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Old Leatherneck

As The Apple Blooms

Part 69; Old Leatherneck

As everyone sat around the television, Apple Bloom and her family watched an episode of some old sitcom that would have been airing when her uncle, aunt, and their friends were their age. On the screen, several older men were gathered around each other as the camera focused on one of them; a rather old turkey who had glasses and what appeared to be a pencil mustache. It also turned out that, due to the humorous events of the episode, this man had a grenade shoved down his pants and another man had reached down in an attempt to remove it. Turning to his commanding officer (A pudgy man with glasses and an officer’s cap), the fictional man nervously asked, “Excuse me sir. Now that the crisis has passed, you mind asking Grazer to take his hand out of my trousers?”

Apple Bloom and Sideswipe couldn’t help but burst into laughter at the final punchline of the episode.

At the bottom of the screen, the words “you have been watching” popped up as a military drum began to play. Soon enough, the characters from the sitcom began to march across the screen as the name of their actor appeared underneath them as the drum gave way to a full on military march rendition of the show’s (admittedly catchy) theme.

Turning to her uncle, Apple Bloom remarked, “Ah can’t believe Ah’ve never heard of this show before.” Ironhide smiled as he replied, “Don’t thank me. Wheeljack was the one who found it first.” As the former farm girl turned to face the maverick mechanic, he admitted, “Eh, you grow up with family on both sides of the ponds like me means you’re around a lot of interesting things.”

Everyone was distracted when a British accented announcer on the TV said, “And now we go from the not-to distant past to the very distant future with Ipso-Facto, T-Square, Monkey Wrench and all the others as we give you The Works.”

While the commercials played, Apple Bloom took a moment to process everything that happened in the last few days. The day before, Marble had been kissed against her will by the same man who had hit on Torque Wrench several months earlier. Thankfully, today had been far less eventful, save for Sideswipe electing to spend the day helping her girlfriend at the museum to make up for the mishap at the convention. Now, having learned that the pilot for “The Works” would be airing on a channel called ACBC, or the Anglo-Celtic Broadcasting Corporation.

As her eyes drifted to her cousin, Apple Bloom found Torque Wrench hugging a plush orange robot identical to Marble’s as Kerfuffle pointed to the TV and called out, “Here it is! It’s starting!” Turning her attention back to the screen, she didn’t know what to expect from this show her cousin had been going on about since she arrived.

Apple Bloom was impressed by the sight of a giant mechanical ant emerging over a hill and walking up to and past the camera. Already, the former farm girl was impressed by how well the CGI in this clearly decades old cartoon clearly was.

The episode continued, introducing Apple Bloom and Sideswipe to a small yellow-gold robot named Ipso-Facto and an orange robot with a Scottish accent named Monkey Wrench, two hapless construction robots who lived in a world that was populated entirely by robots. However, when a spaceship crashes near their construction site, they meet and befriend a teenaged human pilot known only as “T-Square.”

After nearly twenty minutes, a new character was introduced; a blue robot on wheels that began barking orders at the other machines. ‘Ugh, reminds me of Applejack.’ Apple Bloom thought to herself as she watched this clearly foul tempered robot berate and insult the others. ‘Now that Ah think about it, he kinda reminds me of what Uncle Ironhide told me of the Marines.”

As she finished her thought, Apple Bloom heard Monkey Wrench reply to something the blue robot barked with, “Whatever you say Forman Bumper.” Taking this in, the former farm girl thought, ‘So that’s this guy’s name. Forman Bumper.’

Torque Wrench then turned to her father and informed, “You know Leatherneck will be with the rest of the cast at the panel tomorrow.” Nodding, Ironhide replied, “I know. I already got a note saying he wants to catch up with me.” He then let out a gentle chuckle as he added, “And I was thinking you guys might like to catch up with some old friends.” The elder girl lit up as she squealed, “Really? That’s Awesome!” She then wrapped her father in a massive hug as she happily declared, “You’re the best dad!”

Confused, Apple Bloom asked, “Who’s Leatherneck?” Turning to face his daughter, Ironhide answered, “He was the voice of Forman Bumper, and we actually met him years ago at the first convention they held here, and we kinda became friends.” Ratchet then quipped, “Kind of funny given he was a marine.”

As the former farm girl took this in, Sideswipe asked, “Wait! You? Friends with a marine?” Ironhide let out an embarrassed chuckle as he admitted, “Yeah, it’s kind of a funny story.” He then added, “Besides, I might have my concerns with the corps, but I can get along with people who are marines.” Wheeljack immediately added, “Don’t forget Beachcomber! He served for a few years and he’s a pretty cool guy.”

