• Member Since 18th Feb, 2017
  • offline last seen Nov 6th, 2023

WinterShade


I write dark stories about brightly-coloured horses! (pfp by Cassiopeia on EA)

Comments ( 3 )

Alright, so I read this because it was just depressing seeing a story with fewer views than my recent FO:E story.

I’m glad I did. While some parts seemed like they were missing, it’s an interesting take on FO:E. Especially the bit with the ponies being named designations (though I’d prefer if they did find a name for themselves later), and the simple fact that this is actually an FO:E story from the perspective of a pegasus yet the Enclave was still weaved in anyhow.

Anyways, keep writing this, it may not get many views, but you’ll have at least one person tracking it.

10121624
Thank you for your kind words. ^^

Btw, I'm wondering, could you maybe say which parts did you feel were missing? I am quite new at this, so I'm looking for any chance to improve.

10122944
The first part that comes to mind for me is that I’m not entirely clear on how the pegasus revolution started and where all those ponies came from, it just seemed kind of like a time skip.

Secondly, how’d they all get guns? If this is so strictly communism, how’d they keep them?

Other than that, I can’t think of anything else. Keep it up.

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