The Silence of the Time Traveler

by Nolamancy

1.3 - This Castle Makes No Sense

Author's Note:

Well, I didn't anticipate this chapter to be delayed so damn long. Then again, I didn't really anticipate this chapter to begin with, so...

I've never had a clear idea of what was going to happen in town. Combined with the fact I'm going insane stuck in this house and have a laptop that broke again, I've just decided to skip it. For now, I've had to borrow a laptop from my friend. But as we are sharing it and he has virtual classes, I don't get it as much as I would like. And as my handwriting is both slow and unreadable, well, this chapter is a bit shorter than the other ones.

Seras has been busy with his Zoom classes. And while he has time to do proofreading, he doesn't have the time nor do we have the means to have the same kind of talks as we did for the other chapters.

What happens in town isn't really important, anyway. So I've just decided to remove it. Maybe I'll make it a bonus chapter later.

But for now, I need to move the story along. Hopefully the next chapter won't take nearly as damn long as I now have some idea on what's going to happen...

It had been 2 hours.

Seriously, getting down the mountain was the easy part.

And then Pinkie happened.

He still had a headache.

But it was a moot point; now he knew where the library was. Apparently, the old one got blown up and it now resided in the castle.

The only problem was that the sun was low on the horizon. He had maybe an hour, tops, before it was dark. And he didn't even remotely trust himself to walk back up the path in the dead of night. And since the PURRS took a few good hours to run...

Eh, screw it. Maybe I can just sleep in the library.

It wasn't his brightest plan.

Then again, when have any of his plans ever been? Or have even gone to plan?

---

The castle was bigger on the inside.

The floorplan made no sense.

Somehow he got to the 5th floor after going in a broom closet.

Konrad would have been confused were it not for the fact that he already has to deal with something much more complicated on a daily basis. Namely, his TARDIS.

If anything, his TARDIS was worse. At least this castle didn't use 5-dimensional spacial stacks. Those are what give people headaches. This castle was closer to a compressed space. Those are much easier and less headache-inducing than 5DSS.

But as he stood there looking down the hallway, a singular thought came to his mind:

"...Great. I'm lost."

It wasn't that he didn't know where he was. He knew exactly where he was and how to get to the main entrance, kitchen, lab, swimming pool, and basically everywhere else.

He just didn't know where the library was.

I've literally searched this entire castle. How does the Library continue to elude me?

Also, how have I not run into anyone el...

He never finished that thought. Why you might ask?

Well, to put it simply, universes are strange. Some have said they have some level of consciousness, though no intelligence. Universes regularly change small aspects of their existence to make sure time flows smoothly. While the universe and its timeline are separate, they are ingrained in each other's survival. And as such, they will make small concessions here and there to make sure everything flows smoothly.

People moving between universes is generally not an issue, not unless they break something. But while time travelers generally do their job, they can get... bored sometimes. And that leads to them pushing their luck.

Konrad's luck was already pushed pretty hard that day; Ka can attest as much. And this universe likes to toy around a little more than others. Ka will discover this soon enough.

Now, you didn't come here for the lesson on temporal mechanics, so to summarize:

It was as if the universe was miffed at his current state of being, despite his intentions to help it.

Because at that specific moment where he thought that specific thought, he walked straight into purple fur.

---

All that time with Celestia; all those lessons. After everything she had been through, there was one fact about becoming a Princess of Equestria she was not prepared for:

Being a Princess sucked.

This chapter on dragon courtship was interesting. Females are almost always the dominant one when courting. Once they have chosen a mate, they will show them their hoard. To do so is a sign of them wanting to become a part of theirs. Didn't Ember show Spike hers? I may have to talk with him later about that. Anyway, next chapter...

It wasn't so much the bureaucracy, the security, or even the "nobility" that she had to deal with every day (though Prince Blueblood came in a very close second. How did Celestia and Luna put up with him every day?).

Zebras are very polygamous due to the simple fact the gender ratio is... 10 mares per stallion? No wonder they have such a strong instinct to court. Stallions are so rare that a chance to obtain a mate may be a mare's only one. Maybe that's why Zecora... moving on...

No, it was the simple fact everypony else thought of her as more than just a pony; borderline a god.

Hippogriffs were very... tribal about courting until fairly recently. Probably because Celestia gave them an earful about how immorally they treated stallions...

God of friendship? She might be the princess of that, but a god she was most definitely not. Gods were supposed to be perfect, and her history of friendships was anything but that.

That's surprising. Griffins are actually surprisingly civil when it comes to courting. Even discounting more recent events, they would share food, sleep together, even hunt with their partner. Not sure how I feel about hunting, but I understand their biology somewhat dictates they do so... Oh!

That did get her thinking, what would she even be the god of? What defined her?

I have heard the section on ponies is... biased. I wonder how bad it is...

The god of books? Maybe, but to be fair she was already that before her ascension.

Ok. That is NOT even how friendship between ponies works. I'm not even going to look at what he wrote on courting as you apparently were eating some unknown wild plant while writing this.

God of quesadillas? She'd rather die.

I can see why this book is good reading material on everything EXCEPT pony customs. No wonder nopony even so much as wanted to be your friend, let alone date you...

Dating.

One thing she had never had even remote success with. Never even managed to arrange one.

Might as well be the god of the friendzone...

No book in any library could give an Alicorn advice on romance (and she had checked. This book was essentially her last-ditch effort/research project). Cadence was only so much help. Nopony was able to get past the 'Princess' part.

Then there's the immortality...

She hadn't even considered her immortality until recently. Everyone she knew; her friends, family, even her pets, would eventually die and be lost to time.

The god of time?

I'd rather be the god of quesadillas than...

---

"Tempting fate, even unintentionally, is a bad idea. Especially in a moody universe. I tried it once. Now I will forever be known as the god of lip balm.

Cadets, whatever you do, never tempt fate if you can.

Konrad, stop snickering and pour me another drink. And put away the Burt's Bees."

This is a transcript of a recording by Konrad of Tarlon during the Unofficial Graduation Afterparty of the Time Traveller Cadets, Year 85L161-91B-6484. Any Cultural References or UL Statements have been translated to the best ability of ULMMT.

---

Konrad shook his head, trying to reorient himself (as well as clear the fur from his nose). Tarlon would be proud of his ability to tempt fate; it couldn't have been a coincidence that he ran into someone just as he was thinking that there was no one around. Speaking of which...

The unicorn that he just ran into was purple, marginally bigger than him, and... had wings? He would have to figure that out sooner or later; probably a genetic mutation or something. She was also female and carrying a book in her magic. Good, that meant that the PURRS would work. He was getting worried that there wasn't a library and the locals were just trolling him.

Glancing at her flank, her cutie mark resembled that of what was everywhere on this building, so she was probably the owner of this place.

Just my luck...

But before his mind could analyze any further, she spoke up:

"Oh, I'm sorry. I got lost in a book again. It's not the first time I've run into somepony."

Poltie apology, so probably means she doesn't have much of an ego and is relatively modest. Great, that means she's important. Universe, please know I hate you.

"Anyway, why are you on the 8th floor? This is mostly guest rooms, which don't get much use anyway. And Celestia generally notifies me if she is sending someone over. So..."

"Huh?" For once, Konrad's mind was lagging about 5 seconds behind. But it caught up soon enough, and he shook his head again to clear his mind. "Oh, sorry. I was looking for the library."

There was an uncomfortable silence before she sighed a response.

"Seriously?"