SaltyOutput
Joined 3rd Apr, 2019 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This was sweet
Nice
Not bad. I like how you focused more on what they were feeling than what they were doing. My one criticism would be that the verb tense switches between past and present a few times. Also, I think you missed the word “bundle” in Cadence’s letter.
This was good! Best of luck in the contest, and keep up the good work!
I'm one of the judges for the contest and wanted to leave some notes.
Generally pretty good story here. The prose are reasonably well written. The pacing feels just fine and I don't have any major issues with the structure or writing mechanics.
My biggest issue as simply that the premise of the story didn't really play any sort of major role in the story. There was little discussion about it so it felt a little unneeded.