Everyone was so distracted by their conversation that they barely noticed Chromia trying to get everyone’s attention with, “I hate to interrupt, but the show’s over.” Apple Bloom turned to see that the tv was playing credits to the sound of retro-futuristic music. The family matriarch then continued, “We’ve all got a busy day tomorrow.”

Ironhide stood up from his chair as he said, “Well, looks like it’s time we all got some rest.” He then turned to Ratchet and continued, “And it’s about time you started heading home.” As everyone prepared to get ready for bed, Apple Bloom found herself wondering what exactly the next day had in store.

The Convention Hall, The Next Day….

Walking through the convention hall, Apple Bloom found that despite being the third day of the convention, it was still as crowded as ever. ‘Heh. Guess it’s a good thing Sideswipe and Marble aren’t here.’ While she was a bit bummed out that her sister and friend couldn’t be there, she was still happy that another person, a certain orange boy, was more than willing to tag along.

From behind her, the former farm girl heard the sound of Tender Taps’s voice calling out, “This place is pretty cool.” Turning around, Apple Bloom found her boyfriend, dressed in a purple buttoned tee shirt and black pants, walk up to her as he admitted, “I’ve never seen a crowd like this before.” Smirking, the red-haired girl playfully quipped, “Ah’m sure you’ve performed for groups around this size or so before.” Shrugging, the purple haired dancer relented, “Ok, let me rephrase that. I’ve never seen a crowd like this before up close.”

Making their way to a relatively clear corner as Tender Taps said, “Thanks for inviting me Apple Bloom.” Taking her boyfriend’s hand, Apple Bloom replied, “You’re welcome. Ah’m just happy you wanted to come.” The orange boy began to blush as he admitted, “I’ve never been to a convention this busy before. Not even dance conventions get like this.”

Intrigued, Apple Bloom asked, “Wait, there are dance conventions?” Nodding, the orange boy explained, “Well, they’re more like competitions, but they often have master classes by famous dancers. I’ve been to a few and they’re really fun!” Tender Taps then began to awkwardly scuff the floor as he apologized, “Sorry for being so focused on dancing.”

Shaking her head, Apple Bloom reassured him, “It’s alright! If anythin’, Ah’m just happy you’ve got somethin’ you love doin’ like tap dancin’.” She then continued, “Ah still don’t know what Ah wanna do with mahself. For a while Ah thought Ah’d be helpin’ with the farm back home but now….” Starting to tear up as memories of her sister’s actions entered her mind, she continued, “Guess now Ah’ve had mah whole world turned upside down.”

Tender Taps took his girlfriend’s hands as he reassured her, “I don’t know what made your sister say what she did, but she’s a fool and a jerk for turning her back on someone as wonderful as you.” Blushing as her eyes began to water, Apple Bloom wrapped her boyfriend in a tight hug before thanking him, “Thanks Tendy. You’re the best.” Hugging her back, he gently replied, “I try my best.”

Both teens then shared a quick kiss before simultaneously stating, “I love you.”

At that moment, Apple Bloom and Tender Taps were distracted when they heard Wheeljack call out, “There you kids are!” As the former farm girl turned to face her friend, he continued, “Ironhide says it’s time for you guys to mee the cast. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Ready to meet the cast of The Works?” Nodding, Apple Bloom replied, “Ah’m ready.” Even Tender Taps added, “This should be fun!”

With that, the two teens followed Wheeljack to a secluded location, where Ironhide was waiting for them.

VIP Dressing Room….

Entering the VIP room, Apple Bloom and Tender Taps were greeted by the sight of several adults who were around Ironhide’s age (give or take a few years) Among this group were Torque Wrench and Kerfuffle, who were chatting with a pale white man with dark red hair who spoke with what she recognized as the same voice as the character of Monkey Wrench from the episode of “The Works” the night before.

As they made their way in, the former farm girl found her uncle talking with an olive skin and dark green hair. However, what really caught Apple Bloom’s attention was the globe and anchor tattooed on his right arm, something that she’d learned was only found on men who had served in the marine corps. ‘Come on Apple Bloom.’ She thought to herself. ‘This guy has to be decent if he’s speakin’ with Uncle Ironhide.’

