• Published 23rd Jan 2019
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The Stages Of Becoming A Fanfilly - WriterWings

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Stage II: Denial

"Hey, this is actually pretty good!"

Apple Bloom sat on the edge of her bed, headphones over her ears, bopping along to the catchy tunes of The Frying Pones: The Lost Hayburger.

The Frying Pones: The Lost Hayburger
Tracklist

1. The Lost Hayburger
2. Burnt Toast
3. Applecores
4. Sour Grapes
5. Sizzle And Fry
6. The Lost Hayburger (DJ PON-3 Remix)
7. Sour Grapes (Acoustic)

(Includes collectible TFP cards!)

The Frying Pones had turned out to be a pop punk band from Fillydelphia, with four members: Dark Raven on lead vocals, Bright Blitz on lead guitar, Woodland Breeze on bass guitar and Rapid Fire on drums.

Apple Bloom knew all of this. She had read their article on Ponypedia. Twice.

No, no, what am I doing? I'm not supposed to like this band. If Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo find out, I'll never hear the end of it!

But their songs are so good though.

My favourite has definitely gotta be 'Applecores'. Really hits close to home! In fact, I don't think I've related to any other song on a level like —

No! Apple Bloom, stop being such a silly filly. I only like country music, and that's final.

Knock knock!

"Apple Bloom! Are ya in there?"

The yellow filly let out a startled splutter, throwing off her headphones and stuffing them under her pillow. With a flurry of rapid clicking, she closed all of the tabs on her computer that could reveal any evidence of her newfound interest in the band.

"Come in!" She called, a tinge of guilt in her voice.

The door creaked open to reveal Granny Smith, who entered the room, with the same creakiness as the door. "Better oil mah joints soon, don'tcha think?" She chuckled, setting herself down rustily on Apple Bloom's bed.

"Ha! Ha! Ha... Yeah!" Apple Bloom replied, grinning, a little too widely. "Uh... Is there anything ya need, Granny Smith?"

Granny Smith frowned, as if something seemed off, but then smiled kindly at her granddaughter. "No, dear, just checkin' in on ya... There was some pretty loud music comin' from yer room, and, what with Applejack having to sort out her teaching plans and all..."

Apple Bloom twitched. "Music? What music? I dunno anything 'bout no music!"

She glanced down at her computer. The headphones had never been plugged in.

"Right... Ah see..." Granny Smith replied, unconvinced. "Well, whoever's playin' 'Applecores' at full volume should probably turn it a mite down during the screamin' parts, or they'll have to answer to mah baseball bat!"

She pretended to take a swing at the air, to prove her point.

"You know The Frying Pones?"

"Course Ah do! As a matter of fact, Ah've even met one've em!"

Apple Bloom's eyes sparkled with excitement. "Really? Which one? Bright Blitz? Dark Raven? Dark Raven's mah favourite!"

Granny Smith smirked. "Nah, Ah'm just pullin' yer leg. But Ah guess we both know who's been playin' all that music now, don't we?"

Apple Bloom flushed with embarrassment. "But... Then howd'ya know the name of the song?"

"Cause they've been screamin' the chorus so loudly all of Ponyville could've heard it!" Granny Smith exclaimed, then bursting out into song:

APPLECORES!!!
FILLED WITH SEEDS!!!
I WANT MORE!!!
GIVE 'EM TO ME!!!

"Or somethin'," she added.

Apple Bloom was at a loss for words, her red hair blown back at the sheer force of her grandmother's screaming.

"Well, I'd best go check on the zapapple jam that's a-cookin' downstairs," she decided, getting up from the bed. "Do turn it down, dear."

Apple Bloom nodded slowly. She waited until Granny Smith had left the room, then reached for her headphones, making sure they were plugged firmly in.


Apple Bloom trudged blearily to school, squinting and rubbing her eyes as she lugged her saddlebags behind her.

Guess I shouldn'tve stayed up all night watching all of those TFP live shows...

APPLECORES!!!
FILLED WITH SEEDS!!!

Great, now it's stuck in my head.

Once she started listening to The Frying Pones, she just couldn't stop. Live shows, interviews, try-not-to-laugh-compilations (which she failed), even fanfiction — it was impossible to resist. How did she even get so obsessed in just one day? She wasn't sure.

She opened her mouth, letting out the widest yawn she had ever let out in her life. She didn't feel like going to school today. It was one of those days where the sun was too bright, the road was too hot, the sky was too —

"Hiya, Apple Bloom!"

"GYAH!!! Huh?"

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo had caught up with her from behind, giant rolls of paper in each of their hooves. "Did you finish your art homework?"

Apple Bloom winced. "No. I completely forgot we even had homework," she groaned.

"Oh. Well, that's a shame." Sweetie Belle frowned and looked a little closer at her friend. "Um, Apple Bloom, are you feeling okay? You look kinda... fried."

"Fried? I don't know anything about The Frying Pones! Who said anything about The Frying Pones?"

"Uh... Nopony said anything about The Frying Pones," Scootaloo replied, concerned.

"Well, did you check them out?" Sweetie Belle asked. "What did you think?"

"They were..." Apple Bloom didn't want to lie to her best friends, but what of the consequences? What if they told everypony else? What if... what if...?!?! She couldn't take any chances.

"Meh," she simply shrugged. "I guess I'm still a country music kind of filly."

"Oh," Sweetie Belle said, disappointed. "That's too bad. The vocalist, Dark Raven? He's my favourite."

Something clicked within Apple Bloom. Something tiny, like a spark, but explosive.

"Ohmahgoodness I know right? Dark Raven is the best! Did ya know he writes all the lyrics for TFP? That stands for The Frying Pones! It's too long to say, so it's easier to say TFP! But yeah, Dark Raven is mah favourite too, and TFP is awesome! Did you know TFP was founded the year I was born? That means I'm the same age as the band! Cool, right? What's your favourite TFP song? Mah favourite is 'Applecores'! It fits me so well, it's like they wrote the song for me, but obviously —"

She realised her friends were staring at her in shock, their jaws gaping wide open.

"I mean... I mean..." Apple Bloom's voice trailed off, and her cheeks turned the colour of her bow.

"I KNEW IT! YOU'VE BECOME A FRYFAN!"

"A Fryfan?" Apple Bloom stopped in her tracks. "What's that?"

"A fan of The Frying Pones, of course!" Scootaloo replied. "You know, 'fry' and 'fan' put together say —"

"We get it, it says Fryfan," Sweetie Belle chuckled. "Like a frypan."

Apple Bloom was confused. "So, you guys ain't gonna laugh at me?"

"Of course not! The Frying Pones is a great band!" Sweetie Belle smiled, clapping her hooves in excitement.

"Yeah!" Scootaloo agreed. "Even I listen to them from time to time."

"And you're completely fine with me being a fan of 'em?"

"Well, yeah, sure, as long as you don't get too crazy," Scootaloo reasoned, but Apple Bloom wasn't listening.

In fact, she was already lost in her own world, eyes twitching, a crazed grin on her face.

A Fryfan, huh? That doesn't sound too bad.

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