. Shamrock Wilder is my pony persona and my profile pictures is what she looks like. I have also made a pony for what Shamrock's love interest looks like. That may be kinda weird but we're all weird in some way right??? Anyways, enjoy my fan fic and please comment and changes or things that would make my story better.
Love and Tolerate- Shamrox17 (AKA Shamrock Wilder)
Hey! I took the first comment so there won't be any, "I got first comment! HA!" So stop it.
1135456 Fak u gooby.
1699147
Regidar, please
1699161 Mebbe.
1699147 AAAANNNND, THERE'S FUQQING REGIDAR. As usual.
Anyway, shamrox, not to sound mean, but this is exactly the kind of story people don't want to read. Self-insertion via OC, moves to "ponyville," meets the mane cast, falls in love, saves Equestria. I believe that's been done several hundred times. You should try for an original idea focusing on established characters.
I do like the name of your OC, though.
The wall. It burnz.
Black and green guys. it's the new black and red.
Also, is the Comedy tag up there to look pretty? Because I didn't laugh at all in this. I was too busy being distracted by the horrific wall of text and annoying self-insert. My thoughts could probably be summed up like this.
static.fjcdn.com/gifs/Unfunny_5909f2_1436747.gif
Now for the good bits.... well... at least your OC doesn't have the word 'Shadow', 'Night', or 'Blade' in their name. I guess you have that going for you. Honestly, Shamrock's a pretty original name, so kudos there.
1699926. The comedy tag was definitely not to look pretty. There was supposed to be more funny things in the next chapters. This is my first story though so I'm reading people's opinions and working on new stories. Though I don't think that I'll continue with this story since everyone is tired of "move to ponyville, meet the cast, fall in love, and save equestria" stories and self insert. I will be thinking of other ideas.
mierda