The Stages Of Becoming A Fanfilly

by WriterWings

Stage V: In Retrospect...

Almost a week had passed since the incident. To Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, it had felt like an eternity.

Ever since the brutal takeover of what used to be a magnificent clubhouse, the yellow filly had only become even more obsessed with the band, contrary to popular opinion that that was even possible. Even after being returned to the confines of the Apple family farmhouse (in which the fanfilly had been sentenced to ten full days of being grounded, without bail), Apple Bloom had insisted on her 'fellow Cutie Mark Crusader Fryfans' to visit every evening, or else she would simply refuse to eat — no, not even Granny Smith's famous apple pies.

"What's..." Scootaloo squinted at the screen of Apple Bloom's laptop. "'FryFiction?'"

Apple Bloom wasted no time in replying. "FryFiction! The official fanfiction website for fans of The Frying Pones!"

She stuffed an apple fritter into her mouth proudly, pointing to the site with one hoof.

"Look! My story's even made it into the Featured box!"

Sweetie Belle leant in closer to take a look — not too close, though, judging by the stench emanating from her friend, Apple Bloom hadn't showered for the entirety of her sentence. Instead, the filly had doused herself in generous sprays of Le Parfum de la Poêle, the second official fragrance in Dark Raven's new spring collection.

"'Everything For You,'" the unicorn filly read aloud. "Well, the title doesn't sound that bad."

"But just look at the description," Scootaloo gagged, pointing.

Everything For You

after a series of unexpected events, dark raven gives up everything for her (a RavenxOC shipfic lol because why not)

Sweetie Belle winced. "Oh dear. This is going to be bad."

"That got featured?" Scootaloo muttered incredulously.

"Of course!" Apple Bloom chuckled. "Look at the number of likes it has! Look at the views!"

The story had 9 views, and 3 likes. 1 dislike.

"...right," Sweetie Belle inched away from the computer, afraid she'd have to unveil whatever horrors that Apple Bloom had decided to put on the internet. "Um, do you think we can go do something else?"

"Yeah," Scootaloo agreed. "Something else. Anything else. Please."

Apple Bloom frowned, then nodded slowly. "You're right. FryFiction does get a little boring after a while."

She refreshed the page with one last, longing look. No new notifications. Oh well.

She pulled up a new tab, the fresh page bare and naked without any signs of The Frying Pones anywhere in sight. At least she still had her TFP mousepad, she consoled herself, stroking the soft design of Dark Raven's signature with a light trail of her hoof. And, of course, her custom engraved TFP cider mug, her limited edition TFP plushies, her TFP pencil case, her TFP socks, her TFP mane extensions...

"Um, ahem... Apple Bloom, if you're done with us now, we should probably get going," Scootaloo coughed, inching away from the dazed filly.

"Yeah," Sweetie agreed, scratching away at the TFP temporary tattoos Apple Bloom had forcibly plastered onto her forehead. "What with it being a school day and all, and the science project being due tomorrow —"

"SCIENCE PROJECT?!" Apple Bloom whipped around in her seat, sending the TFP plushies on her lap flying. "Hang on a second, what day is it tomorrow?!"

"Wednesda—"

"TOMORROW IS THE DAY OF THE TFP CONCERT!" Apple Bloom spat fritter crumbs from her muzzle, unleashing a horrific display of half-chewed apple mush onto her friends. "HOW COULD AH HAVE FORGOTTEN?! OH MAH GOODNESS, AH'VE GOTTA GET READY!"

"Why would you have to do that toda—" Scootaloo began, before being flung off the side of the bed by two yellow hooves encased in a lifetime supply of TFP wristbands. She hit the wall with a thud, rubbing her aching head in annoyance.

"THERE'S NO TIME TO LOSE! AH NEED TO LOOK MAH VERY BEST!"

"Don't look at me," Sweetie Belle warned. "I'm not getting involved in any of this. And no, I'm not asking Rarity to help you either."

"NOW THAT'S CRAZY TALK. I GOT THE TICKETS, REMEMBER? ALL THREE OF 'EM!"

The fillies paled. "All... Three?"

---

Ponyville Stadium had been visited by plenty of great musicians in the past. Sapphire Shores, Songbird Serenade... Even Countess Coloratura had made her debut here many years ago. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo knew this place like the back of their hooves; they had been here so many times.

And now, they'd be able to witness The Frying Pones do their worst to their best friend, in a musical concoction of loud noise, headbanging and fast-food themed lyrics.

In other words, they were not looking forward to it.

"Well, what are y'all waiting for? Let's go grab our seats!" Apple Bloom squealed as they got ready in the stadium toilets, her hair completely decked out in TFP paraphernalia. In one hoof, she gripped a blinding, flickering sign that screamed 'WE LOVE YOU DARK RAVEN!' in neon green, in the other, those three, fateful tickets.