Once the two teens made their way up to them, Ironhide turned to face them as he said, “Ah, here they are. My lovely daughter and her boyfriend.” The olive man let out a gentle chuckle as he replied, “First Torque Wrench, now this kid and your other daughter. I wouldn’t be surprised if you started founded your own orphanage by now.” The former sergeant shrugged before quipping, “At this point, it’s only a matter of time.”

Turning back to Apple Bloom, Ironhide properly introduced his friend with, “Apple Bloom, this is Leatherneck. He was the voice of Forman Bumper.” The olive man extended his hand as he introduced himself with, “Gunnery Sergeant Leatherneck at your service.” As the former farm girl shook his hand, she introduced herself, “Ah’m Apple Bloom.” She then turned to her boyfriend and added, “And this is Tender Taps.” The orange dancer gave a polite nod as he added, “It’s nice to meet you sir.”

Leatherneck then, to Apple Bloom’s surprise, asked, “I take it your uncle has told you about how my corps let him down?” Intrigued, the former farm girl asked, “Ah mean, that’s not a problem, is it?” The olive man let out a gentle chuckle as he admitted, “Of course not. Let’s just say back in the day, the corps lost its way.”

As Apple Bloom took this in, she asked, “Well, Ah guess Ah just wanna ask how come you and Uncle Ironhide seem to get along despite…. You know….” When the former farm girl found she was unable to find the right words, Ironhide raised his hand as he interrupted, “Us being from rival branches?”

When both teens nodded, Leatherneck asked, “Mind if I explain this?” Ironhide nodded as he replied, “You’re better at telling the story anyway.” The former marine turned to Apple Bloom and Tender Taps both nodded, leading to him beginning, “Well, it started years ago at the first convention. At that point, we’d just finished the first season and production was starting for season two…..”

The First Convention, Many Years Ago…

Walking through the convention hall, Leatherneck took in the sights of everything around him. People had made basic costumes of everyone from Ipso-Facto to Monkey Wrench to T-Square and even Officer Weevil. And to each side of the lanes of guests, there were booths with show staff, production people, and even some of the other cast members.

As he made his way past his fellow co-star Madame Fairborn, the former marine found several children had already cued up for her autograph. “Heh. Probably my favorite part of all this.” Leatherneck said to himself. Of course, he knew that his character, the grumpy, authoritative and bullyish foreman Bumper, wasn’t as popular with kids as he was with adults, but that didn’t mean people wouldn’t….

“There he is!” Rang out the sound of a young man’s voice. Turning around to see who it was, Leatherneck was approached by several young men, all of whom wore military dress uniforms and sported buzz cuts and globe and anchor tattoos on their arms, clear signs that they were either still serving or had just returned home. Allowing a smirk to form on his face, the older man thought to himself, “Guess I’m gonna get to speak with my fans after all.”

Once the group made their way up to him, one of them, a green man with yellow hair, saluted him as he introduced himself, “Sir, lance corporal Grunt reporting sir!” As the other men snapped to attention and saluted, Grunt handed a picture of his unit as he asked, “You mind signing this for the boys down in Camp Omega?” Flattered, Leatherneck accepted the picture and began to sign his name as he answered, “You’ve got it boys.”

After signing the picture, Leatherneck gave it back as he remarked, “There you guys go. Stay safe out there.” Grunt accepted the picture as he replied, “Thanks.” He then began to scoff the floor as he asked, “So, you mind saying it?”

‘Of course.’ Leatherneck thought to himself. He knew they weren’t talking about anything foreman Bumper had said, but another character he’d portrayed before. Taking a deep breath, the former marine gave a defeated sigh (one which his new friends didn’t notice) before practically shouting….

“What’s your major malfunction numb nuts? Didn’t mommy and daddy love you as a child?”

As everyone else around them gave Leatherneck confused and worried looks, Grunt and the other marines pumped their fists as they let out enthusiastic grunts and exclamations of excitement as they wall walked off. Shaking his head, Leatherneck lamented to himself, “Of course, they still see me as nothing more than Sergeant Decimus.”

After having left the marine corps, Leatherneck began working as a technical advisor for movies. When some hotshot director began production on a movie called “30-06,” the former drill instructor was asked to provide a demo reel of what a DI would sound like. ‘Heh. He liked it so much he asked me to play the role himself.’ The soldier turned actor thought to himself. After all, that was how Leatherneck went from a marine drill instructor to a movie star.

There was just one tiny problem; a lot of people, including a fair bit of the marine corps, took the wrong message from the movie.

