Yes, I like constructive criticism
It has been a few months since Luna has gotten back, and she's been feeling rather worthless. What will happen when an mysterious Alicorn tries to cheer her up.
*Please, for the love of all that is good, don't look at the words "Mysterious Alicorn" and want to pike my body. Just read, and then criticize*
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Well, damn. At first I was like: Alicorn OC? Dafuq? Then I read the description:
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/295/561/d99
After reading:
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That, good sir, was beautiful. Take all my thumbs.
Like, Fav, Thumbs Up, 5 stars, 10/10, 100% genius.
You, dear Sir, have portrayed the relationship just gloriously.
That was beautiful. You portrayed Luna and Tia perfectly. Cery well written. I look forward to more of your stories in the future.
First, I was like
Then, I was like
Then, I was like
That was amazing. A few grammar things here and there that if you yourself have read through the story can find and fix them, but other than that great job!
1061370
I'm glad you gave it a chance than.
1061666
I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I was actually afraid that their relationship might seem off.
1061753
Thank you. I really tried to make them seem in character to some degree.
I appreciate your interest in my writing. Keep an eye out, I would like to try to get something up, whether it be a story or a chapter, every week.
1062143
I'm going to assume that is good.
1062360
Arg, I know. I definitely have to re read it and make some corrections. Thank you for reading though.
1063742 I'm glad I did too
It deserves a lot more views and upvotes than it got!
1063796
Thanks, that means a lot to me.
1063742
Oh, definitely.
I have a soft spot for Luna/Celestia fics. This is one of my new favorites. Well done :3
It could use some minor spelling and grammar revision, but overall, I liked it.
Also, Snuggles Fluff was a surprisingly refreshing OC. I can usually predict how stories are going to end, but yours threw me off twice.
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Thoughts:
the first scene started well, but then got to quick
too much telling and not showing
the meeting with snuggles was a little too awkward.
when luna talks to snuggles, the paragraph should be a little more descriptive and less to the point.
their speech manner sounds too informal
the reveal was too text-book like. let's get more of luna's thoughts on it
However, I liked your idea. I'm glad I read it. And sorry I took forever.