Author's Note: This is a second attempt at my own self insert by the same title. The original was admittedly pretty bad. Horrible pacing, yet another story where Equestria is Earth after we nuked ourselves into oblivion, and the fact that I didn't really know what I was doing. but that's all in the past. On to the wheat and potatoes.

Just minding my own business when Bam, I black out, I awake, everything seems normal, but my ceiling and floor weren't made of crystal, and I don't remember living 23 stories up. But then again, anything can happen when Sheogorath is involved.

But I was brought here for a purpose. To stop an ancient threat, and to fight in a war of epic proportions.