• Member Since 30th Oct, 2017
  • offline last seen Oct 6th, 2021

Canagan


Just an artistic dude whose muse screams in his ear at times. Usually draws, but took up writing after a story burned a hole in his head!

Comments ( 16 )

Well hey, this is actually pretty well-written! Nice work, it's a step above many new stories that I investigate. The conversation between Eagle and Nautica was quite good, I had no issues visualizing any of it and it flowed pretty naturally.

Your paragraphs are rather lengthy, so it can be a bit difficult to work through huge chunks of text, but that's not difficult to solve. Also, you do need an apostrophe to denote ownership ( matched the walls height should read matched the wall's height ). If you find an editor, you could clean a lot of these small mistakes up and I think it would greatly improve readability.

I'll be keeping an eye on this story!

9664438
Thank you very much for saying so Nyx! I've been worried sick whether or not this was indeed decent, and the feedback is appreciated immensely. I'll try to implement your suggestions, like paragraph length as well as trying to remember blasted apostrophes.

Thanks once again!

“Sure.” He said in a lighter tone that comforted the woman, but she donned a faux scorn.

Um, wouldn't be something else, as the word "women" refers to a female human...just saying.

Eh, It's a good fic, but it doesn't catch interest to well.

9704496
Thanks for the feedback! I'll be sure to go back and make corrections, especially since i hammered out the first chapters in a frenzy... :/

“Who are you...?” the pony asked faintly as his eyes fought to stay open.

“‘Red Eagle’.”

Are we talking about this Red Eagle? 'cause if that's the case then you seemlessly managed to blend Skyrim's and Fallout's lore. Give that griff a shishkebab to match Skyrim's fire sword and you're golden. Heck, you can go the extra mile and make him a Fallout-based briarheart as well by ripping out his heart in Big MT.

Anyway, always fan of a griffon character in a fic, so that's a tracking for you sir. Keep it up!

9802766
Slowly realizes I managed to accidentally reference Skyrim in a Fallout piece without blinking a single brain cell, even though I'm both an Elder Scrolls and Fallout nut simultaneously

Shit... I did not catch that until you mentioned it, wow. Giving me ideas and all that jazz!

But seriously, thank you friend! I appreciate the track, and i sincerely hope you like it! Now i must go and... make sure i didn't accidentally implant other Skyrim references...

I hate to be that guy, but... If Red Eagle's the main character, then why isn't he on the cover art?

9809406
Well... he should be, unless my drawing skills are that bad at representing him or the cover art isn't loading... :rainbowhuh:

He is though, on the left side of the picture, and don't worry about being 'that guy' since any feedback or confusions being brought to my attention help me out greatly. I thank you for taking the time to drop a comment!

Only 10 comments? Can't have that! Adding this to my "read later" pile, so expect a chapter by chapter review/comment/nitpick by 2030!

9953606

Well I look forward to the feedback with a smile! I will warn you though, this story still needs some... polishing as this entire project has been a learning experience in its entirety from the beginning to the foreseeable end. I... feel confident about it yet simultaneously I know it's lacking somewhere.

Gives me mild conniptions...

10794766 Looks around -- eyes shot wide and nervously -- as I clutch a shotgun in a corner of my room; panting :rainbowderp:

You think so? Well thank you plenty! I've been stewing on these last few chapters I've had completed for a while now and I finally worked up the nerve to throw 'em to the people.

If you have any critiques/criticisms feel free to lay 'em on me; I haven't been paying attention to my work as much as I should have, so anything to shake the rust off is welcome!

This seems interesting. Can’t wait to start reading it

10905915
Well I hope you enjoy the read! I am in the middle of some rehashing on it and the like, but I plan on getting back on this once I'm done with hammering certain kinks out. :twilightsmile:

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