Seven years before Twilight Sparkle, a curious creature arrives in Ponyville. How will they react to each other and this strange new world?
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Doug could see it as it allows us to grow and change more. Look at Cinicinnatoius man because the dictator of Rome twice in an emergency and gave up power when he was no longer needed to return to farming.
Well, this chapter is a perfect way to ruin the joy from the last. I seriously think you overplay the halfbreed thing. I mean if these foals reflect their canon forms in any meaningful way, then this excess drama is rather moot. The alicorn plot part also seems to have vanished for quite some time. It really needs some payoff, or it'll seem tacked on. I hate to be the downer, but geez, this chapter really killed the vibe.
10055933
It is more building on what happens later in the universe. There was a question if any of their foals would gain Cutie Marks. This is addressing it with more drama. As for the joke about one becoming an alicorn it is just a wink and a nod to Twilight when she gains her wings.
I am surprised that Chrysalis’s part was cut and she did try and set up her bet in the retelling.
I for one am loving the drama set up in this iteration. It’s very natural to have these worries and makes the characters much more lifelike and less 2-dimensional. And, provides much needed tension to have the story/year end in a bittersweet, hopeful yet worried feeling, as a story with a planned sequel deserves.
As the story comes to a close, I have to ask what’s next? Is a rewrite of Year Two on the table? I tried getting into it in its current state but honestly it’s pretty difficult; the writing is very robotic and lacks a lot of the emotional facets that is present in this rewrite, aspects that makes this story a joy to read. Jumping from this to that is pretty jarring.
It’s really a compliment to how much you’ve improved as a writer over the past two years though! Browsing through the series I can see a significant improvement in storytelling and narrative flow.
10055946
That really doesn't stop it from coming off over the top and excessive. It also feels like they seem to repeat the same talking points over and over. There are parts of the story I've simply skimmed over because it all ends with the same revelation. They are abnormal "Oh no, this could be bad." Ten chapters later. It repeats. Shrug, Just my thoughts, that is all.
10055996
Thanks! I feel like my style steadily improved; I like every book more than the previous, and I might do a fairly heavy editing pass on books 2-7. Part of me doubts it will be substantive enough to really break that jarring feeling, but I don't want to sell myself short either. If you're finding it terribly slow I would recommend jumping to Continuity Disrupted and starting from there, possibly with the accompanying blog post to get up to speed. The other AB:X books bog down a little more with B-plots and filler episodes, kind of like this one did.
10055933
I can certainly see where you're coming from, and I think that was one of the places the original was stronger than this one: the 'underpowered foals' revelation is a lot more unexpected when it is revealed, and this one definitely draws it out in a way that I think might have been more realistic with the 'tech' they use later on but makes for a narratively worse experience. And since I'm planning and writing to cleave to the later timeline, some payoffs can't happen just yet. I. e. Celestia doesn't return until book 2, and the question on their cutie marks isn't resolved until much, much later. 264 chapters later! Or 120. (Seriously, I counted)
10055946
That's because it wasn't Chrysalis who showed up but the spy / integrator who returns in Book 5.
I'm pretty sure this is a fallacy:
The standard deviation (often called 'sigma', as in Six Sigma, in the given context) is designed to measure how much deviation from the norm there is within a sample, and increases with increasing amount of difference.
Imagine a population with (arbitrarily, hypothetically) a bimodal distribution of magic with 50% having exactly 1 unit and the other 50% having exactly 1000 units. The mean is 500.5 units and the SD is 499.5. Even adding a fraction of intermediate values (a total of 12 now, with 4 of 1, 2 of 10, 2 of 100, 4 of 1000), you get a mean of 352 and an SD of ~459.5.
It probably is true that "nearly all" ponies fall within 2 sigma of the norm (I don't even know if it's possible to construct a distribution in which it isn't), but it does not determine anything about how magic is distributed.
10056702
...Obviously I play far too much Path. Thanks!
10056858
Yeah, I'm definitely going for more of a 'the population all fall within ten percent of the mean' or something to that extent. Edited to:
This was so sweet and adorable at the start but the end has me panicking.
I'm pretty sure one or two donkeys will eventually make Ponyville their home; Cranky, I think it was, and his wife.
Sad chapter but you cant expect every chapter to be exciting and action packed or very adorable......occasionally you have to have a sad chapter bc it allows you to enjoy the happy or exciting etc chapters that much more.
Very well written.
I recently started reading the original AB1 and while it is good so far....i like the rewrite more. The orig has a breakneck pace worthy of Rainbow Dash doing a rainboom. This one has a MUCH better pace.
One shouldn't drink while they're still in breastfeeding stage.
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lot of "Cider" in US terms are what we consider Apple Juice in Europe