Page generated in 0.02 seconds
Total duration
971 users online
1,989 hits today, 2,205,040 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Text is missing punctuation, sometimes an entire paragraph without. It is tiring to read like this.
it's him
9774198
It's who
Pretty good so far! A few typos and some clunky sections but overall fine.
9774204
The babe
9765627
But the pacing is good he just needs a Editor
9815042
I got one a few days ago i just haven't given him my previous chapters yet
A fullfilled life come to a heroic end. May his familie find peace and may his new life be fullfilling to
9774198
Who?
9960437
I was making a referance to Talion in Equestria
I'm gonna be honest here; this story needs punctuation... Badly. It's almost unreadable for me. I'll give a few more chapters a shot, because I think this story has potential, but I might honestly have to stop reading this.
9989989
I use the auto read function of my mobile phone. I can understand it and im german...
Re-reading in 2020 !
Edit: Now also 2021!
I'm happy and sad for Grandpa was the only one to die happy because the family can live on ,also happy little girl didn't lose her life or either of her parents. Sad because that little lose her grandpa so early.
This is starting on really shaky ground because it features that damned merchant. Even worse this needs editing but at least the transition provides a glimmer of hope.
Punctuation is almost nonexistent, it's extremely rushed, and the MC has zero reaction to being reborn as a dragon in a fantasy world that shouldn't exist. Also, he passes out because HiE stories are required by law to start with the MC passing out and absolutely no other reason. Not a good start, but I never judge a story on the first chapter.
If you'd like, I can go into further detail about what I would recommend to fix it. PM me if you want me to.
Great edits
I give it a re-reading. Lets see where this all leads to