His character, Sergeant Decimus, was written to be a particularly cruel, vile, and ineffective drill sergeant, and Leatherneck played him as such, even performing acts that were officially banned by the corps such as striking recruits and sanctioning hazing. Sadly, many soldiers (especially marines) loved the character due to his “authenticity,” completely missing the character’s intention. Sighing to himself, Leatherneck muttered, “It’s as if people think being a rage filled monster is a good thing.”

As he grumbled to himself, however, Leatherneck heard something that stood out from the cacophony of people chatting with each other; the sound of a child calling out, “Daddy? Daddy?”

Looking around, the soldier turned actor found a pale-yellow girl with red hair dressed in a blue shirt, overalls, and black and white sneakers. However, what caught his attention was the fact that this girl’s eyes were watering up and she was clearly panicking and distressed. Perhaps what concerned Leatherneck the most was the fact that no one seemed to be paying her any sort of attention, ignoring her as if she weren’t even there.

Making his way up to the girl, Leatherneck asked, “Hello there. Are you alright?” Shaking her head, the girl tearfully asked, “Have you seen my daddy?” The former marine shook his head as he replied, “I don’t think so.” The girl began to panic again, leading to Leatherneck suggesting, “Hey, how about you and I go talk to the security people? Maybe they can find your daddy.”

The red-haired girl immediately threw herself into Leatherneck, leading to the former marine to hug her back as he said, “Easy there young lady.” The girl then paused as she added, “Wait, my dad says I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.” Taking this in, the older man replied, “Well then, my name is Leatherneck. What’s your name?”

Feeling a little more comfortable, the pale-yellow girl answered, “My name is Torque Wrench.” Nodding, Leatherneck replied, “It’s nice to meet you Torque Wrench.” He then took her hand as he asked, “Now then, let’s see if we can find your daddy.” He then began to escort the young girl away, hoping they could find the young girl’s father.

Leatherneck’s Dressing Room, a Short While Later…

After what seemed like an eternity of searching in vain, Leatherneck and Torque Wrench decided to wait in his dressing room while security tried to find her father. As the young girl allowed her legs to swing (due to being above the ground), The former marine asked, “So, I take it you’re a fan of the Works?”

Shooting up from her chair, Torque Wrench enthusiastically exclaimed, “You bet! It’s my favorite show! I try to catch as many episodes as possible!” Chuckling to himself, Leatherneck asked, “I can tell. Who’s your favorite character?” Though he hoped she would say her favorite character was Forman Bumper, the older man figured she would probably answer either Ipso-Facto or T-Square.

Instead, Torque Wrench answered, “My favorite Character is Monkey Wrench.” Intrigued, Leatherneck inquired, “Really? Why Monkey Wrench?” The young girl admitted, “Well, I guess it’s because he’s kinda like me. I’m not the most popular at school, but I love helping my mom and dad fix things like cars and trucks.”

At that moment, one of the convention security guards said, “Sir? We found the girl’s father.” Turning to the door, Leatherneck replied, “Oh good! Bring him in.” Within a few moments, the door opened, revealing something surprising.

Entering the dressing room was a man with gray skin, black hair, and wearing a red shirt with gray overalls. Though he was more than a few years younger than Leatherneck, the lines on his face made it clear he’d been through something stressful. Taking all this in, the former marine thought to himself, ‘Between the posture and the stress lines, I’m betting this guy was in the war, and probably went through hell and back.”

He was distracted when Torque Wrench ran up to the man as she squealed, “Daddy!” As father and daughter wrapped each other in a tight hug, the gray man let out a relieved, “There you are! Thank Primus you’re safe!” Once he released her, the girl’s father worriedly asked her, “Where were you? Your mother and I were terrified!”

As Torque Wrench began to hold her head in shame, Leatherneck stepped forward and said, “I found her alone in the crowd. I think she may have been overwhelmed.” The girl’s father let out a sigh as he apologized, “Sorry, I was just worried about her.” He then extended his hand and said something that would stick with Leatherneck for years to come.

“I’m Ironhide.”

‘Ironhide?’ Leatherneck thought to himself. ‘As in Sergeant Ironhide? The Wrecker?’ As his eyes inspected the man before him, however, the former drill sergeant realized that this man standing before him did resemble images he’d seen of Sergeant Ironhide with the rest of the Wreckers. Taking all of this in, he couldn’t help but think, ‘He’s actually a bit calmer than I expected.’