"Hang on a sec," Sweetie gagged, pressing her head into a toilet cubicle wall. "I need a quick breather."

"She's right," Scootaloo agreed, one hoof against her own neck. "I feel like my trachea's closing in."

"Don't be such sissies. After all, it was the two of ya who introduced me to TFP in the first place! Those are just nerves from being excited!" Apple Bloom added in a singsong voice, dancing with her smudged reflection in the dirt-caked mirror.

"How long is the concert again?" Sweetie Belle gasped.

"Unfortunately, only three hours."

Scootaloo made a noise like she was about to faint.

"Aw, come on guys! It's gonna be awesome! Cutie Mark Crusader Fryfans?"

"Cutie Mark Crusader Fryfans..." They groaned, trudging out of the bathroom, into the deafening, speaker-blasting, sweat-stenching hall of TFP music...

---

AN UNFORTUNATE THREE HOURS LATER

"You know what, Scoots?"

"Yeah, Sweetie Belle?"

"That... Really wasn't as bad as I expected! Even if it did take forever to finish, it was great joining in with the fanchants! Those Fryfans really are dedicated, aren't they?"

"Yeah! It was actually pretty cool. Right Apple Bloom?"

Silence. Only their hoofsteps on the long streets back home echoed in reply.

"Um... Apple Bloom? You okay?"

The yellow filly looked like she'd been through a bloody battlefield, what with her ashen expression, quivering lips, chaotic hair and shaking hooves. It took her a while to stop, stand up straight and look at her friends with horrified, twitching eyes.

"That was... That was..."

"Awesome?" Scootaloo offered.

"The most incredible concert you've ever been to in your life?" Sweetie grinned.

Apple Bloom tried to breathe in, but her chest felt like an iron fist had crushed her ribs into jagged, painful fragments. Finally, she exhaled.

"That was... TERRIBLE! THEY SOUND HORRIBLE LIVE! DARK RAVEN HAS NO TONE, NO RHYTHM... HE SOUNDS LIKE ONE OF THE HOGS BACK AT OUR FARM! THE ONE WITH THE INDIGESTION PROBLEMS!"

"He was fine to me," Scootaloo muttered, unable to take her eyes off the frantic filly.

"AND AS FOR ALL THE OTHERS! DO THEY EVEN KNOW WHAT MUSIC IS? I'VE SEEN KINDERGARTEN MUSIC CLASSES PLAYING BETTER THAN THAT! SCRATCH THAT, EVEN THE BABY CAKES COULD PLAY BETTER MUSIC THAN THAT... AND THEY'RE BABIES!!"

She stomped her hoof onto the ground in anger. "And to think I wasted so much time on such a terrible band! That's it, I'm going home myself. I'll see you at school!"

And with that, she stormed off, just in time to catch the bus. She didn't have enough money for the fare, though; she'd spent it all on TFP merch.

---

Weeks passed. Apple Bloom had cooled off from her anger, and had invited the rest of the CMCs to that little grassy hill overlooking Sweet Apple Acres. As a sincere apology for ruining the past few months they'd had together (and for destroying their clubhouse with ketchup; an army of ants had colonized the tree shortly after), Apple Bloom had prepared a sumptuous picnic, with fresh apple pies, oatcakes and jam, icy strawberry milkshakes and, as it seemed fitting, three hayburgers.

"What an experience, huh?" She chuckled, munching into a slice of pie.

"Yeah," Sweetie agreed. "And you're right. Country music is way better."

"Please," Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "Anything is better than what we've just gone through."

They shared a laugh. Apple Bloom smiled slightly, as the golden sun set on yet another day in Equestria.

"I'm glad I have friends like you. Those that'll stick with me no matter what, no matter how crazy I get over something."

"Are you kidding? We were about to ditch you by the end of that concert!" Scootaloo joked, punching her friend in the shoulder lightly. "Heh, only kidding."

"Hey, can you go change the song? We've heard this one already." Sweetie said, nudging Apple Bloom. "Just skip to whatever's next on YouHoof."

The yellow filly scooted to the laptop, where the mellow tunes of a ukulele filled the evening air. She squinted her eyes as she scrolled.

"Hey... What's K-Pop?"

"No DON'T—"

Author's Note:

Hope you liked the story! Sorry the ending has been delayed for quite a while, but better late than never, right!

Don't forget to leave your feedback in the comments below! I make random stuff like this all the time, so feel free to follow my page too!

— WriterWings

Comments

[Scholarly-Cimmerian]

Nice. The climax of AB's uber-fanfilly state was pretty hilarious, and then the ending with the obligatory "here we go again" was lots of fun too. Oh dear Celestia, I imagine that Scoots and Sweetie (plus the rest of the Apples) are in for another miserable couple of weeks!

[SWEETOLEBOB18]

after a series of unexpected events, dark raven gives up everything for her (a RavenxOC shipfic lol because why not)

name, should be capitalized
Could be worse