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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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The story is really enjoyable but the grammar man, I am not a native English speaker but man
Why would you try to stick a needle through what is quite literally naturally grown armor? If you have to pull from where his scales fully cover then why not go under them instead of trying to go through? Why not try where the scales are naturally thiner and weaker, such as the inside of the elbow or back of the knee? And if his scales are really so tough as to make any of that impossible then why not pull from where there are no scales, such as the inside of the mouth?
In summary, this doctor is not qualified to be a doctor if he can't think of any of those himself and just chooses to skip the test instead.
9763684
Because no matter what you do you can't cut through Plot Armor, that's why Protagonists always win....
9766187
No their are still ways to kill him
9763684
that Spyro is know for his impenetrable scales
Wow i get nervous at first Maybe a cure for Nightmare and Sombra?
Okay. The punctuation is getting better, but the storytelling is still somewhat clunky, and quite rushed. A more relaxed pace would be benificial here. The overall plot is good, though. I like where this is going, though a few plotholes could be filled in.
Pity. In the X-Men universe they have adamantium tipped needles for extra-tough hides. Not so much here.
(Shrugs) It seems pretty passive to me. This version, at least.
Celestia should station 1 group of Guard for Spyro! He is possibel a valuable asset to anti dark magic research and a natural source of dark magic should be protected against missuse! Hes a Babydragon. Why not protect a powerful infant ?! You might want to add a Guard detail that keeps hiding in the shadows...
This was a sweet chapter I hope they can make a better dark magic that don't hurt the user in improves there magic,and they can use it for good.
Jedi Academy style! Use darkness for good or use light for dark purposes. The user decided its actual use not its nature
What happened to the picture of the puppets?
9762099
To be fair, its really hard to enjoy but still well enough to understand. Im german but still i get the meaning behind the sentances.
9763684
That are logic errors that need adressing. Since the Author has writers block at the moment he might finally fix mistakes written in this early chapters.
9766187
Depends on the Author. Also the definition of winning. Its perfectly normal to have the MC survive wile side characters die. After all without the MC there is no story.
Example: D-Day: The survivers are whats left to tell the story. So one could say MC dont have plot armor but are the lucky surviver to tell the story...
9766502
Otherwise it would be boring. Hope you there for dont Yolo trough pretty mutch suicide missions without consideration how to survive etc.
9990005
Its 2021 now. Naybe with some luck the Author start repair already existing chapters
9993857
Yep. Contrast is important after all.
10727662
The link get cut like the strings of a puppet and there for rendered useless...
A noticeable improvement in grammar. It can still use some improvement, but it's good enough that I can ignore it. Still rushed, though, and still rather clunky dialogue. Still, it's improving.
One thing to note, switching from first person narrative to another first person narrative is a big no-no. If you have a first person narrative and you absolutely have to follow someone else for a time, use third person.
The edit made the read rather enjoyable
Buttercup
Looking forward to you editing the remaining chapters one day, maybe one day we can make a cross over as well when time allows for it