He was distracted when Ironhide asked, “You alright buddy?” Returning to the land of the living, Leatherneck replied, “Yeah, I’m fine.” He then took the former army sergeant’s hand and shook it as he introduced himself, “I’m Leatherneck.” As both men finished their handshake, Ironhide looked down to the former marine’s arm and remarked, “Nice tattoo.”

Pulling his hand back, Leatherneck remarked, “Yeah. It’s a little memento of when I graduated at Parry Island.” Ironhide paused for a moment before apologizing, “Sorry for staring. I don’t have the best history with Marines, and I try to tell myself it’s not all of them.” He then stopped himself as he added, “I mean, you guys…. I mean.”

“I understand.” Leatherneck interrupted. He then sighed as he continued, "During the war, we all lost our way, the Corps more than anyone else.” As Ironhide took this in, the former marine said, “I don’t know how much this will help, but at least in my opinion, Sentinel Prime was a monster and a disgrace to the corps.”

Taking this in, Ironhide let out a gentle, “Thanks.”

At that moment, an idea entered Leatherneck’s mind. Turning to Torque Wrench, the former marine asked, “Say, do you want to meet the real Monkey Wrench?” Lighting up, the young girl asked, “Really?” Giving a mischievous smirk, Leatherneck slipped into Sergeant Bumper as he replied, “Of course I can find that good for nothing gearhead!”

Unfortunately, Torque Wrench let out a small whimper as she backed away. Ironhide stepped in between his daughter and Leatherneck as he apologized, “Sorry about that, but she doesn’t like Foreman Bumper.” The red-haired girl nodded as she replied, “Yeah. He’s a bully.” The old marine shrugged as he admitted, “You’re right. He is a bully.” He then let out an embarrassed chuckle as he added, “Unfortunately some people don’t seem to think that way.”

After a few more moments, Leatherneck continued, “But still, I’d like to introduce you to someone.” With that, the former marine proceeded to take Torque Wrench and Ironhide to meet (the real) Monkey Wrench.

The Present Day…

“And since then, we’ve tried to stay in touch.” Leatherneck said as he finished his story. As Apple Bloom and Tender Taps took it all in, the former marine added, “You can even thank me for getting your fath…..” pausing for a moment, he corrected himself, “I mean, your uncle and his buddies their jobs here.”

Ironhide then added, “That and it’s a nice change of pace from tearing apart scrap metal all the time.” Playfully rolling his eyes, Leatherneck replied, “Of course, that too.”

Everyone was distracted when Apple Bloom’s stomach began to rumble loudly. Letting out an embarrassed chuckle, the former farm girl asked, “Uncle Ironhide? Can Ah get somethin’ to eat?” Nodding, the family patriarch replied, “Alright kid.” Tender Taps then added, “How about we get some pretzels on me?”

Giving her boyfriend a mischievous smirk, Apple Bloom replied, “Ah dunno about eatin’ them off of you like a table.” Tender Taps began to laugh as he remarked, “You smart ass.” He then led his girlfriend away, hopeful they could find the snack bar.

Once the two teens were gone, Leatherneck turned to Ironhide as he asked, “So, she know about the Hamlet Incident?” Sighing, the former sergeant answered, “She knows something happened, but I haven’t been able to tell her everything yet. It’s complicated.” Resting a hand on his friend’s shoulder, the old marine reassured him, “Well, I know that if I were in your position, I’d do the exact same thing.” Smiling, Ironhide let out a gentle, “Thanks mate.”

The two former soldiers were interrupted when Wheeljack barged in as he informed, “Hey sarge? We’ve got some guy making a mess near the south entrance. We think he may have had a bit to drink.” Straightening himself out, Ironhide turned to the maverick mechanic as he replied, “Copy that. Let’s go get this guy.” He then turned back to Leatherneck as he shrugged and replied, “Duty calls.”

“Don’t let me stop you.” Leatherneck replied as he gave a respectful nod. With that, Ironhide and Ratchet departed to deal with the drunken convention goer, all while the former marine thought to himself, “Had things been different, you would have made a good Marine Ironhide. It’s a shame things had to play out the way they did.”

After all, the hardest thing to keep in war is one’s soul, and Leatherneck knew how many marines were willing to sell theirs for the sake of a victory that never came.

Author's Note:

Next Time; Now that she's staying, Apple Bloom tries to enroll in an actual tap class. The only problem is that Hoofer Steps needs to see where the former farm girl's skill level actually lays.

Author's note: I actually had to rewrite a good chunk of this chapter due to it not being saved (damn Wifi issues). I just hope this problem doesn't persist in the future.

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